How To Attract a Soul Mate Into Your Life

“When you make a choice, you change the future.” 
Deepak Chopra

 

July is a wonderful month for love. But what if you don’t have any in your life yet? Today I’d like to share a simple technique with you that can help you call in a soul mate or rejuvenate an existing relationship. (Yes, Leisa, I wrote this post for you!)

When it comes to manifestation the Universe works like a giant restaurant. It will only deliver you what you order. If you keep changing your mind it makes it hard for those hard-working kitchen angels to create the right ‘dish’ and deliver it speedily to you.  Mixed messages are confusing for everyone, and will ultimately frustrate you in your attempts to find true love.

Most people spend more time choosing a car than they do choosing a life partner.  How often do people fall into a relationship and then try and make it over into the one they want?  We throw so much time and energy and money into trying to make square pegs fit into round holes.  Often years of our lives are spent fighting battles we were never meant to win.

Discernment is the key to successful relationships, and discernment must ALWAYS start with awareness.  Are you aware of what you want in a relationship?  For many people, their clearest opinions and decisions start out being based around what they DON’T want.  This is as good a place to start as any, as long as you are able to then turn each negative into a positive.  “I don’t want a partner who will cheat on me” becomes, “I deserve a partner who will be faithful and loyal to our relationship.”  Look to the good and unsuccessful relationships around you to guide you in making your love choices.

Take time to really think about the sort of partner and the type of relationship you are looking for. As you become clearer about what you want, begin by writing down the qualities and characteristics of this relationship. Create a ‘Love Shopping List’ and add to it as your awareness increases. Take your time with this. Do you rush into buying a house, or choosing an expensive once-in-a-lifetime holiday? Make your list comfortable, accurate and reflective of your innermost desires.

If you meet someone who clearly does not fit what you ordered, then wait!  Maybe the Universal Chef is still cooking your meal.  (And. of course, they may wonderfully surpass all of your expectations!)

 

Activity

I have used this method myself, and so have many of my students, friends and clients.  This activity involves letting the Universe know exactly what you are wanting in a love relationship so that it can deliver this to you. In every single case that I am aware of it has been successful! I also know of people who have refreshed and revived existing relationships using the same technique.

When you have compiled your list of characteristics and qualities for your desired partner (as explained in the previous paragraphs above) review them until you are satisfied with your choices.

Take a clean white sheet of paper and write the following:

I, (Insert your name), now chose the following in my life partner:

Now write down your list. Finish the work by writing, I now accept this or better in my life. Sign the work and set it to one side. 

Take a second piece of paper. On this piece write down all of the qualities and characteristics within YOU that you can offer a loving partner.  Be honest and humble.  Sign it with, I offer this and better to my life partner.  This part is important because the Universe is governed by laws of energetic exchange – you don’t get anything for nothing!

Now fold both pieces of paper and seal them in an envelope. Hold the letter in your hands. In your mind’s eye, imagine these pieces of paper and surround them with a pink bubble of Light. Pour love energy into the pink bubble until your letter feels fully charged.

Put the envelope somewhere safe, and place your expectations to one side. If you ever think of the letter send more love and light to the pink bubble of energy surrounding it. Be open to what comes to you. The Universe always surprises us with more good than we could ever imagine for ourselves.

Wishing for you a month of kindness, love and heart healing,

Nicole  xx

The Week Ahead – Oracle Reading for Monday 5 September 2016

Peace oracle card

“The beginning of love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves, the resolution not to twist them to fit our own image. If in loving them we do not love what they are, but only their potential likeness to ourselves, then we do not love them: we only love the reflection of ourselves we find in them.”
~ Thomas Merton

 

Hello Lovelies,

Here’s this week’s oracle card and my take on the energetic outlook for the days ahead.

‘Peace’, from Colette Baron-Reid’s Wisdom of the Oracle deck is a gentle reminder of the need for self-love and self-care, and for the importance of clear-thinking and heart-wisdom in your relationships.

First and foremost this week is the requirement for rest and reflection. Give yourself time to heal. Give yourself time to think. Give yourself time to dream and to plan and to work on your own projects. Make yourself, and your dreams and needs, your crowning priority this week.

Find it impossible to get quiet time at home? Then take yourself for a walk. Visit the beach or a local park. Stay up late or get up early, while the rest of your household is in bed. Sometimes we need a space that is free of the thoughts and energies of others, in order to truly feel and be ourselves.

For some of you, this week may also be about finding your own space, creating an office or a writing room or art space. It could be about house hunting, or moving out on your own.

Got a project on the go? Make space for it. Create dedicated studio room, desk space, computer files, and project boxes to store your scraps of paper and trinkets.

This week is also about relationships. Here are the top five considerations:

#1 Put your relationship with yourself first this week. Extend the olive branch of forgiveness and self-acceptance to yourself, whatever your current circumstances. Need help? Ask for it. Get your needs met. Do or schedule the things you’ve been putting off that support your physical and emotional health, your learning, your wild untamed yearnings (like art classes or walking the Camino or dancing all night). Yep. Really.

#2 Who can you let into your inner circle? Who do you trust? Who has your back? Who lifts you up? Ensure that these relationships are in good repair. Nurture them and spend time in them or schedule some catch-ups for the weeks ahead.

#3 Those difficult and hurting spaces with people. Review them from a soul space rather than from that place of wounding. Consider the other person. Are they insecure, anxious, driven by a worry or neurosis that you can’t see? All of us are wounded, one way of the other. When we sit in compassion we begin to allow that behaviours and attitudes may be less about ourselves and more a reflection of where the other person is at. Try your best to look from new angles at these old or ongoing hurts and you’ll begin to feel a shift.

#4 Where are your boundaries? Sometimes we end up in relationships that don’t work for us as well as they might because we haven’t clearly expressed our needs and our boundaries. We put other people’s feelings or needs ahead of our own wellbeing. That never ends well for us…  (You know it!) This week speak up for yourself. Identify and patrol your emotional perimeter. Use discernment around who you allow into your inner circle.

#5 The Drift Away Factor and Door Closing. There will sometimes be relationships that only stay active because of the one-sided effort we invest. This week think about how you might invest less, so that the relationships drift further and further away from you. OR so that the other party must suddenly begin to pull their weight. Any relationships that need a door closed on them as a more formal ending? This could be love, work, family, friends, or even a destructive behaviour you do to yourself.

It’s a great week. A week where you can get so much done. A week where you can truly begin to feel and experience forward momentum. Use it well!

Much love to you, Nicole xx

 

PS – By the time you read this I will already be in hospital, getting ready to be prepped for surgery. I’ve written a few posts and scheduled them to post automatically over the next few weeks so there will still be stuff to read and share. But I’ll post here or on facebook just as soon as I am able and update you all. Thanks for all the love and well-wishes. I’ll speak with you soon. Bless <3

Day 4 – Oracle Card Challenge

“When you concentrate your energy purposely on the future possibility that you aspire to realize, your energy is passed on to it and makes it attracted to you with a force stronger than the one you directed towards it.”
~ Stephen Richards

 

My Primary Love Relationship

This question will mean different things to different people, so work this according to your circumstances. You may be in a relationship, and if so, use that relationship as the subject of your enquiry. You may be single and wanting to be in a relationship. You may be exiting or thinking about exiting a relationship. Your primary love relationship may be with God, or with yourself as a happily single person. The dearest person in your life may not be a romantic partner but a family member, friend or even an animal companion. Get clear first about your Primary Love Relationship situation and then continue with today’s exercise.

Here’s what you need to do:

Take your crystal, and complete this short guided meditation:

Hold your stone in your cupped hands, close your eyes, and slow your breathing. Bring white light into your body until you feel peaceful and calm. Then bring white light into the crystal too. Allow yourself to connect to the stone. You may feel it tingle, or visualise a colour in your mind’s eye. When you are ready, open your eyes. Keep your stone near you, and hold it when you write.

 

 

Now shuffle your cards, while silently asking the question to yourself ‘What do I most need to know about my primary love relationship?’

When you have shuffled the cards and they feel ‘done’, select one card using the method that feels right for you.

Place the card face up in front of you.

Clear your mind by closing your eyes and taking one deep breath in and then out. Open your eyes again. Take a minute and look at the picture.

What stands out for you today? Is it an image or a colour? Is it a number or a word? What are your first impressions? What thoughts come into your mind?

Write these down in your journal.

Now let’s go a little deeper. What feelings or words does this card evoke in your mind when you think about the card and its images in relation to the question ‘What do I most need to know about my primary love relationship?’ Take five minutes and write some stream-of-consciousness thoughts down. Don’t censor or judge them. Trust the process. Draw a second card for clarification if you need to.

Finally, read back over what you have written.

Hold some love energy in your heart today. Bless xx

When You’re in Flow and Your Loved One’s Stuck? Be The Lighthouse…

“What does a lighthouse do? I ask myself. It never moves. It cannot hike up its rocky skirt and dash into the ocean to rescue the foundering ship. It cannot calm the waters or clear the shoals. It can only cast light into the darkness. It can only point the way. Yet, through one lighthouse, you guide many ships. Show this old lighthouse the way.”
~ Lisa Wingate, The Prayer Box

 

2016 is a year of shift and change and growth.

Right now some of us are shifting back into flow, our futures are looking brighter, we have a dream and passion and positivity and…

… our loved one is our polar opposite. It could be our husband, our wife, our lover, our child, our friend, our parent, our sibling. While we are moving, they are stuck. While we are in light, they are in shadow.

There are so many reasons for this. It could be illness, unemployment, depression. It might be family dramas, money problems, low self-esteem, addiction, anger, or a raft of other things.

It’s hard for them – that place where they are. It’s hard for us, when we see our beloved hurting. Sometimes it’s hard to even be in their space.

But we love them.

So, what do we do?

Most Lightworkers are helpers and healers. That’s our first impulse. First and foremost, don’t be your loved one’s therapist. Help them find one, if that’s what they need. It is not your job to ‘fix’ them. Loving and supporting is what we’ve signed up for. Listening. Caring. Carrying the load for a while if we must.

I know, you still want to do something! Even after I have told you not to rush in.

That’s okay. There is something you can do. A lot you can do, actually.

Here’s my advice. It’s tried and tested. It works.

 

Work on you

Work on you. Lift your own vibration. Work on your own shit. Do this without the need for validation or approval or praise. Do it because it’s what your soul needs. Find your own therapist, if that is what it takes. Get support. Get help. Spend time getting to know and understand yourself. Get happy in your own skin, as much as anyone can. Recognise that life is peaks and troughs and it will never be all happiness. It will never be everything going right for everyone all the time. That’s okay. Work on you. Do it because self-work is important, and we come to it in our own time. When we are ready. Some people aren’t interested in self work. Some people are not ready. That’s okay. Work on you.

When you work on you, and heal things in your own life, your vibration lifts. Healing and change ripple out in mysterious and wonderful ways, provoking healing and shift in others. As your vibration lifts it positively affects the people around you. That’s how vibration works. But don’t do it for them. Do it for you!

 

Get excited about your own life

Get excited about your own life.  Find friends within the areas that interest you – spiritual stuff, business, writing, gardening, chainsaw ice-carving, whatever is your thing – and hang out with them. Talk with them about your amazing breakthroughs, your hopes and dreams for your interests.

Don’t limit your dreams or your life because your loved one is stuck and miserable. Don’t put your own happiness on hold. Talk about your life with your loved one when it’s appropriate but don’t be boastful, don’t hold yourself up as some shining example. Don’t make it worse for them. They are already in the hole. Treat them normally. Have the conversation if it’s right for both of you.

If your loved one is cynical, angry, defensive or caustic – if they put you or your dreams down, and leave you feeling worse for having shared – don’t share. Protect your own hopes and dreams. Leave a little space that is sacred and light-filled and that can be a refuge for you against the darkness, pain and negativity of other areas of your life. Doing what you love fills you up, and allows you to keep giving. Getting excited about your own life helps you cope better with the space your beloved finds themselves in.

 

Hold Space for Your Loved One

What does holding space even mean? Simply this – we choose to stop each day, in our prayers or meditations or quiet spaces, and we see our loved one’s life unfolding in positive ways. We dwell for a moment on their best qualities, on happy memories from the past, and on potential positive outcomes in the future. We think and see the best for them, and our intention helps pave the way.

Image by Dougal Waters

Image by Dougal Waters

 

Live From Kindness

Choose words and actions that are loving and kind. For yourself. For your loved ones. Treat yourself well. Look after your body. Get enough sleep. Drink water and eat nourishing foods. Clean your house. Do what you can to pay the bills. Set clear boundaries at home and work. Respect yourself. Fill yourself up with what makes you happy. Know that we each have our own journeys and our own lessons.

Kindness (1)

 

When we look after ourselves and live from a place of calm centre – when we work on ourselves and lift our own vibrations – we become like the lighthouse. We beam light, love and positive vibration out into the world, and others are affected. I have seen loved ones go through enormous shift after I have worked on my own life. I have seen all kinds of magic that has been invoked through the simple act of self-responsibility and self-love.

When we work on ourselves the whole world changes.

This may mean that your loved ones will shift to a better place. That they will find their way out of the space they are in and you will find a deepening and a healing within your own relationship with each other. When this happens it is a beautiful and precious thing. And it happens a lot when we do self-work!

This may mean that you shift so far that you find you can no longer be in the same circle, the same space, the same relationship as the one you love or loved. The relationship may fall away. That will be okay too. It will be what it needs to be.

 

My sister-in-law sent me this beautiful video, taken near my farm at Byron Bay on last year’s Blue Moon. I love how the moon rises. I love how the Lighthouse stays constant. Both shine their light. Both guide us.

This year, be the Lighthouse. Shine your light. Be the moon. Rise in your own way, and live from your own inner magic and beauty. Even in the darkness. Through every storm and tempest.

 

 

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. ~ Marianne Williamson

 

Trusting Your Instincts In Relationships

“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.”
~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Faust: First Part

“We have all a better guide in ourselves, if we would attend to it, than any other person can be.”
~Jane Austen, Mansfield Park

 

I have some friends going through hard times in relationships just now. They are wondering how they ended up where they are – with a lover who cheats, with a husband who suddenly wants out, with a boss who keeps lying.

When I’ve talked with them they’ve been so hurt, so distressed and devastated at what has happened.

Then they’ve asked the questions.

Why did this happen?

How did this happen?

Why did I not see this coming?

And the truth is, a wise part of them did see it coming. A wise part of them already knew. So, where did it all go so wrong?

All of us have intuition, and instinct. This force within us operates with a vast amount of information – not just our conscious awareness.

When I pressed my friends, eventually all of them admitted that there had been things in their relationship, from early on, that made them uncomfortable. Or there was a point where things began to change. And that point was a long way from where they are now.

In each situation, my friends had intuitively picked up on an energy or behaviour that was out of flow, out of truth – either with the way the person was presenting themselves within the relationship, or with my friend’s values and beliefs. My friends’ intuition had red-flagged something, using those feelings of discomfort and that instinctive knowledge to bring the situation to their conscious attention.

So why didn’t they allow themselves to be guided by that intuition? Quite simply, their mind got in the way. They discounted or second-guessed or validated that discomfort away. They saw what they wanted to see, or needed to see, rather than what was. They gave second chances, chose to believe what they were told, and shoved that discomfort back down where it no longer bothered them.

Haven’t you done that before? I know I have.

But that’s okay. Intuition is not a one time thing. Our internal wisdom will connect with us over and over again. Our job is to listen, and to pay attention. To give ourselves space to think things through and to honour these feelings and ideas that arise from deep inside us.

Of course, intuition doesn’t simply show us what’s wrong. It can also show us what’s good. We have a compulsion to introduce ourselves to someone at a party. Things blossom into a beautiful relationship.

Suddenly it seems like we can’t stop thinking about a business idea, or studying again. When we are brave enough to honour that instinctive direction we find ourselves loving the changes we have made. They feel so right for us.

We come to an awareness, without evidence or proof, that maybe the aloof girl or guy in the office is just shy, and when we make an effort to get to know them we find out that we were right.

Intuition says, Hey – let’s drive down this street for no apparent reason – come on, humour me! And there you find your dream house, or the shop with the thing you want, or an old college friend walking their dog, the same friend whose address you lost years ago and who you’d had no idea how to track down.

Image from Pixabay

Image from Pixabay

Intuition and instinct show us where we are out of flow with the Universe, and also how to get back into flow again, with relationships and actions that support our Highest Good.

So the big question is – are you honouring your intuition? Or are you second-guessing yourself?

Maybe it’s time you started paying attention, and trusting what comes up for you.

If you’re not sure how to do that, these posts will help:

Using Your Internal Compass to Navigate Life

Understanding Intuition and Gut Instinct

or this program of eight free exercises designed to help you connect to and work with intuition, energy and the metaphysical:

Strengthening Your Intuition – A program of Exercises

Image from forsurequotes

Image from forsurequotes

 

Recognising Karmic Relationships

Lovers - by Olivia Bee

Lovers – by Olivia Bee

“When someone has a strong intuitive connection, Buddhism suggests that it’s because of karma, some past connection.”
~ Richard Gere

 

Karmic relationships are a big part of our growth. We can experience a karmic relationship with lovers, siblings, children, parents or friends, even work colleagues.

Contrary to popular opinion, not all karmic relationships are soul mate relationships.  Rather, karmic relationships happen because before we came to this life we have made a conscious choice to come together with another soul so that we can share, support, learn, heal, resolve past life issues, forgive and grow.

There are several defining characteristics of karmic relationships, but the most obvious ones are:

  • instant recognition of each other on some level, especially when there is no way you have ever met before
  • strong, and often unexplainable attraction (the sort we can’t justify to ourselves, let alone family or friends)
  • an intensity to the relationship, either positive or negative
  • a tendency for the relationship to become for a time, the most dominant or perhaps even our ONLY relationship
  • a deep emotional or physical connection, often that has an addictive quality
  • an ability to really press each other’s buttons
  • an inability to easily walk away
  • a feeling of the need to stay, even if it is hard, so that you can work through or resolve something

Usually karmic relationships serve to bring you together for a definite purpose, and once that purpose is achieved, the ‘spell’ is broken and the relationship loses its pull. Looking back you might wonder what ever brought you together – even you won’t understand it!

Many of my clients have experienced intense friendships or love relationships that taught them hard lessons, that changed them in some way, and that caused them to move in a new direction.  Often these relationships were painful, uncomfortable and a wild ride.  None of their friends or family understood why they were in that relationship, and it often made little sense to my clients either, but they couldn’t seem to help it or avoid the pull of the other person.

A large number of them then went on to find a lifelong partner, or a satisfying new life direction…

Not all relationships are difficult – some are wonderful, but last only a short time.  They buoy us up and remind us of something positive and important about ourselves, building a stronger sense of self and purpose.

Some karmic relationships will support you for your entire life, and if one person dies before the other the one who remains will not find someone to replace that love, and that feeling of deep connection will endure even if that person takes a new partner.  Note – this relationship may not be with a lover, but could also be with a friend or family member.

These enduring karmic relationships are characterised by:

  • the feeling that you understand in each in ways other people can’t
  • a feeling of loyalty and a deep bond
  • a sense of being very comfortable with the other person, as if you’ve known them forever, even if you’ve just met
  • a knowledge that you are sharing a path through life
  • a feeling of deep trust, and a knowledge that you are supported by this person
  • an easiness with one another, even if you do have issues to work through
  • an ability to truly forgive, and to move on, together
Image from www.services.flickie.com

Image from www.services.flickie.com

We are all connected, often in ways we can’t possibly understand from where we are, down here. I find it incredibly reassuring, to know that love transcends time and space, and that we care enough about each other as souls to show up in each others lives over and over again.
If you’d like to read more about karmic relationships and the incredible power of love you might enjoy these posts:
The baby who needed to speak – about the love between brothers and a powerful act of forgiveness and redemption
The lady who walked out of my past – an enduring romantic love across time and space, and the karmic love connections of a soul group and family
Alice’s lifelong invisible friend – how love endures and supports us even when someone has died
Our spooky pup – an argument for pet reincarnation – our pets often come back to us, in that same karmic wheel of love

Making My Life Work for Me – Week 3

Image from www.vk.com

Image from www.vk.com

“Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.” ~ Oscar Wilde

“A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.” ~ Thomas Carlyle

“Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life.” ~ Leo Buscaglia

Welcome to Week 3 of our six week Making My Life Work for Me Program. (If you’re just joining us now, pop back and read the very first post so that you can gather the materials we’ll be using today.)

Our focus this week is on reconnecting with the energy of love in our lives.  Life becomes very empty without love – and I don’t just mean romantic love.

Get ready to open up your heart and let love in. A life lived with passion, purpose and a full heart will make you feel alive, energised and so grateful for the blessing of every day.

hearts

Instructions:

We will be following the same format each week.  Read through this entire post before you get started. You can do the activities all on one day, or spread them put over the week – whatever works best for you.

Meditation:

We’re going to start with a meditation to help you connect into and draw more love into your life.  Hold your crystal and drape your scarf or shawl around your shoulders.  Set aside twelve minutes for this. When you’re ready click the link below and simply follow the sound of my voice:

Nicole Cody’s Guided Meditation for Manifesting Love

Know that true and lasting love is possible. Know that you are already Loved. Love is your Nature. Love is your natural expression. ❤

(PS – I apologise for the breathy-ness of the recording, especially towards the end but my big fat heart is playing up today.)

Visualisation:

Do this straight after your meditation, when you are ready and open for receiving! Close your eyes and use your imagination. See yourself the way you want yourself to be in the world.  Feel yourself well loved, in love with life, and expressing that love joyfully in the world.  Have gratitude and expectation of drawing these things into your life.  Really put some energy into this.  You can repeat this step again this week (even daily) if it feels right.  Thoughts are things, and this is how you manifest in the Universe!

Image from www.bakeitinacake.com

Image from www.bakeitinacake.com

Using Your Journal:

Go back to the front of your journal and read your Pledge out loud.

You’ve committed to making a better life for yourself.  A better life means a life that holds more love – more connection to the significant relationships in your life, new relationships, and time for what matters to you. You are worthy of true and lasting love – with yourself, with family and other important people, with life paths, places and lifestyles. Be open to love in all its forms as you work with your journal this week.

Feel free to use your paints, coloured pens, glitter and stickers to make your journal visually attractive.  Get involved in the love manifestation process by pouring your creative heart into this week’s activities.

Card of the Week: 

2013-03-24 16.30.18Let’s start our week by selecting some reflective spiritual Guidance.  Take your deck of positive cards, or your rune bag.  Close you eyes and offer up a prayer for the Highest Good, and then quiet your mind.

Randomly select a card/rune, trusting that it will have a message to guide you this week.  Write down the name of the card/rune and the message.  Feel free to add any additional thoughts or insights you might have.

Here’s what I chose for us: I love the message and appropriateness of this week’s card!

2013-04-07 08.45.41

2013-04-07 08.46.14

Our lives are made rich by relationships, and by having things in our lives that we care about deeply. Who can you reach out to this week and in the months ahead? How can you show love for yourself or someone special to you?

Week 3 Journal Activity:

On a clean page write a stream of consciousness around the question Where do I need more Love?  Start by clearing your mind, and then focus on your heart. This can be a hard thing to do if you haven’t checked in for a while. Look to the following areas and choose any or all of them to explore: self, health, family, life partner, friendships, animal companions, home, hobbies and interests, career, finances, spirituality, community.  No matter what you find when you look inside, intensify that feeling and then start writing. Draw pictures or mind map if you feel like it. Play music if it helps evoke the mood. Cast your net wide, and over the next few days keep adding to your list.  Allow any emotions that come up to be honoured, and then let them go. Keep bringing your attention back to your heart.

And now for heart art…

Collage – Self Portrait: Things that my heart loves.  Today we’re going to make a collaged picture of ourselves, made up of all of the things our heart loves.  If you choose, you can also add in photographs or copies of photographs of people, pets, places and other things dear to you.

Take your pile of old magazines and place them in front of you.  Holding your crystal close your eyes and say out loud “Universe, I am open to all Guidance and my own Higher Wisdom to help me invite, understand and honour the energy of love in my life. I AM love – love is in me and all around me.”  Take a moment and sit in that energy, really feeling yourself connecting into and opening to that heart wisdom.

Then when you’re ready, open your eyes and start flicking through the magazines.  If any pictures or words appeal to you, cut or rip them out and place them beside you. When you have enough images cut them up neatly, and then spend some time arranging them on a page or double page of your journal. Start by drawing a rough outline of your head and shoulders.  Then fill in your self portrait with images and words. If your journal isn’t big enough, feel free to use a sheet of cardboard. Glue your images to the page and leave it open to dry. There are so many things to fill you up with love.  Expect them to start turning up in your life.

Were there any surprises?  Did you notice any particular themes? How can you bring more of this nourishing love energy into your life?

Image from www.artunt.digication.com

Image from www.artunt.digication.com

Gratitude:

What’s already working in your life?  List five things in your journal each day that you are grateful for in your life.

Nightly Healing :

Get into bed and spend five minutes lying quietly in meditation with your eyes closed.  Call on God, Universal Energy, your Angels, your Guides, your Ancestors, whomever you feel comfortable and safe with.  Ask for their help.  Fill your body with white light, and then draw coloured light (just allow a colour to come to you) through your crown chakra (an energy point on the top of your head) and send it anywhere in your body that needs healing.  Feel the warmth as the energy radiates through your body, uplifting and healing you.  Know that answers will come while you are sleeping.

Give thanks, send this same healing gift from you to anyone or anywhere else if it feels right, and then sleep.  Expect dreams that inspire, heal and inform. Wishing you a wonderful week.

Much love to you, Nicole ♥ xx

Youareawesome

 

**PS If you enjoyed this post please vote for my blog, Cauldrons and Cupcakes, in the  Best Australian Blogs 2013 Competition. Votes are accepted from all over the world and You can vote here.  Thank you. ♥

Don’t tell me how good you are. Show me…

Image from www.freeflavour.com

Image from www.freeflavour.com  PS: If you’re not sure what the Australian slang expression FIG JAM stands for , I suggest you google it… (Warning: swears alert!)

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. ” ~ John F. Kennedy

“Talk is cheap.” ~ Anonymous

Today’s post has come about in part after watching a good friend be deeply wounded and disillusioned by the bullying actions of some people who loudly proclaim themselves as ‘enlightened and spiritual’.

Another friend is considering walking away from their life’s passion because of the vicious and mean-spirited ‘critique’ (it wasn’t constructive criticism, it was a poisonous personal attack) from an instructor at an invitation-only Master Class intended to guide emerging artists in front of a public audience at a large gallery. The instructor used my friend to make themselves look good and to extract a laugh or two from the crowd. The attack left my friend floundering in self-doubt, shame and humiliation, suffering anxiety attacks and questioning everything they’d previously held as true.

Most of the people I know who are incredibly good at what they do are also among the most humble, no matter their what field of endeavour. They sit in their integrity. They acknowledge their ability as fact, but have little need to bang their own drum because they are busy being actively engaged in the things that define them. As the saying goes, they walk their talk.

The yoga teacher who awakens each day to perform her personal meditation, pranayamas and asanas before eating her healthy yogini breakfast and getting ready for her classes. Who then comes home to eat her healthy dinner and concludes her day with more yoga, as an integral part of her daily life and philosophy.

Image from tumblr

Image from tumblr

The business mentor who has had years of experience building and running successful organisations, and who continues to sit on the Board of Directors of profitable companies.

Image from leParisien

Image from leParisien

The artist who still attends classes and workshops, and considers themselves constantly evolving; working on their craft even though they are at the top of their field and lauded by their peers.

'Painting in Gold' by Chad

‘Painting in Gold’ by Chad

Whether you are looking to form a relationship, seek employment or learn something new (and especially if you’re a starry-eyed beginner), listen with your eyes. Don’t be seduced by spin.  Don’t be sucked in by wild claims and promises. When we are eager and ready to begin the journey, our enthusiasm often nudges our discernment over into a corner.

Eagerness and newness make us all vulnerable. And sadly, I’ve seen many a beginner derailed because the people they put faith in to guide them on their journey trampled and stamped out that fledgling flame. Or didn’t give them the tools they need to have that promised ‘success’, and then put it all back on the learner when they fail. “Oh well,” they say, “you mustn’t want it enough, you don’t have the ability, your attitude’s all wrong.”

There are so many self-proclaimed ‘guru’s’ out there.  Who do you trust? How do you work out who can actually support your growth?

Image from www.zdnet.com

Image from www.zdnet.com

Word of mouth is a great place to start.

Trust your intuition.

And look for validity of the person’s abilities or claims. Do they walk their talk?  Are they respected within their industry or profession?  Do they have a public track record?  Do their ACTIONS align with their mouth?

The ‘Law of Attraction Wealth Creation Coach’ who has a mountain of debt and lives on credit cards?  Maybe not your best bet.

The ‘Parenting Expert’ who has never had children of their own, or even had them in their home for any length of time.  Really?

The ‘Write a Best-Seller Workshop’ run by the person who has never been published. Perhaps someone who has already walked the path you want to walk would have more concrete advice to share with you.

Even more than that, are they a person you can respect?  Do they have the sort of values and habits you aspire to? Do they treat others well? Are they leading by example?

In this age of social media it’s easy to set yourself up as an expert. In fact there are courses in how to do that!

Back in the day, experts had… wait for it… expertise.  And expertise was hard won through experience.

There’s no magical pill or quick fix in this life that is going to take you from the bottom to the top of your particular mountain. We all have our own path to walk, and everyone has something to teach us, whether that’s through a positive or a negative experience.

The people ahead of you in the climb up your mountain will have valuable insights to share based upon their own journeys. Those insights can save you time, move you ahead more quickly, and help you hone your own skills and talents. So be an active player in your own development.   Use your discernment.  Do your homework.  Make sure they really are higher up that mountain, and not someone standing at the bottom with a giant megaphone and some smooth-talking words…

Take on board what resonates for you, and leave the rest behind.

Above all, don’t take it all too seriously.  Life is an adventure – a big messy glorious adventure. And that’s a beautiful thing.

Strengthening Intuition Week 8 – Honouring our Early Warning System

Tsunami Early Warning System – Image from www.unisdr.org

“As soon as there is life there is danger.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

In this last instalment of our Strengthening Intuition Series we’re looking at how to tune in to and respect our very own Early Warning System. Let’s start by defining exactly what an Early Warning System is:

early warning system

n.

1. A network of sensing devices, such as satellites or radar, for detecting an enemy attack in time to take defensive or counteroffensive measures.
2. A system or procedure designed to warn of a potential or an impending problem.

Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company.

A few years ago I was on a long drive through Outback Australia, and an interview came on the radio. The man being interviewed was a forensic psychologist and profiler, who helped identify and track down serial killers. What fascinated me most about the interview was his accounts of people who had encountered these murderers and lived to tell the tale.

Broadly, the people fell into two categories – those who had not been attacked, and those who had been attacked and had then survived. By studying the two groups, and their responses to the serial killers’ behaviour, the forensic psychologist made a compelling case for the Early Warning System – that inner guidance – that resides within each of us.

The group who had not been attacked?  In each case ‘something’ had made each person feel uneasy after engaging in some form of interaction with the killer. In honouring that sense of uneasiness they had moved on; terminating conversations, stepping away, in some cases even being aggressively ill-mannered to the serial killer due to their inner driver telling them to exert caution.

The group who were attacked but survived? Interestingly, each of them had experienced that same sense of uneasiness, which was then brushed away  or reasoned away, often because of a fear of appearing ‘rude’, or their ingrained training to give the other person (the serial killer) the benefit of the doubt. This group of survivors was very small, and only one person had managed to escape from their attacker.  The others had been saved because their attacker had been disturbed.

What really stayed with me from this interview was that the survivors had experienced not just one example of uneasiness but an escalating series of red flags, warning them of danger, which they had continued to ignore.

Ignoring those simple signals cost many people their lives…

We all have an inbuilt Early Warning System.  It is constantly feeding us information.  But so often, we over-ride the signals with our intellect, or our sense of propriety and worry about offending others – even strangers.

How do we learn to get back in touch with these signals?

All of the exercises that we have practiced over the last seven weeks have helped us to begin paying attention to input that comes from beyond our conscious mind.

There are further steps we can take to refine our ability to listen to our inner Guidance:

  1. Stay in the moment.  When we live inside our head, in the past, or the future, we are no longer connected to what is going on around us right now.  When we are not in the moment, we miss vital signals that can guide us safely through life. Throughout the day, stop, breathe, connect back into your centre, and pay attention to your feelings and intuition.
  2. Still your mind.  Meditation is useful for this, but even a few minutes of quiet sitting or walking will do. Focus only on your breath, and on stillness.  Stay open.
  3. Learn how to centre yourself.  I’ve covered this technique in a previous blog, and it’s a simple way to tune in and operate from a place of balance and awareness.
  4. Honour your feelings and energetic impressions above all.  We are a well-mannered society, and most of us have been taught to value the happiness and good impression others form of us above our own comfort. Manners are important, but being nice is not always in our best interests, and can actually cause us harm.
  5. When your intuition tells you to back away, pay attention. Our gut feeling gives us only three directions: move towards something, a neutral position, or move away. Anything that gives you that sense of unease is worth paying attention to.  Don’t try and rationalise it away. That red flag is there for a reason.

During the Asian Tsunami of 2004, there were many reports of animals and tribal villagers moving out of the path of danger before the tsunami struck.  Scientists have since discovered that there is a part of our brain called the anterior cingulate cortex that is actively engaged in helping guide us when faced with impending hazards of which we may not yet be consciously aware.

Nature has gifted all of us with a strong guidance system.  Our job is to learn to pay attention to that guidance.  It only takes a little practice, and the willingness to value yourself as much as you value the wellbeing and good opinion of others.

When your Heart says No…

Image from www.grassrootsy.com

“We need to find the courage to say ‘NO’ to the things and people that are not serving us if we want to rediscover ourselves and live our lives with authenticity.”  ~ Barbara De Angelis

We’ve all been there.  The place that ticks all the boxes.  The partner our friends and parents love.  The dream job.  The thing we thought we really wanted.  The place we always figured we’d be happy to be…

Image from www.xfinitytv.comcast.net

But what happens when you meet that dream lover, or find yourself in that perfect place, or finally achieve the big thing, only to find that something’s missing?

You scratch your head, and check the boxes.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

It all looks good. It all adds up.

So why do you feel like you’re dead inside?

Life isn’t always about finding a partner/job/solution that ticks all your boxes.  After all, wasn’t it your HEAD that made the list up in the first place? Or, maybe even worse, it’s your Mother’s list, or your teacher’s, or something you found in a self-help book or some corner of the internet.

If it’s not feeling right, it’s because your HEART isn’t engaged.  And that’s where the magic happens!

Image from www.favim.com

Think back over your life, and you’ll soon know what I mean.  Remember the outfit you loved so much because it transformed you somehow.  The one you never would have chosen for yourself, because you didn’t think that colour suited you. But once you tried it on, you knew…

What about your unlikely best friend, back at school?  The one so opposite to you, and when you got together all you did was laugh and laugh. You came from different backgrounds, you looked completely different to one another, but you both were crazy about that one thing that brought you together in the first place.

Remember the weird combination of flavours that had you totally hooked at that little Thai street cafe on the last night of your overseas holiday – your whole life up until that point had been about the plain sort of food your grandma cooked.  Since then you’ve sought out food like that back home. You even COOK food like that at home.

Life is a glorious adventure, and it was never meant to fit so neatly into a plan, or a list or a flow chart. Certainly not one that is safe, sensible and completely without risk.  All the best stuff in life is the stuff you never could have made up for yourself.

Hearts have a wisdom all their own.  And the wisdom they share with you might not make any sense at all to your brain.  Or to anyone else’s brain. (But whose life is this anyway?)

Heart wisdom isn’t logical and yet it usually shows you the best path to happiness in life.

When your heart says NO, pay attention. When all the boxes are ticked, and there’s no gleam in your eye, no enthusiasm in your step, your heart is trying very hard to tell you something.

Haven’t you ever heard the expression ‘my heart’s just not in it’? That’s your heart saying NO.

When your heart says no, it’s asking you to stretch, it’s encouraging you to grow. That might feel a little strange at first.  It might even feel a little wrong.  Don’t confuse fear with intuition… What we come to love often looks or feels different to what we had expected in our mind.

When your heart says NO it’s because it understands that there is a YES just round the next corner, and if you say wrongly say YES to a NO, you close yourself off to the magic and miracles that give us the best and most memorable parts of life.

Tune in today.  Ask your heart.  Is it a YES?  Is it a NO?

When your heart says NO, be brave.  Move on…