One of those mornings…

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“Have you ever heard the wonderful silence just before the dawn? Or the quiet and calm just as a storm ends? Or perhaps you know the silence when you haven’t the answer to a question you’ve been asked, or the hush of a country road at night, or the expectant pause of a room full of people when someone is just about to speak, or, most beautiful of all, the moment after the door closes and you’re alone in the whole house? Each one is different, you know, and all very beautiful if you listen carefully.” 
~ Norton Juster, The Phantom Tollbooth

Our farm is usually a tranquil place first thing in the morning. There’s the dawn chorus, with its multitude of birdsongs.  Perhaps the lowing of a cow, and the rustle of the wind in the trees.

But this morning the soundscape was a little different.

Instead of tranquility we had loud girly screams.

And yes, I was the source of those screams.

Why?

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I put one foot into my left gumboot, and my bare toes found… instead of bare space… something squishy and cold and wriggly and wrong.

A toad.

Yep.  I screamed. A good girly scream. I wasn’t expecting that big cane toad to be in my boot.

Gathering my wits I tipped that toad out and put my boot on. Then gently eased my right foot into the other boot.

Erk! Something slimy, gross and stinky.

Harry had retrieved a bone from the walk-through-cow, a long dead animal down on the flats – the dog equivalent of a MacDonalds drive-through. To stop Bert finding it, Harry hid it in my right gumboot.

Whoops! Sorry, Mum...

Whoops! Sorry, Mum… I might just sit over here and make like I’m invisible.

I took the hint and decided not to go for a walk.  Instead I opted for a nice hot shower to warm up.

And that was the source of girly scream number three.

A gigantic huntsman spider dropped off the shower rose and onto my head. This was actually the scream that woke the world up!

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After which he calmly climbed back up to his original spot.

And no, I haven’t managed to have a shower yet.

I’m going to have a calming cup of tea instead.

So not cool…

25 thoughts on “One of those mornings…

  1. Ummm, I can’t help but grin and think…Tea. First. Then, contemplate other activities. Of any kind. One way of communing with nature…..*still grinning*.

  2. I would have been okay with the toad but if I found that spider anywhere in my house I don’t think I’d handle it as calmly as you did. That’s some spider!

  3. Oh my god. Spiders are my biggest fear! Well, bugs are, but spiders are the worse. I don’t trust things with skeletons on the OUTSIDE, unless they are crabs, lobsters, or shrimp. Then they are delicious.

    This reminds me of the time when I ordered a pair of boots online. They were delivered, I stuck one foot in, felt something strange and papery, stuck my hand in and pulled out A GIANT COCKROACH!

    I screamed so loudly that car alarms went off in the street. Don’t know if it was my screaming that set them off, but it seemed to coincide too perfectly.

  4. What a surprisingly different start to your day. You tell it so well, I had to giggle. Hope your day settles and you can connect with nature at slightly more of a distance than a spider head massage or a toad-and-dead-cow-bone foot rub! 😉

  5. HOLY S***. Can you imagine if this had happened to another toad and spider phobic on the weekend?! She would’ve stripped the paint off the walls! EEEEEEEK!!!!!!! xoxo

  6. OMG. My daughter, Jennifer, forwarded your post to me because I’ve also been having unpleasant critter encounters, but I have to say you’ve got me beat. I see she’s already given you the advice I was going to…to be sure to check your teacup before drinking! I’ll bet you’ll not step into your boots again without turning them upside down first. Oh, and congratulations for having the presence of mind to photograph that spider. I didn’t even think of it until it was too late.

  7. Oh Nuts I really dislike those cane toads almost lost a pup because of one. And I am very familiar of the “doggie Drive through …really stinky…thank the Godess we don’t have any of those nasty spiders here or you would hear my “girly Scream all the way over there. My Hubby likes to hide fake insects in our restaurant for the workers to find and no matter how often he does it the screams are always “girly” even from the men. Hi Harry

  8. duuuuuuude!!! that’s an intense few minutes there. woah. your poor nerves! & the magnolia pic at the start looked so peaceful & tranquil…not at all the story i was expecting! biglove x

  9. Ha Ha – all these precious creatures getting into your space! I am glad Mr Funnel Web wasn’t in your show (maybe the universe was looking after you and Mr Toad had chased him out!)

  10. As a farm girl from way back …. always shake out your gummies before putting them on. As you discovered some things take up residence in the night. Love and smiles Robyn xxx

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