Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else. I’ve felt that many times. My hope for all of us is that “the miles we go before we sleep” will be filled with all the feelings that come from deep caring – delight, sadness, joy, wisdom – and that in all the endings of our life, we will be able to see the new beginnings.Fred Rogers
It’s a strange day here for us today.
This time ten years ago, just after we’d been through heartbreaking years of drought, and then a sudden and catastrophic flood that devastated our Lockyer Valley farm, my husband and I sat at our kitchen table in tears, and said to each other, I can’t do this any more.
We were unable to get to our flooded farm, because the roads had washed away. We’d just heard that friends and neighbours had perished, others had pets and horses and livestock missing, and everything was in turmoil. We’d been told that our home had major structural damage, and suddenly we just knew. We were done with the farm that we’d poured our heart into, where we’d hand-built our strawbale house and revegetated and replanted so much of the land, and where we had so many dreams still to realise.
I’d never thought we’d make such a decision, but we both felt it in our hearts. A little over a year later we sold the farm to the local council as a nature reserve, so that it could always be protected in the way that we had sought to protect and enhance the biodiversity there. We already lived mostly at the Possum Creek farm, down behind Byron Bay. Between the two farms we’d had the opportunity to create a viable and wonderful organic farming enterprise. To sell the bigger farm meant that our dreams would have to change.
Today, ten years to the day since we made that huge decision, we’re about to make another. It also unplanned and unexpected. But we feel it in our hearts. There’s still a lot to work out, and things that are yet to fall into place, but in our hearts we’ve already had that realisation. This time it’s not a place of pain. Instead, we are following our joy.
So, wish us luck today. I’ll keep you posted, once we know what’s going on and our internal decision becomes an external one.
Much love, a stomach full of nerves, and a heart full of hope, Nicole xx