“I still think that everyone’s life, no matter how unremarkable, has a singular tragic encounter after which everything that really matters will happen. That moment is the catalyst – the first step in the equation. But knowing the first step will get you nowhere – it’s what comes after that determines the result.”
~ Robyn Schneider, The Beginning of Everything
It’s a little over a year since I began my treatment for Lyme and various co-infections, and this morning my husband is taking me back to my doctor to get the results of a huge barrage of tests to see what progress I have actually made since beginning my drug and herb regime.
There will be a lot to talk about. In this past month I have had brain scans, heart scans, bone scans, and innumerable blood tests. Among other things…
I admit to being nervous. I want for this appointment to go well. I want to hold in my hands some tangible proof that all of this suffering has been worth it in the name of progress.
Truth be told, despite the horrendous nature of the drugs, and the herxing, and the misery, I really do believe that I have turned the corner. My brain is working again. I can feel a strength in me that wasn’t there even a month ago. But will this feeling translate into some kind of scientific evidence?
Yes, I am the psychic who needs proof. I don’t want to trust ‘just a feeling’. I want that feeling validated by objective data!
This morning I’ve meditated, sipped tea, hurried down a little food so that I could take my meds, and now I’m dressed and ready to go just as the sun is coming up. It’s a long drive, and today I will be the first appointment in my doctor’s day. Oh, the butterflies in my stomach. Oh, the apprehension.
I promise I’ll let you know how it all goes. 🙂