“What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone?” ~ Bertolt Brecht
“Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.” ~ G.K. Chesterton, Alarms and Discursions
I was sure I put a wedge of cheese on the kitchen bench last night while I was making dinner.
I popped outside for a moment to pluck some herbs from the garden, and when I came back the cheese was gone.
I looked in the fridge.
I looked in the pantry.
I even looked in the bin.
What had I done with the cheese?
Harry, I asked, have you seen my cheese?
Harry pretended I had woken him up. No, he hadn’t seen my cheese.
He did look a bit guilty though…
Bert, I asked, have you seen my cheese?
No, Bert hadn’t seen it either. But Bert did look decidedly uncomfortable with my question.
Hours later, after Ben and I enjoyed a cheese-free omelette dinner, the dogs began bounding round excitedly. I went to investigate. There was the cheese, more than slightly nibbled, and no longer appealing at all. Bert had concealed it by lying on top of it until I forgot about the missing cheese and moved on to other things.
They quickly gobbled the last of it to hide the evidence.
Scientific studies say that the tryptophan in cheese is proven to help you sleep.
I think they’re quite pleased about that!