Don’t Isolate Yourself When the Going’s Hard

“No person, trying to take responsibility for her or his identity, should have to be so alone. There must be those among whom we can sit down and weep, and still be counted as warriors.”
~ Adrienne Rich

 

I’ve noticed a worrying phenomena lately. People are going to great lengths to make their life look incredible for social media, while behind the scenes they suffer alone and unsupported.

What happened that suddenly we can only talk up the good stuff, instead of living truthfully in the world?

As our extended family structures break down, and we become more and more remote from our neighbours and communities, we become more emotionally isolated.

We stop inviting people through the door. We stop sharing the small everyday details of our lives. Instead, we carefully curate our instagram images and facebook feeds.

There is a power to living vulnerably and being able to be open about our feelings and our lives.

Of course I advise using your intuition and discretion. Not everyone is a safe pair of hands. But with so many people stressed and overwhelmed by life, with rates of anxiety and depression and chronic illness escalating, with many of us caring for children with special needs, or single parenting or caring for elderly or ill loved ones, all of us need that extra boost that caring human connection can bring.

Image by Black-Avenger on www.deviantart.com

Image by Black-Avenger on www.deviantart.com

It can give us a powerful injection of hope or resilience to find that someone else has experienced our situation or feeling. We become less isolated. Our problem becomes more a condition of life than some shameful thing to be hidden away behind the posts of artfully photographed meals or ‘effortlessly gorgeous’ glamour outfits.

My Nana always used to tell me that a problem shared is a problem halved. As a young girl that never made much sense to me, but I can see the wisdom in it now, and I agree with that wisdom entirely.

Sometimes we genuinely do need to pull back to recalibrate our sense of centre, but please don’t isolate yourself entirely. Find ways to reach out, to ask for help, to sit in the company of others, to be able to share or smile or laugh or cry with people who welcome you into their space and allow you the freedom to feel (rather than hide) your emotions.

If you know someone who is going through a rough patch, reach out to them. Let them know that they’re not alone. Ask them if they’re okay.

We’re all in this together, and no-one’s getting out alive. Let’s all practice kindness for self and for our fellow journeymakers and make life’s journey better and more real and supported for everyone.

Sending so much love your way,

Nicole <3 xx

Join Me For A Letter Writing Challenge?

Image from imgkid.com

Image from imgkid.com

“More than kisses, letters mingle souls.”
~John Donne

“Only write to me, write to me, I love to see the hop and skip and sudden starts of your ink.”
~ A.S. Byatt, Possession

“Harry picked it up and stared at it, his heart twanging like a giant elastic band. No one, ever, in his whole life, had written to him. Who would? He had no friends, no other relatives ~  he didn’t belong to the library, so he’d never even got rude notes asking for books back. Yet here it was, a letter, addressed so plainly there could be no mistake:

Mr. H. Potter
The Cupboard under the Stairs
4 Privet Drive
Little Whinging
Surrey

~ J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

 

Hello, Lovelies!

Today I’m asking you if you’d like to join me for a letter writing challenge.

In the top drawer of my desk I have some very precious letters that have been sent to me over the years. One of them was penned by my mum, when she went into hospital to give birth to my little sister. That’s my earliest letter. I  have cards and notes from old school friends, love letters, and precious letters from my grandparents – all of whom are now deceased.

I treasure a box full of letters and cards from clients and students.

At my lowest or loneliest moments I have found solace in those scraps of paper and card. They have made me laugh, they have made me cry, and they have waltzed me down memory lane in a way no text message or email ever could.

There is also a special timber box at my farm full of letters for my Secret Dream Project – a project where I invited people to write me letters, so that I could support the space for their most secret dreams to come to fruition. I read the letters, and then programmed a crystal for each one.

2013-05-08 17.59.22

Letters can be transformative for both the writer and the reader.

Over the next six weeks, every Monday, I shall post a theme and ideas, and ask you to pen a short (or long!) letter to someone, and then pop it in the post to them.

Here’s what you’ll need:

  • Your favourite pen or writing implement
  • Writing paper, cards or postcards
  • A small crystal or stone
  • Between five and thirty minutes each week to sit down and write your letter.

Will you join me in sending some love and positive energy into the world?

If the answer is yes, write your name below or pop over to my facebook page and say hi. (Of course you can always just join in the challenge and be anonymous, but it’s so much fun to connect and join the party! – Either which way, I honour you.)

Lots of love, Nicole xx

I’m-just-a-little-pencil-in-the-hand-of-a-writing-God-sending-a-love-letter-to-the-world.―-Mother-Teresa-Quotes

Will You Join Us for the 2014 Soul Sanctuary Retreat?

Image from lockerdome

Image from lockerdome

“When we pay attention, whatever we are doing – whether it be cooking or cleaning or making love – is transformed and becomes part of our spiritual path. We begin to notice details and textures that we never noticed before; everyday life becomes clearer, sharper and at the same time more spacious.” ~ R. Fields

 

I’m holding a residential retreat from November 29 to December 5, in beautiful Byron Bay. It’s a perfect way to see out the energies of 2014, and prepare for 2015. Perhaps you’d like to join us?

The Soul Sanctuary Retreat is for women only.  A safe space for us to come together, to step into our powerful feminine energy and sisterhood. It’s a week of pamper, nurture and time for yourself. A perfect opportunity for you to rest and rejuvenate, indulge in some self-care and make the focus all about YOU!

2015 is almost here. It will be a year for building solid foundations, new patterns of behaviour and engaging, and truly living from our heart’s truth. This retreat is designed to help you get ready for that energy, so that you can truly make the most of the year ahead.

Highlights of this week-long retreat:

  • We will learn some simple meditation techniques to calm us, centre us and clear us.
  • We will give ourselves space to relax and renew.
  • We will identify our hidden (or not so hidden) addictions, so that we can address them and create a plan for moving back towards balance.
  • We will explore where we sabotage ourselves and what positive behaviours we can practice instead of the old ways that no longer serve us.
  • We will discover how to connect with, and utilise our internal energetic compass.
  • We will learn how to use the Universal Ordering System to bring ourselves back into flow and abundance.
  • We will examine shame and how it steals our power and keeps us small and limited.
  • We will work with the Power of Forgiveness, which is a hugely transformative force for good in our lives.
  • We will discover or remember our Soul Passions; using some channeled wisdoms from Nicole and her Guides, some art therapy, some spiritual work and some journaling
  • We will work with our Guides and Ancestors, learning to connect into and listen to their wisdoms and insights.
  • We will learn about creating a Spiritual Foundation of practices that can guide us, soothe us and enlighten us.
  • We will create a group Earth Healing Mandala, an individual Heart Healing Mandala, and a very special Sacred Talisman Mandala to act as our personal Spirit Map for 2015.

 

There will also be plenty of restful time for naps, swims, contemplation, friendship and personal projects. There will be time for meditation, and lots of channeled goodness with Nicole’s beautiful team. There will be time for healing, journaling, relaxing, spiritual goodness and lots of yummy organic food, lovingly created by our own personal chef, the amazing Deb Preston.

On this retreat we will be working with the energies of the waning moon, which is perfect for developing a deeper understanding of ourselves, for inner work, for soul connection and spiritual guidance.

This gentle but powerful week will help you to truly bring the focus back to yourself, and to become clear about what is important in your life. Perhaps for the first time you will be able to see clearly what matters to you, and what has been holding you back. You’ll find ways to hear the whisperings of your own heart. What you find will enable you to create a path forward that has meaning and magic to it.

2014 has been such a big year, and the energies of 2015 are vastly different. Our retreat will enable you to move into the new year refreshed, clear and ready for what comes next.

I’m so excited about this course, and we still have a few places left.

If you’d like more information please contact Dana, my wonderful PA, at info@nicolecody.com or nicolecodyinfo@gmail.com

Or drop us a note below or on our facebook page and we’ll send the details through to you.

Lots of love 🙂 Nicole xoxo

I’ll Keep This Short And Sweet

“The best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something. Don’t wait for good things to happen to you. If you go out and make some good things happen, you will fill the world with hope, you will fill yourself with hope.” 
Barack Obama

 

Not much time for blog writing today. A dear neighbour’s very elderly family member fell and broke their hip last night, so my neighbours will be spending all their time at the hospital. Emergency surgery did not go well. The final part of their beloved family member’s journey has begun.

And I have a good friend who’s ill, and trying to juggle work and family while her husband is away.

I love these people, and I want to support them, and for me the best way to do that is to cook. Some simple meals that can be easily reheated. Some treats for lunch boxes. One less thing for them to worry about, and a way for me to feel useful.

I’m still not well either, but at least this is something I can manage. So today’s agenda is cooking, napping and if I’m lucky, a little writing.

See you tomorrow, for the next Guided Meditation in our seven week series.

Lots of love and big hugs to you too! Thanks for being part of my life. 🙂 Nicole xoxo

Who’s your Support Crew in 2014?

Image of the Blue Angels Support Crew watching a flight formation - Wikimedia Commons

Image of the Blue Angels Support Crew watching a U.S. Navy diamond flight formation 1952 – Wikimedia Commons

“Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends
Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends”

~ John Lennon and Paul McCartney

Few of us get there on our own. The journey is always made easier when we have support, no matter what that journey is. So my big question to you is this:

Who is YOUR support crew in 2014?

No matter what kind of year you’re in for, we all need friends and helpful people. People who can cheer us on, offer helpful advice, pick us up when we fall, do the things we need doing but cannot do for ourselves, lend their own kind of magic to ours for that beautiful effect that multiplies our success to be greater than the sum of the parts.

I know that most of you are a lot like me…

Sensitive souls, empaths, carers, healers, kind-hearted people – we are stunningly good at putting everyone else first, and being that support which others need – being a support person is just what we’re wired to do. And if we’d had rough patches in life we’ve become good at being resilient and self-sufficient too.

All of this means that we may not be so flash at asking for favours or putting our hand up for help.

This year I’m putting up my own hand and asking for help. I’m drawing to me the best support crew I can to get me through 2014. I’m also minimising my contact with the crazy-makers and relationships that drain or sabotage me and my direction. (Want help with toxic relationships? Click here!)

Mots of us already have a support network. We may even be putting energy into supporting THEM right now. The biggest issue for many of us is that we don’t ask, or have found ourselves in the habit of having the barriers up as we steam along in that solo kind of self-sufficiency mode. Or we just plain forget that these people are here for us to draw on.

Not all of our support crew will work for love. And that’s okay too. Hiring people to support us is a great act of self-love and affirmation of self-worth. We can also access this support through books, courses and audio files.

We all need a cheer squad, and sometimes we need more tangible help. The point is – we can’t do it all alone!!!

Image of this awesome supportcrew from the South East London Ladies Swimming Club

Image of this awesome support crew from the South East London Ladies Swimming Club

Right now I have my husband and my wonderful PA, Dana, creating firewalls and boundaries in my work and personal life.

My fridge is full of nurturing soup from kind friends. Others have offered to clean my house while I’m too unwell to do this for myself.

I may not be able to get out much, but my sister and a few friends are on speed dial. I have great neighbours, and a fabulous bunch of Soul Sisters from my mentoring groups and retreats. I have all of you, dear readers, lending your support and kindness.

My Sisters of the Pen are always there for online and ‘for reals’ conversation and support for writing and life. The Queensland Writers Centre is my go-to place for continuing development of my craft.

And beyond my emotional needs I have doctors, herbalists, accountants, a good lawyer, a web designer (Hi Tim!), dentist, chiropractor, acupuncturist, an online business mentoring group, lyme boards and forums, music, libraries, bookshops and the internet. I have the Farmers Markets and some wonderful local cafes. There’s also the yellow pages for when I need a plumber, a termite expert or a tree lopper.

Of course, none of these people will be any good to me if I don’t reach out and ask!

Image by maryam

Image by maryam

2014 is shaping up to be a big year, and it’s time to start thinking about who you need on your support crew.

To help you get a better picture of what that may look like I’ve created a simple journal exercise for you!

Journalling my Web of Support

Image from akmhcweb

Image from akmhcweb

Here are some simple questions for you to think about and journal. Don’t feel that you have to answer them all today, but DO give them thought over the next few weeks.

1. Who in my family can I draw on for support, guidance, laughs or to help me lift that heavy bookcase? Remember that it’s okay to include loved ones who’ve passed over. I talk to my grandparents all the time!

2. Which friends in my life (online as well as people I’ve met in person) are supportive of me, my interests and my ambitions?

3. What do I really need to get done this year that I keep putting off?

4. Do I really need to do this myself? Who can help me with this thing? What kind of support do I need for each of those goals or tasks? Do I know someone? Can I pay someone?

5. Who can help me with my health this year?

6. Who can help me with my finances and/or business?

7. Who can help me with my spirituality and soul questing?

8. Who can I laugh with?

9. Who can I cry with?

10. Who’ll cheer me on up that mountain?

11. Music, movies and other motivators that keep me feeling good about myself and on track?

12. Habits and actions I KNOW do me good and support my journey?

I hope in some small way that I can support you too, through my blog and my facebook page. Let’s make this our best year yet – together!

Lots and lots of love,

Nicole xoxo

Image from sevenquotes

Image from sevenquotes

Kindness – Pass it on!

Image from www.myptsd.com

Image from www.myptsd.com

 

“Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.”

~ Og Mandino

I have a favour to ask of you today. It’s just a small one, but I hope you will oblige me.

Today I would ask that you take a little time from your day to gift three small kindnesses:

1) A smile to someone who needs one.

Image from kootation

Image from kootation

2) A kind word or some small thoughtful action for another.

Image from sodahead

Image from sodahead

3) A small act of kindness for yourself.

Image from www.vk.com

Image from www.vk.com

Can you imagine how our world might look if more of us practiced a little kindness for self and others?

Image from www.29gifts.org

Image from www.29gifts.org

To be a Lightworker, we need simply to spread light in the world. What better way than with kindness? Kindness lights a way in the darkest of nights. Keep shining your beautiful light in the world. Shine some of it back upon yourself.

Sending much love to you, ♥ Nicole xx

Just-one-act-of-kindness-that-you-perform

Do Not Be Friends With Mean People!

 

“It is only the great hearted who can be true friends. The mean and cowardly can never know what true friendship means.”~ Charles Kingsley

I spent some time with a little girl yesterday who is having a hard time with other girls being mean and bullying her at school.

Madeline (I changed her name here, but she’s seven and the sweetest girl you’ll meet!) is doing her best to be nice to these mean girls, and to be a friend to them. Her mum told Madeline that if she is nice long enough, eventually the girls will see what a lovely person she is and want to be her friends for real.

But the fact is this group of girls aren’t being friends back. They invite Madeline to play and then hurt her. They call her over then ignore her. They tease her and make fun of her. But they do just enough ‘playing nice’ that Madeline keeps going back, hoping that they will finally accept her and treat her with respect and kindness. To them it’s just a big game, but to Madeline it’s a defining force in her life that’s tying her up in knots and eroding her self-confidence and self-esteem.

Madeline asked what I would do.

My answer surprised her.

I said, “Stop being friends with mean people! Make friends with people who are kind and who make you smile. Friends are people you like to spend time with. If you don’t like spending time with them then it’s not a very good friendship.”

I think that’s sound advice whether you’re seven or seventy.

advice-quotes-friendship-quotes-Associate-yourself-with-people-of-good-quality-for-it-is-better-to-be-alone-than-in-bad-company.

Don’t be friends with people who are mean. It doesn’t matter whether they are classmates, work colleagues, the partners of friends, next-door-neighbours, or family. Mean people don’t respect you, your ideas, your feelings, or your possessions.

Mean people make you feel small. Mean people cause you hurt and worry, and make you feel sick in the stomach with anxiety when you have to spend time with them. Mean people make you believe you’re not good enough, or that there’s something wrong with you.

Mean people don’t know HOW to be friends. So why would you want to waste your half of a friendship on someone who can never be a friend back?

There are lots of terrific people in the world, and lots of people who could use a friend. Mean people don’t make good friends. So stop trying to win people over, or expecting them to change. If they can’t like you for who you are and treat you well, move on.

friendship-real-friends-quote-pictures-good-quotes-pics-600x364