Real Friendship

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“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” 
~ Anaïs Nin

My husband Ben, the dogs and one of Ben’s good mates went back down to our farm at the crack of dawn yesterday to check on the cattle and do some heavy farm work. They’ll work hard all weekend, eat like bachelors, leave the house in disarray and arrive back in Brisbane on Sunday night filthy, exhausted and in good spirits.

On Monday, after a final doctor’s appointment, Ben will take me home to the farm again, but for this weekend I am alone in the city.

Alone? No, that’s not quite right.

I’ve talked with my sister each day on the phone, I’ve sent and received texts and emails from friends near and far, I’ve reached out in meditation and connected to the people I care about. I’ve seen a handful of clients and given and received plenty of hugs.

Last night was spent in the company of friends. I’m not driving right now due to health problems, which makes me feel just that little bit more isolated. No matter! A friend picked me up on the dot of five o’clock and we travelled a few suburbs over to the house of another friend.

We sat in the lounge, sipped tea and trawled through the best (?) bits of B grade movies, talked Star Trek philosophy with my friend’s husband, chatted to kids and dogs, ate pizza, laughed, talked books and writing, demolished bowls of apple pie and ice-cream, laughed and talked some more, and then I was delivered safely back home to my front door (my friend waited until I’d let myself in and waved to show I was okay) and I was tucked up in bed by 8.30pm.  Another late night! 🙂

Image by 1darthvader
Image by 1darthvader

I don’t have adequate words to express what’s in my heart about real friendship. It fills the empty spaces, and leaves you satisfied and content.

Real friendship? Yes, real. Real friends understand when you’re not up to disco dancing, bright lights and mad crowds. Real friends care. When you’re with real friends you don’t have to worry about how you look, if you get parsley stuck in your teeth, spill food on your clothes, or make an embarrassing social gaffe. Real friends don’t mind if you act like a Nana, eat early dinner and are home in bed before their young children are even in their pyjamas…

Ben’s home at our farm with a real friend. The kind of friend who rang us during the floods and storms that devastated our farm earlier in the year, and drove down to lend a hand chainsawing fallen trees, carting debris and mending fences. They help each other out. They share. They laugh. They tell bad jokes. It’s a mutual exchange.

I’m home in the city with real friends looking out for me, taking me for outings, calling me to see how I am and sending messages of support and encouragement.

My real friends just let me be me. And they remind me of the best bits of myself – the bits that sometimes get overshadowed by illness, fatigue or despair.

I’d rather have a handful of real friends than an army of casual acquaintances, party friends and ‘friends’ who only call you when they want something.

Today, I’m giving thanks for the gift that is friendship, and wishing that same gift for you. Bless  ♥ xx


Hi! I'm Nicole Cody. I am a writer, psychic, metaphysical teacher and organic farmer. I love to read, cook, walk on the beach, dance in the rain and grow things. Sometimes, to entertain my cows, I dance in my gumboots. Gumboot dancing is very under-rated.
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13 thoughts on “Real Friendship

  1. Once I had a discussion with my therapist — is that a line out of Seinfeld, or what 🙂 — about friendship and she said that she actually has very few friends, which I couldn’t believe because she is so friendly. Then she said that she knows a lot of people, but she considers being called a friend to be truly an honor, not a title to be given away casually. I think about that conversation a lot and now, I am a lot more careful about how I use the word.

    Sounds like you and Ben are surrounded by very good friends, which is wonderful.

    And (nerd alert!) you can talk Trek philosophy with me anytime 🙂

    pe’vIlmu’qaDmeytIbach, Nicole! (Which should mean, “Curse well, Nicole!” in Klingon, but is probably something even ruder and dirtier . . .)

  2. You are so lucky to have friends like that!!!I don’t as ive been taken advantage of so many times in the past,even by my own brother and sister!!there is no contact with them not of my doing.Oh well life goes on.Good luck with your health.x

  3. oh you’re so right, real friends talk star trek philosophy and are cool to hang out with you in your pjs! celebrating all lovely friends and the range of all the beautiful relationships in our lives, for me each one has a lesson and purpose, i just need to discern the difference. hugs sx

    1. That’s the key, isn’t it? Discernment. And I would still rather be a good friend and have the friendship fail, than not try. Some people truly haven’t learned yet what friendship is all about. I guess we can at least try to show them before we walk away. And some relationships really are best walked away from.
      So glad for my friends, and I count you among them xoxoxo

  4. Great Post!

    I’m glad you have such people in your life, especially during a time where you especially needed them. Isn’t it remarkable though how much of a difference there is between real friends and any others? I made the mistake of calling people friends when they should have been classified as being merely acquaintances.

    My error in judgment resulted in me being left holding the bag when it came down to it; alone and without any dependable safety like the ones your post just described. Let’s just say that’s a mistake you don’t wanna make twice in your life.

    Heres to a speedy recovery with your health problems!

    1. I really feel for you, Sammy. It’s hard to find out that people you thought were friends, aren’t!

      I think we have all made the mistake of categorising social acquaintances as friends. And of being loyal and good friends to people who don’t value what that means.

      I hope you have some good people in your life now. And thanks for your well wishes for my health. I’m sure all this positive energy is contributing to my recovery.
      {{{HUGS}}} Nicole xx

    2. Haha, the positivity i offer freely and sincerely to others. No sorry necessary, at least I don’t feel bad for myself about it; at least not anymore.

      It was a necessary and valuable lesson that taught me to cut any dead weight from my life and to better appreciate those who are there for the right reasons and to keep them there.

      Kinda funny how when you figure that one out, it feels like your life gets a whole lot fuller….

      I feel like I was lucky really. I think id look at the version of me who went through life without having learned it, or even my younger self like he was kinda a douche bag.

  5. I already have that “gift” in three good friends, one of whom truly warms my heart on a daily basis….and it is nice to hear, Nicole, that you have that as well!

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