Not where I’d expected to be…

I keep trying to write a post, and nothing comes out right.

I keep trying to explain what’s in my heart and there are no words.  But that’s okay.  Words will come later.

I’m standing at the wheel of life, watching it turn, and knowing it will keep on turning. Nothing I can do to slow it down.  Nothing I can do to change that.

Today I’m watching someone I love labour through each breath. It’s down to counting every breath. These might be the last breaths.  The last moments. So for today, nothing else matters.

Today is about holding hands, revisiting old memories and happy times, thinking about the preciousness of life, and how love builds bridges that can connect us all.

No time for being anywhere but in the moment…    ♥

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41 thoughts on “Not where I’d expected to be…

  1. Nicole my heart is with you, your words brought back the last day of my father’s life while I sat and watched him struggle for that breath. The blessing is that you are there to share in this special, if painful time. You have such beautiful memories to hold onto. Sending you light love and hugs blessings May your Nana be at peace. xxoo

  2. Holding your hand from here Nicole…no distance, space or time…simply holding
    Much love to you and your family ((( Hug )))

  3. There are no words but there are so many people that love you and are thinking of you and your Nan and your family, sending love and light and comfort xoxo

  4. How very special to be with your Nan at the end of her time on earth. It is not easy, but it is the nicest thing you can do for her to hold her hand and send her away with love. Blessings, strength and much love to you to help you through. You can do it, Nicole. xxx

  5. After the sadness of her last breath on Earth comes the joy she and other loved ones will know when reunited on that other beautiful side. A beautiful gift you give to help your Nana take the big step… Even with the heavy heart you carry inside right now. Love, light and comfort to you all. Bless xxx

  6. Dear Nicole it is a very sad time for you to watch your Nana that you love dearly struggling for each breath as she lay dying. You bring such love and comfort by being there to hold your Nana’s hand talking to her and helping her to let go. At the end of our life that’s all anyone really ever wants is to be loved and allowed to go. Sending you much love, peace and acceptance. xxx

  7. You and your Nan have been very prominent in my thoughts and feelings since yesterday Nic. It’s time to whisper the words “know that you are loved” (and I know you do) that you use to comfort others, how lovely it is that you have such a universal community to support you.
    Peace, love & light
    Annette xxx

  8. Dear Nicole, my heart is with you. Both birth and death are such profoundly moving times. To remain present to that intense level of our feelings, humaness and connectedness is beyond words. Much love Nikki 🙂

  9. Dear beautiful, NIcole sending you much love at this time. This was me when my mum passed, holding her hand, she couldn’t talk to me but I knew she could hear me. So I soothed her with words of love and helped her with her struggle with pain and fear to move on. While it was traumatic, I also acknowledge it was a gift. (I know you know this) I’m so glad you are taking this time to live in the moment of being with your Nan – Love and light to you, precious and call me if there is anything I can do. Love you ♥

  10. Dear Nicole
    No mere words of mine can really express my heartfelt sorrow for you at tha time. My thoughts and prayers are with you , your family and your beloved Nan throughout this time. We miss those most whom we love so well. Showers of blessings, live and prayers. Susan x

  11. Dear Nicole
    No mere words of mine can really express my heartfelt sorrow for you at tha time. My thoughts and prayers are with you , your family and your beloved Nan throughout this time. We miss those most whom we love so well. Showers of blessings, love and prayers. Susan x

  12. BE completely in this very precious moment. I know how it feels and what a great blessing these moments are with a loved one…for both of you., My thoughts and prayers are with you both at this time.
    Much love and light
    Jane

  13. Your loved one is standing on the edge of forever. it doesn’t get more beautiful than that. May the discomfort pass quickly though. Much love to them, and to you too.

  14. Sending you and your Nanna more love than you could know. I lost my beautiful Nanna while I was pregnant with my first baby…It was SOOO hard, but I feel her with me ALL the time <3 Bless you and your Nanna. They are so special… <3 Xx

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