How To Live With Pain…

“I DON’T CARE!” Harry yelled at them, snatching up a lunascope and throwing it into the fireplace. “I’VE HAD ENOUGH, I’VE SEEN ENOUGH, I WANT OUT, I WANT IT TO END, I DON’T CARE ANYMORE!”“You do care,” said Dumbledore. He had not flinched or made a single move to stop Harry demolishing his office. His […]

It’s Not Normal To Be Happy All The Time

“Emotions, in my experience, aren’t covered by single words. I don’t believe in “sadness,” “joy,” or “regret.” Maybe the best proof that the language is patriarchal is that it oversimplifies feeling. I’d like to have at my disposal complicated hybrid emotions, Germanic train-car constructions like, say, “the happiness that attends disaster.” Or: “the disappointment of […]

A Little Nicole Update

“People who want a cure, provided they can have it without pain, are like those who favour progress, provided they can have it without change.” ~ Anthony de Mello   So, here I am, still in hospital. There have been a few little bumps in the road, including a massive resurgence of lyme symptoms and […]

Lyme Eyes, Magic Eyes

“The eye through which I see God is the same eye through which God sees me; my eye and God’s eye are one eye, one seeing, one knowing, one love.” ~ Meister Eckhart, Sermons of Meister Eckhart   If you’ve read my blog for a while you’ll know: a) that I have Lyme disease b) that […]

Talking to Dragons

“Always speak politely to an enraged dragon.” ~ Steven Brust, Jhereg   It’s after 3am. An odd time to be posting a blog. Still. I’m wide awake. I might as well stay up now so that I can do my morning meditate soon, as is my daily practice. It’s been one of those nights. The […]

Lit up like a Lyme Green Christmas Tree

“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching, Love like you’ll never be hurt, Sing like there’s nobody listening, And live like it’s heaven on earth.” ~ William W. Purkey   Well, you know by now that when I’m quiet there’s a good reason. This time? My doctor recommended a new combination of Lyme drugs. Result? […]

And then the Storm…

“Another secret of the universe: Sometimes pain was like a storm that came out of nowhere. The clearest summer could end in a downpour. Could end in lightning and thunder.” ~ Benjamin Alire Sáenz   Sunday was Drug Number Four Day in my current Lyme medication regime. Today is, too. Ever the optimist, I had […]

Attack of the Gorn

“Of all the things we can feel with our minds and bodies, severe pain is the purest, for it drives everything else from our awareness and focuses us as perfectly as we can ever be focused.” ~ Dean Koontz   There is this thing that happens to me on my current Lyme drugs. It started in […]

The ‘No Blog’ Blog…

“Sometimes even the mind’s greatest resolve is not enough to conquer the body’s own particular requirements. ~ Nicole Cody Sorry, Lovelies. No blog today. Can’t get out of bed, nor lift my head and everything hurts. Agonisingly so. Thank goodness for my iPad. Still, I am steadfast in walking this path and in my mind […]

Well, that was a bit premature…

“Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in mind.”  ~ David G. Allen I was kind of hoping to be sleeping right now. It’s 2am, and I was only fretfully sleeping at best between 8 and 11pm. Now I’m wide awake and I know the […]

Sorry, I didn’t Blog!

“My head aches, my eyes burn, my arms and legs have given up, and my face in the mirror has a grayish cast. The bed, across the room, calls in its unmistakable lover’s croon, Come to me, come, only I can make you truly happy, oh, how happy I’ll make you, don’t resist, remember how […]

Taking a Dose of my Own Medicine

“Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.” ~ Lord Byron It’s ironic that the day after posting about my progress yesterday I found myself back in herxing land. Herxing is a side effect of the lyme bacteria inside me dying off and releasing their toxins as a parting gift. I haven’t felt this dreadful […]

She’ll be Apples…

“Bean finds the best apple in our tree and hands it up to me. “You know what this tastes like when you first bite into it?” she asks.  “No, what?”  “Blue sky.”  “You’re zoomed.”  “You ever eat blue sky?” “No,” I admit.  “Try it sometime,” she says. “It’s apple-flavored.”  ~ Rodman Philbrick, The Last Book in the […]

Stormclouds, Music and Melancholy

“When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”  ~ Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore   The air is tinged with cold and that strange electricity that comes before a storm. I am watching from my upstairs bedroom, stuck in the city and […]

It’s Lyme Time!

“What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can’t move, with no hope of rescue? Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn’t been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances […]

The Patient should be Sleeping

“It is an awful thing to be betrayed by your body. And it’s lonely, because you feel you can’t talk about it. You feel it’s something between you and the body. You feel it’s a battle you will never win . . . and yet you fight it day after day, and it wears you […]

Lyme Schlyme!

“I keep sailing on in this middle passage. I am sailing into the wind and the dark. But I am doing my best to keep my boat steady and my sails full.”  ~ Arthur Ashe The past few days have not been among my best. Physically I’ve struggled. It started earlier this week, of course, […]

‘Mum’s sleeping!’ by Guest Bloggers Bert & Harry

“Sleep is the best meditation.” ~ Dalai Lama Mum’s sleeping.  But she hates to miss posting her blog, so we are writing one for her.  We’ve had enough of napping! There is a pesky lizard that keeps swimming in our water bowl.  This is a picture of him. A naughty bird keeps stealing our biscuits.  Here […]

Soundtrack to Pain

“One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.”~ Bob Marley Music saved my life earlier this week. Music and drugs. Those of you who follow my blog will know that I am suffering from end-stage Lyme disease. I’ve recently embarked on a protocol of high dose antibiotics, antibacterials, herbs and […]

Life, blurred.

“I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.” ~ Jack Kerouac Sometimes, life gets smudged around the edges and my crisp lines fuzzle into fluffy lumps of something but I haven’t got the word for it. No words is hard for a writer. Or when you forget the shape of things or what her […]

Howling at the Moon

 Those are the same stars, and that is the same moon, that look down upon your brothers and sisters, and which they see as they look up to them, though they are ever so far away from us, and each other. ~ Sojourner Truth It’s 2 o’clock in the morning and I’m wide awake; fretful […]

Living in the Lyme Light…

“Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.” ~ Helen Keller (June, 1880 – June, 1968) I’d love to be blogging something wonderful for you, and indeed that was my intention – I’ve got so much good stuff planned – but the past few days I’ve been […]

Vomiting in Public Places OR The Controversial ‘Vomit Post’

“Girls blush, sometimes, because they are alive, half wishing they were dead to save the shame. The sudden blush devours them, neck and brow; They have drawn too near the fire of life, like gnats, and flare up bodily, wings and all. What then? Who’s sorry for a gnat or girl?” ~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning […]

My Left Eyeball…

“What does not kill me, makes me stronger.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche I had intended a different post for this morning, but I have an eyeball problem. I’ve been on my Lyme drugs, well the first of them anyway, for a month now, and they are doing strange things to me. All night, apart from the ‘normal’ […]

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