Soul Awakening Activities for The New Moon Partial Eclipse in Leo

“If you chase anything in life chase the things that get you excited about living. Chase the things that give you hope, happiness and a glimpse of a better life. Chase the things that make you want to be a better person. Chase the things that inspire you to think, create and live joyfully. Chase the things that reinforce in your soul that you can make a difference. Chase the things that make you want to transform your heart from selfish to selfless. When you chase that kind of storm you are chasing rainbows.” 
Shannon L. Alder

 

I’m on retreat right now, here in beautiful Byron Bay with my Accelerated Channelling and Sacred Geometry group. I always time my retreats so that the participants will be supported by the surrounding astrological energies, and this retreat is spectacular for personal transformation and psychic connection.

Would you like to learn how you can harness these same energies to progress your spiritual path at home?

We’ll be working with the energies of this New Moon and the Partial Solar Eclipse today, and I thought you might like to use this time to go deeper with your own spiritual work.

The partial Solar Eclipse today (Saturday) boosts the energies of the New Moon in Leo, and heralds new beginnings and major shifts for us, both personally and spiritually. It coincides with the yearly period known as the Lion’s Gate – a portal which opens on the 8th of August every year – an 8:8 event – and which continues until August 12. During the Lion’s Gate portal it is possible to greatly raise your own vibration, and elevate the consciousness of humanity.

It’s a great time to get clarity around your life direction, and for finding answers to questions and problems that have kept you stuck up until now. This eclipse also falls on an 11 day on an 11 year (2018 adds up to 11) which creates what is known as an 11:11 Gateway. This is a time where many will receive a spiritual calling, or where events will come together to help you to achieve profound emotional healing.

Here are some simple activities you can do in the next few days to enhance your intuitive connection and psychic ability, and to clarify your life direction:

Who Am I?

This activity opens you to your own soul wisdom as well as Universal wisdom. It can help to show you who you are now, and who you have the potential of becoming. Don’t judge anything that comes to you. Write it all down!

Image from yogadigest.com

Directions: Sit comfortably with your hands in the Anjali Mudra (prayer position) so that your hands are in front of your heart and your eyes are gazing straight ahead. You can close your eyes if you want. (Note: If you also want to work with a crystal for this meditation hold the stone in your cupped hands first, energise it with light, the place it on your lap or on the ground in front of you or under your chair – then sit in the prayer position) Breathe deeply, relax your body and then ask Who Am I? Wait for any words, images or impressions to appear. Then open your eyes and begin to answer this question in your journal. You might want to do this a few times in the next few days, as each time you do this you will be able to go deeper and into more detail.

Using Cards for Clarification:

Choose an oracle or tarot deck that is meaningful to you. Shuffle the cards and then choose three, placing them face down in front of you. Once again sit in Anjali Mudra (prayer position), calm your mind and ask Who am I? When you are ready open your eyes and begin to work with the cards.

Image by Mysterious Lass at deviantart.com

Turn over the first card – This shows you who you have been, in the past for this current life, or perhaps even from previous lives. Write down what comes to you in your journal.

Turn over the second card – This shows you who you are right now, including strengths and limitations. Write down what comes to you in your journal.

Turn over the third card – This shows you who you can become, or what you can rise above for this current life. Write down what comes to you in your journal.

Reflection Exercise for Life Clarity: Leave the journal for a while. An hour perhaps, or longer. Whatever feels right to you. Then come back and read what you have written. Look for the words that resonate, and for anything that provides inspiration or direction.

Now write again, this time listing your intentions for this lifetime. Who do you want to be? What do you want to contribute, create, have or experience? How will you do this? Trust that whatever is in your heart is possible!

Enjoy this time of connection and reflection. You’re in our hearts, prayers and meditations, and we wish you well.
Much love, Nicole ❤ xx

Image from www.weresoinspired.com

Are you feeling called to explore your Spiritual and Intuitive side?

“Spirituality is not adopting more beliefs and assumptions but uncovering the best in you.” 
~  Amit Ray

“Your soul knows the geography of your destiny. Your soul alone has the map of your future, therefore you can trust this indirect, oblique side of yourself. If you do, it will take you where you need to go, but more important it will teach you a kindness of rhythm in your journey.” 
~ John O’Donohue

 

Byron Bay Residential Retreat – 6 to 11 March 2018

Ever wondered what it means to be spiritual? Curious about spirituality but have no idea where to start?  You’ve recently discovered Angels and oracle cards but don’t know what that means or what to do next?  Stuck in life?  Wondering why you are here?  Think you might be psychic but aren’t sure?  Had a love of spiritual practice, but feel like you’ve lost your way?  Are in need of some nurturing and guidance? Feel like you are going through some kind of psychic or spiritual awakening?

If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions then we have just the course for you!

Join us as we begin our journey in this new energetic age. The old ways are slow ways, and no longer well suited to the quickening energies of this dawning era. You will have felt the turbulence and quickening of these Universal energies. You’ll feel a resonance and a readiness for this next stage, and for being an important part of the process which will unfold this new era. You will be ready to walk a more spiritual path, and to find the comfort this connection brings.

This Retreat will tune you up to these new energies, and actively accelerate your personal and spiritual development. During our time together I will be immersing you in a spiritual and energetic world where you will connect with your own gifts, and be given exercises and activities for your current level of ability, and which are tailored to your specific energetic skillset. There will be time on this retreat for you to seek clarification and guidance with me too, about your spiritual practice, your next steps in life, and your path of service to others.

My retreats are much more than just a learning environment.  They are a safe place for your Soul to evolve.  They are a coming together of like-minded people for sharing and connection, and they are a journey that will accelerate your understanding of and love for yourself and your place in the world.

Want to watch a short documentary about my retreats? Go here.

Highlights:

  • 6 weeks of metaphysical mentoring and guidance through our own online course and private forum
  • a 6 day residential retreat with Nicole and her team in the gorgeous Byron Bay region of Northern New South Wales, Australia
  • become balanced, connected and enlightened during our time together
  • allow us to support and mentor you every step of the way and be in the company of people who will become great friends over the course of our time together
  • connect you to your guides and angels
  • learn meditation and healing techniques
  • receive personalised coaching where necessary
  • indulge in local organic produce with our delicious bespoke catering
  • everyone is welcome to apply, no matter how much of a beginner you feel, or how long it has been since you have had a regular spiritual practice you will find what you need on this retreat
  • Payment plans are always available
  • Discounts available to all YOM members and previous retreat participants

Interested?  Contact us at nicolecodyinfo@gmail.com for more information and an Expressions of Interest form.  We look forward to hearing from you!

What Previous Participants Have Said:

‘Words can not express how amazing Nicole Cody retreats are. They really do have to be experienced. This changed my life and I really appreciate the time and effort that Nicole and Dana PA put in. So much wisdom and love surrounds Nicole – I took advantage of the payment plan – so I would highly recommend going along. I made so many lovely friends and had many breakthroughs.’ – Amanda C.

 If anybody is on the fence and wondering if they can actually invest money 💰 in themselves to do this retreat 🌈 I have to tell you what ever it takes if this retreat is calling you do the things you need to to make it happen 🌸 I have attended 3 of Nicole’s courses since I discovered her blog 💫And yes life changing 🦋
I have also met so many wonderful people and you will hear the phrase “finding my tribe” thrown around a lot 🌿
You will never regret going to Beautiful Byron for a life challenging and changing experience 🌷 – Beka L

 I’ll second those sentiments too. I went on a retreat 2 years ago and was so anxious but once I got there and met everyone, I was made to feel really welcome and cherished. Nothing was too much trouble and when I was ” stuck” there was plenty of support from some wonderful people. (Plus the food was awesome) – Mary P

And from my wonderful PA, Dana:

If you have ever wanted to attend a retreat with Nicole but felt you weren’t experienced enough, or that the retreat sounded a bit scary (because channelling and other things we do aren’t for everyone!), then our March “Spiritual Awakening” retreat is perfect for you! It is a very gentle beginners retreat. I cannot put into words how well Nicole, her guides, the food and the environment will nurture and support you.
As booking forms have started to come in, I also wanted to remind you that we can work out a payment plan for you based on what works for you. Unfortunately our suppliers are putting up their prices, so this is the last time we’ll be able to offer this retreat at this price. So please don’t let money be the reason why you don’t join us. Places are starting to fill, so get in touch before we sell out!
Love and hugs to you all, Dana

How to use Intuition to Access Your Psychic Abilities

“Cease trying to work everything out with your minds. It will get you nowhere. Live by intuition and inspiration and let your whole life be Revelation.”
Eileen Caddy

 

 

We all have intuitive abilities – intuition is a glorious part of our human condition.  Problem is, most of us don’t know how to use it.

Today I’m going to take myself right back to the beginning. I’ll share with you some of the stronger intuitive moments I had before I began to really work with my psychic abilities.  I hope that by sharing them, you’ll be better able to recognise these moments in your own lives.  These aren’t fancy or sophisticated.  These are raw moments that led me to a different decision, understanding or action than if I’d just been coming from my head.

The more you listen to your intuition, the more your body attunes to those messages. It begins to heighten your sensitivity. This then begins to develop your extraordinary sensory perception (ESP) and opens the door to your psychic capabilities. All of the small messages to which we pay attention pave the way for the stronger and more important messages to come.

Intuition and gut instinct communicate with us in so many ways. You might get a flash of strong emotion, an image or a movie in your head, a feeling in your body, a sense of deja vu.  You might have an incredibly vivid dream, or a waking dream. Or, you might just know…

Here are some of my own experiences, as a guide for you.

Some of them weren’t about positive things:

In primary school I woke up in the middle of the night because something was wrong.  I could smell smoke, and I felt very anxious. I padded through the house in my pyjamas, but everyone was asleep and everything was as it should be. I climbed back into bed and all I could think about was a girl I knew at school. I wondered if she was angry with me.  The next morning I found out that her house had burned down in the middle of the night.  They were all okay. And their house was too far away from mine for me to have heard a siren or to have smelled anything.  They lost everything.

Image by Martin van Rensburg.

Early in high school, I had a creepy feeling about a family friend. While everyone else liked him, he made me incredibly uneasy. To me his eyes looked ‘too bright’ – like a bird’s eyes’s somehow, always watching, and watching too intensely. Although I couldn’t explain it, I felt very unsafe around him, and I felt that he was full of secrets. Nothing could convince me that he was a nice guy. I could ‘feel’ a wrongness about him somehow.  One day when I was left at home alone with him (he was working as a tradesman and I was home sick from school) he tried to sexually assault me. Mum came home unexpectedly, and I made sure after that to never be around him alone.  Years later, he went to prison – convicted of serial pedophilia and child pornography crimes, mostly against very young boys.

During a university break, a friend asked me to travel north to pick up a car she had just purchased.  We would drive it home together, stopping at beaches and interesting places along the way. Initially I said yes. It sounded like fun. But then everything seemed to conspire against me. I couldn’t get time off from work, I got food poisoning, one of my grandparents went to hospital. Nothing was working in my favour. I ended up saying no, but instead of feeling bad, I was flooded with this strange sense of relief. About two days after she left for her journey I got this metallic taste in my mouth, and I could smell something like hot brakes on a car.  Then I had a tumbling sensation, like being on one of those wild rides at a sideshow.  It came and went for about a week, and I found it distressing, but I had no idea what it was all about. Then it just stopped.  A few days later my friend’s parents called to me she had rolled her car on a dirt road heading down  a hill to a remote beach, and been badly injured. She spent months in hospital.


Some of my intuitive experiences have also been about very positive things:

At primary school I sat an examination to win a scholarship to one of Brisbane’s private high schools. Part of the examination required us to write creatively using one of a range of sentences as a starter. The words poured out of me and I just knew they were good. Although I felt unsure about my performance with the rest of the long examination, I was sure about that essay.  I knew it would win me a scholarship.  I felt a great certainty. The day that the letter came, I also knew. I just knew something really good was about to happen.  I felt light and happy all day.  When I came home mum had bought a cake and my grandparents had bought me a posy of flowers. My letter of offer was propped up on the kitchen table beside them. I’d won.

Image from calypsoflowers.com.au

One day I was invited to a costume party.  I had no costume, and no idea where to get one from. I had to drive across town to meet a friend, and for some reason I decided not to take the freeway.  As I drove through a particular suburb, I decided for some inexplicable reason to turn right off the main road.  There in front of me was a massive costume hire place. I felt so very clever! And I found an awesome pirate outfit…

Image from gumtree.com

Many of you will already know this story, and it has happened long after I began working with my psychic gifts.  But it shows you how my intuition is still guiding me, even when my mind is somewhere else.  I was shopping, late one scorchingly hot summer afternoon, and I heard a sound like a peeping chicken in the shopping centre carpark. I couldn’t ignore it.  I was compelled to go and investigate, although I needed to get home because I had plans I’d been looking forward to all day. Something made me get out of the car, and go looking for the chicken. Of course it wasn’t a chicken – instead I found a tiny puppy, almost dead from heat and dehydration. I brought him home, and took him to the vet, who didn’t hold out much hope that he would survive the night. He proved everyone wrong, and Bert became a wonderful member of our family.

Beautiful Bert!

All you ever have to do with your intuition is listen, and go with what you are feeling or being shown. The more you use it, the easier it gets.  Intuition becomes stronger. Your senses become attuned to more of the flow of Universal wisdom and energy. We are all intuitive. That is our birthright. Like me, sometimes in life, for no apparent reason, you’ll just know.

Often, as people move into a space of psychic awakening, their daily lives becomes a constant stream of intuitive thoughts and experiences. This can be very confronting or disruptive but it settles down quickly the more that you honour and accept this intuitive aspect of yourself.

How about you? What has happened for you in your life that was guided by intuition? I’d love to know!

Much love to you, Nicole xx

Psychic Connection and Soul Mates – Monday Oracle 3 April 2017

“It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.”
~ John Joseph Powell

 

Hello, Lovelies!

Here’s the oracle card I have chosen this Monday, and my take on the energetic outlook for the week ahead. I use any oracle or tarot cards shown as a prompt for channelled messages and my own intuitive wisdom, so my take is sometimes quite different to the meaning found in a book. ‘Soulmate’ is from the Chakra Wisdom Oracle Deck by Tori Hartman.

If you read my forecast for April, you’ll remember that April is all about the mind, our thoughts and self-talk. It’s a month for untangling old not-good-enough stories as we identify what’s working, what’s broken and where to from here.

So, what gifts does Soulmate bring for you this week?

It’s a card about connection, wisdom and tuning in.

This card gently reminds us that our head holds our mind as well as our Third Eye and Crown Chakras. Our mind is a lot like a computer. We exist as consciousness outside of our mind. Our mind does not define who we are – our mind is merely a tool and a governing agent for our body and systems.

We are not just our minds. We are also our emotions. We are also our experiences. We are also our intuition. We are souls having human experiences. Our Crown and Third Eye Chakras are gateways for Universal Flow. We are so much more than just our minds. And EVERYONE is made this way.

This is a big week for intuition and spiritual awareness. It’s a week where inspiration will come, where dreams will hold answers, where spiritual and psychic connection will happen easily and well.

Most importantly it’s a week where your soul and your own inner wisdom will help you to use your mind positively and productively. This week you can reach deep levels of awareness and understanding.

And those of you who were hoping that this was a post about FINALLY finding your true love?

Well, you can use your mind and your intuition to get clear about what you want in a relationship and then draw that to you. Don’t know how? I’ve created a range of activities and a guided meditation that you can use to guide you here.

It’s also a great week for falling in love! <3

Supportive crystals this week?

Snowflake Obsidian will help to remove old negative self-talk and replace it with optimism. Selenite will help you to connect into your guides, angels and psychic ability. Amethyst will truly boost your intuitive abilities and help you on your spiritual path.  Rose Quartz if you’re ready to attract love.

Helpful essential oils? 

Young Living’s Envision essential oil blend, or a combination (or singly!) of any of Geranium, Spruce, Ylang Ylang and Frankincense. Envision oil is one of the oils I use with my students when I teach my intuition and channelling classes. It calms your mind and opens your awareness – and it smells so good! It’s a combination of spruce, orange, sage, geranium, lavender and rose. Just brilliant for connecting heart and mind, and for gently opening you to your psychic capabilities It’s my oil of choice in my diffuser this week. You can find all the oils here.

Holding you, as always, in my thoughts, prayers and meditations, and intending for a you a life of abundance and joy, where you are no longer limited by your doubts.

All my love,

Nicole ❤ xx

Image from ruthking.net

Acceptance – A Short Documentary about Owning Who You Are

2016-07-20-14-31-49

“The things that make me different are the things that make me.”  ~ A.A. Milne

“You are always welcome at my table.” ~ Nicole Cody

 

Last year I invited my friend Kerry Warnholtz to come spend some time with me as I prepared for and then ran my Chakra Wisdoms retreat.

Kerry is a talented photographer and videographer who sees the world through soulful and ever-watchful eyes. I hoped that she might be able to capture some footage and a few stills for my new website. My brief to her was that I wanted her to somehow show the love and care I put into each event that I run, and how precious each of my students is to me – how much I take that teaching and mentoring responsibility into my heart.

Kerry didn’t just capture that – she captured me – a little snapshot into my life, and the struggles I have had in coming to a place of self-acceptance. This short film speaks a lot to my WHY – why I do what I do – and I thought many of you might relate to the struggles I had in my earlier life to accept myself as I am.

What I want you to know, more than anything, is that I believe in you and that I want you to be who you are and be true to yourself. Being you is the most important thing you can do, and it’s time. The world needs us to stop pretending to be who we are not or to represent ourselves in the world as less than we are. It’s time to embrace ourselves and each other in all of our glorious diversity and similarity.

So, watch this little documentary. Come meet me at my farm, and in my life, and know that you are always welcome at my table.

You are among friends here.

Thanks for sharing the journey with me,

Nicole <3 xx

 

PS – If you want to see more of Kerry’s wonderful work you can find her at www.tsi-multimedia.com

10 Signs You are Experiencing a Psychic Awakening

Image from www.wall321.com

Image from www.wall321.com

“I suspect everybody has a degree of psychic ability, just as a everybody has a degree of athletic or artistic ability. Some people have special gifts; other people have a particular interest that leads them to develop their abilities. But the phenomenon itself is ordinary and widespread.” 
~ Michael Crichton, Travels

 

There’s a difference between ‘spiritual awareness’ and full on ‘psychic awakening’. Spiritual awareness happens when we begin to understand that there is more to the Universe than meets the eye. This may be commonly expressed by such things as asking the Angels to find you an excellent parking spot right out the front of a crowded supermarket. Psychic awakening is a crazy ride, where your psychic and intuitive awareness becomes hyper-stimulated and hyper-alert, and where you cannot control how or when that happens.

Spiritual awareness leads to an opening of our hearts and to a period of personal and spiritual growth.

Psychic awakening leads to a path of service.

It can be unbearably uncomfortable and scary. But it does get easier. Here are ten signs that what you’re experiencing is an awakening of your psychic abilities:

1. Crowds become overwhelming, distressing and make you feel psychically battered and energetically drained.

2. Your dreams become increasing vivid and seem to contain messages, information and symbols that go beyond what your normal subconscious would put on the nightly view-screen of the inside of your eyelids. You remember these dreams, and keep thinking about them during the day, trying to work out what they mean.

Image from Wilde Life

Image from Wilde Life

3. You become confused at what people tell you, when part of you knows that the words they are saying don’t match their emotions, inner thoughts or energy. You can’t put it into words, but you feel that conflict and find it disturbing. You have no way to prove what you feel.

Image from Finance Fox

Image from Finance Fox

4. You get feelings of heat in your palms and fingers, your feet, around your heart, on your forehead around your third eye chakra, or in the top of your head. You may also get a sensation of moving energy or tingling.

Image from Can Stock Photo

Image from Can Stock Photo

5. Your sleep becomes disturbed. You wake up at 2am, wide awake and waiting for something. But what? Weirdly, by about 4am you can get back to sleep again, and you don’t become tired from this crazy routine.

Image from dinfo

Image from dinfo

6. You become suddenly attracted to crystals, healing arts and metaphysical tools. You may feel energy in stones, places or people, or access impressions or information if you touch a person or an object.

Image from groupon

Image from groupon

7. You get a fullness or a choking sensation in your throat (or throat chakra) like something is stuck there, or you want to speak, but there isn’t anything you can think of to say.

Image from WattPad

Image from WattPad

8. Electro-magnetic energy, wi-fi and electrical fields make you feel fuzzy, off-balance or exhausted. You feel immediately better in nature, or out of cities.

Image from BiPlane

Image from BiPlane

9. Your sense of deja vu increases, and you experience moments of having been somewhere before, reliving a conversation or performing an activity again, even if it really is the first time you have experienced this thing.

Image from asusta2

Image from asusta2

10. You know things about people or situations that prove to be correct, even though there is no way you could have consciously known about those things.

Image from Flow Of My Soul

Image from Flow Of My Soul

If this sounds like you, please don’t feel that there is something wrong with you, or that you are going crazy. Intuitive ability and psychic awakening is a normal part of our soul’s development. Modern western culture may no longer recognise the path you are taking, but it is very real, and you are not alone in this journey.

Trust that your time is now, and that you are very much needed in the world. Know that there is a place for you here in my tribe, and that I value you and all you are experiencing.

Bless Nicole xoxo

Image from imgfave

Image from imgfave

Circle in the Dust

Seven Sisters by Maggi Yilpi

Seven Sisters by Maggi Yilpi

“There were once two sisters
who were not afraid of the dark
because the dark was full of the other’s voice
across the room,
because even when the night was thick
and starless
they walked home together from the river
seeing who could last the longest
without turning on her flashlight,
not afraid
because sometimes in the pitch of night
they’d lie on their backs
in the middle of the path
and look up until the stars came back
and when they did,
they’d reach their arms up to touch them
and did.” 
~ Jandy Nelson, The Sky Is Everywhere

The next installment of my Kimberley Story

Have you ever totally underestimated the importance of something?

I know I have.

Sitting in a circle in the dust of the Kimberley with a bunch of old Aboriginal women was one of those times.

It’s laughable now, my ignorance. Some of those women were probably around the age I am today, but back then, with the arrogance of youth, to me they were all old. My Mum’s age at least for the youngest. Although Auntie and Grandmother were the age of my own grandparents. Or older.

The day after Little Auntie died is such an important day for me. Why didn’t I see it then?

While it was still early in the morning we walked out from the house, those women and I, and into the scrub. Behind us I could hear the wails of the rest of the women left grieving. I was sick with not belonging. Sick with a physical discomfort and a spiritual unrest. Why had I come? Why was I doing this?

But it was as if something in my soul compelled me. I can’t explain it any better than that.

On we walked until we’d left the township behind. We walked, and then we walked some more. Every so often one of the women would stop, and so we would all stop. She would regard a bird, a tree, some marks on the sandy ground. She might pull some leaves from a shrub.

Suddenly, for no apparent reason, and in what seemed to me to be no particular spot, they sat down.

Auntie and another lady built a small fire. Other women broke branches from scrawny trees.

Every so often one of them would throw a pile of green leaves onto the flickering flames in our midst, sending up fragrant clouds of smoke.  From where I sat, most of it blew my way. My eyes watered. I sneezed. I didn’t know what to do, and no-one said anything to me so I simply sat there. One of them brushed me all over with a clump of green leaves which were then thrown into the fire too. From time to time the women sang, or made strange guttural noises. I was a little frightened by those noises. They were totally foreign to me, and made the hair on the back of my arms stand up.

Eventually the smoke died down, and no more leaves were added. My streaming eyes dried.

There had been singing, but now we were just sitting. We’d been sitting for hours, or so it seemed. Nothing but scrub around us. Scrub and open sky. My bottom was numb, my legs were all pins and needles. I’d lost count already of the number of times I’d asked myself what I was doing here.

This was so far removed from the life I knew. My world, on the other side of Australia, was ordered and logical – shaped by education and social graces. My world was about intellect and achievement. Life was organised and controlled, discussed and planned. And yet here I was, sitting in the dirt, with no idea what was going on.

What had I hoped to learn in coming here? The women around me had enjoyed little schooling and most had failing health. Some of them spoke only broken English. Their clothes were mismatched, worn and stained, no bras, no shoes, messy hair – everything my own Grandmothers would have admonished me about. My mind jumped from thought to thought, and increasingly those thoughts were negative. I was hot. I was thirsty and hungry. I was twenty-five years old and I had thought I knew everything. Now I just felt like an idiot.

Image from whealth.com.au

Image from whealth.com.au

Uncomfortable, tear-stained and confused I finally addressed the oldest one, Grandmother, looking straight at her. “What are we doing? Why am I here?” I asked. I couldn’t help it, I was plaintive, whinging even.

I knew she could speak English. The old woman ignored me, so I asked slower. Louder. Even now I am embarrassed thinking back…

I’d always been told I was smart; after all I went to a good school, I was University educated, a career girl. I had a genius IQ. But what I didn’t know then was manners.

Oh sure, I had Western manners, White Girl manners. But when you ask an Elder a question, the answer comes slowly. Best to come sit beside them, looking out in the direction they are looking out. Best not to look into their face. Best to ask politely.

And if the answer is important, if it’s really important, a really BIG question with a BIG answer then they’ll make you wait. They’ll give you that answer in dribs and drabs as you’re ready for it.

And if you’re not ready for it, they won’t tell you at all.

But I was white. I didn’t know those things. So in my ignorance I was rude, offensive and increasingly belligerent.

“Why won’t you tell me?” I shouted. “Why?”

None of the other women spoke. None of them even moved. I sat, a big white wriggley girl amongst women still as stone while the vast sun beat down upon us, making me redder and redder. I hated all of them, this stupid country, this stupid ceremony. Why didn’t they hurry up? Why had I even agreed to come?

Over and over in my mind I started saying, “I’m done with this. I just want to go home.” I might have even yelled it out. I’m not sure now.

Still, something made me stay, and after a while I settled down. Something overwhelmed me. Fatigue maybe, or heat exhaustion. On some level I stopped struggling and surrendered.

We sat there until the shadows grew long. My bladder, which was bursting, stopped bothering me. My body was taken over by stillness. I could have sat there forever.

Finally Grandmother nodded and one of them spoke. “I’m gonna give you a story,” Auntie said. “It plenty big. It gonna be your story now, sister-sister. You want dis? Dis okay by you?”

I nodded with relief. “Okay,” I said stupidly. And I never even asked what I was agreeing to.

She moved over beside me and placed one hand cupping my ear and one hand over my heart. I felt a surge of energy and heat. She began to talk in a voice soft as smoke, her language, not my own. I became hot and heavy and the tendrils of sound crept up inside me.

To be continued…

Image from flickr

Image by Lindy – flickr

Show me dem hands…

“If you look deeply into the palm of your hand, you will see your parents and all generations of your ancestors. All of them are alive in this moment. Each is present in your body. You are the continuation of each of these people.”
~ Thich Nhat Hanh

The next installment of my Kimberley Story

The night that I sat up by the campfire with Auntie I knew I was making choices. I knew I was making decisions that would affect the rest of my life. I just didn’t know what I was really getting into.  If I had, perhaps I may have chosen differently.

I’d endured a huge argument with my partner when I finally went back to our room. He couldn’t understand why I had spent so long sitting in the dirt with an old, barefoot aboriginal woman. I couldn’t explain it myself. It was the beginning of a distance between us that would eventually end the relationship.

Weeks went by, out in my remote corner of the Outback. After Auntie came to visit me I tried to shrug off the sense of foreboding and concentrate on my work, and on trying to be ‘normal’. I know she had asked me to come visit her up in her country, but I felt uncomfortable to go.

Soon though, she sent a delegation. One Saturday morning Little Auntie and Grandmother turned up at our Cattle Station; two old ladies chauffeured in the Aboriginal Stockman’s brother’s big old red truck.

The Stockman came and banged on my door. “Auntie send some women for you. She bin watching you. You come have tea with dem.” It was an order, rather than a request.

Image from flickr

Image from flickr

It was a quiet time – the weekend – and I had two days off. My partner was away, working. All I had been doing was lying on my bed, reading a book. I could hardly say no.

Little Aunty was one of the tiniest women I had ever seen. She was perhaps four feet tall, stooped and leathery, with fragile-looking wrists, impossibly thin legs and birdlike eyes. I can’t say how old she was.  Definitely in her seventies.  But she could have been in her eighties or even older.  It was hard to tell. And I was younger then, and not so observant of these things.

Grandmother was a stocky woman in her sixties, with a broad waist and hips, an ample bosum and a tremendous laugh. Her curly black hair was shot through with silver, and she spoke good English.  Little Aunty had no English at all.

I made a pot of strong tea, and at the Stockman’s request brought a tin of condensed milk and a plate of cake with me, and I met the women outside the dining room, where they had gathered some plastic chairs under a tree. It was just the three of us, sitting in the deep shade on a stinking hot day.

“Why are you here?” I asked.  “Did Auntie really send you?”

They both smiled and ignored me.

We ate some cake, and drank the tea, made thick and sweet with the condensed milk. Little Auntie smacked her lips together in appreciation, oblivious to the flies that crawled all over us. She hooked one finger and scooped a fly out of her tea and kept on drinking.

Finally Grandmother looked at me, all business. “Show me dem hands,” she said.

I held them out to her, and while Grandmother took my hands by the wrists Little Auntie scooped up some red dirt in her own hands and rubbed it vigorously into mine.

Image by Holger Leue

Image by Holger Leue

Then Little Auntie took my hands and held them loosely in her tiny ones.  She poured over them, pressing her thumb into the palm of my hand and the fleshy mound below my thumb. She turned them this way and that, tracing the lines with a grubby thumbnail. While she did this she made funny little clicking sounds with her tongue. The longer she held my hands the warmer they became.

“You feel dat?” Grandmother asked, coolly observing my every move.

“Yes,” I said. “My hands are hot.” But they weren’t simply hot, they were burning and tingling and it felt like ants were crawling all over them.

Grandmother just nodded. Then she made a small grass fire and placed some green gum leaves in it to make smoke.  The two old women passed my hands back and forth in the fragrant smoke. Little Auntie would sniff my hands and feel them, and then back they would go into the smoke. Finally she was satisfied.

Little Auntie’s eyes were glistening and happy with a kind of pure child-like joy. She said something that sounded like a curdled sigh. Grandmother laughed and then turned to me, smiling.

“You know dat ting in dem hands of yours?” Grandmother said. “It come from your grandmother, from your grandfather, from your people way way back. All dem ancestors. It in you now, dat power. In you forever. No give him back. Okay?”

I don’t know why, but my eyes filled up with tears. I felt the connection deep in my heart, and it made me feel so much less alone.

Behind us the station workers began to file in to the dining room for lunch. I flinched under their gaze, exposed and vulnerable. I didn’t want them to see what we had been doing. Even though it probably didn’t look like anything at all. But it was SOMETHING to me – something significant, something so unexpected and raw and wild and strong.

I longed to soar up into the sky. I craved to dive into the deepest ocean. But I sat on my chair in the shade, and asked if I could get these ladies some lunch or some more tea.

“No,” said Grandmother. “We walk a lil bit now. You come too.”

So I fetched my hat and my sunglasses and we went down to the river. Little Auntie found me a craggy raw agate, rimmed with bright carnelian, and pressed it into my hands, placing it between my palms and then squeezing my hands tight against the stone.

“Dat fella good for you. Good for dat magic,” said Grandmother.

It’s the first crystal I ever felt the energy of – and it remains one of my most treasured possessions.

That was the day my hands were activated. And Grandmother was right. I can’t turn the power off. I can’t give it back. And I don’t want to anymore, anyway…

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PS: If you’d like to work with activating your own hand chakras try these posts:

Activating your hand chakras

Sensing energy in objects

Sensing energy in places

Sensing energy in people

Sensing energy in food

 

 

Out in the wilderness…

Image from www.walls.com

Image from www.walls.com

“Funny how “question” contains the word “quest” inside it, as though any small question asked is a journey through briars.” 
~ Catherynne M. Valente, Under in the Mere

“Say it, reader. Say the word ‘quest’ out loud. It is an extraordinary word, isn’t it? So small and yet so full of wonder, so full of hope.” 
~ Kate DiCamillo, The Tale of Despereaux

My Kimberley story, continued…

I would like to say that I was happy, out there in the wild vast spaces of the Kimberley.

But that would not be true.

Life settled into a routine of sorts.  Waking early, I would go for a walk before the heat of the day, dog following at my heels. Breakfast and then over to the office and a mountain of paperwork and management tasks. Sometimes I ventured to other parts of the property, sometimes I met the planes or helicopters as they came in to the station, sometimes I travelled into town. But no matter where I was, I was lonely.

Worse than lonely.

Miserably yearning for something, although I couldn’t tell you what.

Each night I sat by the campfire and waited for the owls, or if the moon was bright I went for a walk to count shooting stars. Sometimes I felt an owl follow me as I walked.

One evening after dinner, as I was walking back to the campfire, the aboriginal stockman  fell in beside me.  He always carried a big torch when he went anywhere at night-time, even if it was between the lit buildings.

“You. Why you go walkin’ off in da night-time?”

“I like to see the stars,” I said.  “And I talk to the owl that follows me.”

He stopped suddenly and shook his head, making a disapproving clucking noise with his tongue. “Don’t you goin’ walkabout in da night-time no more. No good, all alone. No good in dat darkness.”

I shrugged my shoulders.

“Dat owl talk back to you?” he asked seriously.

“Not yet,” I answered.

“Hmmmph,” he said, and walked off crankily.

The next morning there was a big old torch and a spare battery outside my door.  I knew it was for me.

After that, the stockman became a little more friendly.  One night as we were leaving the fire, he asked me how many owls I saw. I told him five. He rubbed his hand across his jaw as though he was thinking.  “Okay,” he said, and then he just walked off.

road-trip-1

Two days later he came to my office, and stood awkwardly at the door, balancing on first one skinny leg and then the other until I looked up from my work. “My brudda,” he said. “He gonna come visit tomorrow. You be here?”

I couldn’t understand how he would know that, unless he’d made a prior arrangement with his brother.  The stockman never used the payphone, and he never got any mail.

“Are you sure?” I said stupidly.

“Mm humph,” he grunted, and then he tapped his long bony finger against his temple. “My brudda talk to me in here.  He bring you tree (he held up three fingers) fine mudcrab. He gonna bring Auntie. You better be here.”

I didn’t understand, so I just smiled.

That night I didn’t go out to the campfire.  I went for a short walk, and then retired early to bed. All night my dreams were crazy, but one in particular stood out. An old, fat aboriginal lady with a jolly face and wearing a faded pink dress, took me flying through the night sky.  She held my hand and we effortlessly glided above the sleeping landscape.  I could hear the thoughts and the dreams of the people and the animals below.  The air around us was silvery and slippery somehow. And I don’t remember how I came home, but I woke up in my bed the next morning almost convinced it had been real.

That afternoon a rusty old truck rattled up though the riverbed and into the station. The aboriginal stockman stood in the middle of the road, just outside my office, waiting for them.

It was his brother, who had driven down from Wyndham to visit him.  I was introduced to the brother, and then an old lady climbed down from the cab of the truck.  She was barefoot, wearing a faded pink dress, and she was plump and jolly.

“Hey girlie,” she said to me in a raspy, strong voice. “I know you.”

I felt weak, like my legs would go from under me.  It was the lady from my flying dream.

She came over and put her warm hand on my face, looking deep into my eyes.  “I know you,” she said again.

“Hmmph,” said the stockman. “I told you.  She dat ting.”

I felt like I was hollow, like I was being sucked into another time and space. I could hardly breathe. It was shocking, although I can’t tell you why. This bare-footed, jolly old woman had such authority.

“I need a cuppa tea,” she told me.  “And my boy, he bring you three fine mud crab. In that esky,” she gestured to the stockman. “Betta cook him up while dem fellas still fresh.”

She patted my arm kindly. “Tea,” she repeated. “We need us some tea.”

Dream Quest by Robert Donaghy

Dream Quest by Robert Donaghey

You See Dem Owls?

Families gather around the campfire at night telling stories about the night owls. By Kathleen Buzzacott

Families gather around the campfire at night telling stories about the night owls. By Kathleen Buzzacott

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”
~ e.e. cummings

So, back to my story about the Kimberley owls

Have you ever wanted to run away from yourself?

Twenty years ago or so, when I arrived at this remote cattle station at the top end of western Australia – a million acres of vast wilderness that I was to call home – I was already deeply unhappy. I’d been troubled by a mystery illness which had disrupted my career, and whose lingering affects of fatigue left me strangely unable to pursue a ‘normal life’.  I found that after working all day I had no energy for socialising or relationships, I could no longer drink alcohol without feeling ill, and the plans I had made for myself seemed to be going up in smoke. Instead of climbing the ladder I was stuck in the middle of nowhere, and that, it seems, was where my life was going.

After such a promising beginning, my life had spiralled into a place I couldn’t recognise. My relationship was in tatters, although I was still trying to make it work. The staff at the station were mostly men with poor social skills – only the gay and seriously alcoholic station cook took any time to talk to me. And I had come ill-prepared for living somewhere so remote.  I had brought only one book, and no crafts or projects for a nightly distraction.

Even worse, I had this weird psychic sense of something impending. I had moments of deja vu, lucid dreams, a feeling of being watched, and I often smelled flowers or smoke when there was nothing to create that sort of odour. I knew things about people or events without being able to understand why.

I worked hard on shoving any intuitive or psychic feelings and perceptions back down.  That was something I actively didn’t want.  Being unwell already made me different enough.  I just wanted to be normal.

That was quite hard to do, given my circumstances.

Kimberley Boabs - Image from www.boabsinthe kimberley.com.au

Kimberley Boabs – Image from www.boabsinthe kimberley.com.au

The aboriginal man who’d met us at the last river crossing on the day we’d arrived at the Station still treated me as if I was invisible.  It was becoming embarrassing.  Ever since he’d poked his bony finger into my breastbone, with his strange welcoming message, ‘You dat thing’, he had only spoken to me twice; both times in the evening as we came back to our rooms after a night around the camp fire.  Each time he simply asked me, “You see dem owls?” And then he’d ask, “How many fella you see?” There had only been one, and just like the first night he had grunted at me and walked off.

I felt like a fringe dweller in an already tiny community with limited social activities and opportunities for friendships.

The Station had satellite television – a big screen in the staff dining room – and we received two channels clearly.  One was the ABC, and the other was an amalgamation of sport, more sport, local sport, national and international sport, fishing shows and a few bad reruns. To change channels someone needed to go out to the big box under the satellite dish and flick a switch. No-one ever wanted to watch the ABC besides me, and seeing I was not a drinker either, it didn’t leave me many options for evening entertainment.  It was miserably lonely.

I ended up with two favourite activities.

I’d sit quietly around the nightly campfire, listening to the music as stockmen strummed their guitars and sang, or played their small (very small!) collection of country music CDs.  While everyone else drank beer I’d sip tea and watch for owls. Gradually, over the coming months, I began to see more than one owl coming down to the trees around our fire. But the aboriginal stockman never asked me again how many owls I saw, and I was too shy to say anything to him. I figured he didn’t like me anyway.

My most favourite thing of all was something I did with only my dog Bundy for company, once the station’s communal dinner was finished. On moonlit nights, Bundy and I would head out onto the main road, which was just a wide dirt track leading out to the runway or over to the river crossing and back into town. We’d choose a direction and start walking. The dust was soft and thick beneath our feet and we would walk until the laughter, loud television and bad country music faded into nothingness. We never needed a torch. The stars and moon were so bright that we could see perfectly well without them.

When we came to a good straight stretch, I’d lie down in the soft dust in the middle of the road, and Bundy would come and lay beside me, her head on my chest. Together we’d look up and count shooting stars. There were so many that I needed to choose a high number as our goal each night. Seventy-six I’d say to Bundy.  When we’ve seen seventy-six shooting stars we’ll head back home to bed.

Shooting stars - image from   www.freeimages.gatag.net

Shooting stars – image from www.freeimages.gatag.net

Out there the night sky was oh-so-beautiful. Stars stretched out forever, a milky blanket thick with light. The ground was soft and warm beneath me, and I grew to love the smell and sounds of the night. My loneliness would melt away and I would gaze in wonder at the world above me.  Over the coming months it changed me somehow. I found myself calmer, more open to things, and I realised that I didn’t need to fit in, or try to be someone other than who I was.

I began to see things I’d never noticed before – plants, animals, tracks in the dirt, scuds of clouds in the sky. I realised that the Kimberley was full of crystals, all lying in the dirt at my feet.  Slowly my collection grew. Amethysts, clear quartz, smoky quartz, carnelians, dusty agates and river-smoothed wonders.

The big vast emptiness filled me up with…

I still can’t tell you what it was. Magic?  Spirit?

So much of my life unravelled at my feet during that time, and looking back I can see that it was more a freeing than a falling apart. But that’s now. With the wisdom of hindsight. At the time I was lonely, isolated and afraid of whatever was dwelling at the edge of my consciousness. Change was coming, although I did not understand what that could possibly mean.

And with every owl I saw, that feeling grew…

Barn Owl by Andrew Howells

Barn Owl by Andrew Howells