Why Being ‘Nice’ Can Be Poisonous To Your Soul


“Share your weaknesses. Share your hard moments. Share your real side. It’ll either scare away every fake person in your life or it will inspire them to finally let go of that mirage called “perfection,” which will open the doors to the most important relationships you’ll ever be a part of.” 
~ Dan Pearce

Lovelies, today I want to share my perspective on ‘making nice’ with you.

Kindness is a loving balm, understanding is a mental tonic, compassion grows our hearts, love is food for the soul, but niceness? Far too often niceness is a poison administered to ourselves by our own hand.

There is a trend (and I recognise it because I once was in that same place!) where people beginning to become spiritually aware try to live from a place of unconditional love. That’s a beautiful thing, but too often what gets practised is not actually unconditional love but ‘niceness’.

Many people consider niceness to be a virtue; a sign of living from heart, and acting from love. I’m not referring to kindness, or good manners, or amiability. I’m talking here about pleasing others, not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings, and being agreeable and amenable, even if it comes at a high cost to yourself.

Speaking our truth honours us, and it teaches us honest and direct communication that honours and respects others. Can we come from a place of unconditional love and still speak our truth? Absolutely! Because the premise of unconditional love is that we also love ourselves.

Authenticity requires us to live with honesty – not with silencing ourselves or suppressing our true thoughts and emotions.

Niceness is not about unconditional love – it is about giving up honesty in order to avoid disapproval, confrontation, rejection, ridicule or embarrassment. It elevates the happiness and well-being of others above your own. It is based on falseness, and by its nature, niceness prevents honesty and authenticity. When you come from niceness you teach others to devalue you, and disrespect you. You do not set clear boundaries.

Niceness does not come from a heart-centred life. It grows out of fear and a lack of self-worth. It is a behaviour that goes counter to our intuitive wisdom, and to those gut-based mechanisms that keep us safe.  We tell people what they want to hear, we do and say things to keep others happy or to keep the peace. We act in a way that pleases others but that robs us of a little (or a big bit!) of ourselves.

There is always a way to tell the difference between being nice and being kind.  Kindness comes from a place of being centred, and it empowers us.  It strengthens us, as it strengthens others. We can act with generosity or compassion and there is no cost to us, or it is a cost we willingly bear.  We give without expecting anything in return, for the sake of uplifting others.

Niceness always leaves you with an aftertaste – you know you have’t spoken truthfully; you feel that twang of inauthentic energy, that twinge of discomfort, or you even get that sense of being taken for granted or taken for a ride.

Niceness diminishes us, even when it strengthens others. We bite our tongue in order to say the flattering thing, we do the act with a little flame of resentment in our heart. And sometimes it starts out as kindness – but our kindness becomes expected, or disrepected – we are taken advantage of but we are unable to speak up about that and voice our own feelings. So we act nice instead.

When we choose niceness it poisons us.  It leads to depression, anxiety, shame, emotional distress, guilt, anger and despair.   Life-long patterns of niceness leave us open to exploitation and invite difficult, damaging and dangerous relationships into our lives.

We end up doing things we don’t want to do – we can become an entirely different person to who we are on the inside. We can lose ourselves so completely that we have no idea any more what makes us happy, what our preferences are, what we want in life…

Taken to extremes, through living a life of niceness we can cease to exist. Instead, we become a support role in someone else’s life. We become Cinderella, at home scrubbing the floors while her stepsisters are out having fun!

Are you too nice?

Maybe it’s time to start honouring your own truth. Love starts with the self, and healthy self-esteem can only be built by standing up for yourself, giving your feelings a voice, and attending to your own needs.  You can do that and still be polite.  You can do that and still be kind.  You can do that and still be likeable, lovable and accepted.  Don’t keep drinking that from that poisonous niceness bottle!

And if your acts of self-respect and kindness aren’t taken well by others? Maybe it’s time to  get some space, maybe it’s time to stop giving, maybe it’s time to move on… If you have to be ‘nice’ in order for your life to work, the price will always be too high.

You might be surprised. As you begin voicing your honest thoughts, you give others permission to do the same. Being authentic can create great change. It invites miracles. And this week supports that kind of energy, so be brave and embrace your truth then live from that space and watch the magic begin to happen in your life. Choose love. Choose kindness. And above all, be true to yourself. It’s worth it! 

Much love, Nicole ❤ xx

Image from www.simplereminders.com

Announcing Temple of Light Retreat – 3rd- 8th August 2019

“The calm within the storm is where peace lives and breathes. It is not within perfect circumstances or a charmed life… it is not conditional. Peace is a sacred space within, it is the temple of our internal landscape. We are free to visit it, whenever we seek sanctuary. Underneath the chaos of everyday living, peace is patiently awaiting our discovery… go within.” 
~  Jaeda DeWalt

I’m excited to announce my next residential retreat – my Temple of Light ™ Shamanic Meditation Retreat, to be held at Sangsurya, Byron Bay from the 3rd- 8th August 2019.

This isn’t your ordinary meditation course. This retreat is essentially an opportunity to connect more deeply with your Soul Energy and Guides than you might ever have thought possible. Let me tell you more…

There is a very special meditation that I practice on a very regular basis. It’s not just a meditation, it’s a destination – and it’s one of the things that has most helped me to come into my own intuitive and psychic abilities, and that has enabled me to deal with health problems, pain and suffering when there was no other help available.

In Ancient cultures our transitions from childhood to puberty, and from puberty to adulthood were marked by ritual, ceremony and the exchange of information. The rituals were especially important for individuals with psychic awareness. These individuals were given specific training in meditation and energy techniques to help them to connect with and explore their abilities, to travel deep within themselves, and to move into connection with the spiritual realms.

A shamanic journey is a journey within. This sacred journey allows us to access a level of consciousness where we can more easily tune into intuitive and spiritual guidance. We learn to listen to our bodies. We learn to listen to our hearts. We learn to listen to our souls and our own inner wisdom. We learn to listen to the Earth, and to all that surrounds us.

On such a journey we often discover things deeply buried – all manner of gifts and longings and talents neglected. We are able to practice Soul Retrieval as we connect to the aspects of ourselves that have long been lost, shamed or shunned.
When we embark on a shamanic journey we gift ourselves space to become whole again, in flow again, and we experience growth and peace.

Image from www.pexels.com

This particular shamanic meditation technique arose from a gift I was given long ago – a fragment of a sacred meditation – and the result is one I have channelled, developed and tuned over decades. I call this meditation Temple of Light ™, and it is one of the most important practices in my life. It supports you no matter what your religion or spiritual beliefs. This simple meditation technique allows you to access an energetic destination which is multi-layered and that last you an entire lifetime in terms of the insights, wisdoms and developments that it will help you to manifest for yourself and others. That is what the Temple of Light ™ is all about. No matter what your current level of knowledge, spiritual connection or metaphysical ability, this technique will work for you.

I have updated this meditation significantly for this retreat, to reflect the greater need for self-awareness and self-care that is required when we walk a spiritual path. I have also introduced some shamanic rituals that I have not felt to share for a very long time.

Over this six-day immersive experience I will guide you through a series of meditation and self-reflection exercises designed to open you up to your wise and intuitive self, your Guides and energetic helpers, and the talents and gifts within you. I have also organised two special guest lecturers to support your self-care journey.

The Temple of Light ™’s energetically connected ‘rooms’ will provide you with a beautiful and sacred shamanic meditation template that will allow you to manifest immediate change in your life, and to rapidly accelerate both your personal and spiritual development. Whatever your interests, the Temple of Light ™ will provide you with what you need, customized to your own energy and purpose. It is a place of comfort and sanctuary, attuned to your exact personal needs.

If you are interested in developing psychic or metaphysical skills, creating healing energy, or gaining access to creative or financial flow, or if you’re stuck and don’t know how to move forward, this is the retreat for you. It is suitable for complete beginners and advanced practitioners too.

We have not yet advertised this retreat, but the demand is high and over half the available places have already been filled.

Will one of the last places be for you?

It is unlikely that I will run this retreat again in its current format. So, if you’ve been waiting for a meditation retreat that can transform your life this is the one for you.

To find out more email my PA Trish Lyons directly at nicolecodyinfo@gmail.com and she’ll send you some more information and an Expression of Interest form.

We look forward to having you join us for a very special and transformative experience.

Much love, Nicole <3 xoxo

Image from www.vk.com

Why Kindness And Goodness Matters

“Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.” 
Roy T. Bennett

Life can be a difficult ride, and each of us at times will know pain, trouble, loneliness and struggle. That’s why it is so important for us to practice love and kindness.

But when we are going through our own difficulties, when we are tired or feeling taken for granted, we might wonder what’s the point? What’s the point of being kind? What’s the point of continuing to be caring, helpful, polite?

Have you noticed that emotional states are contagious? Hang around an angry person long enough and some of that will rub off on you. The same goes for depression. Uncaring acts beget more. Selfishness breeds isolation, disrespect, contempt and ugliness.

Just as negative emotions have a negative impact, choosing to stay focused on love, gratitude, positive values and caring will have a positive impact on our lives.

Our emotional state and our thoughts travel out from us like ripples on a pond. They radiate energy that affects everything and everyone around us. Eventually, some of that energy will be reflected back to us, perhaps weaker, perhaps greatly magnified…

What sort of world do you choose for yourself?

Loving others, living from your heart, choosing kindness, and performing acts of service and devotion that may well go unacknowledged or unappreciated are paths that can truly lead us to a better future, influencing and supporting the positive unfolding of history in ways we may not ever know or understand in our lifetime.

No matter what your emotional starting ground, when you uplift others, you also uplift yourself. When you share your heart, it doesn’t decrease your love – it expands your love, and your capacity to give and receive love.

Our Universe is built upon unseen acts of courage, goodness, faith, optimism, service and great love.

Whether you subscribe to a particular religion or not, whether you believe in God, karma, Universal Law or death and taxes – know that by your own actions, your choices, your values, sacrifices and personal character you contribute to the future unfolding of our planet.

Invisible acts of love and uplifting others might not provide us with an immediate reward – but through these acts we are gifted something far more precious – they give us the power to positively shape destiny, and to better shape ourselves in the process.

When in doubt about how to act, be guided by the wisdom of the Dalai Lama:

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.
Dalai Lama

Sending love your way, Nicole ❤ xx

Understanding Intuition and Gut Instinct

“Follow your instincts. That’s where true wisdom manifests itself.”  ~ Oprah Winfrey

There is an unseen force that lives within each of us, and that connects us all.  We are energetic by nature, and that energy can guide us if only we can tune in to it.  One of the simplest ways to do this is by learning to honour our intuition.

There are many ways to do this, but today I’m going to focus on one: gut feeling.  Gut instinct or feeling is a primal response hard-wired into every human.

Gut feeling really does come from that area of your body – your abdomen.  It’s not a mind-based wisdom.  It doesn’t come from your heart.  It comes from that primal genetic material that is encoded and passed from parent to offspring.  In humans that is your original eight cells, which are located near your solar plexus. It is also the wisdom of the many bacteria and other organisms that live within the gut itself. We are not just our own consciousness. We are a whole co-creative biosystem that has evolved with an instinct to keep ourselves safe and to guard against threat.

So how do we tune in to this?  It’s easier than you think. Gut instinct does not use words or images.  Gut instinct uses emotions, and rockets along our central nervous system, which can also produce physical reactions.  It operates in 3 modes – neutral, forward and reverse. Some people call this the ‘sixth sense’. Some call it ‘intuition’.  Whatever the name, I’m sure you’ve all felt it and are familiar with it, whether you honour it or not.

In ‘forward’, we literally feel that we want to move closer to something.  We feel good about it.  We feel excited, happy and positive.  We can’t explain why, we can’t find the words for it, but we KNOW that something will work, that the person is good or honest, that this situation will be for the best, that this job/car/person/product/idea/food is the right choice.

In ‘neutral’ we feel indifference. There is no strong emotion or physical reaction either way.

In ‘reverse’ our gut is telling us to back away.  We feel unsure or uncomfortable.  The warning bells go off.  If it’s a mild response, this is where our brain often kicks in and invalidates our emotion (that can happen in ‘forward’ situations too!) by persuading our logical mind with rational thoughts and justifications.  In a strong response we may feel anxious or ill, we want to move back from this job/person/situation, we want to get to safety or a neutral space.  We can’t say why but we KNOW this won’t work well, this person can’t be trusted, something is wrong, it’s going to end badly…

This basic instinct is like a muscle – the more we use it, the stronger it becomes.  If we learn to trust it with the smaller things, eventually we’ll be able to hear and honour it with the bigger things.  This can be especially hard for people who are governed by their mind, which is why I recommend starting with small things that have no big ramifications in your life.

Here are some examples you may be familiar with:

  • Driving to work you suddenly feel like taking an alternative route.  You ignore that instinct and a minute past the turn-off you get stuck in a gridlock that makes you late. If you’d gone the other way you would have missed the traffic snarl.
  • In the supermarket you are drawn to a special: roasted chicken and a vast tub of coleslaw.  You really want to buy it, but that’s crazy.  There’s only you and that’s so much food.  You don’t buy it, and when you get home your sister and her family have arrived and that chicken and coleslaw would have been perfect…
  • You meet a guy, and your immediate reaction is one of dislike and distrust.  Everyone tells you how great he is, so you brush that initial feeling away.  Down the track your instinct is proved right when he turns out to be not-so-nice or trustworthy after all.  You kick yourself because you KNEW it all along!
If you’re a Star Wars fan you’ll know that Master Yoda, the great Jedi has much to say about the Force.  Here’s some of what he told Luke Skywalker…

“My ally is the Force. And a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us… and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this… [nudging Luke’s arm] crude matter! You must feel the Force around you. Here, between you, me, the tree, the rock… everywhere! Even between the land and the ship.”

If Luke learns to master the Force, as other Jedi have done, the Force can provide access to even higher levels of awareness and intuition.  Yoda explains, “Through the Force, things you will see. Other places. The future…the past…old friends long gone.”

Animals don’t question that Force.  And because of that they are guided in incredible ways.  They trust their instincts. This youtube clip illustrates that energy and trust.  It’s magical…

Postscript: I’m a channel, and often that connection informs my writing. It means I sometimes write about things I don’t consciously understand or remember, which I then go and google (welcome to my life!) to find out their meaning.  That’s how I found out about the eight cells.

What’s up with this crazy End-of-2014 energy?

Image from Chris Morton

Image from Chris Morton

“If you lack the humility to go back and tie up the loose ends in your past, then be prepared to forever be haunted by her ghosts, all of whom will come into your present and your future – staining everything and everyone with their leftover emotional and mental garbage.”
~ C. JoyBell C.

 

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost.” ~ Martha Graham

 

Have you been feeling it?

There’s been some crazy, messy and wild energy around these last few months. And of course, it has been exacerbated by the planetary energies and eclipses we’ve experienced lately.

If you are a sensitive soul, you’ll know exactly what I mean!

2015 is fast approaching, and right now we have a perfect opportunity to bring patterns and issues in our life to a place of completion. From now until early February 2015 is a terrific time for endings, closing doors, finishing things up and stepping away from relationships, habits, beliefs and environments that no longer support us.

Tidy up those loose ends. Make the small and the big decisions. Know that sometimes completion is about cleaning up the mess, simplifying, downsizing or choosing to walk away before the job is done, knowing you don’t need what you leave behind.

It’s also a powerful time for karmic clearing of ancestral patterns. We can choose to break family patterns of thinking and behaving, and choose new ways of being in the world.

Don’t be surprised if things you thought you’d dealt with suddenly come back one more time. If you’re given seductive choices that would lead you back down roads you said you’d never walk again.

Be strong now. Get clear. There is so much power available to you in this moment – so much energy that supports positive change.

There’s also a quickening right now. It’s a fore-taste of what’s to come next year.

Expect that some days may feel insanely busy and pressured. That you might feel called to make choices or decisions when you don’t feel there’s enough time to really think about things and to reflect.

It’s likely that you’ll feel like things are moving too fast, that there’s not enough time, that you’re walking through a strange land with none of the usual guideposts….

Image from Adventurer Pics

Image from Adventurer Pics

That’s okay. If you’ve done the work, if you’re ready (and most likely you’ll still be in a place of doubt about that, my dears) that river you’ve jumped into is going to rocket you along. The Universe knows. Your heart knows. Your soul knows. It might just take your brain a little time to catch up.

We need you in this changing world. We need your passion, your commitment, your individuality, your unique perspective.

We need you to be YOU. To walk your path, to share your gifts – whatever those may be. Not sure what you have to offer? Don’t worry. Just pay attention. In this place of quickening, ideas and inspiration will come. It might not be what you’d expected.

Good. Say yes anyway.

Right now a sense of humour, a spirit of adventure, kindness towards self and others, an open heart and an open mind will serve you well. 2015 sees an expansion – an opening out of energies, the birth of so many possibilities. It’s almost here. Can’t you feel it?

Onwards, my lovelies!

 

Why This Psychic Blogs About Cooking!

Raspberry Tiramisu

“No one who cooks, cooks alone. Even at her most solitary, a cook in the kitchen is surrounded by generations of cooks past, the advice and menus of cooks present, the wisdom of cookbook writers.”
~ Laurie Colwin

“If you are careful,’ Garp wrote, ‘if you use good ingredients, and you don’t take any shortcuts, then you can usually cook something very good. Sometimes it is the only worthwhile product you can salvage from a day; what you make to eat. With writing, I find, you can have all the right ingredients, give plenty of time and care, and still get nothing. Also true of love. Cooking, therefore, can keep a person who tries hard sane.”
~ John Irving, The World According to Garp

 

Someone sent me an email yesterday. I present an excerpt here for your interest;

Nicole, I’m really puzzled over your blog. You are a psychic. What the *#@^ are you writing about cooking for? Also, enough with the photos of your garden and your dogs. Anyone can write about that so leave it to them. More how-to’s about being a psychic and your psychic stories. That’s what I want.

Hmmm…

I made myself a pot of tea, went and hosed my vegetable garden, and thought about how to respond.

It’s true. I am psychic. And that is a very big part of my life. But it’s not ALL of my life.

Further to that, this person also wrote:

“It must be wonderful to be psychic. How glamorous and exciting.”

That made me laugh. Glamorous? Not much, my friend. Exciting? Not really the word I would have chosen.

It has been a big week for me – as well as dealing with my horror Lyme meds I’ve been reaching out to support a friend as she suffers a major health crisis, holding the space for others coming through grief and trauma, and guiding a student experiencing a major spiritual breakthrough. I also advised authorities over a difficult matter, comforted a client who had received a positive cancer diagnosis after finally going to the doctor at my insistence, and guided others through life’s major crossroads.

That’s a normal week for me.

I cannot speak for others who are psychic, but I can speak of what this life is like for me.

I adore what I do, but it is also a great responsibility.  Being psychic, being aware of the thoughts and feelings of others, having knowledge of situations and possibilities, being compelled to come to the aid of people – it’s exhausting.  I can’t turn off seeing auras and energy all around me.  I am constantly aware of things others cannot see, some of which, at times, I would rather not know.

And I am always, always on duty.

I’m not talking about the times when I am working with clients, or running workshops or retreats.  I’m expecting to do psychic work then, and I’m prepared and ready for that.

The truth is I cannot plan my days with any certitude. It doesn’t matter whether I am healthy or unwell, busy or on a day off.  It does not matter what time of the day or night.  If I am called to serve, I must heed that call.

I might wake from a dream, or emerge from a meditation with the need to contact someone, provide information and then support them. Perhaps I will need to try and prevent a suicide.  I might spend time helping a lost soul cross over, comforting a child and guiding them with their own spiritual and psychic connections, or helping an unborn twin save their sibling. My holidays get interrupted, even when I’m in the middle of the ocean, or I might be suddenly called to intervene with healing a past life trauma for a complete stranger.

The images, information and emotions are like constant background noise.  And then sometimes that volume gets cranked way up.

My main method of coping – besides tapping into nature, community and the grounded joys of everyday life – is meditation. Meditation clears the energetic debris at the end of the day, and I can reach out and send love and healing so that others feel supported. Meditation also starts my day.  I can set my intent, tune in and open myself to what most needs focus or support, and direct my energies to that end.  Meditation makes room in my mind, and it uplifts my soul. It’s one of the reasons why I include so many meditations in my blog.

Here's a particularly annoying photo of the blossoms on my lemonade tree. It's shame this isn't a scratch and sniff blog - these blossoms smell so good!  :)

Here’s a particularly annoying photo of the blossoms on my lemonade tree. It’s a shame this isn’t a scratch and sniff blog – these blossoms smell so good! 🙂

But that’s not cooking, is it? Meditation is still kind of psychic…

Here’s the thing. Every day I see humanity in all its glorious wonder, frailty, beauty, brutality and ugliness. I taste and feel life as viscerally as if it is all happening to me, and through me.

At times I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders, and at other times I feel uproariously free, grateful and alive. I am privileged to see and feel with this weird kind of subtlety and sensitivity.  It is an honour to peer into the fabric of the Universe and glimpse some of its magic.

It’s a path I take very seriously.

But it’s not glamorous, or particularly exciting. Instead I find it humbling, hard work and at times extraordinarily rewarding.

So why blog recipes?

Cooking is actually very important to me. Sorry, that may sound a bit trite. Let me explain. It’s where I feel my grandmothers’ hands guiding mine – although they are now passed over. And I really miss my grandmothers! Cooking helps me feel them in the kitchen with me. Preparing food is one of the ways I can show care for my family, friends and community, and it’s the thing I do to stay sane in my often crazy world.

Cooking is often my lifeline, and the thing that normalises me when life feels so very strange. It connects me to my ordinary self. It’s a way to unwind, a form of moving meditation. It’s a way to nurture me and others. Plus… yum!

Also my Nana’s Curried Sausages Recipe beats Jamie Oliver’s and the Women’s Weekly’s in Google rankings. 🙂

Anyway, I digress…

Getting my hands into the dirt in my garden or rambling around my farm talking to the cows keeps me grounded too.

Nurse Bert!

Nurse Bert!

My dogs? They are sometimes the rodeo clowns who prevent me being trampled, sometimes my nurses, sometimes the ones who understand best what I need, and who give me love, comfort and reason to laugh after a hard day.

I’m glad you are keen to develop your psychic skills. But how’s your cooking? How’s your compassion? What are your coping skills? How’s your humanity?

How will you handle being psychic, and all that entails, especially looking after and guiding other people with wisdom and kindness, if you cannot also be rounded and grounded as a person?

Sorry, but I’m going to keep blogging my life – ALL of it – I hope you understand.

All the best,

Nicole

PS – I couldn’t help myself. I guess you mightn’t be reading my blog again after this, so I thought I’d better include one last photo of my awesomely magical dogs…unicorn dogs

Will You Join Me For Some Guided Meditations?

Image from Reginele

Image from Reginele

“Meditation is listening to the Divine within.” ~ Edgar Cayce

 

Meditation is one of the foundation stones upon which I have built my life. It is a twice daily routine for me, and I have practiced now for nearly thirty years. Meditation is not based on a religion, and many atheists I know practice meditation just as comfortably as those who have faith in something more, or a belief in God. Put most simply, meditation helps you to know yourself, and that quiet wise space within you.

Meditation has helped me to relax, to facilitate my spiritual and psychic development, to manage pain, to sleep better, and to connect to the Divine (or whatever you choose to call that energy if that is your belief). It has helped me to understand and love myself, and to develop compassion for self and others.

Over the next seven weeks I will be recording some simple guided meditations for you, starting from tomorrow. These recordings can be played directly from my blog, or downloaded. The meditations will help you to become familiar with the act of meditating, and are designed to get you out of your head, and into a connected, soulful heart space.

Guided meditations, where you listen to someone’s voice to take you into and out of the practice of the meditation, can help beginners and those who find meditating difficult, as well as those who already enjoy regular meditative practice.

These are the areas I will be covering:

  1. Orienting My Awareness with my Body
  2. Orienting My Awareness with my Mind
  3. Orienting My Awareness with my Heart
  4. Orienting My Awareness with my Soul
  5. Orienting My Awareness with the Earth
  6. Orienting My Awareness with Oneness
  7. Orienting My Awareness with the Expanding Universe

I do hope you will join me.

Much, much love to you, Nicole xx

Meditation-quote-David-Lynch

Girl, stop askin’ dem questions. Listen!

Wandjina by Lucy Ward

Wandjina by Lucy Ward

“Very few beings really seek knowledge in this world. Mortal or immortal, few really ask. On the contrary, they try to wring from the unknown the answers they have already shaped in their own minds — justifications, confirmations, forms of consolation without which they can’t go on. To really ask is to open the door to the whirlwind. The answer may annihilate the question and the questioner.” ~ Anne Rice, The Vampire Lestat

 

The next installment in my Kimberley Story

Many years ago, when I lived in the remote Outback on a million acre cattle station at the top end of Western Australia I learned a number of important lessons. One of them was about questions and answers.

It took me a while to understand the etiquette involved in directing a question to an Aboriginal Elder. At first I just did what I’d always done. I looked the person in the eye and said exactly what was on my mind. Politely, of course. Respectfully. I would then wait for my answer. If they seemed to misunderstand I would reform the question in my mind and ask again in a slightly different way.

Somehow that didn’t work for me once I moved to the bush.

One of the first things I did was ask the Aboriginal Stockman what was so important about me seeing owls. At night I watched the owls as they came to the trees around our campfire. If I went on a moonlit walk they followed me. Owls had suddenly become a big part of my life.

He ‘hmmphed’ at me and turned on his heel, slouching off in the opposite direction. My question? Ignored. After that I was too shy for a long time to ask again.

As I became comfortable with Aunty and Grandmother, two Aboriginal Elders who came visiting, I decided I needed to ask about the owls once more. I was seeing so many of them now. There were usually seven at the camp fire each evening, sometimes nine. Two always followed me as I made my way back to my room or out for a walk with my dog. It seemed a bit weird.

“Aunty?” I started one afternoon as we drank tea in the shade of a big tree near the camp kitchen. “Can you tell me about the owls?”

Aboriginal Art - Image from Wikimedia Commons

Aboriginal Art – Image from Wikimedia Commons

Aunty ignored me. She sipped her strong sweet tea and scuffed dirt with her toe. After a while she took a hard gingernut biscuit and dunked it in her tea before slurping at it noisily.

I tried again. “Aunty, I did ask the stockman about it. I asked him several times in fact, but he won’t tell me.” I looked across at her but I couldn’t catch her eye.

Grandmother, who was much younger than Aunty, nudged my arm. “Not his place.” Her voice was gruff with disapproval. “Dat question for you to ask women. Dat question women’s business. You rude girl to ask him. Make him feel very uncomfortable.”

My cheeks burned with embarrassment. I’d made a huge cultural gaff. “I didn’t know! Oh goodness, I’m so sorry. I should go and say sorry at once.”

I stood up, and Aunty put her hand on my arm. “Sit, girl.” She laughed softly. “You aren’t to know our ways.” She went back to dunking biscuits in her tea. After a long silence she said, “Hurry-hurry answers no good for a big question.”

“Is it a big question?” I asked stupidly.

Aunty reached for another biscuit. She dunked it in her very sweet milky tea, turned it and dunked it again. Then slowly she nibbled around the edges in a neat circle. The remaining biscuit she placed on her spoon, lowering it into her mug of tea and watching it carefully. After a few more minutes she brought it to her mouth and slurped the soggy mess with great satisfaction.

I sighed. We weren’t getting anywhere.

“Aunty, I keep seeing owls. The Stockman asks me how many I see but he won’t tell me anything about it. No-one will tell me anything about it. Why is it important? Why is how many I see important?”

She put up her hand to stop me talking. “Girl, stop askin’ dem questions. Listen!” The old lady then resumed her biscuit dunking.

Image from yum2three

Image from yum2three

Listen? To what? No-one was talking. In the background I could hear the hum of the station’s big diesel generator. In the kitchen Cookie was clanking pots and pans and whistling badly to some tune on the radio. Down in the yards one of the men was breaking in a horse and I could hear the occasional crack of a whip. The afternoon breeze rustled the leaves above us.

I was really getting frustrated with this cultural divide. Why wouldn’t they talk to me?

“Need more tea,” Aunty finally said.

I took the empty pot into the kitchen, and was surprised when Grandmother followed me. “Girl, let me teach you how to do proper asking. Okay?” Her eyes were kind.

I nodded.

“Aunty a very old lady now. Elder for our mob. She holds many many things inside her. Big job to do that. You want to ask something? Go up to her, not looking in her face. That shows respect. If she sits, sit beside her, facing same way, looking out. If she stands, stand beside her. Not too close. Look out like she is looking out. Then ask your question.”

I’d been doing it all wrong. I felt sick with shame.

“One more thing,” Grandmother stopped me in the doorway. “If your question little question, not very important, Aunty tell you straight up. But if question big-time question, big important one for you, she make you wait so you will respect the answer. If it’s not your question she say nothing at all. She just look away. If not your time she look down. That tell you one day it can be your answer but not now.”

I wrestled the information in my head. It wasn’t what I wanted to hear. It wasn’t how I’d been brought up. I grew up with teachers and libraries, encyclopedias and dictionaries. I’d been encouraged to learn, and to seek answers everywhere. I was used to information on demand, or as a result of how hard I worked. How could I succeed in a system where I couldn’t make things happen as and when I wanted them to happen?

Banging through the screen door I brought the teapot back out to the table. Aunty was still sitting in her chair, so I dragged mine around to her side of the table. I looked out to where some lorikeets were playing noisily in a blossom-laden tree.

I poured more tea and we watched the birds. I waited, agonizingly patiently, before starting again. When I spoke I looked out at the birds, and kept my voice calm and moderate. “Aunty, why are the owls important?”

She blinked and nodded her head slightly, indicating that she’d heard me.

“Well?” I wanted to yell. “Why can’t you just tell me?!!!” But of course I didn’t. I sat there patiently all afternoon.

Aunty never gave me an answer that day. When they said goodbye she put her warm hand on my front, over my heart. “You got to listen. Dat big heart of yours can listen. Dat heart know tings. Too much head, too much hurry-hurry no good. No good for you.”

As I lay in bed that night all I could think was that somehow my question was a ‘big-time’ question. But she hadn’t looked away, and she hadn’t looked down. She WAS going to give me an answer. Not in my time though. In her time.

Sigh.

How long would it take?

Image from White Wolf Pack

Image from White Wolf Pack

To be continued…

Unblocking and Grounding your Foot Chakras

“In a flash of wonderment she saw firm, continuous ground under her feet, stretching from back then to right now and on and on as far as her eyes could take her.” 
~ Ann Brashares, The Second Summer of the Sisterhood

Ever felt any of the following?

  • Vague, disconnected and disoriented.
  • Spaced out, especially when doing meditation or other forms of spiritual connection.
  • Full of ideas but either can’t make a decision or can’t follow anything through from concept to completion.
  • Don’t hold healings, or chiropractic adjustments, acupuncture treatments etc for more than a few hours before the good results all dissipate.
  • Feel like you are exhausted even after a good night’s sleep.
  • Slow to heal.
  • Can’t seem to work out who you are or what you want.

Image from Humanity Healing

Image from Humanity Healing

If you answered yes to any of these you could be experiencing blocked foot chakras. On the underside of your foot, in your instep, is a large energy centre known as your foot chakra. This chakra works strongly to earth your base chakra. When the chakra is open, activated and grounded it also helps balance and energise all other chakras in the body.

These simple steps can help you to unblock and activate the chakras in your feet.

1. Take a large tub of warm water and place a number of smooth stones or tumbled crystals in the bottom.  Place your bare feet in the water and roll your feet over the stones until they feel energised.

Image from Urban Goddesses

Image from Urban Goddesses

I like to use a variety of crystals that work with each of the major chakras so that I have a rainbow of colour. But I always advise you just to use what you are drawn to. Trust that your own soul knows best what it is you need.

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2. Dry your feet and then stand barefoot upon the earth. Look down at your feet and visualise the chakra in the sole of your foot spinning and opening and energetically connecting into the energy of the Earth. Really allow yourself to feel this connection.

Image from Banoosh

Image from Banoosh

3. Shake the tension out of your hands, loosen your shoulders and give your body a good energetic shake out.

4. Now raise your arms up to the sky and draw that energy of the sun and the moon and the stars down in through your hands and the top of your head.

Image from News Press

Image from News Press

5. Draw the energy of the earth up through your feet and your base chakra. Feel strong like a well grounded tree, roots deep down into the earth.

toonaciliata

6. Have all of the energy meet at your heart; healing, balancing and empowering your entire body.

7. Finally, nurture and nourish your foot chakras and help anchor that grounded energy by rubbing a few drops of pure sesame oil into the soles of your feet. Sesame oil also helps us open to abundance and to be comfortable with flow and positive manifestation.

Working with your foot chakras is a simple act of self nurture than can give lasting benefits and improved well-being on all levels.

Bless ♥ Nicole xx

My Winter Solstice

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Yesterday was the Winter Solstice – the shortest day; grey, cold and wintry. A perfect day for bonfires, for eating the luscious golden fruits from the orchard, and for curling up in front of the hearth to sleep away the longest night…

‘The Shortest Day’ by Susan Cooper

So the shortest day came, and the year died,
And everywhere down the centuries of the snow-white world
Came people singing, dancing,
To drive the dark away.
They lighted candles in the winter trees;
They hung their homes with evergreen;
They burned beseeching fires all night long
To keep the year alive,
And when the new year’s sunshine blazed awake
They shouted, reveling.
Through all the frosty ages you can hear them
Echoing behind us – Listen!!
All the long echoes sing the same delight,
This shortest day,
As promise wakens in the sleeping land:
They carol, fest, give thanks,
And dearly love their friends,
And hope for peace.
And so do we, here, now,
This year and every year.
Welcome Yule!!

Every day a little longer now.  Every day a little lighter.

For you I’m wishing wonders.  Bless ♥ xx

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