A Short But Important Message For You

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“One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others would want you to be, rather than being yourself.”
~ Shannon L. Alder

 

Every morning when I wake up I sit in meditation.

I say prayers for my family and friends, I send healing to those who need it, I send energy and love to my students, and then to the world.

After which I always think about you, dear readers, and I ask ‘What do my readers most need to know today?’ This usually helps me to write a blog post, or to prepare an activity or meditation.

Today when I asked, I got a very clear message. So clear that all I need do is record it here:

“Everyone on earth should believe that they have something to give the world which cannot otherwise be given.”

I know that this is true.

And I know that it’s a message some of you absolutely needed to be reminded of today.

So, go be you. Go be who you are and know that this is enough. To live as yourself. To act and think as yourself. To interact with others as yourself. To love as yourself. Your true self. You whole self.

Even if you have never been brave enough to be you until now.

Because it’s time.

I love you.

Go well today,

Nicole <3 xx

 

It’s Okay to Keep Changing – and How to Cope with People Who Don’t Recognise That

Image from timrettig.net

Image from timrettig.net

“If people refuse to look at you in a new light and they can only see you for what you were, only see you for the mistakes you’ve made, if they don’t realize that you are not your mistakes, then they have to go.”
~ Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

 

I received another message this week that I thought was best answered on my blog.

Lilly writes:

“Hello beautiful. Just wanted to ask some advice. I’m feeling really flat and down and sad this past week. My issues are based in trust and loyalty around family. I am trying to take a holistic approach to life and health in general , have been trying as hard as I can to do and be my best. My ” family ” is still full of doubt , spite and criticism of me and my abilities as a mum and person. My heart is bruised and my soul is weary. Can you offer any advice at all please ? Crystals to work with, books to read, certain meditations, angels to pray to, advice on how to react or not reactionary. ? Anything ?? I know your very busy and have a lot on your own plate but I’m sitting here feeling so lost and down and I don’t know who else to ask. Any advice at all would be deeply appreciated.”

 

First of all, Lilly, here’s a big hug (((HUG))). It’s hard when we’re doing our best and consciously making better choices to lift ourselves up and to live by our own values, and then to get pulled down by the people we had hoped would support us. You can always call on your Angels and Guides. Just talk to them out loud, or in your head, and ask for their help and support. Loved ones who’ve passed over can also bring us comfort. Some people talk to God. GO with what feels right to you.

Lilly, this is a hard one, and I’m going to consider it from several angles. Please know that I am no longer writing just about you, but about so many people just like you, and some who are not.

 

When You Really Did Do Some Things To Harm Trust:

If there was a time when you made mistakes or poor choices, or were immature or had a bad attitude or an addiction, then it’s likely that you hurt the people closest to you. It’s painful for family and friends to watch someone they love be in that space, and it’s painful to be on the receiving end of their bad behaviour, lies, addiction or attitude. When you’ve been continually hurt by someone you become wary of being hurt again. It is hard to trust someone who has put you through that, especially if they have promised or pleaded that they have changed, only to then fall back into those behaviours, or to manipulate your sympathies to their own ends.

In that kind of situation where you’ve hurt others, you will have to earn that trust back. You may want to apologise and let those people speak their hurts to you, so that they too can feel heard. And then you need to let your changed life and your actions speak for themselves. I have seen many brave people work the AA Twelve Step program or similar, and go back to people they had harmed – to explain and to apologise and to offer restitution. Sometimes it helped heal the relationship. Sometimes it just enabled the person who’d broken the trust to make peace with themselves that they had done the best that they could to put things right. Family counselling can help. Or a good counsellor or support group can help you to forgive yourself, understand what happened and move on.

If you’re the one who has been on the receiving end of that harmed trust, it is perfectly fine to look for evidence of change through a person’s actions and day-to-day life, rather than simply accepting what they tell you. The old saying about talk being cheap is true when you have been let down many times before. I wrote a post about that here called Listen With Your Eyes

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When A Loved One Did Things That Harmed Trust:

Sometimes people we love lie. Or cheat. Or take sides. Or play favourites. Or are insensitive or mean. Maybe they have an addiction issue. Perhaps they have experienced abuse or trauma themselves. Or maybe they just made bad choices. People make mistakes. Sometimes, if everyone is willing to work on it, we can put broken back together. It usually takes time,  commitment, and the facilitation of a good therapist. I’ve known people who have forged better, more honest relationships after times of great hardship.

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BUT sometimes our loved one is a bully, a violent addict, a narcissist, a sociopath. Sometimes they are so broken or their behaviours so entrenched that all you will get is more of the same abuse every time you front on up to that relationship. Wanting or needing a person to change doesn’t make them change, no matter how hard you make changes to yourself, or try to handle the relationship differently.

In that situation, hard as it may be, you might need to cut your losses or put a lot of space into the relationship. Don’t put yourself into abuse ‘because it’s Christmas’ or ‘because they’re still my family’. Find a good therapist or counsellor for yourself. Work on you. Get a support network. If you’re an adult you have choices. You don’t need to continue to suffer that kind of behaviour. As a parent you don’t need to expose your child to that kind of behaviour.

 

When You’ve Changed and People Can’t Understand That:

We all grow and change over time. Some of us slowly. Some of us fast. If you’ve travelled extensively, and your family and friends haven’t. If you went to war. If you lost your partner to cancer. If you experienced trauma or chronic illness or some kind of ecstatic spiritual transformation…

Shared experiences are one of the things that unite us. If our loved ones haven’t got that same frame of reference you lose ground and connection. It can be easy to become distant. It isn’t that they don’t love you. It’s just that they don’t understand.

So, don’t expect them to. There will be other people who know what you are going through. Find them, and use them for mutual support and sharing. Or hold your experience close and sacred.

Image from www.alz.org

Image from www.alz.org

Reconnect with family and friends by exploring the things you DO share in common. Old memories, family traditions, people and places that mean something that links you to each other.

We can still be loved, and be part of a family or group, and yet not be fully known or seen or understood. Truth is, sometimes we can even be a mystery to ourselves…

 

When You’ve Changed For The Better and People Can’t Accept That:

Sometimes we grow, and the people around us can’t cope with the fact that we are different. Sometimes we’ve done our best to fit in but we can’t keep pretending. Sometimes we reach a point where we can’t tolerate a situation or relationship because it doesn’t align with our ethics and values, or we will no longer tolerate victimisation, bullying, abuse or unhealthy behaviours. Sometimes we become better, wiser, stronger, more educated, or in other ways different to how we were. We outgrow lovers, friends, and even families.

In certain circumstances we can choose to hide or minimise that change for short periods of time in order to maintain relationships or family harmony. But if you are put down for your transformation, if you are rejected or victimised because of your choices, if you experience abuse – verbal, emotional or otherwise, then it’s time to leave that relationship behind, and to create relationships with people who value you. Value yourself first. Value yourself enough to walk away from those who belittle and diminish you.

Above all, Lilly, It’s important that you value and love yourself. That you make healthy choices for yourself and for your children. That you allow yourself to be valued by others and that you stand up for yourself, protect yourself, and keep yourself and your children out of situations that are abusive and toxic.

Create the life you want for yourself through mindful choices and actions. Grieve the loss of the way things could have been, but don’t dwell on it. Be the person and mum that is you evolving as your best self. Know that in doing that you’ll attract to you the sorts of people who will fit better with who you are and who you are becoming.

Sending so much love your way, Nicole xoxo

Extra Coping Tools

You might find these posts helpful too:

How to get through the hard stuff

How to deal with toxic people

Crystals for highly sensitive people

Free Guided Meditation for the Solar Plexus Chakra

Guided Meditation for Emotional Healing

you-are-enough (1)

 

 

A Christmas Gift for Yourself

“You’re gorgeous, you old hag, and if I could give you just one gift ever for the rest of your life it would be this. Confidence. It would be the gift of confidence. Either that or a scented candle.”
~ David Nicholls, One Day

 

I was talking with a girlfriend yesterday. A very organised girlfriend who’s a bit of a mother figure to me. She’s had the family Christmas shopping done months ago, and everything is wrapped, waiting to go under the tree.

‘Gee,’ she said, ‘I wonder what abominations I’ll get this year…’

I asked her what she meant.

‘All I want is a good nightie. A comfortable one in soft cotton that’s nice to sleep in. I give hints all year, but the kids and grandkids always get me some horrible thing with cartoon animals, or David gets me some lacy sexy thing that appeals to him but is scratchy and synthetic and awful.’

‘Could you go with them to choose it?’ I asked.

‘No! Then it wouldn’t be a surprise.’ My friend pulled a pouty face worthy of a five-year-old.

I smiled. She is adorable at nearly sixty, and one of the kindest, most thoughtful people I know. ‘Would there be better presents for them to get you?’ I asked.

‘Yes!’ she said. ‘Books, chocolate, bath products, perfume. Any of those would be good. Even a colouring book. The complete Harry Potter series would be even better. I’ve alway wanted to read that.’

Image from twosistergethealthy.wordpress.com

Image from twosistergethealthy.wordpress.com

‘Well, tell them that’s what you want. Write a list for them even. Then go buy yourself the nightie you want and put it under the tree from Santa for you. That way everyone’s happy.’

‘But I can’t do that!’ she protested. ‘Christmas is about you being thoughtful for other people, and them being thoughtful for you.’

And therein lies the problem. Worth. Not everyone is as thoughtful or observant or organised as my friend. No-one else knows that her definition of Christmas is about other people being as thoughtful for her as she is for them. Or that thoughtfulness is a soft cotton nightie. Why can’t my friend be thoughtful for herself too?

You’re always doomed to disappointment with a set-up like that.

Christmas is not a test of love and worthiness. Don’t treat it as such. Don’t wait for others to demonstrate your worthiness based upon a framework they can’t even access.

I get that surprises are wonderful. You can get a surprise from the smallest thing. A surprise means you didn’t know what gift you’d get. Surprise! Let the gifts others give you be accepted in the spirit of surprise, gratitude and appreciation. Or good manners, if that is all you can muster, and especially if there was no thought, love or care reciprocated.

This year, if you really have your heart set on something, give it to yourself. You are worthy of the thought and consideration you give others. You are worthy enough to spend your own money on you.

My Christmas gift to myself this year is going to be prawns in white sauce served on toast with a glass of champagne. That was Ceddie and Marga’s (my grandparents on my mum’s side) favourite Christmas breakfast. I miss them heaps, especially at Christmas. My husband doesn’t like prawns. That’s okay. I’ve asked him and he wants a full-on Canadian breakfast. We have the technology to do that.

It’s okay to be kind and thoughtful to yourself, and to meet your own needs. If you don’t treat yourself like that, how will other people know to do that?

Big love and hugs, Nicole xx

Looking Back at Me

Looking Back Through Time by Lady Victoire Deviantart.com

Looking Back Through Time by Lady Victoire Deviantart.com

“We look back on our life as a thing of broken pieces, because our mistakes and failures are always the first to strike us, and outweigh in our imagination what we have accomplished and attained.”
~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Maxims and Reflections

 

It’s odd, this process of writing about yourself. Seldom do we truly take the time to look back on our lives without being caught in the emotion of the moment, or the memories.

I need to be objective now, to get my facts right as I finish the job of editing this memoir. I’m sifting through old diaries, notebooks, photographs and scraps of paper.

I held some photos in my lap today. I can’t share them with you. To do so would be to trespass the privacy of others, long gone from my life.

I have few photographs of myself. I’d always thought myself so ugly. I’ve been entirely self-conscious, and as this strange unnamed illness (that turned out to be Lyme) progressed through my late teens and early twenties I hid more and more from the lens.

But here they are, these frozen moments in time. What strikes me is that the me I see is so different to the way I’d remembered myself. There was grace there. Elegance even. My own fresh young beauty. And so much hope, still. So much hope in those eyes of mine. So much life and love and emotion.

It made me fall in love with myself. It broke me open with tenderness.

How I wish all of us could reach back through time and whisper in our own ears that we are beautiful, and precious, so that we might live more fully and be more emboldened in our choices.

Too late for the past, but not for today. As I lay down to sleep tonight I will whisper that truth. I am beautiful. I am precious. My dreams are important. It’s never too late…

Is Your Self Talk Blocking Your Success?

Image from pinterest.com

Image from pinterest.com

“Our doubts are traitors,
and make us lose the good we oft might win,
by fearing to attempt.”
~ William Shakespeare, Measure for Measure

 

I’m on Retreat right now, teaching beginners how to channel. Yesterday was a big day, as the students worked through a number of activities to connect them to their guides and the beginning of being in that channelling space.

Most of the time they had their eyes shut while I guided them through meditations and visualisations. So they couldn’t see what was happening.

But I could. I can see auras and energy, and I was able to clearly see what was going on for each of them.

Everyone made a strong connection. I could clearly see the change in the auras, and in their chakras. I could see so much that they couldn’t. They could only go on trust.

I also saw something else. A couple of my students started running an old pattern of self-talk through their head. I’m sure some of you will know it. It sounded something like this:

Why am I here? I’m the only person who isn’t getting this? I can’t do this. This is stupid. I am stupid. Why did I even come? Everyone will laugh at me. I’m letting everybody down. I am never going to be able to do this. People are going to know I’m a fraud. I’m such a loser. I never get anything right. I should just leave.

So I’m seeing this battle going on inside their heads.

And I’m also seeing that THEY ARE DOING IT. That they have made a strong and true connection. I know that if the self talk stopped, they would be sitting in wonder right now, or curiosity, or excitement, or joy… But all they hear is their own voices, or that of a critical parent or partner or other non-supportive person. It’s a voice that starts off as a whisper and ends as a shout that drowns out all other thought, all other sound, it’s a voice that denies us truth and keeps us small.

This is my job. To see these old patterns, and to help my students break through that self-doubt and into a place of trust and expectation. So I quietly worked through this with a few people. I reassured. I gave feedback and suggestions. I called them on their behaviour. We talked about ways to do things with a sense of awareness of old unhelpful patterns so that if they slipped into that negative self-talk again they would recognise it and stop, speak helpfully to themselves and resume their practice. Or ignore that voice and keep going.

It got me to thinking.

Where in my own life am I blocking my success because of my doubts and fears?

Where are you running old patterns that stop you seeing that you CAN do it, that you ARE doing it, that you DO have talent and ability? Because I know that you and I were given our dreams for a reason.

I have great faith and belief in my students. My students also teach me. I sat humbled this morning after my meditation, knowing that this behaviour, this negative self-talk is something we all do. Knowing that it keeps us small. That it keeps us trapped. That it might make us stop trying, or walk away from something where we would have succeeded over time, or that would have given us meaning or comfort or pleasure.

Self talk can be a positive voice or a negative one. I encourage you to start paying attention to your inner dialogue. When it becomes critical and makes you feel inadequate, stop. Actively choose a better thought.

Better thoughts and positive self talk will change your world.

Thinking of you and holding you in my heart, Nicole <3 xoxo

Image from notsalmon.com

Image from notsalmon.com

3 Affirmations to Change Your Life

“Sometimes, little things make a big difference…”
~ Nino Varsimashvili

 

Every morning when I wake up, before I get out of bed, before I pray or meditate, before I do anything else at all, I say a little affirmation.

In fact, sometimes I will chant it like a mantra. In my head, or if I really need the energy boost, out loud.

I have three favourites to choose from, and all of them have been life changing for me.

Let me share them with you:

  1. Something wonderful will happen to me today.
  2. Every day in every way I am getting better and better.
  3. I am stronger than this.

Three short and simple sentences that can change your life too.

I love the magical feel of number one. Something wonderful will happen to me today. It has brought many joyful opportunities and synchronicities into my life. It’s fun. It helps you celebrate life. It sets up a vibration of joyful anticipation, honing focus and gratitude.

Number two also opens me up to allowing. It unlocks my ability to expand and grow. It has attracted teachers, new directions, inspiration, breakthroughs, healing and miracles. Every day in every way I am getting better and better.

When I am in the hole, when life is weighing me down and my coping abilities are stretched to the limit I pull out number three. I am stronger than this. I am stronger than negative people. I am stronger than trauma or tragedy. I am stronger than ignorance or lyme disease or whatever other crappy life circumstances I am currently dealing with. I am stronger than this.

I also have an embarrassing affirmation confession. One of my most spectacular self-evident affirmation successes came from a challenge I set out to the Universe from a place of great skepticism. You can read about my ‘secret power’ affirmation here.

My Embarrassing Affirmation Confession.

Why not work with these affirmations over the following week and see how they work for you?

Lots of love, Nicole <3 xoxo

Reflections From A Cancer Clinic Waiting Room

Image from pixgood.com

Image from pixgood.com

“From even the greatest of horrors irony is seldom absent.”
~ H.P. Lovecraft, Tales of H.P. Lovecraft

A small family cluster of us sat endlessly in the waiting room of a cancer clinic yesterday.

It was a busy place, at a busy hospital. On the way to the clinic, we’d passed a young woman who had lost her eye, a man in a wheelchair missing a foot, a series of shuffling and shambling patients of various ages.

There were hosts of worried relatives in thrown-together outfits, looking careworn and in need of coffee and a hug.

The waiting room was packed. We found seats underneath a television screen we could not see. But I listened to the running commentary.

The irony was not lost on me. Television spruikers talked about the importance of skin care and maintaining our youthful appearance. Life was better with young skin. You would be more popular, and get better jobs. You could look  like a movie star. Then there was a miracle exercise machine to effortlessly melt fat. It came with complimentary mineral makeup. Call now!

How truly offensive it was, listening to these paid presenters playing to our insecurities. Deprived of the pictures, the commentary took on a lewd ignorance.

Here I was, surrounded by people fighting for their lives.

For some, the fight isn’t going well. For some, the fight will be lost.

People bald from chemo, their skin fragile, bruised and thin, their faces bloated and round or gaunt and pale, looked away from the screen. I saw beauty in every single one. I witnessed the most tender exchanges of love and care. I saw how valued and precious each person was to their family and friends.

You are beautiful. Life is beautiful. This endless quest for youth and physical perfection is the ugly thing.

Hug your loved ones today. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to the people around you. Don’t buy into that garbage on television and the media. What’s inside you will always matter more that big hair, white teeth or a perfect hip-thigh ratio.

I love you. Right now. Just as you are.

Nicole <3 xoxo

Breaking Inherited and Created Patterns of Low Self-Worth

Image from An Upturned Soul

Image from An Upturned Soul

“As long as you look for someone else to validate who you are by seeking their approval, you are setting yourself up for disaster. You have to be whole and complete in yourself. No one can give you that. You have to know who you are – what others say is irrelevant.”
~ Nic Sheff

 

2014 is a powerful year for clearing  old limiting beliefs and behaviours, especially for those of you brave and wise souls who are choosing to be big ancestral pattern-breakers in your family. 2015 is a year where you’ll be able to fly if you can only get these chains off your wings this year. It is time to do this work, even though the work can be hard.

We inherit all kinds of things from our families – hair colour, body shape, sporting aptitude, quirky humour and survival skills. Some things we learn from them, some we develop for ourselves.

I received a message yesterday from a lovely lass working through this week’s blog challenge. Her message really resonated for me. Perhaps it will for you too;

So I’ve worked out how I’m sabotaging myself, and I realise it’s a learnt behaviour from my father so I don’t get criticised and so I don’t get noticed. Well although I came up with things I can do to stop both the overt and covert ways I do this to myself so my life stays small, my question is how do I break this because knowing hasn’t made it stop. It’s made me notice, but it hasn’t stopped me just not doing what I know I should. So is there something else I can do to break this? As I’m in the crazy ancestral pattern breaking year?
Thanks for the tea, sweets and advice.
Love ya

Oh goodness. Sound familiar?

Have you caught yourself saying that nasty thing your mother said to you during an argument with your own child? Have you watched yourself exhibit that same neurotic obsession as your father, or the bitchiness of your grandmother? Have you done the thing you saw them do and vowed you never would?

OR…

Do you step back into those same childhood patterns of thinking everyone is picking on you as soon as someone questions you, so that you immediately get on the defensive? Do you panic if it’s not perfect because then no-one will love you – a throwback to your childhood insecurity although now you’re well and truly an independent adult?

Image from  The Liberty Beat

Image from The Liberty Beat

You can do something about it, and it’s easier than you think.

In my friend’s case she can work out when she does this thing, and when she catches herself doing it she can conjure an image of her father (and his father – because that is who he learned it from) and loudly say (yes, out loud!) ENOUGH! She might also add I AM NOT MY FATHER! Then she can breathe deeply, smile and affirm I AM ENOUGH. IN FACT, I AM AWESOME!

All you really need to do is arrest that behaviour or thought with a pattern-breaking gesture – by saying out loud ENOUGH! Then distance yourself from that behaviour or thought you no longer want by saying I am not my mother, I am not my father, I am not frightened, or whatever else this pattern is about, and then in that moment of clarity and awareness affirm something true and positive that your younger or wounded self needs to hear. I am enough. I am confident. I am capable. I can do this thing. I choose kindness. Whatever it is that you need and choose, name it. Out loud.

Image from I AM POOPED

Image from I AM POOPED

Then actively choose to behave differently in that moment. That’s a true pattern-breaker. Don’t eat that thing. Don’t say those words. Don’t fly with that limiting belief. Choose what the expanded and wiser version of you will do, and do it gladly.

After you’ve done this a few times you’ll start to recognise this as truth. You ARE wiser, kinder, not your father, worthy of love or success or a good marriage. You’ll be well on your way to reprogramming your old limits, and stepping away from self-sabotage and into that sunshiny place of possibility, peace and growth. You’ll be creating a more truthful and authentic life. You’ll be uncovering your wholeness. That’s a beautiful thing!

Image from Live and Diet

Image from Live and Diet

When I Loved Myself Enough…

Image by Sibel

Image by Sibel

“You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don’t know it, all of that doesn’t even matter. Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away. It’s not like you have forever, so don’t waste any of your seconds, don’t throw even one of your moments away.”
~ C. JoyBell C.

 

After yesterday’s post about using the good china (and all those other good things we put away for special occasions) I received two messages that broke my heart. Here they are:

I cannot tell you how many times I have thrown away expensive chocolates that were ” too good” to eat. Or expensive perfumes and lotions that have turned bad because I was saving them. I have come to realize that I have such low self-esteem, I do not feel worthy. It is something I must work on.

and this…

I don’t feel like I deserve anything nice, Nicole. I don’t even know how loving myself would look. I’m not sure how to be nice to myself. How do you treat yourself well? I’m not even sure what that is.

So, for them, and as a reminder to you, I’ve put together a few ideas.

 

When I loved myself enough, I used the expensive lotions and perfumes that other people gave me. I’d even use them before I went to bed, so that I slept enveloped in a fragrant and beautiful cloud. How heavenly!

Image from Hermeswitch

Image from Hermeswitch

When I loved myself enough I was delighted when anyone gave me a delicious gift of food. I’d eat it slowly, or fast, or anyway I wanted, because every mouthful was an affirmation of love from the giver. And even better – yum!

Image from The Wendy House

Image from The Wendy House

When I loved myself enough I wore my good jewellery, even if it was to the school play, or afternoon tea on my own somewhere. I delighted in playing dress-ups, even though I was now grown up. Who doesn’t enjoy looking pretty? I enjoyed feeling the link with the place or person or memory connected with those jewels. And if the memory was rotten I made up a fantabulous story that made me feel much better, and let me be the hero of my own life.

Image from Wif&Hub

Image from Wif&Hub

When I loved myself enough I occasionally allowed myself to eat chocolate or cake or ice-cream for dinner. Or cheese and biscuits. Sometimes you just need that kind of a dinner after a rough day. And I’d fill myself up with romance novels or excellent old movies or endless youtube funny kitten clips. Most importantly I’d not allow myself a smidgeon of guilt. Who needs guilt if you already feel bad!

When I loved myself enough I chose to nourish my body with good nutritious foods. I cooked myself healthy meals, packed healthy lunches and went to yoga classes or for a walk with my dog. It’s my body and I have to live in it. I may as well keep the joint clean, tidy and in good working order. Anyway, it just feels better. And it’s never too late to start.

Image from Health Maven

Image from Health Maven

When I loved myself enough I realised that life was confusing, crazy and a little bit wild. Of course I’d occasionally look and feel dishevelled, brutalised or downright lost. I was patient with myself and kind. I made sure I got some early nights. I phoned a friend. I hugged my cat/dog/Significant Other/llama/Hello Kitty Pillow and spoke gentle words to myself until I felt better again.

Image by jr-Gong

Image by jr-Gong

When I loved myself enough I understood that I am a soul living in a skin suit. I have to wear that suit every day, and sometimes it stretches, shrinks, changes colour, gets worn-looking or bits break or even fall off. That’s okay. It happens to everyone, and I’ll have to give this suit back one day anyway. They’ll expect it back in used condition. I’ll be one of the lucky ones if I get to keep my skin suit for a long, long time. In the meantime I can nurture it with good food, pretty jewellery and dress-ups, yoga and lotions and perfumes and hugs.

Life is a gift. It’s short, precious, crazy and no-one is getting out of it alive. You might as well treat yourself well and make the best of it!

Heck-of-a-Lot-of-Fun

Kindness Challenge – Week Six

Image from Stone Arch

Image from Stone Arch

“Are we being good ancestors?”
~Jonas Salk

 

Hello Lovelies! Welcome to the sixth and final of our Kindness Challenge.

To participate in today’s challenge all you need to do is select and perform one of the following kindness activities. This week’s challenge is all about leaving a legacy that can benefit others in some way.

I encourage you to explore more than one of the ideas I have listed over time. Not only will these ideas help to leave the world a better place, they will also enrich your life as you are living it. There is a great gift in giving to others; in how we feel about ourselves and regard ourselves. There is also a sense of comfort to be had in being able to shape the future of those around us in positive ways.

Image from youwall.com

Image from youwall.com

Okay, Kindness Ambassadors, let’s go!

  1. Write or record the stories of your life, to leave for your children and grandchildren.
  2. Record or have your grandparents or parents write down the stories from their own lives.
  3. Plant a tree that you will never live to see fully grown.
  4. Write down all the family recipes in a book you can give to a younger relative.

    Image from FamilyHistory4U

    Image from FamilyHistory4U

  5. Encourage people. You never know what that encouragement might lead to, or who will be able to thank you later in life for your kind words, or having had faith in them.
  6. Donate to charity or tithe as part of your daily life. Give money to organisations or individuals whose values you admire or that sit well with your own.
  7. Join a political party, or other organisation whose aim is to serve others and to shape the world in some way. Join because you care, and want to help change things. Join because you want to be involved, to contribute.

    Image of Sea Shepherd Crew from All Road Sat

    Image of Sea Shepherd Crew from All Road Sat

  8. Write letters to your loved ones, that can be given to them after your passing.
  9. Love your family and friends well, so that your love lives on in their hearts and memories after you are gone.
  10. Use your talents and gifts. Do what you can to refine and polish these things within you. Be the best that you can be in your chosen field, hobby or interest.
  11. Live with passion.
  12. Strive for excellence in what matters to you. As you lift yourself up, you lift those around you, you set a good example, and you can mentor others.
  13. Pass your values and skills on to others. Don’t worry if what you share is a life skill. Teaching someone to knit, to cook an egg, or to tie a knot is as valuable as teaching a complex science. There is strength, wisdom and beauty in skills passed down, enriching each generation. And the memories that are made!

    Elizabeth teaches Katie to knit - Image by Elizabeth Voss

    Elizabeth teaches Katie to knit – Image by Elizabeth Foss

  14. Prepare your will. Put thought into it. Update it as needed.
  15. Record the names, dates and locations for your old photographs. If you have elderly relatives, offer to do this with them while they still remember.
  16. Donate information, images and old items to museums or historical associations.
  17. Organise to donate your organs. You won’t need them if you die, but you could give someone else the most precious of gifts – life!
  18. If you want to have children, get healthy and be in the best shape you can be before conception. Look after yourself during pregnancy. Don’t drink or smoke. Gift your child a healthy start to life.
  19. If you are an artist, a writer, a thinker, an inventor, a cook, a creator, a builder. a nutty professor – leave a body of work behind. Books, music, paintings, papers, recipes,philosophy, inventions,constructions, creations.

    Millais_-_Christus_im_Hause_seiner_Eltern

    Christ in the House of His Parents – painted 1849 – By Sir John Everett Millais

  20. Provide emotional support to someone in need.
  21. Create a family scrapbook or photo album.
  22. Record the history of artifacts you’re received from others For example, if there is a piece of furniture, jewelry, or an embroidered article write down the history of the piece and how it came to you. Accompany your history with photos and information about how to best care for and use the item.
  23. Be honest, and live with integrity.
  24. Don’t give up when you fail. So many of life’s successes came after many, many failures.
  25. Live from your heart, be brave enough to be vulnerable, love deeply.