“You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don’t know it, all of that doesn’t even matter. Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away. It’s not like you have forever, so don’t waste any of your seconds, don’t throw even one of your moments away.”
~ C. JoyBell C.
After yesterday’s post about using the good china (and all those other good things we put away for special occasions) I received two messages that broke my heart. Here they are:
I cannot tell you how many times I have thrown away expensive chocolates that were ” too good” to eat. Or expensive perfumes and lotions that have turned bad because I was saving them. I have come to realize that I have such low self-esteem, I do not feel worthy. It is something I must work on.
I don’t feel like I deserve anything nice, Nicole. I don’t even know how loving myself would look. I’m not sure how to be nice to myself. How do you treat yourself well? I’m not even sure what that is.
So, for them, and as a reminder to you, I’ve put together a few ideas.
When I loved myself enough, I used the expensive lotions and perfumes that other people gave me. I’d even use them before I went to bed, so that I slept enveloped in a fragrant and beautiful cloud. How heavenly!
When I loved myself enough I was delighted when anyone gave me a delicious gift of food. I’d eat it slowly, or fast, or anyway I wanted, because every mouthful was an affirmation of love from the giver. And even better – yum!
When I loved myself enough I wore my good jewellery, even if it was to the school play, or afternoon tea on my own somewhere. I delighted in playing dress-ups, even though I was now grown up. Who doesn’t enjoy looking pretty? I enjoyed feeling the link with the place or person or memory connected with those jewels. And if the memory was rotten I made up a fantabulous story that made me feel much better, and let me be the hero of my own life.
When I loved myself enough I occasionally allowed myself to eat chocolate or cake or ice-cream for dinner. Or cheese and biscuits. Sometimes you just need that kind of a dinner after a rough day. And I’d fill myself up with romance novels or excellent old movies or endless youtube funny kitten clips. Most importantly I’d not allow myself a smidgeon of guilt. Who needs guilt if you already feel bad!
When I loved myself enough I chose to nourish my body with good nutritious foods. I cooked myself healthy meals, packed healthy lunches and went to yoga classes or for a walk with my dog. It’s my body and I have to live in it. I may as well keep the joint clean, tidy and in good working order. Anyway, it just feels better. And it’s never too late to start.
When I loved myself enough I realised that life was confusing, crazy and a little bit wild. Of course I’d occasionally look and feel dishevelled, brutalised or downright lost. I was patient with myself and kind. I made sure I got some early nights. I phoned a friend. I hugged my cat/dog/Significant Other/llama/Hello Kitty Pillow and spoke gentle words to myself until I felt better again.
When I loved myself enough I understood that I am a soul living in a skin suit. I have to wear that suit every day, and sometimes it stretches, shrinks, changes colour, gets worn-looking or bits break or even fall off. That’s okay. It happens to everyone, and I’ll have to give this suit back one day anyway. They’ll expect it back in used condition. I’ll be one of the lucky ones if I get to keep my skin suit for a long, long time. In the meantime I can nurture it with good food, pretty jewellery and dress-ups, yoga and lotions and perfumes and hugs.
Life is a gift. It’s short, precious, crazy and no-one is getting out of it alive. You might as well treat yourself well and make the best of it!