“Our doubts are traitors,
and make us lose the good we oft might win,
by fearing to attempt.”
~ William Shakespeare, Measure for Measure
I’m on Retreat right now, teaching beginners how to channel. Yesterday was a big day, as the students worked through a number of activities to connect them to their guides and the beginning of being in that channelling space.
Most of the time they had their eyes shut while I guided them through meditations and visualisations. So they couldn’t see what was happening.
But I could. I can see auras and energy, and I was able to clearly see what was going on for each of them.
Everyone made a strong connection. I could clearly see the change in the auras, and in their chakras. I could see so much that they couldn’t. They could only go on trust.
I also saw something else. A couple of my students started running an old pattern of self-talk through their head. I’m sure some of you will know it. It sounded something like this:
Why am I here? I’m the only person who isn’t getting this? I can’t do this. This is stupid. I am stupid. Why did I even come? Everyone will laugh at me. I’m letting everybody down. I am never going to be able to do this. People are going to know I’m a fraud. I’m such a loser. I never get anything right. I should just leave.
So I’m seeing this battle going on inside their heads.
And I’m also seeing that THEY ARE DOING IT. That they have made a strong and true connection. I know that if the self talk stopped, they would be sitting in wonder right now, or curiosity, or excitement, or joy… But all they hear is their own voices, or that of a critical parent or partner or other non-supportive person. It’s a voice that starts off as a whisper and ends as a shout that drowns out all other thought, all other sound, it’s a voice that denies us truth and keeps us small.
This is my job. To see these old patterns, and to help my students break through that self-doubt and into a place of trust and expectation. So I quietly worked through this with a few people. I reassured. I gave feedback and suggestions. I called them on their behaviour. We talked about ways to do things with a sense of awareness of old unhelpful patterns so that if they slipped into that negative self-talk again they would recognise it and stop, speak helpfully to themselves and resume their practice. Or ignore that voice and keep going.
It got me to thinking.
Where in my own life am I blocking my success because of my doubts and fears?
Where are you running old patterns that stop you seeing that you CAN do it, that you ARE doing it, that you DO have talent and ability? Because I know that you and I were given our dreams for a reason.
I have great faith and belief in my students. My students also teach me. I sat humbled this morning after my meditation, knowing that this behaviour, this negative self-talk is something we all do. Knowing that it keeps us small. That it keeps us trapped. That it might make us stop trying, or walk away from something where we would have succeeded over time, or that would have given us meaning or comfort or pleasure.
Self talk can be a positive voice or a negative one. I encourage you to start paying attention to your inner dialogue. When it becomes critical and makes you feel inadequate, stop. Actively choose a better thought.
Better thoughts and positive self talk will change your world.
Thinking of you and holding you in my heart, Nicole <3 xoxo