“Look to your heart and soul first, rather than looking to your head first, when choosing. Rather than what you think, consider instead how you feel. Look to the nature of things. Feel your choices and decisions. It just might change everything.”
~ Jeffrey R. Anderson
Today I have a favour to ask of you. Today I’d like you to choose for yourself.
You might think that’s an odd request. You might also think it doesn’t apply to you. But if you are in love, empathic, sensitive, a parent, a partner, a people-pleaser or a soother of others I think it does.
You see, so many of us (myself included), will make choices in life with another person in mind. Your sweetheart loves the apple pastry so you take the lemon one. Your friends love sci-fi so you go see the latest movie with them even though it’s a genre you’re not fussed about. Your partner doesn’t eat seafood so you just don’t cook that anymore. When a family member offers to make dinner for you, you ask for spaghetti because that’s the kids’ favourite. You make choices that make others happy. And it’s not a drag for you, honestly. You don’t mind the lemon pastry. It’s good just to hang with your friends. Chicken’s as tasty as fish. It’s just nice to have someone else cook. No biggie, right?
Still. what if you constantly make small choices – ones that don’t really matter to you – that suit the preferences of other people over your own?
It might seem inconsequential but it soon stacks up. How many decisions and choices will you make in a day that completely negate what you might want? What message does that send to the Universe?
Each time you put the well-being and happiness of someone else over your own you are asserting to the Universe that they matter more than you, that their happiness and positive life experience matters more than your own. And even though you may start out being happy to have made someone else happy that joy will eventually wear off if your own needs never get any airplay. What’s worse, you train the people around you that these decisions you make are okay for you, or even great for you. So how will they ever know what you really want? How will they ever know you’d have preferred an apple pastry too? Trust me, this is the kind of behaviour that eventually breeds simmering resentment and misery where the only person who’ll be suffering is you.
So, just for today, I’m asking you to choose for yourself. Choose the cooking show over
That’s okay. Your life is valuable too. Your choices and happiness matter too. This is your one shot at this precious life. Don’t waste it by never giving yourself the chance to experience all the longings of your heart.
Much love, Nicole ❤ xx