“It is best as one grows older to strip oneself of possessions, to shed oneself downward like a tree, to be almost wholly earth before one dies.”
~ Sylvia Townsend Warner
One of our loved ones is elderly and in care. She has dementia and numerous health problems, but until recently she has always alternated between being determined to go home to her own home or being happy to be where she is, within the walls of a place that looks after her and helps her feel safe and connected to others.
Suddenly that’s shifted. Yesterday she told us she no longer wants to be here. She is tired of living, she said. So very tired. She’s had enough. She’s miserable and is it okay that she just wants to go?
She’s lost all interest in food. She’s struggling to keep up with conversations that were okay for her even a week ago. In every way we can see her withdrawing from life.
She’s easing away from us, and as much as it breaks my heart I am also relieved for her. There’s no more fight in her. No more strength. She’s down to her last meagre reserves. Of course it’s okay if she wants to go. It’s her life, and she’ll know when she’s ready. My prayer now is that she really does just slip away.
Sending you all so much love, and my wishes for peace in your life and peace in your heart,
Nicole ❤ xx