What Love Looks Like

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“Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O no, it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wand’ring bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.”

(Sonnet 116)
~ William Shakespeare, Shakespeare’s Sonnets


There’s my husband, Ben, collapsed on the downstairs couch of our city house. Ben had knee surgery yesterday. A surgery he has postponed and postponed because of me. You see, after the surgery he cannot lift anything heavy or pivot on his knee for six weeks.

That’s kind of tricky when you have a wife whose retreats and workshops involve hauling ute-loads of massage tables and boxes of rocks and singing bowls and other heavy things. Ben wanted to be sure that all of my events for the year were finished before he had the operation. Because who else was going to lift and carry all of those boxes?

We’d been told it would be a simple day-surgery procedure. Then, of course, it wasn’t. The operation went well, but was much longer and more complex than they’d expected.

Still, when it was all over and Ben was finally taken to recovery, hours after I’d expected him home, he declined to stay overnight. He just wanted to come home.

I made him up a bed on the couch, because he needs to stay quiet and immobile for the next three days. No driving for a week.

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Nurse Bert and Harry haven’t left his side. There wasn’t enough room for both dogs to lie on the couch all night with Ben, so Harry snuggled in and Bert lay opposite, and there they have stayed. With the occasional swap between them so everyone gets a turn on the couch. And the occasional crazy all-on-the-couch-together moment. They love their Dad!

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That’s what love looks like. Tired dad on the couch, with a dog protector beside him, and one opposite. A tired wife who leaves her comfortable bed and sneaks downstairs to sleep on the other couch because she is lonely and she loves them all and doesn’t want her man out of her sight.

Ben’s sore and groggy this morning, but glad he came home. So am I. Now it’s my turn to look after him.

We’re going to have a quiet few rest days here before we head back to the farm. We both need it. It’s been a big year, and I worked out last night that I haven’t had a proper day off since before my birthday, back in September. After all of that Sustainable Madness we need a little down time now.

For those of you who are doing the Year of ME 2016 year-long course and support forum, I’ll see you online on Sunday, after we launch. There’s still time to join us – more info here.

Much love, Nicole <3 xx

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Hi! I'm Nicole Cody. I am a writer, psychic, metaphysical teacher and organic farmer. I love to read, cook, walk on the beach, dance in the rain and grow things. Sometimes, to entertain my cows, I dance in my gumboots. Gumboot dancing is very under-rated.
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9 thoughts on “What Love Looks Like

  1. Healing light to Ben. “Thank you, Bert and Harry, for minding Ben’s mending.” Love it that you slept on the other couch just for the nearness-love factor. Blessings Be upon each of you.

  2. I hope Ben has a speedy recovery. He’s in good hands, or should I say, paws. Must be a week for knees. My brother had a partial knee replacement yesterday. He’s home tonight being tending to by a toy poodle I’m sure.

  3. Very sweet of the dogs. They know don’t they. Wishing Ben a slow but steady recovery – slow is good ! Sounds like nap city for everyone in the household over the next few days xxx

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