I’m Not Ashamed

“If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive.” 
~ Brené Brown

‘Oh, Nicole!’ That’s how the email started.

‘Darling friend, I’m so sorry to hear you are still battling Lyme disease. I hope you’re on the mend soon. Just wanted to give you some advice. What you write stays on the internet forever unless you decide to remove it, and even then it may be too late. So why on earth did you write about having incontinence? Nic, pull it down as soon as you can. That kind of stuff is so damaging for your image, and if you ever get a publishing deal you’ll regret this kind of over-sharing. Trust me.’

Hmmm….

Over-sharing? I don’t think so. Damaging? Some people will judge me, for sure. But they are not my people. You, dear readers, are my people.

Here’s what I know about my tribe, and about life in general.

Shit happens. Terrible, awful things can happen to good people for no reason. Life-changing accidents can happen in the blink of an eye. Wear and tear, illness and calamity can render the most sound of bodies and minds suddenly limpy, broken or cobbled together with tape, string, tears, stubbornness and fervent prayers. Many illnesses and incapacities are invisible. People live with all kinds of pains, traumas and problems that most people around them will never even guess at.

Right now I am suffering from neurological incontinence. Inflammation in my brain and nerves makes a signal go haywire and sends a message to my bladder instructing it to void. Which it does with no permission from me. One minute I have a full bladder, the next minute my bladder is emptying wherever I happen to be and no matter what I am wearing, doing or what my plans might be. It’s happened to me dozens of times over the years since I first began treatment for Lyme, and my solution is adult diapers. Which mostly work, and sometimes don’t.

People can suffer from neurological incontinence as a side effect of MS, advanced Lyme disease, brain or spinal cord injury, brain lesions, degenerative brain diseases, or the long term effects of radiation or cancer treatment, alcoholism or diabetes. It affects men and women, children through to people in old age. It affects me.

One day it may affect you or someone you love.

Few of us get a free pass through life with no adverse side-effects! My dear friend Carly-Jay and I often have a laugh over the bits of our bodies or bodily functions that fail us. We belong to a club of people who live well despite how our bodies sometimes misfunction or misbehave. We call that club the Unreliable Club and I’m sure some of you are already card-carrying members. (Maybe we need t-shirts!)

When I was first diagnosed with neurological incontinence (which comes and goes in me – I last had an attack a few years ago!) I looked everywhere for information and found almost none. It’s something no-one talks about.

So, I’m talking about it here. It’s not the end of the world. It can be managed. And it’s nothing to be ashamed of.

It’s just wee. Everyone does it. Every single day. It’s a normal part of life, and for some people it’s a part of life that doesn’t work well for any number of reasons. If more people talked openly about this kind of thing we’d realise just how prevalent these kinds of issues are AND THEY ARE NOTHING FOR WHICH YOU NEED EVER FEEL SHAME.

The Continence Foundation of Australia offers the following statistics:

  • Urinary incontinence affects up to 13% of Australian men and up to 37% of Australian women (Australian Institute of Health and Welfare report, 2006).
  • 65% of women and 30% of men sitting in a GP waiting room report some type of urinary incontinence, yet only 31% of these people report having sought help from a health professional (Byles & Chiarelli, 2003: Help seeking for urinary incontinence: a survey of those attending GP waiting rooms, Australian and New Zealand Continence Journal).
  • 70% of people with urinary leakage do not seek advice and treatment for their problem (Millard, 1998: The prevalence of urinary incontinence in Australia, Australian and New Zealand Continence Journal).
  • An Australian study found that over a three month period, 50% of women aged 45-59 years of age experienced some degree of mild, moderate or severe urinary incontinence (Millard, 1998: The prevalence of urinary incontinence in Australia, Australian and New Zealand Continence Journal). 
  • The prevalence of urge incontinence, which is strongly associated with prostate disease, is fairly low in younger males and increases to 30% for those aged 70-84 and 50% for those 85 years and over (Australian Institute of Health and Welfare report, 2006).

It’s wee. It’s not working in a very controlled manner in me just now. That’s okay. I have bigger stuff to think about. This is just small stuff, not worth sweating over.

If you feel the need to unfollow me, unfriend me or avoid me because of my bladder control issues and embarrassing habit of oversharing then go right ahead. I’ll still be here for you when life gets bumpy. And then I’ll remind you that you can still live the dream while rocking adult diapers and I won’t love you any less for it. Instead, I’ll be cheering you on!

Much love, Nicole xx

I’m Stepping Away From Work For A Few Days

“It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things.” 
~ Lemony Snicket

Hi, Lovelies.

Just letting you know that I am stepping away from my blog and my work for a few days and will be back again next Monday.

Yesterday morning we lost a loved one and so I am taking some time out to be with family. It’s one of those times where we need to sit and be with each other and talk about things and drink tea and laugh and cry and re-adjust.

Life is all about these cycles of love and life and loss, and I need to take time to honour this changing season in our lives.

Ben and I thank you for all your love and support,

Nicole ❤ xx

Why Being ‘Nice’ Can Be Poisonous To Your Soul


“Share your weaknesses. Share your hard moments. Share your real side. It’ll either scare away every fake person in your life or it will inspire them to finally let go of that mirage called “perfection,” which will open the doors to the most important relationships you’ll ever be a part of.” 
~ Dan Pearce

Lovelies, today I want to share my perspective on ‘making nice’ with you.

Kindness is a loving balm, understanding is a mental tonic, compassion grows our hearts, love is food for the soul, but niceness? Far too often niceness is a poison administered to ourselves by our own hand.

There is a trend (and I recognise it because I once was in that same place!) where people beginning to become spiritually aware try to live from a place of unconditional love. That’s a beautiful thing, but too often what gets practised is not actually unconditional love but ‘niceness’.

Many people consider niceness to be a virtue; a sign of living from heart, and acting from love. I’m not referring to kindness, or good manners, or amiability. I’m talking here about pleasing others, not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings, and being agreeable and amenable, even if it comes at a high cost to yourself.

Speaking our truth honours us, and it teaches us honest and direct communication that honours and respects others. Can we come from a place of unconditional love and still speak our truth? Absolutely! Because the premise of unconditional love is that we also love ourselves.

Authenticity requires us to live with honesty – not with silencing ourselves or suppressing our true thoughts and emotions.

Niceness is not about unconditional love – it is about giving up honesty in order to avoid disapproval, confrontation, rejection, ridicule or embarrassment. It elevates the happiness and well-being of others above your own. It is based on falseness, and by its nature, niceness prevents honesty and authenticity. When you come from niceness you teach others to devalue you, and disrespect you. You do not set clear boundaries.

Niceness does not come from a heart-centred life. It grows out of fear and a lack of self-worth. It is a behaviour that goes counter to our intuitive wisdom, and to those gut-based mechanisms that keep us safe.  We tell people what they want to hear, we do and say things to keep others happy or to keep the peace. We act in a way that pleases others but that robs us of a little (or a big bit!) of ourselves.

There is always a way to tell the difference between being nice and being kind.  Kindness comes from a place of being centred, and it empowers us.  It strengthens us, as it strengthens others. We can act with generosity or compassion and there is no cost to us, or it is a cost we willingly bear.  We give without expecting anything in return, for the sake of uplifting others.

Niceness always leaves you with an aftertaste – you know you have’t spoken truthfully; you feel that twang of inauthentic energy, that twinge of discomfort, or you even get that sense of being taken for granted or taken for a ride.

Niceness diminishes us, even when it strengthens others. We bite our tongue in order to say the flattering thing, we do the act with a little flame of resentment in our heart. And sometimes it starts out as kindness – but our kindness becomes expected, or disrepected – we are taken advantage of but we are unable to speak up about that and voice our own feelings. So we act nice instead.

When we choose niceness it poisons us.  It leads to depression, anxiety, shame, emotional distress, guilt, anger and despair.   Life-long patterns of niceness leave us open to exploitation and invite difficult, damaging and dangerous relationships into our lives.

We end up doing things we don’t want to do – we can become an entirely different person to who we are on the inside. We can lose ourselves so completely that we have no idea any more what makes us happy, what our preferences are, what we want in life…

Taken to extremes, through living a life of niceness we can cease to exist. Instead, we become a support role in someone else’s life. We become Cinderella, at home scrubbing the floors while her stepsisters are out having fun!

Are you too nice?

Maybe it’s time to start honouring your own truth. Love starts with the self, and healthy self-esteem can only be built by standing up for yourself, giving your feelings a voice, and attending to your own needs.  You can do that and still be polite.  You can do that and still be kind.  You can do that and still be likeable, lovable and accepted.  Don’t keep drinking that from that poisonous niceness bottle!

And if your acts of self-respect and kindness aren’t taken well by others? Maybe it’s time to  get some space, maybe it’s time to stop giving, maybe it’s time to move on… If you have to be ‘nice’ in order for your life to work, the price will always be too high.

You might be surprised. As you begin voicing your honest thoughts, you give others permission to do the same. Being authentic can create great change. It invites miracles. And this week supports that kind of energy, so be brave and embrace your truth then live from that space and watch the magic begin to happen in your life. Choose love. Choose kindness. And above all, be true to yourself. It’s worth it! 

Much love, Nicole ❤ xx

Image from www.simplereminders.com

Valentine Chocolate Oracle for Manifesting Love!

You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
~ Dr. Seuss

Valentine’s Day has a wonderful sentiment – that we should celebrate love and lovers, that we should name the emotions that often sit silent in our heart.

But why have just one day for the celebration of love?  Why not live with that sense of appreciation and joy every day! And of course it’s not just for the young, for couples, and for romantic love.  Love is an emotion that is available to us all.

Today’s blog gives you a mini-reading about love, in many different forms. It’s not a fortune-telling exercise for finding a soul mate, instead it’s about letting more love into your life. All you need to do is scroll through the pictures of my Valentine Chocolates, and choose the one that appeals to you most. Then go further down the page to read the meaning for the chocolate treat you have chosen.

♥♥♥ Love, love, love to you, Nicole xoxo ♥♥♥

Today’s Chocolate Selection:

1. ♥ Kaleidoscope of Colour

2. ♥ Sprinkle of Magic

3. ♥ Everything’s Rosy

4. ♥ Elegant Luxury

5. ♥ Set The Mood

6. ♥ Wholesome Simplicity

7. ♥ Pure Soulfood

8. ♥ My Sweet Treat

♥ The Love Message and Gift of each Chocolate♥

Each Valentine Chocolate has a message for you. I have also selected a crystal to best support the message and energies of your chocolate choice.  You could wear or hold this crystal, pop it in your pocket, under your pillow or beside your bed. The Power Word is a word to remind yourself of the quality you most need and that you are strongly attracting right now.  You can turn it into your own personal mantra by saying “I choose ___________ ” (insert your Power Word). Your Magical Healing Environment is a place or activity you’ll find supportive and healing.

♥ 1. Kaleidoscope of Colour – Celebrating the joys of life! Life is about living – not just existing! It’s time to enjoy life’s everyday offerings a little more. Take yourself out to a movie or an art exhibition. Meet a friend for coffee. Go to a concert. Visit someplace near home that you haven’t been before. Go shopping somewhere you’ve always wanted to visit and just appreciate all the choices available to you. Pack a picnic and go visit a favourite outdoor place or picnic on the lounge-room floor of a loved one’s space!  *If you’re in a relationship, or happy on your own, spend your time exploring the world outside your front door. Change up your routines. Find the pleasure in life again! If you’re single think of joining an interest or dinner group – it’s time to put yourself out into the world.  ♥ Best Crystal – Green Aventurine  ♥ Power Word – Enjoyment  ♥ Magical Healing Environment – Anywhere that reminds you of the blessings and opportunities in your life.  Wandering through the city or your favourite mall, an art gallery or favourite cafe, a florist shop or a beautiful garden.

♥ 2. Sprinkle of Magic – Treating yourself well and living your best life. It’s time to value yourself more. You might need a mini-make-over – a new hairstyle, a manicure, a new perfume or cologne, some new clothes that truly suit you and make you look and feel good. It might be time to sort your health out, join that yoga group, and throw out all the junk food. Or maybe it’s time to enrol in that study you’ve always dreamed about. This is your one beautiful life – not some dress rehearsal. You won’t get a chance to do this life over, so make every moment count. *If you’re in a relationship, refresh the energies with some together time and appreciation. Maybe plan a holiday together, or take yourselves out for a special dinner. If you’re happily single, think about your dreams and goals and make one of them a priority. Make sure your life is rich with meaning and satisfaction. If you’re looking for love, aim high. No renovators delights for you. If love doesn’t elevate you and make you feel safe, warm and cherished it’s not worth settling for. ♥ Best Crystal – Citrine  ♥ Power Word – Self-worth ♥ Magical Healing Environment – Anywhere that makes you feel good about yourself. This could be a day spa, a session with a personal stylist, time with your wise and loving Nana, a yoga class or a bookshop. It might be sitting in a lecture theatre or kayaking around the bay.

♥ 3. Everything’s Rosy – Adventures in Sensuality.  It’s time to bring pleasure and sensuality back into your life. Explore tastes and textures, indulge all of your senses, make time for massages, lovemaking, dancing and beautiful food. Buy yourself some gorgeous underwear, perfume or body lotion. Let yourself come alive again. *For couples, find ways to bring magic and pleasure back into your relationship. For happily singles, nurture and nourish your senses.  If you’re looking for love, embrace your sensual side. Think about what pleasure means to you, and get comfortable with it!  ♥ Best Crystal – Garnet  ♥ Power Word –Feel  ♥ Magical Healing Environment – anything that reconnects you to your senses.  Bubble baths, clean sheets, music, dancing, lying in dappled sunlight on soft green grass, ocean swims, perfume and cologne, warm embraces, patisseries and chocolate shops.

♥ 4. Elegant Luxury – Levelling Up In Love and Life. Life is too short to settle for second best. In your job, in your relationships, in your living environment. It’s time to let your life level up. Don’t stay in situations or relationships where you are not happy and fulfilled. Don’t stay friends with people (or family!) who put you down or treat you badly. Value yourself!  *For couples, talk about your future and where your life is headed. Get help if your relationship is in trouble – whether that is counselling to stay together or to exit the relationship. Happily singles – be discerning about your life and reward yourself with things that matter deeply to you.  For those of you seeking love, set your sights high and know that this is the year you can make your romantic dreams come true. ♥ Best Crystal – Tiger Eye  ♥ Power Word – My Highest Potential  ♥ Magical Healing Environment – Change.  Change can be a force for good. Plan out your future, a future that you’ll love. Spend time thinking about what positive changes you can make in your life and know that the Universe is supporting you to do so.

♥ 5. Set The Mood – Love of Knowledge.  Knowledge and learning can be a beautiful thing. Getting to know yourself, getting to know each other, learning about something new, or taking existing knowledge deeper. Classes, courses, books, travel, study – or you out in the world teaching and sharing your own wisdom. This isn’t superficial learning. This is knowledge that transforms and enriches you. *Couples, go travelling together or learn something as a team. Happily singles, indulge in whatever learning takes your fancy, or spend time in conversation with someone you’d like to know better. If you’re single, follow your interests and be brave enough to go deeper with them. Don’t be surprised if love aligns itself to this new you. ♥ Best Crystal – Fluorite ♥ Power Word – Wisdom ♥ Magical Healing Environment – Time for yourself and your interests. Read books, join a course, attend a lecture, go travelling, make space to think deeply and to soak up knowledge.

♥ 6. Wholesome Simplicity – Choose Creativity and Playfulness.  Love expresses itself often through creativity. What do you love to do? Or a better question, what did you ‘used to love to do’? Re-acquaint yourself with lost loves, be that art, craft, music, foods, hobbies, places or activities. Make room for a creative project in your life, or at least rub shoulders with creative spaces for a while. *For couples, find a common creative interest and go do that thing together. For happily singles make room in your life for something that gives you creative joy. For those of you looking for love, join a group or class that supports a creative interest. And watch out for pregnancies – the ultimate form of creativity! ♥ Best Crystal – Any form of Jasper  ♥ Power Word – Explore  ♥ Magical Healing Environment – Anywhere that gets you in that creative mood. Hardware stores, book stores, craft supply shops, kitchen stores, the library, or wherever you can make, create and play.

♥ 7. Pure Soulfood – True Heart Connection.  It’s time to feed your Soul. Who makes your heart sing? Open your heart and connect with them. Spend time with the important people in your life.  It might be your partner, a best friend, a family member or a pet. We sometimes take the love of others for granted.  What can you do to let another know that you value and appreciate them? Don’t forget quality time for yourself too! *If you’re in a relationship, honour and celebrate your togetherness. If you’re happily single, dwell on the things you like about yourself. If you’re looking for love, get clear about what your values are, and what you’re looking for in a partner. Know that you deserve someone who will love you well and just as you are. ♥ Best Crystal – Rose Quartz  ♥ Power Word –Relating ♥ Magical Healing Environment – Togetherness, wherever that works best for you.  Cuddles, time together over a meal or a coffee, phone calls, a movie, spending time doing something you used to do together but don’t get time for anymore. Time communing with a favourite place or hobby.

♥ 8. My Sweet Treat – Stand Up For What You Believe In.  When we sit in our hearts we know what matters. It’s time to stand up for what matters. Maybe you need to start sharing your message or your work. Perhaps it’s time to become an activist or to join a local community group who are working to make one corner of the world a better place. If you chose this oracle the Universe wants you to know that what you care about matters, and that it’s time to give that thing your energy and care. *For couples, have the conversation about what matters to you. Support each other to pursue that thing. For happily singles, go make a stand or start towards that dream of yours. For those of you looking for love, you may well find it on the front line of a protest or at that charity dinner. Go follow your heart and the universe will take care of the rest! ♥ Best Crystal – Carnelian  ♥ Power Word – Empowerment  ♥ Magical Healing Environment – Anywhere that fires your passion and lets you know that your presence matters. Political groups, activist groups, protest groups, organisations or movements for social good, environmental groups, writers groups, support groups, or you on your own, toiling away at your dream!

Want to make the most of your year in 2019?

I have limited hard copies of my beautiful YOM 2019 Planner left. And plenty of copies of the digital version. If you purchase one, or one of the Planner packs (that also have new year direction readings, meditation malas or crystals with them) I’ll gift you a month’s free access to my community and membership site (and a chance to win a year’s free membership!) so you can experience my work, and be well supported in the year ahead. Membership to my online group, courses and YOM community – by subscription or a yearly fee – is also available

You can access the Membership, Planner and Planner Packs here in our store or read more about them here.

Guided Meditation Bundle

I’ve bundled together four powerful guided downloadable meditations and created a companion workbook to support you in your spiritual journey. The Stardust Connection Meditation Bundle will help you to connect with and explore Earth Energies, Ancestor Energies, your Solar Plexus energies and personal power, and the Stardust Energies. There is over an hour’s worth of Guided Meditations and a 38-page workbook. The workbook holds specific instructions for using the four guided meditations, as well as journalling activities and reflection/awareness exercises.

The material in the Stardust Connection Meditation Bundle can be used at any time over the next four years, and beyond. My intention with this bundle is to help you become confident in your direction, your intuition, and your contribution to the unfolding history of the world and humanity. To access the bundle or to learn more about it go to my store or click on this link.

Craft A Visionary Talisman

This online course will help you to select a guiding card for the year ahead, or for a specific project, and then create and activate a Visionary Talisman to anchor helpful energies and qualities to guide and support you in your daily life. It’s practical shamanism, and you’ll learn a range of skills to support you on your spiritual journey. (Of course, if you’re a member of the YOM community you have access to this course for free!) For more information click here or go to my store.

Wishing you a transformative and uplifting week of action. Aim high, give it your best shot, and no matter what you do, be true to YOU!

Lots of love, Nicole  xx

Nicole Cody’s Christmas Gift Oracle ~ For You With Love!


“Your personal truth is your gift to the world.” 
~ Jennifer Elisabeth

Hello Lovelies,

So here we are – another Christmas is upon us.

It’s a joyful time for some, and a trying time for others, and I wanted to acknowledge that, and to remind you that there is always a place here at my table for you. I’m sending you love this Christmas, and remembering you in my thoughts, prayers and meditations.

Now, come sit down with me. Let me pour you a cup of tea while I tell you how glad I am to have you in my life. I’m so grateful to have you as part of our community as we share this journey of life together. Thank you!

Once again I have created an oracle for you. The very first one I ever posted was The Healing Power of Flowers and Fairy Blessings.  We offered a selection of flowers for you to choose from, and each flower came with a message – a mini-reading if you will. It was so well received that I’ve been creating oracles for you ever since.

Today I’m so pleased to offer you another of my Magical Oracles! This time, I’d like you to choose the Christmas Gift that appeals to you the most. Then take your time to unwrap it and receive its message and blessings for you.

Instructions for using today’s post

Scroll down through the following Christmas Gift images and then let yourself come back to the one you are most drawn to.

When you have chosen your gift, scroll further down for your oracle message. Trust that what you most need to know is exactly what you shall choose.

Wherever you are, and whatever your faith and beliefs, I wish you peace today and the days ahead, and joy in your heart. Know that you are loved. Know that you matter to me. I intend only the best for you, and that 2019 be a year that is richly satisfying and filled with love and kindness.

Love and Light, Nicole ❤ xx

Let the Christmas Blessings Begin…

1. ♥ Silver Deer

2. Golden Stars

3. Orbs of Light

4. Natural Beauty

5. Happy Santa

6. Trolley of Wonders

7. Sparkly Gifts

8. Simply Wonderful

♥ Your Gift’s Message ♥

Each Christmas Gift has a message for you for 2019. I have also selected a crystal to best support the message and energies of your chosen gift.  You could wear or hold this crystal, pop it in your pocket, under your pillow or beside your bed. The Power Word is a word to remind yourself of the quality you most need and that you are strongly attracting right now.  You can turn it into your own personal mantra by saying “I choose ___________ ” (insert your Power Word). Your Magical Healing Environment is a place or activity you’ll find supportive and healing.

1.Silver Deer – Emerging Into Light  You’re coming into a time of great change and shift, and all of it for your own best outcomes and results. All of those ideas and dreams need to be given light and space so that they can grow into something tangible in 2019. It’s time for you to shine! It’s a wonderful year ahead. Be brave and keep going. Don’t be afraid to make BIG changes. It’s your year for that. And all of this change will lead to a whole new way of being in the world. ♥ Best Crystal – Ametrine (or an Amethyst and a Citrine)  ♥ Power Word – Transformation ♥ Magical Healing Environment – Quiet time in nature or spaces that nurture and inspire you.  Nature walks, ocean swims, watching the snow or rain fall as you sit inside drinking a warm drink with your journal by your side, being in an art gallery or favourite cafe, a museum or a beautiful garden. Let yourself have time for the inspiration inside you to rise up and be heard.

2. Golden Stars – Healing Blessings The Golden Stars Gift heralds major lasting healing and improvements in your physical and emotional well-being in 2019. You’ll be able to tune in to the wisdom of your body, and will naturally begin to prefer the foods, exercise and other support that best suit your individual needs. You’ll feel a resurgence in energy and mental clarity over the months ahead. You’ll become stronger and increasingly comfortable in your own skin. This newfound health will become the foundation for so many other breakthroughs and advances in your life. ♥ Best Crystal  – CARNELIAN  ♥ Power Word – TRANSFORMATION ♥ Magical Healing Environment – Fresh Air to fill your lungs, to energise you with the sun and healing vibrations of the natural environment, and to get blood pumping through your body as you move around. Resting and meditating in nature is fabulous for you too!

3. Orbs of Light – Bountiful Blessings You are coming into a time of deeper connection, deeper knowing, and deeper intuition. It’s a powerful year ahead for you – one of mystical events and blessings that make every corner of your life feel touched by magic. As you open to your intuitive gifts give yourself some breathing space to contemplate the bigger questions in your life. Make time for reading, meditation and journalling. Expect a bigger connection to God, your Guides and Angels and your own Wise Self. Expect answers to those big questions, and a clarity about your way forward. All is well.  ♥ Best Crystal – LABRADORITE  ♥ Power Word – BECOME  ♥ Magical Healing Environment – Sacred Spaces or alone time. Churches and temples, parks, sitting under old trees, your meditation corner, a library or a quiet corner of the house when no-one else is home.

4. Natural Beauty – Wisdom Blessings This year is fabulous for all forms of learning and study, and for self-development. A year to deepen wisdom, and to expand your mind. A year to master skills. A year for philosophy and deep thinking. A year to truly understand who you are and why you are here. A year that shows you where your life is headed. A year where you will find a deep sense of connection to a path forward or a way to be of service in using your talents and gifts. A year of finding your calling ♥ Best Crystal – LAPIS LAZULI ♥ Power Word – WISDOM  ♥ Magical Healing Environment – Time for thinking, studying and learning.  Libraries, online courses, universities and schools, mastermind groups, workshops and conferences will work well for you this year. Setting up a study or writing space at home will be useful. Find time for long walks in nature, and for meditation too.

5. Happy Santa – Reconnection and Love 2019 brings you back into the flow of life again after too much time on your own. A time to slow down and simplify, a time to connect or reconnect with friends and family, and to make new relationships. A social year, that is enjoyable and meaningful. This is a year all about relationships, connection and enjoyment of everyday life. A nourishing and enjoyable year that sees you develop or deepen relationships that will last the rest of your life. ♥ Best Crystal – RUBY IN ZOISITE ♥ Power Word – HEARTSPACE ♥ Magical Healing Environment – Anywhere you can spend time with people you love and doing things you love.  Coffee with friends, weekend picnics, holidays away, date nights, dinner parties, making music, making art, making love, family time, reunions, travel and socialising – all of these are good for you this year.

6. Trolley of Wonders – Inspiration and Blessed Creation This is a powerful year of creative practice and self-expression for you. This could be renovating your home, writing a book, starting art classes, or putting the things you have made out into the world for others to buy or appreciate. It’s a year for working from your heart, and pouring your heart and soul into everything you do. A year to blossom your creative and life direction, and to deepen your appreciation of your unique individuality and gifts.  Best Crystal – SUNSTONE   Power Word –CREATIVITY ♥ Magical Healing Environment – Your studio, office, workspace or project area. This year you need a combination of inspiration and dedication. Be inspired by other artists or innovators. Take classes. Learn and then stretch yourself in the application of that learning. Spend time creating/making/designing and working on creative projects too. Dedicate yourself to your art or projects. Make them a priority in 2019 and watch how your life changes!

7. Sparkly GiftsLevelling Up In Love and Life!  Life is too short to settle for second best. In your job, in your relationships, in your living environment. In 2019 it’s time to let your life level up. Don’t stay in situations or relationships where you are not happy and fulfilled. Don’t stay friends with people (or family!) who put you down or treat you badly. Value yourself!  If you’re in a relationship talk together about your future and where your life is headed so you can move towards those dreams together. Get help if your relationship is in trouble – whether that is counselling to stay together or to exit the relationship. Be discerning about your life and reward yourself with things that matter deeply to you.  For those of you seeking love, set your sights high and know that this is the year you can make your romantic dreams come true. ♥ Best Crystal – TIGER EYE ♥ Power Word – ABUNDANCE  ♥ Magical Healing Environment – Change.  Change can be a force for good. Plan out your future, a future that you’ll love. Spend time thinking about what positive changes you can make in your life and know that the Universe is supporting you to do so.

8. Simply Wonderful – Sanctuary Blessings What’s needed for you to have a great year in 2019 is a sense of sanctuary – a place where you can feel safe, protected and nurtured. A place where you can be yourself and express yourself. It might be your bedroom, your study, your altar, your backyard. It might be your writing space or your office. It might be your entire home. It needs to be clean. It needs to be comfortable. It needs to make your heart feel glad. It needs to be a space that reflects who you are and what you love. Move if you have to. And if the mess is inside you, get help with that. Do whatever it takes to bring yourself back to a place of inner peace and calm. From that place of sanctuary you’ll see miracles unfold for you in the year ahead. ♥ Best Crystal – SNOWFLAKE OBSIDIAN  ♥ Power Word – SANCTUARY ♥ Magical Healing Environment – Home (whatever that means to you).  Create a space that allows you to feel safe, comfortable, supported and surrounded by beauty and meaning. Start with one small corner. Simple is fine. De-clutter. Make space for rest and new growth.

Navigating Christmas Without A Loved One


“You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.” 
Anne Lamott

Christmas is not always an easy time. There are many of us for whom Christmas brings stark reminders of families broken, loved ones lost, and empty chairs at our tables.

If you are navigating Christmas this year while also grieving loss or going through great struggle I want to reach out to you. In the midst of the barrage of happy Christmas movies, fairytale endings and Hallmark Moments I want you to know that I am sorry for your pain, and the hardship this time of year can bring. Please also know you’re not alone. There are many of us whose hearts hurt at Christmas, even as we celebrate, because of loss. If your grief is raw and new it’s also okay to put things on hold, to do things differently, or to let the anniversary days like Christmas slide by unacknowledged until you are ready to face them again.

I’d like to share something I do at Christmas that may be useful for you too. I have found it helpful and healing to make a private little Christmas Altar each year. This way I remember the dead, the absent, the lost. An altar is simply a small dedicated spiritual space that is meaningful to you in some way.

On my altar I place fresh flowers, a candle and some favourite crystals. Things that bring me comfort, and a sense of sacred. Then I place photos or objects that represent a loved one who will not be at my table. That way I can still have them near me, and I can flow love to them and have them be part of my life over the festive season.

The beautiful big owl in the photo above was given to me one Christmas by my friend Angela. She passed away a few years ago. It will be central to my display.

I’ll place a tiny wooden boat for my brother, and a ceramic pelican for my dad. A sparkly stone for my sister and roses for my mum and all of the women in her family who have shaped and grown and loved me. My family all live far from me. But now they are here on my altar even if they cannot be here in person.

I’ll add a photo of Ben’s parents from when they were young, and pictures of my grandparents too. I have cupcake-shaped candles for my darling Kate, who passed away too soon in 2010 ( I went back to her facebook page last night and was lost in there for an hour reading her old posts and laughing at what a dag she was and crying cos sometimes I still miss her more than breathing), and Julie who passed away in 2014. My Grandparents, all now passed, are here in photographs too and I will place a glass of sherry, Christmas Cake and some gingernut biscuits out because these are all the things they would have loved to eat, and later I will eat some and think of them. On Christmas Day I will play The Twelve Days of Christmas by the Ray Conniff Singers, because my Pa used to play that for us every year, and shed a few happy-sad tears.

It’s not the same as having them at my table, but it’s the next best thing. People coming to my house will think that I have simply gathered flowers and candles and photographs and a few ornaments together, but for me it is something healing and emotionally significant that helps me to feel the reassuring weight of my loved ones around me.

Perhaps making your own Christmas Altar will help you this Christmas too.

Sending so much love your way, Nicole ❤ xx

Small Acts Of Kindness – We Need More Of Them!

Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
~ Mark Twain

 

Small acts of kindness ease our burdens. They remind us that we are loved and that there is still hope and goodness in the world.

Don’t ever underestimate the gift of small acts of kindness.  A simple phone call, a cuppa and a chat, a bunch of flowers from your garden, a casserole or a pot of soup, the loan of some books or DVDs – all of these simple gestures can make a vast difference in the life of someone who is busy coping with whatever life has just thrown them.

Anyone who has suffered from depression, ongoing family or relationship issues, the prolonged care of a loved one with a chronic or terminal illness, or who has suffered a loss or setback in life will tell you that support is often strong to start off with, but fades away, or worse – people begin to tell them to ‘think positive’, to ‘look on the bright side’, to ‘snap out of it’, ‘get over it’, ‘move on’ or equally unhelpful sentiments.

Some situations in life are over in an instant but leave a lasting impact.  Some situations take a very long time to resolve. And we all manage grief and loss in our own way.  (Side note –  It’s actually okay to let people who are in the midst of misery express grief, be sad, feel flat or lost, and be anything but the life of the party.)

So how do we help when difficulties are drawn out for our friends and loved ones?  Think about the times in your own life when things have been hard. What made a difference to you?  Firstly, don’t judge your friends and loved ones, and don’t feel you have to fix anything or take responsibility for changing them or their situation.

Ask them how they’re going.  Ask them what they need.  Sometimes we need to talk things through, sometimes we need to talk about ANYTHING other than what’s really happening, sometimes we want to be left alone. And our needs might change from moment to moment, hour to hour.

The best advice here is to stay in contact, and then ask the simple questions:

‘How are you?’ or ‘Are you okay?’

‘Is there anything I can do to help?’

If you can see an obvious need, don’t be afraid to ask and then step in.  Or if it’s appropriate, just go ahead and do it – hose the garden, mow the lawn, bake the cake, mind the kids, take the washing off the line, bundle up a care parcel.

Sometimes all that’s needed is a hug or a kind word.

When I was ill recently, a dear friend brought me homemade chicken soup, and another loaned me a book. It was the difference between me eating something healthy and going without, and I had soul food in the form of something new to read. Heaven.

Yesterday, after a difficult day, I went to my front door and found a posy of flowers and a tender note filled with love and encouragement. It brightened my spirits immeasurably. Friends texted me to check in on me. I felt loved, affirmed and connected.

It’s these small acts of thoughtfulness, these simple gestures of kindness that ease the way for us when life’s road gets hard.

How can you be a friend today?

Much love, Nicole  xx

Things to be thankful for…

“Take time daily to reflect on how much you have. It may not be all that you want but remember someone somewhere is dreaming to have what you have.” ~Germany Kent

This morning I’m counting my Blessings. Such a simple thing to do, and it always makes me feel richer. I like to count them off on my fingers – a tangible act, and a way of really anchoring their truth in my life. Blessings to me are always the simple things in life, and often the things we take for granted.  Even on the worst of days we can find something to be grateful for.  Counting blessings gets my attention OFF the things I don’t want, and back on the things I do. It’s an instant mood lifter that keeps things in perspective for me. It never takes much to find something that’s a blessing.

Today I am grateful for:

1. The sound of wind in the trees as I go to sleep, and birdsong as I wake up.

2. The warmth of the fire, and the sweet smell of woodsmoke in the cold morning air. (I’m also grateful for my husband, who chops the wood and loads the wheelbarrow, and stokes the fire for me!)

3. Chai tea, enough for two, sipped from big bowls, with just a dusting of cinnamon.

4. My Meyer Lemon tree, and its abundance of luscious fruit. And the fresh Lemon Curd I can spread on my morning toast!

5. Farmers’ Markets, and the dedication of our local growers to grow or make the best seasonal fresh produce.

6. My Kindle, and being able to snuggle under the doona on a lazy morning, sipping chai and reading books.

7. My dogs, Rufous and Harry, for their love and companionship.

8. Writing. It is my greatest love, and the thing that wakes me up in the middle of the night, brimful of ideas.

9. Red Jasper which grounds and nurtures, and feels wonderful to have tucked up within my aura.

10. Trees. My little farmhouse is cradled by hundred-year-old trees who whisper their secrets, one to another, and add an incredible energy to this place and to me.

How about you? What do you have to be thankful for today? Go on – count them off on your fingers!

Wishing you many Blessings, Nicole  xx

Why Kindness And Goodness Matters

“Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.” 
Roy T. Bennett

Life can be a difficult ride, and each of us at times will know pain, trouble, loneliness and struggle. That’s why it is so important for us to practice love and kindness.

But when we are going through our own difficulties, when we are tired or feeling taken for granted, we might wonder what’s the point? What’s the point of being kind? What’s the point of continuing to be caring, helpful, polite?

Have you noticed that emotional states are contagious? Hang around an angry person long enough and some of that will rub off on you. The same goes for depression. Uncaring acts beget more. Selfishness breeds isolation, disrespect, contempt and ugliness.

Just as negative emotions have a negative impact, choosing to stay focused on love, gratitude, positive values and caring will have a positive impact on our lives.

Our emotional state and our thoughts travel out from us like ripples on a pond. They radiate energy that affects everything and everyone around us. Eventually, some of that energy will be reflected back to us, perhaps weaker, perhaps greatly magnified…

What sort of world do you choose for yourself?

Loving others, living from your heart, choosing kindness, and performing acts of service and devotion that may well go unacknowledged or unappreciated are paths that can truly lead us to a better future, influencing and supporting the positive unfolding of history in ways we may not ever know or understand in our lifetime.

No matter what your emotional starting ground, when you uplift others, you also uplift yourself. When you share your heart, it doesn’t decrease your love – it expands your love, and your capacity to give and receive love.

Our Universe is built upon unseen acts of courage, goodness, faith, optimism, service and great love.

Whether you subscribe to a particular religion or not, whether you believe in God, karma, Universal Law or death and taxes – know that by your own actions, your choices, your values, sacrifices and personal character you contribute to the future unfolding of our planet.

Invisible acts of love and uplifting others might not provide us with an immediate reward – but through these acts we are gifted something far more precious – they give us the power to positively shape destiny, and to better shape ourselves in the process.

When in doubt about how to act, be guided by the wisdom of the Dalai Lama:

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.
Dalai Lama

Sending love your way, Nicole ❤ xx

A Week For Love, Magic and Miracles – Monday Oracle 10 September 2018

“All of us need to be in touch with a mysterious, tantalizing source of inspiration that teases our sense of wonder and goads us on to life’s next adventure.
~  Rob Brezsny

 

Hello, Lovelies!

September is a month for adventuring and travel. It’s a month for exploring new lands, or undiscovered parts of ourselves. Routine and the usual choices will hold no interest for us. We will long for life to surprise us, and we’ll feel compelled to try new things. We will be less held back with worry about what other people think of us too (Isn’t that a relief!). Keep that in mind as we look at the gifts of inspiration which the oracle card Six of Hearts brings us.

When we lift each other up, when we help each other, we all rise. That’s the essence of the magic Six of Hearts brings us. This week’s energies are all about co-operation, collaboration, and helping each other to experience win-win situations. There is so much opportunity around us right now to move out of that space of being stuck in the past or stuck in regret so that we can move forward to new opportunities.

It’s a great week to join a mentoring group or start one, to find a coach or mentor or become one, and to connect into communities, tribes, social groups or any other kind of group that holds your interests and values, and where you can learn, grow and contribute!

When we change ourselves, and our own vibration rises, we positively influence everyone and everything around us. Change truly can start with ourselves. We are never powerless – no matter how difficult our lives may seem we have control over our thoughts, emotions and actions. Work with your own mental attitude this week, knowing that no matter what is happening in your life you still have the capacity to choose your actions and reactions.

Six of Hearts reminds us that we can call on Angels, Guides, Ancestors and God to help us in our times of trouble or when we need inspiration and encouragement. We are never alone, and miracles happen every day.

This is also a week for love, romance and deep soul connection. No matter what your situation, do your best to come from love in everything you do this week. Expect magic. Expect blessings. Ask for miracles and be open to receiving them.

Supportive crystals this week?

Pyrite promotes confidence, good decision-making, courage and the ability to embrace your potential. Tree Agate heightens your intuition, connecting you to synchronicity, soul wisdom, guides and universal energy. It promotes inner peace and emotional healing. Smoky Quartz is fantastic for making decisions, new ideas and directions, planning and busting through old limits. Pearls (pictured) nurture you, helping you to believe that you are worthy of love and healing your heart of old hurts. Each of these stones can be worn, held, placed into a work space or popped into your pocket. 

Helpful essential oils?

Lavender is a beautiful oil this week for enhancing communication, deepening trust in relationships and helping you to feel settled and safe.

Apply it to your pulse points at wrist, neck and over heart like a perfume. Place a few drops in your bath water. Diffuse it. One of my favourite uses is as a centering and inspiring pick-me-up. Put a drop in the palm of your hand, rub hands together and then inhale the aroma. (Here’s a simple three-minute meditation you can do using lavender or any of your favourite essential oils – click here)

Need an extra boost of encouragement? Try Young Living’s Believe essential oil blend. It’s fabulous in your diffuser while you work, or as a quick pick-me-up with a three-minute meditation. Believe is uplifting and promotes confidence, spiritual connection, clarity and belief in ourselves. It also helps us to let go of fear, doubt and old emotional pain and hurt.  I often use this oil when I am creating, writing or journalling, or working with cards for myself. 

 You can find the oils here.

 

Image from www.wallpaperstock.net

Holding you, as always, in my thoughts, prayers and meditations, and intending for you a life of abundance and joy, where you are no longer limited by your doubts.

All my love,

Nicole ❤ xx

PS: Monday’s oracle card, ‘Six of Hearts’, is from the Inner Child Cards – A Fairy-Tale Tarot. I use any cards shown as a prompt for channelled messages and my own own intuitive wisdom, so my take is sometimes quite different to the meaning found in a book.