Is this life of mine my fault?

“If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its riches; for to the creator there is no poverty and no poor indifferent place.”
~ Rainer Maria Rilke

Lovelies, I received a very thought-provoking question recently in regard to the quote from Rainer Maria Rilke at the top of this post, and I wanted to address it here on my blog. Like many things in life there is no simple answer, and as it is a question I have asked myself over and over again in this lifetime I wanted to share my response.

Here’s the excellent question:

Good morning,
Mine is a question Nicole that troubles me.
I always love the captions/snippets from other writers under your lovely images and this morning’s starts with ” if your daily life seems poor don’t blame it” 
My question is how does this fit with all the poor souls born into or find themselves in shocking conditions they have no control over such as absolute poverty, war, famine, abusive families?
How have they created this? How can it possibly be their fault?
These questions have troubled me because they don’t seem to fit into the positive thinking or “ask and it shall be given” brackets. Can your guides help with some clarity here ?
Thank you for your blogs, they have been part of my day for years now.
Elle xx

As many of you know my life has had its share of troubles, pain and obstacles. When I was young and idealistic I thought that this suffering was unfair. Why did I have these problems when friends of mine seemed to be floating along on a cloud of joy, love, support and happiness?

But looking into the window of the life of another never truly tells you what is going on. I have found, through life experience and in my decades of working as a psychic and mentor, that all of us have troubles and many of these are invisible to those around us.

Throughout my life, in an attempt to heal, I have also explored every possible avenue including much time spent in trying to undo, rectify or heal any wrong-doing, thought or action I may have taken that may have led to my suffering.

Goodness, how mean I have been to myself – blaming myself for my circumstances and believing that this suffering was all my fault.

War, famine, drought, accidents, random acts of violence and horror, abusive relationships, terrible illnesses. Did we sign up for these? Much of the New Age movement would have us think so. Works such as the book ‘You can heal your life’ and the philosophy of the Law of Attraction make it easy to buy into the concept that any problems or suffering in our lives are a direct result of our karma, our thoughts and our attitudes. Perhaps we even chose suffering as part of our ‘contract’ in coming here to this life.

I have seen the dramatic recent rise of shaming of people who actually need our empathy and support – people with issues as diverse as addictions, autistic children, staying in a marriage with a partner who has mental health issues, cancer, chronic illness, depression, or displacement from their country due to war. Human kindness is too often replaced by judgement from those fortunate enough to not be in the same circumstances. Rise up, they say. Change your thoughts. Juice vegetables. Go vegan. Wear a crystal. Parent better. Use less chemicals. Make different choices. Have more discipline. Heal your past lives!

(Want to read more on this theme? My Sad Unicorns post covers this ‘dangerous magical thinking’ problem in detail.)

I’ve seen mothers told that their young children’s illness is the result of past-life religious transgressions. I’ve listened as people have judged someone with cancer for having caused it by not having a clean lifestyle. Yes, it’s true that there are lifestyle factors involved with many illnesses, including cancer. But that’s not the whole picture. I’ve watched friends who are vegans, vegetarians, yoga instructors – every possible thing that you could consider the epitome of a healthy, anti-cancer chemical-free loving and natural lifestyle be struck down and taken by cancers, savagely and fast.

Dear Elle, yours is an excellent question, and this is what I believe. Life is difficult and wonderful and dangerous and fraught with risk. Things happen for which we will never find a reason. People in power make decisions that affect millions. Accidents and mistakes happen. Weather patterns change. Our genetics hands us a bad card or wild one. Illnesses occur and we don’t yet have the science to interpret and understand them fully. And none of that is our fault. If we look wider we see that this is also true for plants and animals and places. No-one and nothing is immune to suffering, desecration, destruction or death.

So what does that have to do with Rainer Maria Rilke’s quote? I think this quote is more about how we cope with life’s suffering than our thoughts as a causative agent of that suffering. I believe that there is one thing we do have control over. We can choose how we feel, how we react, what we think. In even the most difficult of lives we can find tiny windows of calm, of nurture, of beauty, and small moments of grace and gratitude. That is one of the gifts of suffering – it can promote mindfulness and with mindfulness comes an opportunity to mentally lift ourselves out of impossible pain and hardship for a short while. It gifts us resilience, and meaning and a way to endure.

I hope that helps,

Much love, Nicole xx

Disturbing Dreams and Strange Comforts

“Use the wings of the flying Universe, 
Dream with open eyes; 
See in darkness.” 
~  Dejan Stojanovic

 

One of the things my Aboriginal Aunties taught me when I lived in the Kimberley was that night flying would become a very important part of my healing business. During the night while I was asleep my soul became untethered they said, and in the dreaming place it could travel wherever it was needed.

Since my twenties every night after my meditation I pray that my soul can be useful during the dream state. I ask that I can be of service. I trust that it can be so.

I use my nights to fly.

Many of my students and clients have reported me visiting them during the night, or appearing in their dreams. Their recollections always tally with my own. It’s something I can’t explain, but it is also something I have grown accustomed to – a new kind of normal, I guess.

Mostly it’s a positive experience. But occasionally it really throws me. Like the time I cradled a dying stranger in my arms. A man I later found out was real, and who had died on the other side of the globe in just the way it had happened in my dream.

Then there was the dream I had on Thursday night. The one that kept me from blogging yesterday.

In my dream all I know is that I found myself suddenly pulled from the quiet sky and into a streetscape. Everything around me was blurred except for this small bubble of space and time that I inhabited. I was on my knees on the ground, and beside me was a woman. Her confused face was tilted toward me, and I was holding her hand.

I know you are afraid, I said to her, but I am here with you. I am holding your hand and I am here with you.

Outside the bubble of peace we inhabited there was chaos. People were running. Screaming. I heard a series of bangs and the air smelled of metal and dust and something vaguely like a car’s overheated engine. Beneath my knees were pavers covered in lines. The pavers were warmed from the sun.

As I held this woman’s hand I felt a deep love for her. She was all that I could see. All that mattered to me in that moment. I felt her relax and then felt a sensation like a sigh escaping from her body.

Am I dying? she said calmly. Her mouth didn’t move. Her eyes no longer moved. I heard her voice in my head.

Yes, I answered. I knew it with all of my being. You’re gone already.

Oh, she said. I wasn’t expecting that.

I poured all of my love into her and connected her to the peace and love that was all around us.

At the edge of our bubble two women and a man appeared. I knew they were her family. There was so much love for her there in that moment.

Your people are here for you, I told her. It’s okay to go with them now.

She stood up, they embraced and then walked away without looking back. I stayed kneeling beside her body, holding her hand in mine. The bubble of peace dissolved and I was overwhelmed with emotion at the scene around me. So many more people hurt, so much emotional and physical devastation.

But before I could look around or do more I was awake, lying in my own bed.

Rufous, our young red pup, was standing over me licking my face furiously and nudging me with his body. When he saw that he had woken me he pressed his little body against me and kept licking me to reassure me. I wrapped my arms around him and he licked away my tears.

I couldn’t go back to sleep, shaken by my dream, so we went downstairs together and Rufous stayed pressed against me as I made a hot drink and then sat down to meditate and pray.

A little after dawn my husband found me. You okay? he asked, knowing that I wasn’t.

I shared my dream, and the vivid memory of the pavers on which I’d knelt.

When he showed me footage of what had transpired in Barcelona overnight I recognised the images straight away. Those same patterns on the ground matched exactly what I had just told him.

I don’t know what my night was all about. Or what really happened. But I hope that in my own way I was able to make a difference.

Whatever you do today, be kind. Live from love. Towards yourself and all people you meet. Holding you all in my meditations, prayers and with my whole heart,

Nicole  xoxo

The Week Ahead – Oracle Reading for Monday 21 November

loversosho

“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.”
~ Dalai Lama XIV

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”
~ Leo Buscaglia

 

Hello, Friends!

Welcome to the fourth week of these awesome November energies.

Here’s the oracle card I have chosen, and my take on the energetic outlook for the days ahead.

‘The Lovers’ is from the Osho Zen Tarot deck, and the powerful message of this card is that love is what is needed right now.

On the most personal of notes, this is a week that encourages you to reconnect with your partner – as lovers, as friends, as confidants. Not many people talk about how much work actually goes into successful relationships. Partnerships are gardens that require regular attention. There is ample opportunity to rekindle the magic and to rediscover what first created sparks and joy between you. It’s a week for forgiveness, for acceptance, and for celebration of your shared history.

If there’s love still there, but you’ve lost your way, or forgotten how to connect and communicate, seek help to get you both back on track and travelling forward together.

Mostly, what relationships need is time spent together. How can you do more of that this week?

In a relationship that’s fresh and new? You will find ways to deepen your understanding of and commitment to each other in the days ahead.

Those of you who are trapped in relationships that are past their use-by date, that are deeply unhealthy, broken, or finished in all but the leaving, will find that this week facilitates decisions to put yourself back out into the flow of life on your own again. The ending of 2016, and the finalisation of this old, old energetic era we’ve been in is the perfect time for freeing yourself up if your relationship no longer serves you.

If you’re single and looking for love, well… magic is in the air. <3

Above all, this week – love yourself! Don’t wait for someone else to do that for you. Nourish yourself with self-care, kindness and compassion.

Love is an emotion that extends far beyond the sexual, or the intimacy of a partnership. Love is always bigger than that…

This week you’re called to reach out to those you care about – family, friends, neighbours, community – and let them know that you care, let them feel the warmth of that connection, and the reassurance that comes from knowing that their life matters to someone. You can do this in so many ways: a hug, a shared meal, a chat over coffee, a phone call or connection via social media or email, an act of kindness, volunteering time or money, writing letters on behalf of those with no voice, adopting a shelter animal, making a donation, joining a group that does good in the world.

 

Many people have contacted me after my recent post about sensitive and empathic souls and the current energies of upheaval that are affecting us.

I understand that many sensitive souls are having a difficult time right now, and are engulfed with fear, frustration and deep despair around world events.

This week we are reminded that there is always something we can do.

This week we’re encouraged to send love out into the world, and to direct love back to ourselves. Love fills and heals the dark wounds and uncertain spaces caused by fear and hate.

How do we move the world back from the tipping point of divisiveness? Love. Kindness. Compassion. Forgiveness. Inclusion.

Living from our hearts, meditating and sending love into the world, using prayer and visualisation, all of these things help.

 

When we come from a place of love we don’t talk badly of others, or spread gossip or perpetuate stories that feed the energies of uncertainty and fear.

What the world needs now is not more darkness and argument. We don’t need more violent thoughts or deeds. We need love. We need lifting up. We need kindness. We need laughter. We need understanding and coming together.

We need gratitude for what is good in our lives.

We need to place our focus on what we want, and what is good, rather than devoting any energy at all to the things we don’t want.

love

This image by my lovely friend Suzie Cheel over at www.suziecheel.com

Supportive crystals for the days ahead? So many to choose from! Rose Quartz, rhodonite, citrine, mookaite jasper, lapis lazuli and malachite.  Helpful essential oils? Young Living’s Joy essential oil blend, or  a combination (or singly!) of any of neroli, rose, ylang ylang and sandalwood.

Wishing you a wonderful week and holding you, as always, in my thoughts, prayers and meditations. You matter to me. I love you.

Nicole❤ xx

 

Here are some simple guided meditations you may find useful this week:

Loving-Kindness Meditation

Forgiveness Meditation and Journalling Activity

Meditation to ease suffering in self and others

Simple Three Minute Meditation using Essential Oils

Guided Meditation for Heart Healing

Tibetan Singing Bowl Healing Meditation

Guided Meditation for Panic, Anxiety and Fear

The Energies of September – 2016

“And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

 

 

Hello, Lovelies :)

Welcome to September. It’s such a lovely heart-centered month. A month for simplifying. For focusing on what matters. For fresh starts and timely endings.

Cards for the Month:

I’ve chosen two cards for September for you: one from the Osho Zen Tarot Deck, and one from Colette Baron-Reid’s Wisdom of the Oracle. Please note I don’t use these cards in the conventional way, but rather as a stimulus for channelled information.

Here is what I have received from each card:

inner voice osho

“Anyone can plot a course with a map or compass; but without a sense of who you are, you will never know if you’re already home.”
~ Shannon L. Alder

September helps us to honour our inner voice and intuitive wisdom, allowing us to truly begin to know our heart’s calling. A sense of inner peace comes to us as we finally start to own our truth, and to live from that place. This month we see things from a higher perspective. Old relationships, trials, failures and obstacles lose their sting, and we see how many of these things have helped us to become who we are and to develop a depth and wisdom we would not otherwise have had. We can put down the guilt or resentment.

We start to see the learnings instead of just the pain.

Our energy can flow again after all of that stuckness.

We can also call on this inner wisdom to illuminate areas of our life that are out of harmony for us, so that we can take action to bring them back into alignment with our core values, or set them free.

It’s a liberating and peaceful month, and yet it will also be one of strong personal growth and transformation. Take some quiet time just for you this month. It will be worth it.

 

 

flexible wisdom of the oracle

“Flexibility is the greatest strength.” ~ Steven Redhead

The second card I’ve chosen is Flexible. This card reminds us to put our dreams front and centre, even if it means that we need to get creative about how we do that.

This month we need balance, but it serves us to be able to remain flexible in our attitudes and actions. All kinds of unexpected directions and opportunities will present themselves, and if we remain rigidly locked into a plan we may miss the best thing that could have happened to us in ages.

You’re encouraged to listen to your body. If you’re exhausted, rest. If you are on fire with an idea, then burn the midnight oil.

Let go of your need to be right. Instead, embrace an attitude of curiosity and a willingness to learn new things.

Don’t get bogged down in how something is supposed to look or behave. Let go of cherished outcomes and keep an open mind instead.

This month can give you the breakthrough you need, if you are open to it!

 

Best crystals this month?

Opal is a stone that links heart and mind – wonderful for being able to tune in to our own inner wisdom. It helps us to see, understand and truly know ourselves, and is uplifting and kind in its energies. It also promotes creativity and inspiration.

Any kind of opal or opalite will do. Go with what you are drawn to.

Golden Healer Quartz is quartz crystal with the inclusion of iron oxide within or on the outside of the crystal, giving it aspects of colour that look pale lemon, golden or even burnt orange. Golden Healer is a master healing stone that restores your natural energy and vibration after periods of lower vibration, negativity, illness or stuckness. It promotes positive communication, and positive thoughts towards self and others.

golden healer quartz

Rock from my own collection!

 

Essential oils to support your journey?

Try this sublime diffuser blend of 6 drops of Geranium, 4 drops of Coriander, 2 drops of Pettigrain and 2 drops of Sandalwood. This fragrance is fresh and light, and promotes feelings of happiness and wellbeing. My fairy friend Sokli calls this her Happy Days! blend.

You could also use any of these oils on their own.  You can find the oils here.

 

geranium-409238_640

 

Need some extra encouragement, support or inspiration?

Try these posts:

Honouring Your Intuition – Why Aren’t You Doing It?  –  An explanation of what intuition is, and how you can tune in to yours.

Trusting Your Instincts In Relationships – Using intuition to navigate our relationships.

Magical Owl Oracle – Messages of inspiration and guidance just for you!

Simplicity Is A Choice – How simplifying your life can be a satisfying choice.

Guided Meditation For Anchoring Soul Awareness – A simple guided meditation to tune you in to your own soul’s wisdom.

 

September will rocket some of you ahead so far that you’ll look back and wonder how so much change could have happened in just one month. For others, the change will be more subtle, but it will still be a month of transformation.

Embrace it! And remember to keep a little downtime for rest, dreams and planning.

Sending all my love to you, Nicole ♥ xx

 

Should You Ride In On Your White Horse And Save Them?

Image from www.dbeckham.cz

Image from www.dbeckham.cz

“I find the best way to love someone is not to change them, but instead, help them reveal the greatest version of themselves.”
~ Steve Maraboli

 

Recently I received a message on facebook that I thought it was worth answering here on my blog.

Random Question – What does one do with the compulsive need to ‘save’ people or fix things?? You know, when you can feel and sense everything bubbling away. The stuff they are not even willing to acknowledge. I get very burdened by that and have this burning desire to get it up and out and make it right, it’s not always good…..

 

I love this question.

Can you see any aspect of yourself in this? I know that this describes the way that I once lived in the world, and the way I used to feel about so many things.

It’s an especially big question for lightworkers, healers of all persuasions, coaches and counsellors, and people who are waking up to their own intuitive and spiritual nature.

Often, we can see a better way to do things. A fast way to fix something. A clear solution to someone else’s situation or problem.

As the author of this question wrote, sometimes you can see ‘stuff they are not even willing to acknowledge’.

So, what should you do?

Firstly, sit quietly in your own good self and ask yourself What’s this really all about?

Is it possible that you are simply very sensitive or perhaps even over-sensitive to emotions, energy and disharmony right now? Is the choice or behaviour or situation of another person causing you irritation, frustration, anger or great sadness? If that’s true for you then it’s best for you to go spend time in nature, to be alone for a while, to find some quiet time and space where you can rest, ground and unwind a little. When we get this sensitive we often react in ways that aren’t helpful for ourselves or others. Acknowledge your own emotional state. Look after your own needs first.

Perhaps your great big heart is simply stretched to bursting with worry and compassion. You hate to see this person suffering, or making bad choices, or causing suffering to others. In this case the best place to start might by using meditation or prayer for this person, and visualising them as transcending or overcoming their current circumstances in ways that allow them to be happier and healthier. Practice kindness and understanding. Know that this is their journey, and their learning. It’s hard to learn a lesson or to build skills and confidence in solving your own problems if someone else sorts it all out for you. Can you wait until they ask for help? Can you offer help, but be okay if they don’t take you up on that offer? Do all that you can not to sit in judgement, or to say things that will make the person feel worse about themselves.

Is it even your place to interfere? Of course, I’m not talking about walking past a person bleeding out in the street or whose house is burning down.  Rendering help to someone genuinely in need is always a good thing to do. But that is about being of service. That is about the Universe working through you in coming to the aid of another in a time of trial or crisis. It’s not about fixing what is broken in someone.

And lastly, do you find yourself focusing on everyone else’s pain points because you are avoiding something in yourself or your own life?

 

Some of my most powerful lessons have come through my own bad choices, wrong actions, overt need to please others, or plain carelessness. If I had been ‘saved’ or ‘fixed’ in any of those situations I would never have grown wiser or moved to the space beyond that place of stuckness or pain. Ultimately it was me who needed to see and own the problem, and to actively work on seeking a better outcome so that I could evolve to a space of greater wholeness.

As a lightworker you can be of service by offering to help, by supporting with kindness, by being a compassionate listener, or simply by allowing things to unfold and sitting in a space of love and non-judgement. By offering guidance when asked for advice. Life is messy and hard for all of us at times. Each of us are capable of acts of great ignorance, ego and stupidity. Hardship often happens when we least expect it.

All of us deserve love anyway.

Image from pinterest - by Christine Cheung

Image from pinterest – by Christine Cheung

This compulsive need to save or to fix? Check that it’s not coming from a deep insecurity and a need to earn love from others.

Check that it’s not coming from a place of standing on higher moral ground.

Check that it’s not coming from the instability that is always created when we step into the beginnings of psychic awakening and become aware of emotions, energies and thoughts in other people – in ways that can often be confusing for us, or make us feel as though ‘we have to do something!’

I have come to see that life is far more complex and multi-layered with meaning that I can rightly understand. Things that make no sense at all in the moment reveal wisdoms to us only years later.

We are all wounded. We are all vulnerable. We are all, at times, oblivious. And that’s okay.

When we view the world with loving eyes, and come from a place of kindness that seeks to understand and accept, we also begin to create a deeper sense of harmony and inner peace within ourselves. We lift ourselves up. We smooth our own ride through life.

I hope that helps.

I honour the place in you that so loves others, and that wants to alleviate their suffering and ease their journey.

Sending much love to you, Nicole <3 xx

Don’t Isolate Yourself When the Going’s Hard

“No person, trying to take responsibility for her or his identity, should have to be so alone. There must be those among whom we can sit down and weep, and still be counted as warriors.”
~ Adrienne Rich

 

I’ve noticed a worrying phenomena lately. People are going to great lengths to make their life look incredible for social media, while behind the scenes they suffer alone and unsupported.

What happened that suddenly we can only talk up the good stuff, instead of living truthfully in the world?

As our extended family structures break down, and we become more and more remote from our neighbours and communities, we become more emotionally isolated.

We stop inviting people through the door. We stop sharing the small everyday details of our lives. Instead, we carefully curate our instagram images and facebook feeds.

There is a power to living vulnerably and being able to be open about our feelings and our lives.

Of course I advise using your intuition and discretion. Not everyone is a safe pair of hands. But with so many people stressed and overwhelmed by life, with rates of anxiety and depression and chronic illness escalating, with many of us caring for children with special needs, or single parenting or caring for elderly or ill loved ones, all of us need that extra boost that caring human connection can bring.

Image by Black-Avenger on www.deviantart.com

Image by Black-Avenger on www.deviantart.com

It can give us a powerful injection of hope or resilience to find that someone else has experienced our situation or feeling. We become less isolated. Our problem becomes more a condition of life than some shameful thing to be hidden away behind the posts of artfully photographed meals or ‘effortlessly gorgeous’ glamour outfits.

My Nana always used to tell me that a problem shared is a problem halved. As a young girl that never made much sense to me, but I can see the wisdom in it now, and I agree with that wisdom entirely.

Sometimes we genuinely do need to pull back to recalibrate our sense of centre, but please don’t isolate yourself entirely. Find ways to reach out, to ask for help, to sit in the company of others, to be able to share or smile or laugh or cry with people who welcome you into their space and allow you the freedom to feel (rather than hide) your emotions.

If you know someone who is going through a rough patch, reach out to them. Let them know that they’re not alone. Ask them if they’re okay.

We’re all in this together, and no-one’s getting out alive. Let’s all practice kindness for self and for our fellow journeymakers and make life’s journey better and more real and supported for everyone.

Sending so much love your way,

Nicole <3 xx

The Gift Of Blood

“How far that little candle throws his beams!
So shines a good deed in a weary world.”
~ William Shakespeare

 

We have a loved one going through aggressive chemotherapy right now.

One day a fortnight powerful chemicals flow into her veins. Each following day her blood slowly loses life.

A week after the chemo she has a blood transfusion. Vitality is restored.

Blood gifted from strangers keeps her alive as her body and the drugs fight the cancer.

Such a kindness from people she will never meet. People who are going about their daily lives with little or no thought to the battle she is fighting, or how the short time it took for them to ease some of their own blood into a storage bag is now buying so much more precious time for her.

I’m humbled by the life-giving power that flows through our veins, and by the generosity of humans who simply want to be of service to others.

Thank you, on behalf of our family.

And please, if you’re able, donate blood. It truly is the gift of life.