It Had To Happen…

Image by Kristy Lynn

Image by Kristy Lynn

“The sin which is unpardonable is knowingly and wilfully to reject truth, to fear knowledge lest that knowledge pander not to thy prejudices.”
― Aleister Crowley, Magick: Liber ABA: Book 4

 

Just read back over this before I posted and thought I might insert this small disclaimer: Oops, cranky alert… Also, minor potty mouth.

I’m all for magical thinking, and (as you’ve probably worked out!) as a practicing psychic and metaphysical teacher (yes, that’s what I do for a living) I’m totally open to thoughts, emotions and beliefs helping or hindering our healing process. In fact I’ve had some incredible health breakthroughs using mind-body medicine, and in facing and working through my own paradigm.

But you know what? I’m also a cheerleader for….

wait for it….

SCIENCE.

Yep. Science rocks. I respect the science that stands behind modern medicine, and many of the traditional healing therapies. Medically speaking, science has saved my life on more than one occasion. I believe that science and medicine can be a spiritual life path or calling. I also believe that it is not a cop out for me, a magical thinking kind of person, to use modern medicine and science in my own wellness journey.

So, please, crazy people, stop messaging me in response to my post yesterday to tell me that my current bladder incontinence is simply a manifestation of me being ‘pissed off’ and ‘anxious’. Don’t quote me any more passages of Louise Hay’s ‘You Can Heal Your Life’. Spare me the messages that tell me one session of past-life regression to resolve all the bad karmic shit I did in previous lifetimes will miraculously cure me (or anyone else) of all my physical and any other ills.

First of all, don’t you reckon that over the last thirty years, and given my background in spirituality and metaphysics, that I haven’t already explored all of this stuff? I have. And some of it has been really useful.

Secondly, cause and effect. Do you remember that stuff from science at school? I am suffering neurological incontinence right now as a direct result of medication, and its effect on my body and the disease that the medication is treating.

When I stop the medication, the incontinence goes away…

(But I may be a bit pissed off now anyway, actually, given some of the crazy-pants simplistic-thinking messages you’ve been sending.)

Also, stop with the guilt thing. I’m fortunate that I don’t buy into your arguments. But please, stop berating my friends and fellow illness-sufferers with all of this poorly-informed rubbish about them being responsible for their illness, or that their thinking or stupid dietary choices (ie not vegan, or eating of non-organic, or gluten, dairy, sugar, not prayed over, possible GMO soy choices) caused their cancer/car accident/marriage breakup/congenital heart defect/gay child/lyme disease/miscarriage/sudden hospitalisation after ruptured appendix. I’m totally bowled over by this judgemental and mean nonsense. What happened to kindness? What happened to good old-fashioned common sense?

Humans are complex beings. Incredibly so.

We are fortunate to live in an era where science and metaphysics are aligning, and where we have a wide array of healing methods and tools at our disposal. There is not a one-cure-fits-all cure for anything. Ask any healer – western, eastern, metaphysical, scientific or otherwise. If they are honest they will tell you that the treatment that cured someone will have also failed to cure another with the same malady.

Did I mention that we are complex and bio-diverse?

Lastly, in response to the ‘new age leader’ who emailed me to say that I am a disgrace to the movement for even using modern medicine at all, and setting such a poor example to others. Sorry, but WTF? When someone I know suffered a horrific injury with a chainsaw do you think I should have stood over them waving my crystals and chanting positive affirmations? What healed them was an incredibly skilful and careful surgeon who took three hours to irrigate their wound before using microsurgery to stitch them up, restoring full limb function. Modern drugs – a truckload of antibiotics, was another useful tool in that healing mix.

Pilates, rather than positive thinking, fixed one friend’s bladder weakness and leakage. Another friend found her cure through an excellent physiotherapist.

I’m always open to new ideas, treatments, and modalities.

But I am not open to your lack of open-mindedness.

Engage brains, people. They are one of the most magical-thinking, cosmically-cool healing tools you have.

I pray that if you are ever unfortunate enough to experience a chronic illness, injury, accident or awful life circumstance that the people who reach out to you do so with kindness and wisdom rather than judgement.

Rant over.

Image from pinterest

Image from pinterest

PS: I wrote another post on this same topic some time back. You may find it useful:

Sad Unicorns OR Is Your New Age Thinking Positively Unhelpful?

52 thoughts on “It Had To Happen…

  1. Thank you so much for saying this Nic <3. When I was really ill, people telling me many of the things that you mentioned only served to make me feel guilty, as though I wasn't trying hard enough to be well or that it was some kind of payback. These people are dangerous. They are not the leaders they claim to be unless you call a leader someone who has the most simplistic answers to all of life's ups and downs and zero empathy for those who aren't 'cured' in 30 days by 'the program.' They do so much harm. Thanks for speaking up and I pray that you will delete your message function so u don't have to waste anymore energy on these so called 'spiritual healers.' Lots of love xo

  2. Hi Nicole,

    Thank you for this post, and the earlier one about positive new age thinking. It is so refreshing to hear someone with your life experiences still have such a balanced view around all healing modalities – eastern, western, conventional, ‘unconventional’, spiritual, scientific or otherwise.

    More than once I have referred back to your page when things get confusing. Recently highly respected practitioner told me that the ills in my life are *all* my doing and other people’s very bad behaviour in my childhood had nothing to do with them. While I am happy to take on board my responsibility (which would be recognising and moving forward from the ill treatment I received),the added judgement really wasn’t what I needed at that time.

    I get very worried when people blindly start following anyone (doctor, or healer or anyone else) without paying attention to themselves and what works for their unique situation. You are a great advocate for people knowing their own truth and staying in their own power.

    Yay for compassion and yay for supporting all of us who have their own journey to tread. Rock on!

  3. Holy crap Nicole! Can hardly believe with all the amazing love and goodness and healing and deeply embodied wisdom you put into the world, you still have to contend with this shit! I mean seriously crazy peeps – back off already! My warrior woman is totally fired up – and, as Catherine Tate would say, “How very dare you” to all the haters.

    Keep being the HIGHLY INTELLIGENT, SAVVY, SANE, GROUNDED, PRAGMATIC modern day mystic that you are. I have your back. xx

  4. Morning Beautiful Nicole. I would read your daily blogs pretty much every single day! I grab my phone and wonder what beautiful words of wisdom you have for all of us. So when I saw the very colourful unicorn poop, I was quite interested. I might also add, I never post back, mainly because I don’t know what to say, except thank you. Being a Nurse I love the complimenting the metaphysical, mystical and magical with cold hard science. Both have so much to offer. So you go Nicole!!! You Rock and yes and like Holly (or Catherine Tate) said above, ‘How very dare you’ of the people that may have been short sighted with their understanding. Stay strong Gorgeous Nicole and I look forward to seeing what picture tomorrow’s blog can possibly be to top colourful unicorn poop!!!!:):):) xoxoxox

  5. Thank you so much for speaking frankly and with well-placed rage towards people, who are fanatics and have single-tracked minds. Of course there is no one explanation or one cure for everything, and anyone who believes that, and especially uses it to lecture others are simple not worth spending anymore time on. I love, love love that you are so open and pragmatic! Thanks and all the best of luck – I hope you will feel better soon, whatever measures you take! Best wishes, Hanne from Denmark

  6. Thanks Nicole, as ever, for your honesty and frankness – yep, on board here with the combo approach to healing, be it myself or loved ones, including the furry kids. Breathtaking that some people believe they have all the answers to another’s problem when they’ve never spent time walking in that person’s shoes … X

  7. So sorry you’ve had to deal with those responses to your brave and revealing post. That, on top of having to deal with incontinence and Lyme treatment! Keep up the good work. You’re a courageous soul, much loved by many.

  8. I don’t normally comment on blogs but after reading ur blogs every morning for over a year I have to say Thank You Nicole!! You are amazing. I am so glad u have the strength and courage to be u.

  9. I love a quote from Jeff Brown Acending with both feet on the ground!
    Westerners with their desire for spiritual enlightment forget that we have chosen a human experience with all its love and all its shite and being grounded in this human body is part of the experience. Making this experience as fulfilling as possible requires that balance. Yep feeling the emotions that’s come along with illness and becoming aware of how it makes you feel is positive but then acting in a grounded practical way to heal yourself is all part of being a balanced grounded human. I for one love how science and spirit are of a similar vibration. I’m also aware that people get squed ideas on both and you have the ungrounded, disconnected people who are running away from being human and the polar opposite who are completely disconnected from the beauty of universal spirit and bury themselves in human science alone which is hit and miss at best!
    Beautiful Nicole you are a teacher of both. Trusting spirit and honoring science seems to me a very good balance 💜

  10. Good. Let it all out, Nicole. Seriously, who are these people who think they can comment on other people’s choices? My mother and Grandmother are naturopaths, and I have studied massage, nutrition and homeopathy. That doesn’t mean that modern medicine has not been useful: after many years of battling thyroid disease using complementary medicine, my mother finally went the surgical option. When my second dad fell off the roof and broke just about every rib in his body, it was modern medicine they saved and his life. My mother’s skills will aid very much in his recovery, but it would not have saved his life. I had rosacea last year which would not budge with any treatment until I went to the doctor and he prescribed antibiotics. We are not only blind, but harmful if we do not utilise all the wisdom and help available to us. Why judge?

  11. I love you even more after this awesome rant, Nicole! You are amazing, so keep rocking on and the crazypants haters can just piss off!

  12. Oh, I love you! I have been through similar since my spine was broken, and have had other health issues. The gist of their arguments are to try and shame you. It didn’t work on me, and I am thrilled it hasn’t worked on you either darling. Yay to science and committed health professionals and cheers to kindness and support. xxx

  13. I’m so sorry to hear you have received anything but kindness and respect from those who choose to read your blog. I was recently guided to your site by a friend when things in my life all seemed a bit too hard and now I look forward each day to reading your messages. Often they really resonate with me, other times not to the same degree, but they are always interesting and I enjoy your warmth and humour. I wish you all the best in your recovery and in everything you do.
    With thanks
    Gillian
    PS – Your green sauce rocks!

  14. Well said! You know what sometimes a good “rant” is just the best kind of medicine for the soul ⚡️⚡️⚡️

  15. How sad. I simply read your post about incontinence and listened and felt with my heart. It never occurred to me to offer anything but loving energy; to simply reflect back to you what you radiate. Badass rant today; I enjoyed reading it, and I agree.

  16. Delightful, delightful, delightful.

    I find the relentless one sided focus on anything to be creepy, whether it’s like you’ve described here or conversely the relentless materialist forcing scientism. Like The Police said, ‘We are spirits in the material world.’

  17. You are amazing, When you were going through so much that is out of your control and to be so sharing in ways that can help others. Do yo sometimes wonder if those people have had illness. Then some people really have it in for Drs and science. Sending you healing love and hugs and know you are in my prayers daily xxxoooo

  18. I agree with EVERYTHING you said. I have been a scientist by profession and when I haven’t been working with test tubes, I channel. Like you, I am excited for how these two worlds are moving together. But telling someone who is sick that they have caused their own illness and can get better by some magical wand waving is insensitive and judgmental. I so honor who you are, what you are going through and how you are combining modern medicine with some metaphysical techniques to find some relief. You have my support and my utmost respect.

  19. Amen Nicole!! Speak it sister! This is why I love you and your blog!!! Every thing you said speaks so much to me. I have had the same experience when I was ill, and still do….and usually the sage advice is t from anybody who has ever experienced serious illness. I could go on, but you said everything already! Thanks!

  20. Fabulous post Nicole! Sorry I missed the post related to this and sorry there are so many hare-brained people out there who think they have all of the answers. Sending only love, Pamela

  21. BRAVO Nicole Bravo. Brilliant post. I hear you. Thank you. Thank you for being real! You are an inspiration and I enjoy your daily posts. (I don’t normally respond but felt compelled today!) 20 years with Multiple Sclerosis and going great guns; it’s been a combination of modern medicine AND complimentary therapies/metaphysical work/open mindedness and balance. We are blessed to be able to access it all if we choose-so why not do that if we choose? Like so many in this community I respect you and what you do. Sending Love and heart lights xox

  22. Bravo Nicole! we need more of this commonsense, non-judgment and openmindedness. I applaud you xx much love, Kerry

  23. Hurrah ! I remember being in the set up crew for a festival and asking about the arrangements for first aid.This had been overlooked(!!!)by the organisers,but one of them piped up that her friend was coming tomorrow and she was a herbalist / flower therapist… I happened to know we had nurse, midwife and a paramedic on our Bamboo crew so we gamely said we would be the go to people if there was anyone who felt that they had something that might require bandages or an ambulance.Having said this I manage my back with acupuncture and massage, use herbs/garlic/turmeric for viral stuff
    .I also have come across the unthinking people who have never been really sick who think it can be cured by an application of essence of rainforest/ rebirthing/a poultice of something applied at the new Moon.The woman talked into having a homebirth by her friend who was a doula .2nd baby following a emergency Caesarean.Ok if you have an experienced midwife to look after you and your baby,who would know that your baby would actually fit through your pelvis. They really don’t do sideways too well.The mother and baby were ok but they both would have died if she had stayed at home in the hands of her well meaning friend. Makes me shudder when I see people planning to freebirth. I had 2 home births which were wonderful, 2 hospital births not so deep and meaningful , but live healthy babies.Sorry for the ramble but am totally with you Nicole!
    wishing you well
    Wendy

  24. Dear Nicole,
    I hope you are able to feel the love and support for you from all the above emails. Everyone’s journey is their own, I believe. It is not for others to say what will suit your healing process, it is your choice how you go about defeating this %@#!! Lyme disease. You know best what works for you and which healers, of whatever training, you trust to help you.
    From what I have read, the physical and mental pain and anguish caused by Lyme disease is more than most can cope with. You are to be supported in every way possible to feel others’ energy willing you on (and Lyme disease away!). I hope you can feel what these inadequate words are attempting to convey. Your courage and determination are amazing.
    Sincerely,
    Linda

  25. By the time I read all the comments I forgot what I was going to say so all I will say is I hear ya and I so agree well I think I agreed as I said I forgot what my comment was going to be

  26. Good on you. Well said. It’s a shame complementary treatments are not complimentary too. You keep healing yourself by any and every means available. I look forward to your blogs and recipes and feel love and empathy for you when things aren’t going quite to plan. Love and hugs. Mx

  27. Thankyou, thankyou Nicole! Whilst suffering with Cancer (yes suffering) I was also bombarded with such “well-meaning?” advice, criticism and ‘wisdom?’. It confused me, hurt me and then, yes….. led me to follow my OWN intuition and guidance. This led me to a wise woman named, Nicole Cody and on to further healing, understanding and kindness. Each has their own path to walk and there is no ‘one’ way. God Bless you, Nicole and thank you for sharing your wisdom. Love and Light, Sue xxx

  28. I love what you said.
    It’s funny how one of the very first things we often learn when opening our mind is to respect others – each to their own – but it’s something that those particular “new agers” weirdly forget.
    Maybe it’s because they haven’t been through what we have, in regard to chronic illness.
    But I suppose all the advice comes from a good place, deep down, apart from that leader guy – what was up his butt?
    Good luck on the meds, but you can’t wait to get off those particular ones!

  29. Dear Nicole, that is exactly why I am so fond of you ! I was telling my husband not a week ago: “You know, Nicole is for me the perfect mix between spirituality (my color) and feet on the ground”. I do subscribe to 100% to what you are saying and you are helping a lot of People to sort out. Thanks and have a lovely day, Cécile

  30. Yep the purists are the darkest cos they are not aware that their purity is actually judgement. I love you Nicole and am so amazed that you have not allowed this illness and all the pain to be an excuse for not living an authentic life. I aspire you. xxx

  31. Nicole, I agree with you 100% , these crazy people actually think we enjoy being incapicated and stuck on bed unable to move and do the things we used to enjoy with our family friends and loved ones. I am always keeping you in my prayers. And you should be so PROUD of this post, I know it totally resonates with me as a certain few have also said the same about me.
    Blessing peace happiness and abundance today and always,
    Bridget R

  32. Nicole you ROCK!!! At last a voice of sanity in amongst all the c**p. And I speak as someone who has had to put up with a lot of the stuff from the misguided who make you feel worse with their unhelpful words. If they had ever had depression they would realise how ridiculous they sound.
    Love and blessings for telling it like it is.
    Richard D.

  33. Dear Nicole,

    Thank you so much for this post on erroneous New Age thinking.

    I have been quite unwell for the past ten years, and more so in this past 18 months. I have been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia and now poly myalgia rheumatica. I have always totally believed in natural therapies and healing from within and I have been feeling let-down and guilty that none of these methods seems to have worked and have had to resort to some pretty heavy duty drug therapy.

    When I take high doses of prednisone, I feel good and it reminds me of how I used to feel (a very long time ago). But it is not advisable to stay on high doses of this drug and so I then come down to a lower dose and I am back to being in constant pain. I have lost the joy of movement and walking in particular and I grieve for the loss of quality in my life.

    And feeling guilty because I have failed to heal myself certainly does not help.

    So, thank you once again for being so forthright in expressing your dismay at the very judgmental attitudes from quite a number of people in the New Age community.

    Wishing you all manner of good things happening in your life.

    Geraldine Schoenwald

    PS I don’t know if you remember me – I did some workshops with you and I did some bookkeeping work for you as well when you were at Clayfield.

  34. I think you’re so brave, putting out there the most difficult moments of your life. I really look forward to reading your blog and find it so inspirational. As an epileptic I understand how vital medicine can also negatively impact on your health. Don’t listen to what anyone says, no one knows you better than you and please keep doing what you’re doing. Lots of love and hugs xxx

  35. I have never seen it better said than this. Thank you for this clearing of the air. I’m going to tell you that a little synchronicity got me here. I also found a way to change how I get notification of your posts so they come directly to my e-mail. I was supposed to read this today. Thank you.

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