Overwhelmed and exhausted? Check your boundaries!

“Boundaries are, in simple terms, the recognition of personal space.” 
Asa Don Brown

I woke, overwhelmed and panicked, at 3am on Monday morning.

This isn’t usual for me. I’m by nature calm, centred and strong.

I knew part of why I was awake. An old friend had died the day before in an accident – and the news had left me shocked and upset. Apart from that I’ve got some pressing deadlines right now and I’ve had too much on my plate. We have ongoing family worries. Some of the people around me haven’t been carrying their share of the load, leaving me stressed and with more work to do and more decisions to make.

This is a week whose energies suit focus and mindfulness. I decided yesterday to revisit my priorities, to delegate more work, to clear a few more things from my to-do list or postpone them. I thought I’d sorted things out. I felt much better in myself.

And then I woke again this morning at 2am, crippled by anxiety.

Why, Nicole? I asked myself. What’s going on?

I meditated, which helped a little, and then sat down at my desk. And there was the problem…

Thirteen new facebook messages since 6pm with people asking for advice, guidance or support. Three of them serious, urgent issues. Twenty-seven new emails of the same nature. Six of those equally serious. Two urgent text messages on my phone. Somehow, over the past two years I have become an unofficial emergency help-line for my community and beyond.

It’s an avalanche of desperation, and I can’t keep up, although I have been trying.

As I deal with these urgent messages my own work is lagging behind, my own life is being relegated to second place. Or third. And none of that work is paid.

While I sat at my desk in the cold, lonely hours – overwhelmed by the pain of others, and my need to help everyone as best I could – I realised that my tank was almost empty. I’m neglecting my own relationships, needs and well-being to tend to the needs of others.

And I knew then what I needed to do.

I need to find a better way. A better way to help. Better boundaries for me. Some new fences and gatekeepers. A bigger team.

I knew I’d come to my truth because the sense of relief and clarity was palpable.

So this morning I’m asking you the same questions. Because I’m worried about you. Because I know you’re like me and you’re feeling it too:

  • Where do you need to build new fences?
  • Where do you need to create or maintain boundaries?
  • How can you find more time just for you?
  • What do you need to start doing differently, in order to make your life work better?

This is the only precious life you get – this one will never come again. And your wellbeing is tied to boundaries as much as it is also tied to living with an open heart.

I’m holding you in my prayers and meditations, and sending you so much love,

Please accept my apologies if I haven’t answered your message. I’m swamped. There is only one of me, and I just can’t keep up. Let me find a better way for us, okay?
All my love, Nicole ❤ xx

 

Are You Protecting What Matters? – Monday Oracle 19 March 2018

“If you want to live an authentic, meaningful life, you need to master the art of disappointing and upsetting others, hurting feelings, and living with the reality that some people just won’t like you. It may not be easy, but it’s essential if you want your life to reflect your deepest desires, values, and needs.” 
Cheryl Richardson

 

Hello, Lovelies!

March is a month for relationships, commitment to what matters to us, and for being unapologetically ourselves. The more we stay true to ourselves in March the more we will be able to manifest profound and/or quite magical changes! Keep that in mind as we look at the gifts of awareness which the oracle card The Three Little Pigs brings us.

Do you remember the story of The Three Little Pigs? They were terrorised by a wolf who was threatening to eat them. The first pig built a house of straw, and the second a house of sticks but both of these places, which should have been safe zones, were destroyed by the wolf who huffed and puffed and blew them down. Those two pigs ran for safety to the house of the third pig, who had built his home of bricks. The wolf couldn’t blow this house down so he tried to trick the pigs into coming out.  Finally he gained entry to the house via the chimney but the pigs had built a fire and placed an enormous cooking pot of boiling water in the fireplace. Through their own cleverness and strong boundaries the pigs remained safe.

This week the Three Little Pigs Card reminds us about having good boundaries. March is a month for being with the people we love, doing what matters to us, and committing to what is important in our lives. Do you have time for yourself and your relationships or is work taking all of your time? Can you pay the bills each month or is debt consuming you? Are people in your household or at work pulling their weight or are you doing everything yourself? Is there any time and space in your life for your hobbies and interests? Do you get enough ‘alone time’ to be by yourself or to work on your art  (whatever that may be)?

It’s a great week for creating strong boundaries in our lives. It’s a week for standing up for what we value and believe in, and for being a voice for those who do not have one. It’s also a week to put our house in order – making sure that our paperwork, insurances and licences are current and that we have smoke alarms, doors that lock properly, strong passwords on our internet accounts and anything else that makes our home, loved ones, possessions and intellectual property safe and secure.

Three Little Pigs heralds a practical week where we can bring our lives into better alignment with our values, and where we can make real changes to create calm, safety and space for ourselves. We are reminded that it is worth placing effort and time into building ourselves a strong and secure future.

Supportive crystals this week?

Black Tourmaline (pictured) helps us set and uphold strong boundaries, and supports us when we feel uncertain or fearful. Clear Quartz amplifies intuition and our ability to tune in to Universal and Personal Wisdom. Use it to get clear about what matters in your life! Amazonite helps us to live bravely, defending and protecting what is important to us. Red Jasper is a stone for mental, physical and emotional rejuvenation. Deeply grounding, it helps us connect to our heart and our truth and encourages a sense of safety. 

Black tourmaline

 

Helpful essential oils?

I’m loving Young Living’s Valor again this week. It has a woodsy, calming fragrance that immediately soothes me and helps me to feel grounded and strong in myself. Place a few drops on soles of feet, wrists, over heart, throat and back of neck to help you feel calm, empowered and safe.

Want to make your own blend? Each of these oils work well together or on their own: Lavender keeps us in flow and relaxed, Orange is uplifting, busts stress and helps us overcome self-doubt, Vetiver helps us feel safe and grounded, and reduces anxiety. Ylang Ylang opens our hearts and is supportive when we feel anxious or overwhelmed. To diffuse add 2 or three drops of each oil to your room or personal diffuser. You can find the oils here.

 

Holding you, as always, in my thoughts, prayers and meditations, and intending for you a life of abundance and joy, where you are no longer limited by your doubts.

All my love,

Nicole ❤ xx

PS: Monday’s oracle card, ‘The Three Little Pigs’, is from the Inner Child Cards – A Fairy-Tale Tarot. I use any cards shown as a prompt for channelled messages and my own own intuitive wisdom, so my take is sometimes quite different to the meaning found in a book. 

 

Monday Oracle -12 March 2018

“Don’t be afraid of your fears. They’re not there to scare you. They’re there to let you know that something is worth it.” 
― C. JoyBell C.

 

Hello, Lovelies!

March is a month for relationships, commitment to what matters to us, and for being unapologetically ourselves. The more we stay true to ourselves in March the more we will be able to manifest profound and/or quite magical changes! Keep that in mind as we look at the gifts of awareness which the oracle card Nine of Wands brings us.

This week we are reminded to be brave and strong. Whatever problems are facing us we can stand up to them. We have gained much insight and wisdom, and that is helping us to make good decisions. We are nearly there at our goal. Now is the time to be resolute and keep going.

Help is also at hand this week. Don’t be afraid to seek the advice or assistance of others. Know that there are people who have the skills and wisdom you need to guide you through your challenges. Seek them out and accept offers of help graciously.

Nine of Wands encourages us to set clear boundaries, and to be unwavering in our use of them. We can keep ourselves and our families safe. We must protect what is precious to us, and nurture and safeguard our dreams. Do all you can to manage any anxiety and stress arising from your current situation. Stay calm and focused. You will get through this and you will win.

This week we are shown that with a clear goal, persistence and courage we can achieve our objective. Don’t listen to the doubters this week. Guard your time carefully and be mindful of who you let into your space. It’s a fantastic week for creating or achieving change, so hang in there and don’t give up.

Supportive crystals this week?

Clear Quartz amplifies intuition and your ability to tune in to Universal and Personal Wisdom. Amazonite (pictured) helps us to live bravely, defending and protecting what is important to us. Red Jasper is a stone for mental, physical and emotional rejuvenation. Deeply grounding, it helps us connect to our heart and our truth and encourages a sense of safety. Green Aventurine supports us to be playful, joyful and optimistic about life

Helpful essential oils?

I’m loving Young Living’s Valor this week. Place a few drops on soles of feet, wrists, over heart, throat and back of neck to help you feel calm, empowered and safe.

Want to make your own blend? Each of these oils work well with Geranium: Lavender keeps us in flow and relaxed, Orange is uplifting, busts stress and helps us overcome self-doubt, Frankincense elevates our mood and promotes spiritual connection and intuition and Ylang Ylang opens our hearts and is supportive when we feel anxious or overwhelmed. To diffuse add 2 or three drops of each oil to your room or personal diffuser. You can find the oils here.

 

Need some extra support for your year?

Go grab one of my Year of ME Planners over at my Store (ME stands for Manifesting Energies, and the energies of 2018 are fabulous!) The digital full-year planner can be in your inbox in minutes, ready for you to review 2017 and begin mapping out what matters for you in 2018.

Want fun, friendship, learning and loveliness? Join my Year of ME community and year long course for webinars, meditations and loads of activities and helpful tools and the most fantastic online facebook group. A digital copy of our Planner is also included with this package. It’s where I hang out. I also pull cards for my members, comment on posts and give guidance and run exclusive online channelling events to help my community learn and grow. Plus awesome discounts and offers. You’ll feel right at home with us! Details in my store.

I’ve got a fabulous course and coaching options if you are a heart and soul centred entrepreneur or if you want to be. Come join my YOMpreneur group and let me help you create or grow your business. (Doors close March 15!)

All the information you need is over at my Store.

Holding you, as always, in my thoughts, prayers and meditations, and intending for you a life of abundance and joy, where you are no longer limited by your doubts.

All my love,

Nicole ❤ xx

PS: Monday’s oracle card, ‘Nine of Wands’, is from the Inner Child Cards – A Fairy-Tale Tarot. I use any cards shown as a prompt for channelled messages and my own own intuitive wisdom, so my take is sometimes quite different to the meaning found in a book.