Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.James Baldwin
I did something quite radical yesterday.
Radical, but so in keeping with the energies of August, and this Lion’s Gate Portal.
I set up a meeting with my team. I sat in front of my screen, their lovely faces so supportive, and we talked. I took a deep breath, and I changed things.
At the end of 2019 (doesn’t that seem a lifetime ago?) I cancelled all of my retreats and I cleared my books of appointments. I decided that 2020 would be a sabbatical year. I was burned out. I was exhausted. And I’d never had time to sit and process nearly dying, three brutal years of Lyme treatment, going blind when I had my hysterectomy and not knowing if I would ever regain my sight, heart damage, living with an intractable urinary tract infection which made my life miserable and then ramped up and nearly killed me, and all of the other health hiccups and ups and down in between. On top of drought. On top of nursing a family member until their passing. On top of catastrophic bushfires. On top of my normal crazy psychic life where I spend a lot of time supporting people in trauma or in passing over.
But 2020 came, and so did COVID, and suddenly I was deep back into working long hours, supporting our community, running online events and courses and free webinars, and living in lockdown in Brisbane on my own where the internet was stable, while Ben stayed at the farm at Byron Bay to look after the animals. Towards the end of the year we sold the farm, I broke my foot, Ben hurt his back, and we staggered through to early March, where we finally left the farm and began moving into the treehouse here on the Sunshine Coast. Somehow life had morphed into 2021, and I was still working hard, and I hadn’t caught my breath or had a rest.
Then, last week, I got my first Pfizer vaccination. I’m glad I did. I will soon get my second dose. But… But it flared up the inflammation in my heart. It stirred up my arrhythmia. A known side-effect. One I now need to manage. I have a constant low-grade pain in my chest. It affects my sleep. It’s uncomfortable, and annoying, and I am working with my cardiologist to get it back under control. Which I am confident we will do. It will just take time.
So, I am listening to my heart. I am honouring the second chance I was given a few years ago, when I didn’t die. I am simplifying a few things, and making more space for rest and for writing. For the rest of this year, and for next year too.
My Inner Circle membership will stay the same (with our monthly meditations, our fortnightly book club, our open office sessions and our regular channelling events – as well as our library of online courses, meditations and videos), and so will my psychic readings and business coaching sessions. I will still be blogging. I still have some amazing surprises to unveil at the appropriate time. But some other things will be changing, and some of my current scheduled events and online courses will be postponed. As I have more details, I’ll let you know.
Self care is important, and I would be setting a poor example if I didn’t honour my own needs as much as I honour yours.
I’d also like to ask you, is there anything you need to change? Are you making time for your own wellbeing, your own dreams, the things that are important to you?
Life’s short and precious, and this isn’t a dress rehearsal. Let’s all make the most of the time that we have on this good earth.
Hugs, deep breaths, and lashings of self-care, Nicole xx