A Week For Big Feelings – Monday Oracle 7 August 2023

 

The best way out is always through.
― Robert Frost

Hello, Lovelies!

This Quarter I am using The Sacred Forest Oracle by Denise Linn, with artwork by Scott Breidenthal, for my weekly oracle readings.

Our card to guide us for the week ahead is 3. Aspen Spirit – COURAGE. 

2023 is a year for change, creating solid foundations, and for spiritual journeying. It’s a year for personal growth, and for clarifying who you are, what you want, and why you are here.

August encourages us to acknowledge ourselves as energetic as well as physical beings, and to find and give thanks for the sacred in our everyday lives as we nurture our dreams and open our hearts to opportunity.

3. Aspen Spirit – COURAGE. 

This week calls you to acknowledge and honour your current or hidden-and-undealt-with struggles. So often we tell ourselves that we are fine, we tell others ‘I’m fine’, we feel guilty for the things which trouble us and that we consider to be ‘first world problems’ when otherwise we are ‘so blessed’.

But that’s just another form of emotional gaslighting – one that you’re doing to yourself.

Your feelings exist for a reason, and this week you’re encouraged to tune in, to pay attention to those feelings, to create space so you can work with those feelings, make space for those thoughts, and to become a person your feelings can be safe with. Feelings are not scary, good, or bad. They are simply emotions that need to be felt. They may be things you need to share with the people who love you. They may also require you to reach out and get help and support so you can navigate those feelings. In feeling your feelings and expressing them, the feelings will pass through you and bring relief, clarity, and a starting place for new things to come. Feeling them will help you to get unstuck from the past, and create opportunities for healing, renewed energy and a deeper sense of knowing yourself. And that’s always a good thing! Open your heart this week to the healing journey that feeling your feelings can bring.

My Top Tip For The Week Ahead:  

Unsure where to start? Pull a card, do some journalling, put your hands over your heart, close your eyes, and ask yourself “How do I feel right now?” Acknowledge and breathe through whatever comes up for you, and then ask yourself “What next?” Let your wise self show you if you need to feel this, sit with it, take some kind of action, or reach out to a friend, family member or professional. Be kind and gentle with yourself, and know that courage comes as a result of taking action even when you are afraid.

Stuck with creating a satisfying life for yourself or understanding your best direction forward? Maybe you need a session with me to bring some extra clarity and direction. Details here

Crystals to support you this week – Clear Quartz, Tiger Eye, Turquoise, Garnet, Black Tourmaline, Blue Lace Agate

Me right now? It’s complicated.
I’ll admit it. It’s been a frustrating week for me. After a solid few months of feeling better and having more energy and health improvements these last several days since the middle of the week have been the opposite of that.

Part of me understands. This is what it is to have chronic, progressive and degenerative illnesses. You get good days and bad days. Bad nights. Bad weeks. Bad months. Bad years. When you’re on the upswing it’s easy to keep living as if there won’t be a downswing. When you’re in the bottom of a downswing it’s hard to imagine that the upswing will come again.

Right now my left eye, the Lyme affected one, won’t focus, my left eyelid keeps going into uncontrollable twitching, and I have intermittent but smashing optic nerve pain so bad I have considered thrusting a fork into my eyeball. Not that I would. But pain makes you think the strangest thoughts.

Right now I have horrific thigh cramps, low back pain and body pain, stiffness, blurred vision, insomnia, heart palpitations, night sweats (not the menopause kind), ice pick headaches, off-the-charts fatigue and I’m cold and constipated and anxious and everything is dry – especially my eyeballs. The kind of dry where I wake in agony and madly drop synthetic tears into my eyes to avoid corneal abrasions and ulcers. Although, judging by the way my ‘good’ (ie non-Lymey) right eyeball feels (ouch!)  I think something like that has already happened. I’ll see a doc about that this morning. Meanwhile I’ll do all the things I usually do when my eyes get this bad. Tired? I have that bone-deep exhaustion which nothing relieves, and where the simplest tasks wear me out. So, thyroid, I’m looking at you. Because I know you, and I know what you do to me…

Back to my specialists again this week. Maybe they’ll have a better idea of what may have triggered this, or what we can do to get things back in balance, especially my Hashimoto’s. My poor thyroid is not behaving at all, and when it misbehaves it throws everything else into disarray. Sometimes it’s easy to pinpoint what my trigger was: stress, overexertion, a late night, the wrong food, a Lyme or co-infection flare, an infection. Sometimes it’s not. In the end, no matter what the cause, all that matters is finding relief.

I think the hardest part is that after months of making gains I am suddenly not. And all the plans I have, the lists of tasks, my manuscripts, the things that need me, the things I am longing to do, are waiting. I don’t know how long the wait will be. I keep reminding myself that I need to manage myself and manage my expectations. I give myself little pep talks. No panic, please Nicole. We can do hard things. Just rest. It will all work out.

Part of me is so damned tired that honestly I almost don’t care. Part of me is weeping in a corner, wanting to be the me I was a week ago, before this latest backslide. Part of me is calm, and circumspect, and composing memoir in my mind. For when I can write again. Because, like all things, I know this too shall pass. I have forty years of experience at this chronic ill-health thing. Anyway, I’ve already gone from no good hours a day to short bursts of energy. The kind of energy where I can make a meal, or sit at my desk to pay bills or write a bit of a blog post before I have to lie down again. That’s progress. Let’s hope I get some more good ideas from my medical team this week to ensure that progress continues. Keep your fingers crossed for me. And thank goodness I have a great team around me, at work, and at home, so that I can in fact lie around until my body finds its balance again.
Much love, and more rest, Nicole xx