My Latest Obscenities…

“Whenever you speak the truth, someone will be offended.” 
Laurence Overmire

Yesterday I posted about having the flu (no fun!) and with that post I included pictures of myself showing me as I am right now – sick with the flu!

Thanks to everyone who sent me messages of love, care and support. I’m so grateful for the wave of positive energy and blessings you sent my way. Right now I’m being very well cared for, including by Nurse Rufous who has taken the reigns from Nurse Bert.

Inevitably though I had a few comments yesterday suggesting that these pictures were a bad idea. I also had a message from an entrepreneurial friend who suggested that the pics might ‘harm my brand’. Apparently the photos are less than flattering, and in the one where I am asleep I not only look sick but ‘old and wrinkled with bad hair.’

Yep, it’s true.

People, I recently turned fifty. I have chronic late-stage lyme. I also have the flu. I’ve been REALLY ill. I look trashed because I am. And I’m not going to apologise for that. Old and wrinkly with bad hair? I own it. Luckily it’s only a picture because I probably smelled bad too! Looking stylish and well-groomed when I’m acutely sick doesn’t even rate on my priority list. (Please note that this is different to being chronically sick, where you feel exhausted, in pain or suffer ongoing problems on a daily basis and in that space making an effort with your appearance can actually help you feel better about yourself. Also, many of us suffer invisible illnesses – meaning that you CAN’T SEE the problem – so you might wrongly attribute someone looking good with being well, which is often an incorrect assumption.)

I also received a message from a young entrepreneur who is just starting out in business. She reached out to me (think SPAM) from a forum for entrepreneurs where I happen to be a member.

Her message? To be prepared for a ‘stunningly sexy summer’ she has a great invitation-only program to maximise our thigh gap. To be selected we had to send a photo of our existing thigh gap (image could be up to two years old as long as it was indicative of our current thigh gap situation) so she could determine what level of program we’d need to be on. There was nothing to be ashamed of, her message assured me. I needed to be brave and send in that photo! Then all we had to do was pay our money, follow her thigh gap program and self-worth would be ours. Also, men dig thigh gaps.

I was feeling a little pernickety yesterday at being told how much my life would change if only I could be disciplined enough to have a decent thigh gap (yes, thigh gap is a thing!). I honestly have more important things to think about, like my health, living by my values, looking after the planet, being kind, writing, supporting my community, living each day as well as I can. Still, I dutifully sent in the only photo I could find of my thigh gap. (Did I mention pernickety?)

Within twenty minutes my inbox exploded. Message after message rolled in. This young entrepreneur was outraged. I was horribly offensive. Sick even. What did I think I was doing, sending her such a disgraceful photo? I disgusted her.

‘Also, is that a WEE thing????? That is SO inappropriate. SOOOOO OFFENSIVE. WTF Nicole?????’, she shouted at me in big stabby caps. ‘WTF???? YOU’RE DESPICABLE AND OBSCENE!!!’

Wee thing? You bet! Here’s my thigh gap after my second emergency surgery to repair a tear in my bladder post-hysterectomy back in September 2016. That tube is my catheter. The yellow stuff is indeed wee (or urine if we are being specific).

The wee’s a good colour. You might also note that there is a healthy amount of thigh gap going on there. So I’m pretty happy with this photo.

Even though it’s offensive.

So, to anyone I have offended with my oldness, my bad hair, my wrinkles and unflattering selfies, my posts about health issues or with my highly offensive thigh gap with catheter…

I’m not sorry!

This is my life, and I’m grateful for it. I won’t hide the ugly and hard bits from you ever. Why should I be ashamed of being human? Why should I feel or be treated as ‘less than’ if I am not young and svelte and in perfect health with an extreme sports yoga-body, perfect hair and total hipsterness?

There’s an unsubscribe button here on my blog, and you can always unfollow or unfriend me if you’re finding this through social media. Because from here on in I am sure there will be more bad hair days and wrinkles and who knows what else, and I’ll blog about it all.

Much love, Nicole xx


Hi! I'm Nicole Cody. I am a writer, psychic, metaphysical teacher and organic farmer. I love to read, cook, walk on the beach, dance in the rain and grow things. Sometimes, to entertain my cows, I dance in my gumboots. Gumboot dancing is very under-rated.
Posts created 3017

78 thoughts on “My Latest Obscenities…

  1. Hey Nicole, That has happened to you before…good to see your urine is a good colour. I also speak the truth at times and am always surprised at the reactions from people. There is always one who cannot cope. If that is who we are then that is who we are…I attempt to moderate myself but my true self inevitably shines through….ha…hope you are getting better…

  2. Dearest Nicole,

    Read this over two whole days ( cos other duties kept me pretty much pre occupied). Truth knows it got me cracking over twice I went through it. I didn’t know how to quite end my read – with an Amen, Hear hear or a Hurrah. In short you got this dear!!!! Women ( and men) change their appearance owing to fluctuations in their health , or simply bcos their age says so. Personally I have heard miserable criticism ( from folks I know quite well)for the way the Divine has created me, to the way I looked dawning on the role of a mother. Quite rarely, there have been very kind remarks from absolute strangers as well. So on this ride together, the way we are, alongside you, just the way you are. Keep penning down those thoughts, a bit rebelliously might I add ;).

    Lots of love and hugs….

  3. Nicole,
    I hope you feel better soon. When I was a young, stupid teenager all I wanted was to be popular and have a “thigh gap”. Oh yes, and be tall, lol. Now I am 63 and just very much happy to be alive. Trying to teach my grandaughters that life is more than how you look and be confident and happy. And kind. I think you look beautiful…….jen

  4. Oh my, people get so upset and worried about the weirdest of things…. We are not made at a factory and we are not sold at a supermarket where we all have to have the same sizes and shapes…

    We love you exactly as you are and I hope you get well soon!

    Loads of love going your way,

  5. I’m sure my comment will be lost here but I’m having such a shitty day and this made me laugh for the first time.
    Use of the word “pernickety” made it all the more hilarious.

    You do you.

    Hope you get better soon.

  6. You keep right on Nicole! we are living in a world where artificial intelligence dolls for men are being sold by the dozen! “women” who can pamper the ego, massage the parts and who dont get sick, have babies or menstruation, who dont get headaches or colds or wear catheters or die. or get older and wrinkly and loose their teeth!!!!! The world is insane!
    YOU are real and your photos are honest and real and truthful and there are still some who appreciate those qualities. By the way, we dont need to save bees! because we can have liitle bee bot drones instead.
    Brave lady, you keep ON!!!! I love you xx and thank you.

  7. OMG! Too funny! You Rock Sleeping Beauty ! Too bad you didn’t send out an audio with the pics snoring up a storm ! Some people eh? Thigh gap? Good god what’s next? You take care and get well! We love ya to the moon and back!
    Thigh gap or no thigh gap! ……. my god I’m still shakin’ my head! AhahAhaha! As for your “brand” it’s awesome just the way it is! Love Paula ❤️❤️

  8. Ah! ha! Nicole, well done! Couldn’t help a broad smile at seeing your picture. Great sense of humour and of reality 🙂 !

  9. Best Post Ever!!!
    I absolutely love you more and more each day!!
    LUV The thigh gap girlfriend !! And the catheter line and yes the wee was looking good nicely hydrated:)
    We need more people in the word like you… your bloody awesome.. xxx {{hug}}
    Hurry up and get better 🙂
    Can’t wait to see you and give you a big hug at Mala workshop… just can’t wait.. xxxx oooo

  10. Wow, she has the nerve to contact you about THIGH GAP and is then offended when you don’t care? And your pics display real life, not shallow pretend bullshit. Thigh gap…. the things people worry about.

  11. Before you were born, sweet Nicole, there was an hilarious Australian comedienne called Dawn Lake. In one of her more popular skits, her stock reply was, “You tell ‘em, love”. Glad you did just that yesterday, in your own unique way. Glad, also, that the ‘flu hasn’t dented your sense of humour. Still have you in my prayers. Lots of love to you and the gang xox

  12. What I find amazing is the young woman’s impertinence!
    She is lucky you did not publish her brand!
    I just came back from Bali with a heavy cold and I am sure my pic would be old tired sick and show a bad hair day too today.Not everyone who follows you is 20 and not many want airbrushed pics!
    Hope each day brings improvement. Xxx

  13. Oh Nicole dam dam dam all for a thigh gap. Bloody hell! I always thought your brand is the authentic you in all your glory and warts. Keep being you. Btw i had asian flu as a young child one of my early memories. And another bad flu in the 70’s and i empathise and sympathise. My thryoid is at the point of more treatment or surgery. Doc gave me vitamin b12 injection the other week and has made an awesome difference. Oh and made redundant today. But heck we wi get there. Just keep being you just as you are. Love to the nirses including ben xxxxxx

  14. God I cheered for you so loudly reading that! I adore your posts, they are always real, and for someone like me with fibro and other things, it helps me no end to know there are others who know that thigh gaps are not life priority!! Just keep swimming lovely, hope you’re feeling brighter today 💛

  15. Wow Nicole, you go girl!! Not only are you an inspiration to us all when you are “well” but even more so when you are not! You are an absolute star. Sending much love and healing energy to you and

  16. You are ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!!! And to hell with anyone who thinks otherwise…! You are the only blog I have a subscription to because you are lovely inside & out. Everyone in the world right now could use you as an example of what a real woman is. Thank you for sharing your life with us all, the good, and the not so good. Here’s wishing you a speedy recovery!!

  17. 👏🏼👏🏼 You go girl! Your response was priceless👍.This is why I follow your blog because you are so REAL! No smoke and mirrors with you my dear….Thank you for speaking up and standing up for the REAL woman. Your come back……. was just pure gold.👌
    Please get well soon my beautiful friend. Xox💕💐🙏🏼

  18. Nicole, I can’t even express how much I love your persnickety-ness!! You are beautiful and amazing–my hero and role model!!! Even though I’m older than you I can only hope that when I “grow up” I can be just like you (clever and bold, etc…)!! Lol!! Please keep on being you and being real. It gives me hope and courage!! <3

  19. Nicole,
    Thank you for your authenticity. You are my hero! Being human does mean more than just showing a pretty presentation package. I was discussing this very same self- love and acceptance for oneself with my girlfriends today. I am 58 and proud to have made it this far! We have unrealistic and hurtful body image beliefs especially for women here in the USA that only serves to make us hate ourselves. I will never wear highheels again! As a former pro ballet dancer, my feet deserve comfort. I told my friends, “When my cat was chunky it didn’t make me love her any less! Why would I like myself less because I am heavier now?” I have been
    110lbs. and unhappy. Now I know who I am, and I am secure with my knowledge. I believe you are also.
    Don’t let the turkeys get you down.

    With geniune appreciation,

  20. Love you for your honesty Nicole. I just turned 53, I have wrinkles and gray hair and to be totally honest I haven’t had a thigh gap in years nor do I think I’ll ever have one again lol. I truly don’t know how people can be so insensitive. How can anyone think pictures of you sick with flu can offend them, when will they realize that not everything is about them. Take care of yourself and thank you for taking time to update us when you’re feeling so unwell.

  21. Oh my stars!! I laughed out loud at your thigh gap picture!! Hilarious! I have those moments where I am “pernickety” too!! I have a friend who used to say “I was overtaken by the BowWow Goddess and she made me do it!”. So I always blame the BowWow Goddess now when I have those moments where I HAVE to be a little bit naughty. I love it, and I love your realness and your rawness. I too am (nearly) 50, I have grey hair, flabby arms, wrinkles, but it is a privalege to be alive and I will not apologise for any of it. Keep going Nicole!!

  22. Healing and Love coming your way! That’s the way to tell it, girl! I mean, on top of being deathly ill and totally miserable do we have to pretend that we never LOOK ill and totally miserable? Come on, women (some women) let’s be real and show each other the truth without judgement. Otherwise, how can we claim to love each other totally?

    Oh, and thanks SO much for cluing me in to the importance of Thigh Gap! Ha ha! Good thing I’m old now and don’t care!

  23. You. YOU YOU YOU.
    You ROCK.

    Way to go, girl!!!

    Sending you Healing Light…
    and an Oscar for Best Thigh Gap.

    I love you!

  24. Nicole – you make it ok for the rest of us to unapologetically have a bad day (or longer!) without feeling like there is something wrong with us. I am grateful for your sharing your wonderful insights, wisdom, and appreciation of the beauty in life, as well as the ugly, scary, painful, messy parts too. That’s what life is sometimes, and that’s what friends are for! We help each other get through. You are a beautiful sweet soul in a world that has seemingly lost its soul in exchange for politically correct, photo shopped, dumbed down, over medicated, intolerant and juvenile insanity. Keep on keeping on – we love you just the way you are!

  25. Some people are easily offended, not me, what I saw in yesterdays photos was a sick but strong woman still hanging in there despite feeling like death warmed up. You are amazing and if other people have a problem screw them

  26. Hope you are feeling better soon Nicole. You always look beautiful. I’m glad you sent that photo to ‘thigh gap woman’, I don’t like that she is trying to make other women feel like lesser beings because they may not have a thigh gap. Ugh. Cruelty. You are definitely not damaging your ‘brand’ with photos of you feeling ill. Obviously you are being your real authentic self. I totally love and support that. Thank you. Feel well soon gorgeous soul. xxxxx Lynette

  27. OMG Nicole you are hilarious and we love you for it 🙂 I find the sender offensive suggesting thigh gap is something all men dig!!!! Who gives a toss – doesn’t she know self esteem is looking after yourself not doing it to be supported by a man – Oh reallllly!!! Even after being assaulted by the flu and all the other gremy things you maintain your sense of humor and irony – SHE is GROSS and OFFENSIVE – you on the other hand are light and love personified. Get better soon xxxxx

  28. You rock Nicole!!! I admire your strength for showing the world all aspects of your life. No filters, just real. It’s humbling and inspiring. Hope you feel better soon and that you get back to feeling as good as you did prior to this horrible flu. Take care of yourself, take care of your health. Rest up, sleep much, love lots. Love you, love your blog. Big huge hug to you. 😘💜💙

  29. I love your blog & your courage sharing with all of us your feelings at a very low point when you are so sick. I am glad you have good help & feel better real soon. I find you inspiring every day. Love your pinickerty Go Girl…xo

  30. Would have been disappointed if you hadn’t shown your sense of humour and honesty. The soul is what matters. Get well dear lady. Much love. Mx

  31. I love your blog this morning. And I don’t like your blog this morning. How can we as humans be so unkind to each other? And you go girl – I love your thigh gap and that wee looks perfect to me and yes sometimes we have crap days /crap months/crap years. And I love when we are real and show the bits of us that are imperfectly perfect. Nicole Cody you are perfect. I will always follow you. Another round of hugs coming your way. 💞😌❌❌❌

  32. Thanks to you and your blog I knew something was up; and down. We love you wee wee Nicole. Let it rain yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet !!

  33. I bellowed with laughter at your thigh gap photo and the crazy response!
    What a wonderful hand grenade.
    The thigh gap spammer is doing all women a disservice.
    Your male entrepreneurial friend is in the same category.
    Your clients adore you and don’t give a damn how you look- they love you not your looks. It’s so superficial.
    We need to be able to be ourselves at the age we are.

  34. Nicole, you are AWESOME! Thank you for always being honest and forthright and for your pernickityness when it’s called for! I read your blog every day and I’m always uplifted by it, even when it’s not always good news, because it’s always honest. Thank you for sharing your bad times as well as your good. I also have chronic illness and often how I look is waaaaayyyyy down the list of things to apply my mind to. Thank you for helping everyone see that illness happens, that bed-head and un-polishedness happens and that when it does, that we don’t have to multiply the pain and distress by also feeling bad about ourselves because we aren’t supermodels. Wrapping myself in self-love and forgiveness and compassion when I feel sick and unproductive has been one of the hardest lessons I’ve learnt and I COULD NOT HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU. I hope you are able to rest all you need and recover gracefully and fully feel well again and keep shining your beautiful light into the world. xxxx

  35. Too bad for them, all I saw was a beauty and light recharging it’s radiance. I hope they find they’re own radiance one day, maybe it’s in the gap?!

  36. I love you, Nicole. Thank you for keeping it real. This crazy airbrushed, shallow part of the world is a worry.
    Your “brand” of being authentic is much more real, comforting and relatable. It’s real life- not some kind of fake faacade.
    Thank you so much for being you. I LOVE your sens of humour. Love your thigh gap!
    Keeping space for you and hope you’re over this awful flu soon.
    Sending love & healing xoxoxo

  37. Good grief!… what is wrong with people??… I, for one, LOVE Your blogs and seeing photos… and dont give a rats if you are not absolutely put together!… its real and its life!… as for being offensive…NEVER!
    Im glad that nurse Rufus has taken the reins… you are in good hands ( paws)
    You just concentrate on getting better please and perhaps unsubscribe from the judgemental entrepreneurs!
    (Rant finished…😉) 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

  38. I love that you are you! This is why I follow this page, I spent many a time following people whose lives were so perfect online that I felt less than and not worthy. Sending lots of hugs, love, healing vibes. You are beautiful just as you are inside and out. So thank you.

  39. I love you Nicole. Just the way you are because you are amazing. I turned 50 in September and I have a chronic illness on tip of depression and PTSD and I have no idea whether I look 29 or 50 or 70. I know that I feel as ild as ine can be. I can hardly do few steos before I need to rest. Taking a shower needs planning and energy. Peoole criticize me for not wearing nice clothes or dying my hair or wearing shoes instead of slippers and it makes me feel so invisible. I know that I am me but all they see is my hair and clthes and fatigue? Love you. Be well. Thank you for this post

  40. Fuck ’em. Sorry if that offends, but they deserve it. Fuck ’em. If those are the only important things in their lives they don’t deserve your time or attention. Disregard that mess. We love you. We appreciate you. No explanations or apologies necessary, Nicole.
    More blessings and love to you!

  41. I hope you feel well, soon, Nicole. Meanwhile, thanks for being real. I have had those days. It is always good to know you are not alone, even in misery, madness, and feeling and looking old.
    Love you to bits.

  42. I love that you don’t wear a mask!! You’re true to yourself and why hide who you are!! Most entrepreneurs put a “face” a fake one to make seem that they are doing wonderful in order to recruit to whatvwe they’re selling. I hated sharing my personal life and being “real”. I greatly admire you for your strength and energy to keep moving forward. Some of us brake a maple and cry! Love you!

  43. Sending love to you Nicole.
    I am really shocked by the comments you have received. I don’t know what to say except, get well soon. Oh and even if you look tired and sick in your pics, your beautiful soul shines through. Always.

  44. Ha ha I love it. You are amazing. Heck, I do not think you look old,wrinkly or bad hair. You look like a sleeping,resting woman. Beautiful. Thank you for being you just as you are. You are so wonderful.I love you rocking the catherter. heeeeeeeeeheeeeee.

  45. Love you! And your thigh gap picture actually made me laugh… not because it’s funny (which it definitely isn’t) but that you found the perfect solution to shut this woman done. I love your pernickety self! Be well soon. 🤗🙏🏻

  46. I love how you are authentic and stay true to who you are and what you value. I will continue to follow your blog because you’ve touched my heart, my head and my soul on many occasions (though I haven’t reached out and said so – my apologies!). You inspire me and keep me going. Thanks for being you and sending you much joy and love.

  47. All the best and a lot of improvement and recovery I wish you,,,, from illnesses-you should not apologize to anyone on our Mother Earth is supposedly full-healthy,,, each of us has something if now does not come into appearance comes also later.. Home world is just fantasy.

  48. You go girl! I have not been in the slightest bit offfended by what you post. I admire your courage to post the real and imperfect (because aren’t we all in one way or another?!).
    As they say, ‘haters gonna hate’.
    I have found what you share is uplifting, honest, inspiring and true to yourself. I love your stories and recipes, so keep it up and rest when you need to. Be your authentic self.
    I hope you have been resting and feeling better as each day passes.
    Much love to you xx

    PS. Your thigh gap pic is awesome. I think it is wonderful that we have such amazing health care available to us and that photo represents that.

  49. You had me cheering and giggling Nicole. You dare to go where others would not. I appreciate your honest open sharing. There are too many facades, false images and games to be played these days I love it when someone simply puts their hand up and says- “this is me, grey hair, wrinkles and all. Take it or leave it.”

    None of us should not feel or be treated as ‘less than’ if we not young and svelte and in perfect health with an extreme sports yoga-body, perfect hair and a large thigh gap? Perhaps though we might be judged for not being shallow and ‘faceless’. Fancy having a wicked sense of humour, being authentic and having substance. 😍😍😍.

    Keep kicking those goals for strong women of substance everywhere. I’ll stand with you.

  50. So hard for many to accept themselves let alone others for having gray hair, no thigh gap etc….I applaud you for being real and showing how life is….it resonates with me and many, and I found nothing wrong with any of your pictures! I love your courage for showing us life…..I learn so much from this.

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