Can you hear those tiny violins playing?
Living In A Body – The Things No-One Talks About
We all have bodies. We all have souls. And all of us hurt sometimes.
The Quiet Experiment
I didn’t expect that slowing down might also mean a bit of falling apart too…
What It Felt Like Coming Home
Sometimes, all you need is the relief of coming home…
Milestones
My path has not been determined. I shall have more experiences and pass many more milestones. ~ Agnetha Faltskog Hey, Lovelies. It’s been a pretty crappy 14 months healthwise, between late stage Lyme, a misbehaving heart, an intractable UTI superbug and a myxedema crisis – but I am delighted to say that I am […]
Stop Telling Me It Isn’t Fair
I have a favour to ask you today…
The Soul-Sucking Reality Of Chronic Illness
Having a chronic illness, Molly thought, was like being invaded. Her grandmother back in Michigan used to tell about the day one of their cows got loose and wandered into the parlor, and the awful time they had getting her out. That was exactly what Molly’s arthritis was like: as if some big old […]
The Usefulness Of Tears
Tears are words that need to be written. ~ Paulo Coelho Hey, Lovelies. I’ve had an unexpected companion these past few months. Tears. They sit just below the surface most days, and digging deeper rarely helps me see a cause. At first I had thought they might be illness related, but now? Now I […]
Getting to know my other neighbours
I think the most important quality in a birdwatcher is a willingness to stand quietly and see what comes. Our everyday lives obscure a truth about existence – that at the heart of everything there lies a stillness and a light. ― Lynn Thomson Hey, Lovelies. One of the best things about living in the […]
Not Fighting It
Fighting anything takes energy, so I’ve decided that’s not a great use of what little I have…
Well, That Was Unexpected…
She looked as if she were about to burst into tears, but she was wonderful at catching the ball of her own mood in mid-air. ~ Rebecca West Hey, Lovelies. Well, this has certainly been the year. As you know, I live with a complex bucketful of dodgy genes, autoimmune diseases, chronic infections, post-viral […]
Answering your questions about my wellbeing
Am I okay? Thanks for asking. Here’s my answer…
It’s Okay To Ask for Help
Problems are not the problem; coping is the problem. ~ Virginia Satir Hey, Lovelies. I know, I know. You are great at helping others. So good at it. You are also good at advising others to seek help. Because, we all need it from time to time, right? I also know that when we […]
Are You Ever Slow To Take A Hint? I Might Be…
“Signs. Senses. Synchronicities. Connect the dots. Follow the breadcrumbs to your destiny.” ~Anthon St. Maarten Hey, Lovelies. I was having a Facebook Live chat with my Inner Circle members yesterday, discussing the energies of the month, and how it’s a great time to pull a card for yourself to help you see the bigger […]
We, The Expendable
From the very depth of my being, I challenge the right of any man or any group of men, in business or in government, to tell a fellow human being that he or she is expendable. Jimmy Reid Hey, Lovelies.COVID is ripping through the Australian population right now. It’s causing panic, supply chain issues, food […]
Some Thoughts On Risk, COVID and Individual Responsibility
Life is mostly froth and bubble, Two things stand like stone. Kindness in another’s trouble, Courage in your own. Adam Lindsay Gordon Hey, Lovelies.I’ve had many messages and emails since my post about Sophie, a colleague who recently passed away from COVID. Missed it? You can catch up here.I’ve also had my share of unfollows, […]
True Love In The Shape Of A Star Trek Toy
It’s not safe out here. It’s wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross; but it’s not for the timid. Q – Star Trek Hey, Lovelies.I’ll be honest. It’s been a little rough here on the health front. Nothing catastrophic, but I’m experiencing some old Lyme symptoms that haven’t shown themselves for a […]
My Friend Peter And His Message For Me
Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass the world is too full to talk about. Rumi Hey, Lovelies. Yesterday I was searching the internet for something related to my health, and a familiar name came up in the Google […]
A Normal Friday Night
Normal is an ideal. But it’s not reality. Reality is brutal, it’s beautiful, it’s every shade between black and white, and it’s magical. Yes, magical. Because every now and then, it turns nothing into something. Tara Kelly Hey, Lovelies. This might not be a big deal to you, but it is to me. I had […]
Dear COVID Long Haulers – Don’t Give Up
Sometimes even to live is an act of courage. Lucius Annaeus Seneca Dear COVID Long Haulers, Welcome to my club. I’m so sorry you acquired membership to this motley band of chronic illness warriors, but you’re here now, so as newbies I’d like to show you around, and help you settle in. 1. Let’s talk […]
The Old Photo
What I like about photographs is that they capture a moment that’s gone forever, impossible to reproduce. Karl Lagerfeld Hey, Lovelies! A dear old school friend (Thanks, Genevieve!) sent me a photograph via Messenger last night. It was a picture of me, taken at a friend’s eighteenth birthday party. I laughed so hard. It was […]
Don’t ever give up on change
The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new Socrates Hey, Lovelies! I’m back in the city after my whirlwind trip away. I am delighted to inform you that I drove safely to my destination, had a relaxing time with family, and then […]
The Changes I’m Grateful For As An Immuno-Compromised Person In This COVID Era
Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world. Nelson Mandela Hey, Lovelies. I was looking back over my diary from this time a couple of years ago. I had travelled to attend a very small group training with a business mentor. Participants were coming from around the world. It […]
What Do Russian Roulette And COVID have in common?
It is easy to be wise after the event. Arthur Conan Doyle Hey, Lovelies. I know. I’m usually Love and Light and Optimism. But you also know, above all, I’m going to be real, I’m going to talk straight with you. I’m going to do that now. Because, you see, I’m worried that you are […]
Dear Immuno-Compromised People, A Message To You In These Unsettling Times
“Precaution is better than a cure.” Edward Coke Hey, Lovelies.Like myself, I know that many readers of my blog, and within our community, are immuno-compromised. Maybe you have an illness like Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Lyme, Hashimoto’s, Arthritis, Epstein Barr, Asthma or Diabetes. Maybe you have a genetic issue, like cystic fibrosis. Maybe you’re older or […]
I’m in self-isolation, and here’s why
“Boundaries are, in simple terms, the recognition of personal space.” Asa Don Brown Lovelies, I’ve just closed down the perimeters of my life. I’m in lock-down. Self-isolated, here at my farm. I intend to stay here, isolated, except for essential outings, for some months. Perhaps even all year. And that’s okay. I have internet and […]
I’m Not Ashamed
When I was first diagnosed with neurological incontinence (which comes and goes in me – I last had an attack a few years ago!) I looked everywhere for information and found almost none. It’s something no-one talks about.
You can still matter, make art, make a difference – even if you’re sick, broken or dying.
“She made broken look beautifuland strong look invincible.She walked with the Universeon her shoulders and made itlook like a pair of wings.” ~ Ariana Dancu Lovelies, I have something important to tell you and I need you to hear it and take the truth of it right down inside you so that it can illuminate those […]
A Week Of Wonders
“Well, I always know what I want. And when you know what you want–you go toward it. Sometimes you go very fast, and sometimes only an inch a year. Perhaps you feel happier when you go fast. I don’t know. I’ve forgotten the difference long ago, because it really doesn’t matter, so long as you […]
An ordinary night of magic!
“The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt We’re in the city right now, and last night something quite wonderful happened. Our neighbour joined Ben and I and we walked a few blocks down […]
Being Okay With Where You Are
“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” ~ Lao Tzu I’m still recovering from the flu, and gee, it’s taking muuuuuuch longer than I would have liked. On top of that I managed […]
Keeping It Real For You
“A good selfie is when you successfully capture the feeling of that very moment!” ~ Anamika Mishra Yesterday I ventured out into the world for the first time in weeks. This flu has really laid me low, and I’m still far from well but yesterday Ben, Cafe Dog and I went out to check the […]
My Latest Obscenities…
“Whenever you speak the truth, someone will be offended.” ~ Laurence Overmire Yesterday I posted about having the flu (no fun!) and with that post I included pictures of myself showing me as I am right now – sick with the flu! Thanks to everyone who sent me messages of love, care and support. I’m so […]
Me, Flu and You!
“There are in nature neither rewards nor punishments — there are consequences.” ~ Robert G. Ingersoll You might have noticed I’ve dropped off the face of the Earth these past few weeks. There’s a reason for that. I’ve just come face-to-face with a very nasty strain of influenza. For most people flu is a mild […]
Chronic Illness? This is a Spiritual Retreat for you!
“The lotus is the most beautiful flower, whose petals open one by one. But it will only grow in the mud. In order to grow and gain wisdom, first you must have the mud — the obstacles of life and its suffering. … The mud speaks of the common ground that humans share, no matter […]
A Very Quiet Anniversary
“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your […]
Song of the Sisterhood
“A sister is a gift to the heart, a friend to the spirit, a golden thread to the meaning of life.” ~ Isadora James These past few days have been hard. It’s been one thing after another. Then there’s the pain. It’s unrelenting. Drugs have helped take the edge off but it’s ground me […]
Apprehension
“You should have seen this coming,’ they said. I did see it coming. I saw it coming the way you see a train coming when you’re tied to the tracks.” ~ Margaret Andrews I’ve been awake since I don’t know when. No, that’s not true. 2.36am. I lay awake in the dark for a […]
This Dawning Day
“Veil after veil of thin dusky gauze is lifted, and by degrees the forms and colours of things are restored to them, and we watch the dawn remaking the world in its antique pattern.” ~ Oscar Wilde I woke earlier than usual today. 3am. The night air was cold, the comforter pulled right up […]
Where’s Your Focus?
“Very occasionally, if you pay really close attention, life doesn’t suck.” ~ Joss Whedon On Friday I posted about a beautiful ordinary day, and how much I had enjoyed such simple things as a trip to the farmers’ markets, clean sheets on the line, sunshine and crisp ripe apples. After that post I received two emails, extracts of […]
View From My Windows
“Set wide the window. Let me drink the day.” ~ Edith Wharton, Artemis to Actaeon and Other Verses My windows are both real and figurative. The picture above is the view from my bedroom window. This view changes hour by hour, and affords me much pleasure. In the early mornings the sky is grey, before becoming […]
Unexpected Blessings
“Women are never so strong as after their defeat.” ~ Alexandre Dumas I admit it. Yesterday, for a moment (or perhaps a little longer) I wondered how I would pick myself up and keep going. I cried. A lot. My doctor wants me to continue with another full course of the horror drugs which had me […]
Lyme and the Witches’ Mark
“The fables of Witchcraft have taken so fast hold and deepe root in the heart of man, that fewe or none can (nowadaies) with patience indure the hand and correction of God. For if any adversitie, greefe, sicknesse, losse of children, corne, cattell, or libertie happen unto them; by & by they exclaime uppon witches. […]
Chronically ill and Happy!
“The individual who says it is not possible should move out of the way of those doing it.” ~ Tricia Cunningham I’m not happy because I have a chronic illness – I’m happy because I still love my life! It’s possible, and in fact I think it’s necessary, to find happiness when life has dealt […]
The Patient should be Sleeping
“It is an awful thing to be betrayed by your body. And it’s lonely, because you feel you can’t talk about it. You feel it’s something between you and the body. You feel it’s a battle you will never win . . . and yet you fight it day after day, and it wears you […]
Lyme Schlyme!
“I keep sailing on in this middle passage. I am sailing into the wind and the dark. But I am doing my best to keep my boat steady and my sails full.” ~ Arthur Ashe The past few days have not been among my best. Physically I’ve struggled. It started earlier this week, of course, […]
On illness and being unreliable…
“I’m a very loyal and unreliable friend.” ~ Bono One of the issues you need to deal with when you or a family member lives with chronic illness is your unreliability factor. When I speak of chronic illness, I am talking about any condition that lasts for more than a few weeks, that doesn’t conform […]
How to take a Blessings Bath
“The unthankful heart discovers no mercies; but the thankful heart will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings.” ~ Henry Ward Beecher Today’s post is all about nurture. I want to share with you a process that I call a Blessings Bath. I usually take a Blessings Bath when I am feeling anything but blessed; when […]
Howling at the Moon
Those are the same stars, and that is the same moon, that look down upon your brothers and sisters, and which they see as they look up to them, though they are ever so far away from us, and each other. ~ Sojourner Truth It’s 2 o’clock in the morning and I’m wide awake; fretful […]
Living in the Lyme Light…
“Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.” ~ Helen Keller (June, 1880 – June, 1968) I’d love to be blogging something wonderful for you, and indeed that was my intention – I’ve got so much good stuff planned – but the past few days I’ve been […]
Loving myself lopsided…
“The play is done – the curtain drops, Slow falling to the prompter’s bell; A moment yet the actor stops, And looks around, to say farewell. It is an irksome word and task; And, when he’s laughed, and had his say, He shows, as he removes his mask, A face that’s anything but gay.” ~ […]
Vomiting in Public Places OR The Controversial ‘Vomit Post’
“Girls blush, sometimes, because they are alive, half wishing they were dead to save the shame. The sudden blush devours them, neck and brow; They have drawn too near the fire of life, like gnats, and flare up bodily, wings and all. What then? Who’s sorry for a gnat or girl?” ~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning […]
Fear of Crossing Roads
“No one has traveled the road of success without ever crossing the street of failures.” ~ Unknown I have an embarrassing confession. I’m not good at crossing roads by myself. It’s a legacy of the neurological damage caused by chronic Lyme Disease and various co-infections. Like most things it’s worse when I’m tired or unwell. My reaction […]
Diagnosis – Lyme Disease
‘All delays are dangerous in war.’ ~ John Dryden There’s a war going on in my body. In fact it’s been going on for a quarter of a century. First there came the enemy invasion. There was no loud and obvious display of force. Instead it was an invasion by stealth. A mass of tiny […]
Heal-All Chicken Soup Recipe
“If you’re blue, have the flu, or can’t seem to … then Chicken Soup is for you.” ~ Anon Looking for a quick meal to throw together? This is not it! My Heal-All Chicken Soup recipe takes time – 8 to 12 hours minimum. I make this soup as medicine in a bowl… Home-made chicken […]
Not knowing…
“Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.”~ Paulo Coelho Is it better to know or not know? It’s a question I’ve asked myself so many times that I can no longer trust the answer. I am dancing a slow dance with something that is […]
Sometimes Your Only Job is to Ask for Help
Problems are not the problem; coping is the problem. ~ Virginia Satir I have a friend going through a tough time right now. For her everything seems to be going wrong. There are substance abuse issues, and she thought by cleaning up and getting that out of the picture, somehow everything would be fixed. But […]