Accidental Angels

Magpie-in-a-tree-703x469

“A magpie can be happy or sad: sometimes so happy that he sits on a high, high gum tree and rolls the sunrise around in his throat like beads of pink sunlight; and sometimes so sad that you would expect the tears to drip off his beak.
This magpie was like that.”
~ Colin Thiele

 

I’ve had a restless night.

Pain. Broken sleep. Fevers.

But I came back into my body after a few hours of snatched sleep, and as I lay there with my eyes closed I heard angels singing.

It pleased me, and I nestled down in the pile of blankets and pillows, listening to their music.

It was only after a long while that I came to realise that it wasn’t angels, but magpies. They were sitting on the powerline just outside my bedroom window, deep in song.

I had no idea what time it was. Only that it was early, and dawn was a mere suggestion in a scrubby sky of low cloud and streaky stars.

 

Feathered angels.

What a blessed start to my day.

Here are some rather bedraggled magpies who sound a lot like the ones who sang for me…

This is How The Universe Works…

“There are no ordinary moments. There is always something going on.” ~  Peaceful Warrior

“Everything around us is made up of energy. To attract positive things in your life, start by giving off positive energy.” ~ Celestine Chua

A few days ago, as I sat at my desk early, early, early in the morning, looking at my brilliant new idea I want to launch, looking at all of my hopes and dreams for this and next year, looking at the mountain of work I have between now and Christmas, I felt, for a moment, exhausted. And a little uncertain.

I’d felt so guided to move in this direction. The work had flowed so smoothly. I was on fire in a way I haven’t been on fire for years. And yet…

And yet in the midst of all of this I’d ended up in hospital and then on bed rest – right when I was meant to be getting my magical new idea finished.

I’d nursed my friend in her dying weeks, and willingly put all work aside to do that.

My glorious projects, already on tight time lines, now seemed more than a little crazy.

So here I was, early in the morning, looking at my endless to-do list, still having occasional little heart pains, wondering if maybe this time, I’d been misguided.

I asked Rollo, one of my Guides, whether I was on the right path. I had a need for some kind of validation or direction. I would have been really grateful if he’d just said yes or no. Followed by telling me what to do.

Instead he said this. “You’ll get your answers today. In the same way you help others, others will help you. Trust the Universe.” (He’s big on this Trust the Universe stuff!)

i-am-open-to-the-guidance-of-synchronicity-and-do-not-let-expectations-hinder-my-path

So, I trusted. With a little flame of excitement in my belly, Ben and I took off to our favourite city cafe to have some breakfast. With Harry the Cafe Dog, of course.

I hadn’t been sitting at our regular table on the sidewalk very long, when a smiling gentleman at the table behind me said, “Excuse me, but are you spiritual?”

I smiled too. It was a strange thing to say, but I knew exactly what he meant. I hadn’t seen this man before, but he seemed like a local. We ended up having a lovely discussion while Ben was inside ordering our coffees. After which the conversation continued in sociable dribs and drabs.

After breakfast, while I was waiting for Ben to buy a box of chocolates for a neighbour, the smiling gentleman passed me a box of oracle cards.

“Go on,” he said. ” Have a look. They’re new. I think you’ll like them.”

‘Really?’ I was thinking, but also ‘how cool! This is the sort of stuff I’m always doing for other people…’

So, I took the cards from their box, (Colette Baron-Reid’s Wisdom of the Oracle) shuffled and gave myself a three card reading about my year ahead and these crazy projects, being completely open to whatever the Universe might tell me.

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“Read the messages in the little book,” the smiling man said. “They’re so accurate.”

So I did. Each message built on the one before, and all of the news was good. Believe in myself and my dreams and my community and keep going. This was it. All green lights. I snapped a quick photo with my phone so I would remember the cards and their messages.

I was about to put the cards back, when the man said, “Go on, do one more, one card just to top it off. Just to complete the magic.”

So I did, and got this.

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I read the little book. The message was perfect.

The man and I chatted a bit more, exchanged names and contact details, and then to my surprise the smiling man we now knew as Chris gifted my husband and I two free movie passes.

It was the most magical of mornings. Thank you, Chris!

To top it off, after a busy day of clients, I then needed to go see a friend about my magical idea. I was exhausted, but it was important that I go, so that this idea can be birthed in the world. It’s a timeline thing. A deadline thing. You know how it is. My friend is a graphic designer, and I met her at her home that evening.

I discussing something else my friend gave me a piece of advice that sorted out a problem I’d been struggling with for over a year. Just like that, all the pieces of my puzzle came together. Thanks, Bek!

Rollo was right. I trusted, and my answers came in the coolest and most delightful way possible.

So, how about you? Where do you need a little help or guidance? All you need to do is put it out there, and trust!

Fairy Oracle – Messages Of Guidance and Support!

Image from imgkid.com

Image from imgkid.com

“You must try to have a positive attitude. It does not matter how small a person is. One can still change the future. Size is only a state of mind. You know – it is how you use your wits that counts. Nothing can stop us, if we put our hearts into it. Anything is achievable girls, anything at all!”
~ Nathalie M. Leblanc, Shrinking Forward

 

It’s no secret that I love Fairy Folk, nor that I have a very special friendship with a fairy called Sokli. (You can read more about Sokli here.) Fairies are often forgotten, as we look to the Angels, Guides and Spirit for help in our lives. Fairies like to provide support in practical ways. They encourage us to be kind to ourselves, each other and the earth. Sokli wants you to know that Fairies have their own wisdom, and are always happy to help those who ask.

Today’s oracle is all about tuning in to Fairy Wisdom to help guide you in your life right now.

This Oracle is full of lovely things, like crystal and flower essence guidance, as well as some tips about how to find Fairies for yourself.

Instructions for using today’s post

Scroll down through the following fairy images and then let yourself come back to the one you are most drawn to.

When you have chosen your image scroll further down for your message; designed to help you feel loved, supported and guided.

Trust that you will be shown what you most need to know right now.

Love and Light,

Nicole and Sokli ♥ xoxo

Let The Fairies Guide You…

1.  Flower Fairy

2.  Bird Fairy

3.  Elven Seeker

Image by 1oshuart at deviantart.com

Image by 1oshuart at deviantart.com

4.  Mermaid

Image of Mermaid Hannah Fraser from imgfave.com

Image of Mermaid Hannah Fraser from imgfave.com

5.  Forest Fairy

Image from Samaru163

Image from Samaru163

6.  River Fairy

7.  Crystal Keeper Fairy

The Crystal Ring by Vladamir Pantic

The Crystal Ring by Vladamir Pantic

8.  Elf Maid

Image from worth1000.com

Image from worth1000.com

 

♥ The Healing Messages and Gifts of the Fairies♥

Each Fairy image has a message for you.We have also selected a crystal and Flower Essence to support you at this time.  You could wear or hold your crystal, pop it in your pocket, under your pillow or beside your bed. (If you’d like to know more about working with crystals click here) The Flower Essence can be taken to help give additional emotional, physical and spiritual support.

 

1.  Flower Fairy:

Message – Flower Fairies come to help plants flower and fruit. They are here to remind you of the importance of playtime, doing things for the fun of it or to satisfy a curiosity, and to grow yourself by pushing your boundaries a little. Now is not the time for perfection. Now is the time for exploration, adventure and trying something challenging or new.

To connect with Flower Fairies sit somewhere where a  tree or smaller plant is flowering. Sit quietly and appreciate the blossoms with your whole heart. Watch them moving in the wind, or falling to the ground. Pay attention to insect visitors. When you feel truly connected to the flowers ask the Fairies to visit you or show you a sign that they are there.

Crystal – Green Aventurine

Flower Essence : Australian Bush Flower Essence – Alpine Mint  Bach Flower Essence – Agrimony

 

2.  Bird Fairy:

Message – Bird Fairies act like Guides for birds, in the same way that we humans have Guardian Angels. They are here to help you overcome your fear of ‘flying’ so that you can boldly step forth and have success in using your talents and gifts. Bird Fairies guide you into new territory, and keep you company when only you can walk a certain path. They assist you to become confident and independent in using your new wings.

To connect with Bird Fairies, stand outside in the open air and call to them. Ask for one to come and guide you. Then pay attention to the birds that show up in your life. Know that your fairy will send you a sign to show they are with you.

Crystal – Citrine

Flower Essence : Australian Bush Flower Essence – Freshwater Mangrove  Bach Flower Essence – Walnut

 

3.  Elven Seeker:

Message – Elven Seekers are on a path of learning. They also provide guidance and counsel for other Fairy Folk. They have a knack for asking the right questions, and they are deep thinkers. Elven Seekers can help you to acquire real mastery and expertise in your chosen area by opening your mind and self-awareness. They have a strong sense of social justice and environmental stewardship too. Elven Seeker reminds you that you came here for a purpose, and that you have gifts in teaching and counselling others.

To find an Elven Seeker to support you on your path, go to a place where there are old trees. Trees spread their branches and roots through the world, anchoring themselves into earth knowledge. Elven Seekers use this energy to help their own learning and communication with others. Sit quietly, connect with your tree, and then ask for a Seeker. You’ll feel them approach you, or they will give you a sign of their presence.

Crystal – Fluorite

Flower Essence : Australian Bush Flower Essence – Alpine Mint  Bach Flower Essence – Oak

 

4.  Mermaid:

Message – Mermaids inhabit  the oceans and salt water places. They have an innate sense of freedom, but also one of safety. They spend most of their time in the water, but can also breathe air, and will happily come out of the water to sunbake and enjoy the world above the waves. Mermaids are here to show you that just like them, you have strong intuitive and psychic gifts. You live in the physical world, but can connect to the spiritual. They want you to remember your true nature.

To connect to Mermaids you can travel to the ocean and sit watching the waves. When you feel peace in your heart call them in to you. You can also listen to music featuring dolphins and whales, or ocean waves, and send a telepathic message, asking Mermaids to meet you in your dreams.

Crystal – Celestite

Flower Essence : Australian Bush Flower Essence – Angelsword  Bach Flower Essence – Cerato

 

5. Forest Fairy:

Message – Forest Fairies live in wooded and forested places. They are social beings, and have great love for all plants and animals. When Forest Fairies appear to you, they want you to look after your body and physical well-being. They remind you to eat well, to drink water, to rest and to move and to get plenty of fresh air and sunshine. Step away from the computer or television. Go outside. Take some time for you, your well-being, your relationships, your sanity. Go meet your friends. Play with your pets. Stand barefoot on the ground and breathe in good clean air.

To make friends with Forest Fairies take a picnic blanket and some food, and go sit in a park, or near a garden or wild space with big and small plants. Allow yourself to relax and have a good time, in your own company or with friends, family or pets. Make a little plate of food for the Fairies and leave it on a corner of your rug. Ask for the Fairies to come join you! You’ll see their playful signs, or feel a sense of happiness.

Crystal – Carnelian

Flower Essence : Australian Bush Flower Essence – Little Flannel Flower  Bach Flower Essence – Clemantis

 

6.  River Fairy:

Message – River Fairies live in the streams, rivers, ponds, pools and freshwater places. River fairies know that sludge and silt is stinky, but from it baby fish grow into bigger fish, water lilies put down their roots and grow, and during floods the silt washes up onto the land and rejuvenates the soil and plants. River Fairy wants you to know that difficult times and stinky places can sometimes help you grow bigger and stronger. Or get with the flow and start moving again. River Fairy understands cycles of life and regeneration. They also recognise when their environment is toxic and they help creatures move to a safer place. River Fairy reminds you to be brave, to dig deep, and to take something positive from every experience. Where are you in the cycle? Is it time to grow, or time to rest? Check your environment. Is it safe? It is healthful? Or do you need to move on?

River Fairies are caring souls, who enjoy quiet and solitude, although they have good friends too. To find a River Fairy, sit quietly by a river or body of fresh water. Be very still. Watch for sparkles of light, and ripples on the water where there is no wind.

Crystal – Septarian Nodule

Flower Essence : Australian Bush Flower Essence – Old Man Banksia  Bach Flower Essence – Sweet Chestnut

 

7.  Crystal Keeper Fairy:

Message – Crystal Keeper Fairies look after stones and crystals, and often live inside them too. They can see what is beautiful within you, and help shine that essence out into the world. These fairies are very good at keeping secrets, but they also know how to share information. Crystal Keeper Fairy wants you to value yourself, to love yourself, and to have courage in following your dreams.

To find a Crystal Keeper Fairy look for a stone with a rainbow or sparkles in it! Another easy way to find one is to sit somewhere in nature where there are plenty of boulders and stones. Ask for a fairy to come and help you love and appreciate yourself more. Before you leave look for a stone that wants to be picked up and taken home. It will help itself be known to you. Trust!

Crystal – Clear Quartz

Flower Essence : Australian Bush Flower Essence – Five Corners Bach Flower Essence – Crab Apple

 

8: Elf Maid:

Message – Elf Maidens love to help creatures be birthed into the world. They also tend the sick, injured and old. You will find them anywhere where new life springs or where life needs extra support or transition. They are watching over the animals and birds, the insects and the hatchlings. Elf Maiden wants you to know that now is a good time for you to prepare and bring new life force into being. This could be around your own fertility, or about an idea being born and turning from a thought into a concrete reality. If you are unwell or lonely, know that Elf Maiden is here to keep you company and help you heal. Elf Maiden is nurturing and encouraging, supportive and wise.

Elf Maidens are solitary creatures, who have a highly attuned intuitive energy. If you are in need of their help, sit quietly in nature, or by a window, and let your heart call them in. Keep a crystal by your bed or desk, and a fresh flower or small leafy twig in a vase of water (or a healthy potplant)  to help them feel comfortable indoors.

Crystal – Moonstone

Flower Essence : Australian Bush Flower Essence – Sunshine Wattle Bach Flower Essence – Olive

It’s Finished – Our Mala of Love

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“Be not forgetful of prayer. Every time you pray, if your prayer is sincere, there will be new feeling and new meaning in it, which will give you fresh courage, and you will understand that prayer is an education.”
~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

“It does not matter how long you are spending on the earth, how much money you have gathered or how much attention you have received. It is the amount of positive vibration you have radiated in life that matters.”
~ Amit Ray

 

Well, my lovelies, it is meditation time and I am about to begin prayers and affirmations on my new mala. Many of you are represented personally here in the beads that will move between my fingers this morning. All of you are represented on the last bead, which you’ll see above is the teardrop-shaped clear quartz before the crackle quartz Keeper Stone. There are crystal beads chosen for their energies, and wood, glass and ceramic beads chosen for their colour or symbolism. Every bead has been chosen with love and careful intent.

I’ll be praying this mala twice a day for the next thirty days. Already I have prayed and blessed each bead as I named it and strung it. Already I can say, yes, this pearl is Liz, this banded agate is PJ, this celestite is Jacob, this owl is Joanne.

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My intention for the next thirty days is to use my meditation and prayers to aid in our emotional healing, and that will be my theme in my twice-daily meditations. This is a mala for forgiveness and self-love, for ending guilt, regret, fear and shame and embracing love and flow and abundance.

Each day I’ll hold every bead, one at a time, between my fingers and pray my mantras and then a specific prayer for each bead – each person. I’ll wear this mala every day, all day, so that I carry you with me.

Today, know that I am holding you in my thoughts and prayers. That I am carrying you in my arms. That you are very much loved.

Nicole xx

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Mala Update

Image from tumblr

Image from tumblr

“The inner voice is something which cannot be described in words. But sometimes we have a positive feeling that something in us prompts us to do a certain thing. The time when I learnt to recognise this voice was, I may say, the time when I started praying regularly.”
~ Mahatma Gandhi

 

I’ve been moved to tears by the many messages you’ve sent me about inclusion on my Mala of Love.

Truly, I was not expecting such an outpouring. So many of you asking not for yourselves but for those you love to be included on a bead. So many of you brave enough to finally put your hand up and say, yes, I’d like some support.

I have many more requests than I do beads.

So, what I propose to do is this:

I shall contact all of you. Be patient. That might take some time. I’ve had over five hundred messages. 106 of you shall be included on my first mala, and then one bead for my friend Liz and one bead to represent ALL OF YOU.

Thank you to everyone who asked that I include a bead for myself. I promise I will.

I will use the Keeper Bead for myself. The Keeper Bead is the bead at the beginning and end of the prayer or mantra cycle where your thumb and finger come to rest. It is both bead 0 and bead 109.

When I have finished this present mala cycle of one month, I shall make ANOTHER mala. I will allocate 107 places keeping bead 108 to represent all of you, until everyone who has contacted me has had the chance to be included in a month of  my prayers and meditations.

Once again, please be patient. It will take a good few months to pray for all of you individually.

But I shall. That’s my sacred promise to you.

Big love and hugs, Nicole xx

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Magical Book Oracle – A Reading Just For You!

Image by RazielMB

Image by RazielMB

“We’re here for a reason. I believe a bit of the reason is to throw little torches out to lead people through the dark.”
~ Whoopi Goldberg

 

I love the idea of a magical book. Don’t you?

I’ve often turned to books when I’ve needed guidance or answers. So today I’ve used some beautiful images of books and accompanied each image with a channelled message to gift you clarity and reassurance about where you’re at right now.

Each magical book also comes with suggestions for crystals and activities to support you energetically, emotionally and physically.

Instructions for using today’s post

Let each image speak to you in its own way.  One of them will have wisdom just for you!

Scroll down through the following magical book images and then let yourself come back to the one you are most drawn to.

When you have chosen your book, scroll further down for your message. Take what resonates for you, and apply it in your life over the coming weeks.

Trust that you will be shown what you most need to know right now.

Love and Light,

Nicole ♥ xx

Let the Magical Books Guide You…

1. Ancient Manuscript

Image from Internet Monk

Image from Internet Monk

2. Magical Daisy Book

Image from Wallpapers in HQ

Image from Wallpapers in HQ

3. White Light Book

Image from Light Bliss

Image from Light Bliss

4. Magical Lands Book

5. Cosmic Rainbow Book

Image from Oriental Magic

Image from Oriental Magic

6. Book of Shadows

Image from The Charmed Ones

Image from The Charmed Ones

7. Mythical Journey Book

Image by Justin Rowe

Image by Justin Rowe

8. Fairy’s Book

Image from Key Note Blog

Image from Key Note Blog

 

♥ The Message and Gift of each Magical Book ♥

Each Magical Book image has a message for you. I have also selected a crystal to best support the message and energies of your chosen Book.  You could wear or hold this crystal, pop it in your pocket, under your pillow or beside your bed. (If you’d like to know more about working with crystals click here.) The Action Step is a tangible step you can take to begin incorporating this wisdom in your life.

1.  Ancient Manuscript:

Message – Trust your own judgement. It’s time for major change, even if that change begins in the smallest of ways. You’re being supported to create an energy of transformation that will take you far from where you are now. There is a great force of synchronicity at your disposal. All you need to do is allow, and be brave enough to act. Begin things. End things. Be active in creating this new life. You deserve to be happy and fulfilled.

Crystal – Tiger Iron 

Action Step – Spend some time thinking about how you want your life to look. record your thoughts in a journal. When you are ready, begin to put a plan together. Where might you start? Who or what could support you? Start to give your dreams some form. Trust in good outcomes, even if the beginning of this transformation will be modest.

 

2.  Magical Daisy Book:

Message – Love and Friendship is coming your way. What a kind, loving and beautiful soul you are. Right now there is a wonderful opportunity for you to bring magic to some existing relationships, allowing them to be revitalised. There is also the opportunity to meet new people who will become significant in your life. As you love, so will that love be returned, deepening the relationship and giving you new levels of emotional connection and satisfaction.

Crystal – Rose Quartz

 Action Step – Each day find things for which you can be grateful. Live in a way that pours love and gratitude from your heart. Seek out the people, places and things that make you happy. Avoid the people, places and situations that bring you down. Write a list of your dream friend or partner. Put the completed list in a pink envelope, and then place the envelope somewhere safe. Send your list a little love and energy each day to magnetise love into your life.

 

3.  White Light Book:

Message – Be purposeful in bringing your gifts to the world. You know it. The Universe is calling you, reminding you that it’s time. Time to write that book, start that business, invest that money, study that thing which furthers you somehow. Trust that you have something valuable to share with the world. Believe in yourself now, and invest in yourself and your dreams.

Crystal – Clear Quartz 

 Action Step – Sit with yourself and be brave in asking what it is you really want to do with your life. Create some big goals, and then break those goals down into small steps. Choose a place and begin. Each week, put energy into your plan and your dreams. Know that you can make this happen. Know that it is time.

 

4.  Magical Lands Book:

Message – Nature has great restorative gifts for you right now. Maybe you need to change your diet to include a wider range and quantity of fruits and vegetables. Perhaps what is needed is more time in the outdoors, or a hobby or sport that allows you to move more and to feel the sun on the face and the wind in your hair. A holiday in the mountains or by the sea? Perfect!

Crystal – Green Aventurine

 Action Step – Embrace your well-being. Look to the ideas and ancient healing methodologies of other lands. Try yoga, meditation, acupuncture, herbal medicine or tai chi. Be adventurous in looking further afield for what can heal, restore and uplift you. Maybe a health retreat in Byron Bay, Bali or Thailand. Perhaps a practitioner or a workshop that promotes these ancient methods for restoring balance and creating sustainable well-being.

 

5. Cosmic Rainbow Book:

Message – Honey, you need some fun! What’s most needed in your life right now are activities that bring joy. That could be hanging out with friends, listening to music, travel, playing games, starting a hobby or joining a group. Do what makes your heart sing. If you don’t know what that is, then gift yourself time to find out.

Crystal – Fluorite

 Action Step – Clear some space in your diary. Maybe there’s something you used to enjoy, which you don’t do any more. Make time for it again! Search out movies, music, festivals, galleries and places you’ve always wanted to visit. Do something you haven’t done before. Make more time for family and friends. Schedule some time just for you!

 

6.  Book of Shadows:

Message – Spirituality and time for connecting to your Inner Wisdom needs to be a priority right now. Expect magic. Expect clarity, breakthroughs, inspiration and guidance from unexpected but helpful quarters. You have a powerful intuitive side, and it’s time to learn how to connect with this wisdom and guiding force within you.

Crystal – Amethyst

 Action Step – Make time for self-reflection, journalling, meditation and prayer. Be open to guidance from outside of yourself as well. Make use of tools such as crystals, tarot and other messenger cards, runes and other divination items if that feels right. Ask once, and be guided by the answer, whatever that may be. Stay open to possibility and to acting on insights. Think deeply about the big questions. Expect answers.

 

7.  Mythical Journey Book:

Message – Courage. It’s time to go back to, and heal your past. There are issues and situations from your past, that, in remaining hidden, unspoken or unresolved, are preventing you from healing, from knowing expansion, from allowing you to transcend these falsely imposed limits. Sometimes it is  possible to simply get into an allowing space, and ‘let go’ of that old energy without having to examine or re-live it. Sometimes we benefit from guidance and professional help and advice. Always, we benefit from thinking on the blessings and the lessons inherent in those situations which have caused us pain.

Crystal – Citrine

 Action Step – Think about the events, relationships and actions that you have buried, or that continue to bring you discomfort of shame. You are being supported to work through and let go of these old energies right now. Truth must be brought into the light. These old hurts must be let go, or like anchors around your heart and soul, you will continue to be held back by them. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Look to counsellors, healers and all other forms of support workers who can aid you in your situation.

 

8: Fairy’s Book:

Message – There is a special magic around you right now, bringing breakthroughs, help and miracles. The Fairy Book connects you to Loved Ones who have crossed over, Ancestors you have never met, members of your Soul Group, Fairies, Guides, Angels and all kinds of other Light Beings. Know that you’re not alone. Know that you are heard, and that help is coming.

Crystal – Moss Agate or Opalite

 Action Step – Ask! Reach out with your heart, your prayers, your meditations. Form that question in your mind. Have a conversation with someone who has crossed over, or with your guides and angels. Sit under a tree or in the garden and call on the fairies and nature spirits. Call on God. Don’t be afraid. Trust that injustice, obstacles, difficulties and dilemmas that have caused you great anxiety and worry will soon begin to dissolve or resolve. Know that you are loved. Expect magic and miracles. Trust in Divine Timing.

The Voice

“Sometimes beautiful things come into our lives out of nowhere. We can’t always understand them, but we have to trust in them. I know you want to question everything, but sometimes it pays to just have a little faith.” 
~ Lauren Kate, Torment

Yesterday afternoon I lay down for a nap and fell into the deepest, dreamless slumber.

A deep male voice woke me up. It was authoritative. And loving. It said this:

“Remember this. This is the sickest you will ever be. This is lowest you will ever be. Look at yourself. Remember this. Tonight you shall turn the corner.”

I felt so calmed by that voice.

Staggering out of bed I went to the bathroom and peered into the mirror. Here I was. Sick, fat, dumb-headed, exhausted, miserable.

The words kept echoing in my head, tonight you will turn the corner.

Still half asleep I slipped on some shoes and wandered down the paddocks to the cattleyards where Ben was feeding the weaners. Sitting beside him on a hay bale I told him about the voice.

“Better take some pictures,” Ben said. So he pulled out his phone and snapped a few. “This time in a year we’ll be able to think back from some holiday somewhere and look at how far you’ve come.”

This morning I woke up and so much was still the same. I’m exhausted, sick, sore. I still have my little window of ‘me time’ before I take the first drugs of the day and descend back into hell.

But something inside me has shifted. The only way I can describe it is as a spark. There is a spark of golden light inside my chest, comforting and restoring me.

I can’t explain why, but I trust that voice. I feel that spark.

So.

Onwards…