Beyond the edge of the world there’s a space where emptiness and substance neatly overlap, where past and future form a continuous, endless loop. And, hovering about, there are signs no one has ever read, chords no one has ever heard.Haruki Murakami
I saw my bossy but kind cardiologist on Tuesday, and again yesterday, and he finally cleared me for a gradual return to work.
He made me promise to go slow.
More than that, he talked of my need to give my heart the time it needs to recover to the best of its ability.
It was quite the serious conversation.
I’m still feeling very tired (the kind of tired that needs an afternoon nap!) and I’m in bed by 7.30pm most nights, but I can see improvement, so that’s all that matters.
Still, even with all of that improvement, something strange is happening.
Right now, I feel like I am standing at the edge of the known world.
Behind me is the way I have always done things, including all of the plans I had for a world that no longer exists, and a me that is no longer me…
I’m standing at the edge, gazing into the future, and I don’t yet know what’s in front of me.
I can feel something calling my name, some kind of project, but I don’t know what shape that will take, or how it will look. All I know is that somehow it is forming up, and eventually I will know what it is.
Meanwhile, I’m going to keep standing here at the edge, acclimatising to the wind and the sun and the wide open space of the great unknown.
I will leap.
Because, why do what has always been done?
Why live what has always been lived?
I can feel big changes coming.
I am ready.
And I promise to keep you posted about whatever happens next.
Do you feel a little like this too? Like this year is throwing forward challenges and opportunities you had never expected?
It’s okay. We always knew that 2022 was a year for creativity and passion projects, for relationships and for starting out in new directions, or reconnecting with long-forgotten dreams.
I’d love to hear what’s happening for you, so let me know in the comments, or over on Facebook.
Lots of love, and a really big hug, because I’ve missed you, and then coffee and some writing time for me,