Beyond the edge of the world there’s a space where emptiness and substance neatly overlap, where past and future form a continuous, endless loop. And, hovering about, there are signs no one has ever read, chords no one has ever heard.
Haruki Murakami
Hey, Lovelies!
I saw my bossy but kind cardiologist on Tuesday, and again yesterday, and he finally cleared me for a gradual return to work.
He made me promise to go slow.
More than that, he talked of my need to give my heart the time it needs to recover to the best of its ability.
It was quite the serious conversation.
I’m still feeling very tired (the kind of tired that needs an afternoon nap!) and I’m in bed by 7.30pm most nights, but I can see improvement, so that’s all that matters.
Still, even with all of that improvement, something strange is happening.
Right now, I feel like I am standing at the edge of the known world.
Behind me is the way I have always done things, including all of the plans I had for a world that no longer exists, and a me that is no longer me…
I’m standing at the edge, gazing into the future, and I don’t yet know what’s in front of me.
I can feel something calling my name, some kind of project, but I don’t know what shape that will take, or how it will look. All I know is that somehow it is forming up, and eventually I will know what it is.
Meanwhile, I’m going to keep standing here at the edge, acclimatising to the wind and the sun and the wide open space of the great unknown.
Then?
I will leap.
Because, why do what has always been done?
Why live what has always been lived?
I can feel big changes coming.
That’s okay.
I am ready.
And I promise to keep you posted about whatever happens next.
Do you feel a little like this too? Like this year is throwing forward challenges and opportunities you had never expected?
It’s okay. We always knew that 2022 was a year for creativity and passion projects, for relationships and for starting out in new directions, or reconnecting with long-forgotten dreams.
I’d love to hear what’s happening for you, so let me know in the comments, or over on Facebook.
Lots of love, and a really big hug, because I’ve missed you, and then coffee and some writing time for me,
Nicole xx
I to feel as if I am nearing the end of my chrysalis phase. Full of excitement and wonder as to just how things will unfold 🌱🐛🦋
It’s so lovely to have you back online. Sending lots and lots of love from the mt warning caldera to the glass house mountain caldera
💖💖
Dear Nicole as in the old way of beginning a note but also in the way of saying you are dear to us. So very glad that you are able to be back writing…that your strict but kind cardiologist is a help, that you are feeling an improvement…
Im feeling such sadness for the people of Ukraine…the older people, the children..their relatives who have moved away and now live and work all over the world..it’s so unfair and shouldn’t happen in this day and age ..it’s more than unfair it’s criminal and a terrible aggression against innocent people.
As for me I’m wondering how to concoct a cunning plan to keep planting tiny trees that the well fed wild deer on my husband’s land don’t gobble ..they are really well fed, plump, beautiful and wild…but as I plant bits here and there they gobble them…it’s no wonder they are fat glossy healthy whilst also the bane of my life….sending all the love Nicole..xxx
I’m so glad to hear you’re on the mend.
I have started playing the violin again after about about 30 years. It’s so soothing for my peri menopausal soul😂
So glad you are on the mend, you are certainly missed! Change and growth is definitely in the air….just a feeling of waiting with me too…. stay well:) x
Sooo relieved to hear your slowly recovering … YAY! I’ve missed you more … and Ben too XOXO
I am so happy for your slow return to work. You have expressed so well what I have been feeling and couldn’t put into words. I feel like I’m in the center of something swirling around me that I can’t quite make out. But it’s exciting and mysterious and not quite formed. I am taking a class in digital imaging (learning Photoshop) as part of a course in web design. I also signed up for an aquatic exercise program because it’s time to take care of my body as well. And lastly, I’m in the midst of planning a month long trip to Italy in November with my closest friend to celebrate her 60th birthday.
I feel like 2022 for me so far, is the year of saying ‘Yes!’ Yes to being more spontaneous, yes to a last minute girls weekend away, yes to buying a truck so we can start RV ing, yes to more social events now that I’m fully vaccinated. And yes to being open to what’s coming instead of being super organized and in control. Yes, this year so far has been interesting for me.
yes yes yes to all you have written – I feel it too – similar but different. Thanks for your words and wisdom. I appreciate them a lot 🙂
Sitting here in the UK looking with increasing concern at mainland europe. It is an uncomfortable time. My heart goes out to everyone. I feel something, have felt it for a while. Glad your Doc approved your returning to an albeit slower paced work. I am thoroughly enjoying the Journeymakers Challenge, and very sad that it’s coming to an end, but I have habits and intentions set and can forge ahead myself. Brightest Blessings Nicole
I’m glad your feeling better. I’ve dusted off a long forgotten dream. And I’ve enrolled in a uni prep course. I’m hoping to actually go to university and study Archaeology. I’ll be 60 when I start, but I’m so excited.
It is good when you start to feel better
I am so happy you are felling better each day. It is hard to not want to rush ahead. My big news is I have a book contract so I am birthing a book I wrote with a friend in 2018. No date yet for publication, but I am overwhelmed in a good way. This has been an extraordinary year so far!!