It’s funny: I always imagined when I was a kid that adults had some kind of inner toolbox full of shiny tools: the saw of discernment, the hammer of wisdom, the sandpaper of patience. But then when I grew up I found that life handed you these rusty bent old tools – friendships, prayer, conscience, honesty – and said ‘do the best you can with these, they will have to do’. And mostly, against all odds, they do.
I have lots going on in my life right now, and not much I can actually control. I’m using my trusty toolbox of coping skills; meditation, visualisation, journalling, rest, essential oils, breathwork, good nutrition, time in nature, hugs and chats with friends and family, but still… my stress levels are higher than I would prefer.
Amid all of this crazy I had the most comforting dream, the night before last. In my dream a friend had got me a job at an enormous library. My only task was to roll trolleys of books along the aisles and re-shelve them. It was a meditative and calming process, and there was absolutely no rush to get anything done. The library was cool and quiet, and for an added bonus the breakroom was made of delicious decorated gingerbread that you could break off and eat, and which afterwards regrew somehow. Magically, I guess.
I woke from that dream calm and replenished in ways unexpected. Finally, I was in control of something, and I could restore order in satisfying ways.
Last night I took myself back into that library in my meditation, and I shelved more books. I tidied and took my time reading the back blurbs of books that looked interesting. I sat in comfortable chairs, nibbled on restorative gingerbread, and sipped chai in my breaks.
It’s not a meditation I ever thought I would do, but gee, it helped!
‘Whatever works’ is a philosophy I have increasing embraced. This is one of those things.
Love, the smell of old books, magical snacks, and peace in my heart, Nicole xx