“There’s a sorrow and pain in everyone’s life, but every now and then there’s a ray of light that melts the loneliness in your heart and brings comfort like hot soup and a soft bed.”
~ Hubert Selby Jr., Requiem for a Dream
Right now I’m pushing through an aggressive round of drugs and herbs to treat my Lyme disease and various co-infections. Oh goodness yesterday was tough. In fact my misery had started late in the afternoon of the previous day, from which time everything deteriorated.
At first I meditated. Then I tried to distract myself with a thoughtful gift from a friend who had packed me a little bag full of prompts, sounds and smells to take me on a journey through France, all from the comfort of my bed.
Eventually though, my physical pain and discomfort became too much for those kinds of imagination games. My very bones ached, my head throbbed as if it might explode, my skin burned, it felt like a million monsters were scratching and biting at me. Nothing I did seemed to reduce my suffering. How was I going to cope with weeks more of this same horror?
I needed some help.
Reaching over the side of my bed I groped around in my ‘Lucky Dips’ bag, and pulled out the first one my fingers found.
Here’s the little Love Letter I chose for myself. Perhaps it will have a message for you too…
My Lucky Dip Bag #1. All of the items inside were chosen randomly and placed in bags ready for when I might need them. Because of the way I put these packages together I have no idea what the contents will be.
Lucky Dip #1 contents:
An Oracle Card from Doreen Virtue’s Goddess Guidance Deck:
A random note of encouragement from me:
A Kimberley Amethyst I picked up many years ago in the company of my Aboriginal Aunties:
I hugged that rock to me all day and used it as a focus point while I meditated.
‘It will all be worth it’, I reminded myself.
‘My prayers have been heard and are being answered.’
I slept with the crystal under my pillow. I slept! This morning I woke up feeling a little better. Less pain. More optimism. 5 weeks, 3 days to go…
Whatever challenges you’re facing right now, I’m encouraging you to keep going. It will be worth it! You’re in my thoughts, prayers and meditations.
Much love to you, Nicole xx
I know it must be work for you at times to keep up this blog when you are in the midst of this personal amazingly difficult struggle towards health……but i got to thinking just now that this blog is a big part of your healing…..the willingness to share the struggle, the amazing amount of love and support you receive from all around the world and knowing that we are all out here caring and sending love to you even though some of us have never even met you in the flesh. having a sense of responsibility towards your fans…..so to speak! i am always amazed that you manage to write one word…..much less a beautiful blog with pictures. your devoted fan, pamela
Just want you to know that my morning also begins with Caldrons and cupcakes. It is just the right way to start the day… with you Nicole. Thanks for sharing yourself with all of us …you WILL conquer these nasty bugs
Thank you for sharing your journey and encouragement for others even when you are feeling so badly!
Tho my illness is not Lyme, and my experience is not precisely the same; I live in a bed and feel a lot of the same things you mention.
Just knowing someone as creative, interesting and amazing as you seem to me after reading your blog for a while is in the same boat makes my little skiff seem more seaworthy; -)
Your beautiful attitude is inspiring and contagious in a good way!
I keep you in my prayers and on my distance reiki list. I hope your rough patch goes by quickly and as gently as possible.
Nicole I’m going through some health issues at the moment and just wanted to thank you for your timely post. I prayed this morning for help and guidance from above and your words of inspiration have brought great comfort. I also pulled a card from my Doreen Virtue Angel therapy deck – Archangel Raphael who specializes in healing for further encouragement! Blessings and prayers to you xxx
Wow! Inspirational post. Thanks for being honest. I was introduced to your blog this morning and glad I popped by. I love the idea of the little goodies bags prepared by self for self…. awesome stuff.
Nicole, you are truly a wellness warrior, i can’t even begin to imagine what you are experiencing. You inspire me to always keeping going even when i feel down. I love your tenacity and how you are helping so many others Such an inspiration
love, hugs and blessings
Suzie xxoo
HI Nicole,
I want you to know that this blog has been my default page since my friend recommended I check it out. I read it every morning. It’s the first thing I do when I get on my computer. I absolutely love it. Though I dare not claim to “understand what you’re going through” I do empathize. One of my closest friends is currently battling Lyme’s Disease. It’s so much more than a dis-ease and I cannot begin to imagine what it might be like to live with it. Your blogs offer a glimpse of your journey and I am profoundly taken aback by your ability to; stay positive, get on with the task of healing and share your gift of insight. I want to thank you for sharing your experience. I want you to know that your gift keeps on giving long after it’s unwrapped. I want you to know that your words carry weight and change the colour of my dark days. I am really thankful for your strength as it becomes mine. I’m grateful to you for sharing your pain as it reminds me we’re all human. I am counting down with you Nicole and on your dark days, if you question why you bother I hope you read back on this message and remember.
Big hugs
Ida
Wishing you good things!