Just this moment…

2012-10-18 18.12.35

“I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.” ~ Groucho Marx

It started with a twinge. Just a twinge. So insignificant I might have missed it, if not for the telltale flutter, like a moth caught under my ribcage.

I stopped in the middle of the empty moon-bleached sand and put my hand to my chest.  Hello heart, I said, is there a problem? But like a shell held against my ear, all I heard in response was the gentle sigh and chuff of the ocean.

It changed the end of my holiday, and my days since. Back and forth to doctors, hospitals, specialists.  Endless opinions and possible courses of action – none of them especially palatable.

I’m good with it, whatever happens. I have become a master of managing overwhelm. In fact yesterday I was able to look at a bright-eyed doctor, flushed with the excitement of my case, and whom had just enthusiastically declared me (not me as a person, me as a collective assortment of organs and symptoms) fascinating, and NOT slap his face or take offence. Instead I felt like an old, wise Nana, smiling indulgently at a child who’s been given a challenging puzzle and who is boasting about how easy it will be.

My heart’s misbehaving. But it’s still beating, and I’m still here. (Did you hear that Universe? I’m making a declarative statement!)

No-one knows what the future looks like. All each of us can do is live in this precious moment.

Someone asked me recently what to do about the feeling of time speeding up and life slipping by. While I don’t recommend a life-threatening illness, I do know that living with your attention on what’s happening RIGHT NOW gives time a lustre and a depth that cannot be had while your mind is back in the past, or racing into the future.

Life is beautiful. Life is precious. And all we ever truly have is this moment. Don’t waste it – breathe in, satiate your body with the sights, sounds and smells of the essence of your current reality. Live it, before it slips too quickly through your fingertips. Life lived this way can never be ordinary. YOU will never just be ordinary.

Trust me on this one – the magic is in the Moment – starting right NOW…

thai-lotus-flower

54 thoughts on “Just this moment…

  1. Ironically probably just what I needed to read in my questioning of why I’m here.
    Fighting for a real reason that I should continue in my life.
    And I guess it is really just that simple, in all the darkness and wrong feeling of my existence.
    Thanks.

    • Sending much Love to you. YOU are enough – truly – and life can be the grandest of adventures if we are brave enough to be curious… You are here in this moment, and I am glad of that. I’ll include you in my daily healing meditations. Bless xx

  2. Thank you for showing us that the now is so precious, you are an inspiration to me & I send strength, good health, calmness, love & positive thoughts your way x

  3. Nicole I send you my love, healing and blessings. Your life circumstances reminds me so much of my own. Sometimes I want it all to stop so I can breathe, one thing after another, challenge after challenge…… But this is life ain’t it…… Love this post and it’s truth sings to my soul
    . arohanui tammy xx

  4. Thank you Nicole. . .for your beautiful self. ‘I’ve become a Master at managing overwhelm’ thank you for that, I will take that with me. Unique Bodies, I believe, are special gifts. . .they allow a depth of understanding and wisdom that is incredibly precious. The reality is moment by moment. . .and that our time here on this magnificent Earth is limited. . .at some pont we all will leave this special place. . .for another special space. . .we are Loved beyond comprehension. . . Cared for by the greatest Love of all. We are Blessed beyond, beyond, beyond understanding. Yes, this moment is all we have. And we are so incredibly fortunate to have been given the most precious gift of Life. . .and whilst we have Breath. . .previous, precious Breath. . .we can say Thank You. How incredibly Blessed are we. . . .lots and lots of Love to you dearest Nicole. . .marilynxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  5. Sending much love and healing energy your way. ….. P.S.Here is a quote for you (by Mary Anne Radmacher): “live with intention. walk to the edge. listen hard. practice wellness. play with abandon. laugh. choose with no regret. continue to learn. appreciate your friends. do what you love. live as if this is all there is.” …. Nicole, I know that you can easily place a checkmark next to each of these. Therefore, you are already living your best, authentic life. Savour each and every moment, with the certainty that you have loved and are loved. We can’t ask for anything more! Love & blessings, Heather xo

  6. Well, if you are “interesting,” at least the doctor is engaged. I hate it when they don’t even pretend to care. As for your health, I have faith in your ability to manage your doctors (not the other way around) and your health. Sending love anyway.

  7. Nicole you have a big heart that touches eveyone who has been introduced to you in one way or another.
    I wonder what Bert your lovely dog would have to say about how much you give constantly to the ones you love and the people whom you have never met.
    I bless you for your amazing ability to pull through when things get tough. I am enjoying a morning coffee thinking and sending lots of love and healing energy to you from Birsbane QLD.

    Learner Blogger Vicki C.

  8. Dear Nicole,
    Know you are a tough cookie and will make it through but was saddened to hear about this monkey wrench in your vacation. Know that there are strangers out there holding you in the light and hoping the best for you! Hang in there and just take it one day at a time-love and light!xoxo -monica

  9. Aww Nicole I hope you feel better. My doctor told me the same only she said we should be writing a book on you and He said he would love to do my autopsy.. Hmm I was like wtf.. Laughed at him though said as long as you find out was was wrong and told her well if it can help others go ahead. Love to you special lady.. <3 mwah xx

  10. Nicole, you have been on my mind. you popped up while I was walking on the beach this morning. and before I opened this email I was thinking I must get in touch. I will do a meditation for you today and sending you healing love and light.
    I know how you are feeling re Drs- I was told a couple of weeks ago by my GP that I was a model patient and they should hire me- 6 months ago she poo pooed all my alternative ways.
    I really value you that you have shared here, thank you
    Namaste
    Suziexxoo

  11. Nicole, you have shared so much for your heart wisdom with all of us, no wonder your heart is all a-flutter. Now it’s time to save your magnificent healing energies for Nicole. Godspeed.

  12. Hugs, may hugs and Blessings!!!!. You are so alive, so human, so ….Bliss. Thanks for the aliveness and gratitude. thanks for being so close and thanks for all the remainders and teachings. Thanks for sharing your Heart to us. I send you a Heart to Heart Hug. Love, macla

  13. Special Blessings to you Nicole and many thanks for your thoughts of the moment which will help a special friend in a similar situation to yours. Love, Joan.

  14. I had a feeling something was amiss and your post – so beautifully written – made me realise how much I have come to depend on/luxuriate in your words and wisdom – you. My prayers with you Nicole. Juliexx

  15. I will softly say that I have been experiencing some heart whisperings, too, discomfort and pain trying to get my attention to tell me something. I’ve been through the Western medicine turbine, but my acupuncturist and Chinese medicine are what have provided some answers and some insight into what my heart wants. Maybe that will help….

  16. Dear Nicole, I wondered, so lots of love and good wholesome thoughts to you thankyou for your commitment to everything you do bless you Robin.

  17. What a beautiful post Nicole… This is exactly the way I live my life and try to persuade others to do as well. Your words are beautifully written and from the heart. I truly have enjoyed your blog since the first week I began mine almost a year ago. Thank you!

  18. As I read your post (and I must say timely as ever…how do yo do that) a 101 funny responses entered my head which your heart could have answered to your question? Which sort of had me laughing. Not to the seriousness of your condition or to be insensitive. Then the words popped in “lighten up”. Again a message for me not you. These lessons as I like to refer to them now rather than burdens or crosses sometimes seem so heavy. Your heart despite its “temper” is so strong because it beats to the tune of love and creates love. It’s own special kind of medicine. The stuff no doctor will find in a textbook. I visualized your heart and sent it lots of love and laughter and say thank you for allowing me to do that, to love and laugh more. You’re very special Nicole and lots love to you. Boom boom can’t you just hear it ticking away. That’s why we end a jokes punch line that way, it’s our heart laughing boom boom. (I hope this all came out right)

  19. As always such wisdom I love reading your posts. I do hope you are on the road to recovery soon ironically I believe you are a great teacher. Would love to be a fly on the wall when the doctors discuss you. Hope you are back to you beautiful self soon xx

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