I should be grumpy this morning…

Image from lalal

Image from The Bump

“The art of being happy lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things.”Henry Ward Beecher

I should be grumpy this morning.

Really, really grumpy.

I have now completed my third drug-free week from my lyme treatment, letting my liver have a break. At first I was so grateful to not have to put fistfuls of pills into myself. The drugs themselves are a nightmare, and I was celebrating not taking them. My body sighed with relief and my toxicity levels dropped. For a moment I felt marginally better.

But then some of the old symptoms I haven’t experienced for months flared up. Bartonella pains, babesia night sweats, lyme brain, chest pain. No fun at all. And it has become steadily worse. Worse enough that I’m looking forward to starting those horrible drugs again next week.

Each night now I endure pain, and insomnia. Last night was especially uncomfortable, and I didn’t get much sleep at all.

I should be so grumpy.

But last night I lay awake and listened to the sound of rain on our city roof. I peered into the bright screen of my iPad, loaded the weather radar and watched great clouds of rain dumping their load over the farm, imagining how the parched land would be sighing in relief.

I lay in the dark, hours later, and listened to the soft regular breathing of my husband, newly home from hospital. I reached my fingers out to him in the darkness and settled my hand on his chest.

Finally, after endless hours of misery I fell into a restless sleep.

I was dragged up from a disturbing dream by a persistent tugging on my arm.

Cafe Dog (known to some as Harry!) had my arm in his mouth and was trying to pull me out of bed. He let go, nudged my face and licked me. Then he bounded to the door.

Everyone was already up. It’s a glorious day. The air is fresh and clean from all the rain. The sunshine is dazzling. All my loved ones are happy.

So, I should be grumpy, but I’m not. Life is blessing me right now, and I’m not going to miss a moment. I can nap later, but right now morning calls, and Cafe Dog is keen for us to go to our favourite Brisbane haunt for an early breakfast, some writing and a little socialising.

No matter what is going on right now that is outside of my control, I can choose how I feel in each moment.

I choose love.

I choose happiness.

I choose gratitude.

How about you?

2014-08-05 08.26.42

 

20 thoughts on “I should be grumpy this morning…

  1. This is awesome, this is the choice I struggle to make every day! It often doesn’t happen. Thanks for sharing. I hope you had a great day!

  2. You are just such a beautiful person Nicole!! Thank you for sharing and so happy for you that Ben was discharged from hospital!
    By the way, saw my first ever aura today. Suddenly it was there around the speaker at a course. I was so excited!!! It just happened out of nowhere. What a treat 😊

  3. Harry certainly looks like all is in order and he has well accomplished his mission for the moment to have you all herded to where you should be. grumpy would not be on his agenda but lots of loving licks. Have a gentle day Nicole. LOL and light!!

  4. Nicole you are an amazing women and I have learned so much from your blog. Have you tried Lavender oil to help you sleep? you can diffuse it or put one drop on the soles of your feet when you go to bed. If that does not work you can try cedar wood. Lavender has the same chemistry as valum so it is great to help you relax. Cedar wood helps the body release melatonin which also help you sleep.
    Sending healing light to you and your hubby. The dogs are helping you out in there cute doggy way 🙂
    Marian

  5. Talk about digging deep – when you feel yourself slipping backwards it is so tough – I am so glad that today you were still able to celebrate your blessings. I am wishing you healing.
    love Sue Girl

  6. Pingback: Wide Awake for a Reason | Cauldrons and Cupcakes

  7. Pingback: Saving Marlo | Cauldrons and Cupcakes

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s