Monday Oracle – 4 December 2017

 “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes...” – Marcel Proust

Hello, Lovelies!

December is a month for gifts of pleasure, true abundance and celebration. Keep that in mind as we look at the gifts which the oracle card Discovery brings us.

So, what awareness does Discovery bring us this week?

This week is all about forgiveness, sitting in our heart space, letting go of judgement and criticism of self and others, and being able to embrace the moment while becoming open to receive as we draw opportunities and adventures to us for the year ahead. It’s time to forgive ourselves for all of those moments in our lives we look back on and wince. It’s time to forgive others, to allow for new connections or healing to replace that energy of stuckness, pain, anger and shame.

I’m loving this week’s energy. I’ve just finished a BIG meditation for you, focusing on opening up to new possibilities and becoming comfortable with change. (It supports and continues the intention work I did with our crystal grid for 2018 on retreat last week.)

When we keep comparing our life to how it was a week, a month, years ago, it holds us in the past, and prevents us seeing the wonderful things in front of us right now. This week Discovery encourages us to let go of our attachment to needing situations or people to ‘go back’ to how they were in the past, or dwelling on ‘how they could have been’. If you’ve found yourself drowning in regret and melancholy, stuck in the past or glorifying how things were or ‘might have turned out if only things had happened differently’, this is your week to break that unhealthy attachment to wanting to recreate the impossible.

We finally begin to understand that we are changed, and can never return to who we were yesterday, a month ago, a decade ago. That person no longer exists because we have evolved and moved forward. The Universe is an ever-expanding force, and so are you. This holds true for everyone around you. None of us is the same person we were. Everyone and everything changes. We can never go back, only forward.

Discovery opens us to change and new life. It’s a week for letting go in order to embrace the new. As every door closes another one opens.

Keep reminding yourself that life is an unfolding miracle and you are worthy of love and all good things. It’s true, and I’m holding that space for you in my meditations this week.

Supportive crystals this week?

Clear Quartz lifts your vibration and opens you to flow. It is a highly spiritual stone, encouraging self-reflection and helpful for hearing messages and receiving signs or direction that can assist you on your journey. A clear quartz point or cluster will be extra supportive for you this week! Carnelian gives increased feelings of self-acceptance, creativity, energy and practical inspiration. Iolite illuminates your depths and helps you to see what’s hiding, and what you’re not seeing – a beautiful stone for boosting self-belief. Unakite opens your heart to love, and draws love, friendship and helpful people to you. It helps you to overcome feelings of isolation or loneliness. 

Helpful essential oils?

I’m loving Young Living’s Envision this week. It’s an oil blend I often use in my workshops and retreats to help my students connect to inner wisdom and intuition. It helps us to see a greater possibility for ourselves. Use Envision for spiritual connection, inspiration and breakthroughs. Dab a drop on your Crown Chakra, back of neck, over your heart, wrists and the soles of your feet, inhale directly or add to your diffuser. 

Want to make your own blend? Each of the following oils will work beautifully on their own for you this week, but they’ll also make a delicious combination for diffusing. Frankincense for spiritual and intuitive connection and restoration of faith. Geranium for stress reduction and emotional balance, and for evoking a sense of peace and goodwill. Orange for optimism and happiness. Pine for being grounded and centred in ourselves as we open to our highest potential. Pine is also an oil that supports family gatherings and open connection. To diffuse add 2 or three drops of each oil to your room or personal diffuser. You can find the oils here.

Holding you, as always, in my thoughts, prayers and meditations, and intending for you a life of abundance and joy, where you are no longer limited by your doubts.

All my love,

Nicole ❤ xx

PS: Monday’s oracle card, ‘Discovery’, is from the Chakra Wisdom Oracle Deck by Tori Hartman. I use any cards shown as a prompt for channelled messages and my own intuitive wisdom, so my take is sometimes quite different to the meaning found in a book. 

How to Connect with Unexpressed Grief and Emotional Pain

Image from weheartit.com

Image from weheartit.com

“Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.”
~ Sigmund Freud

 

It’s never healthy to swallow our grief, to stuff down our pain, to ignore our heartache.

And I also know that sometimes you just can’t fall afford to fall apart in the moment. You might be a care-giver. Or there’s no-one else to support you. You have to get to work on time. You got the bad news on a bus. There’s so much going on and it’s just one hit after another. You need to pick up the kids or keep going until you get through your final exams. One of those things. All of those things.

I understand.

But honey, it’s not healthy to bottle all that stuff up. Eventually those feelings need to be felt.

I have a prescription that works well, and it can be taken at a time that’s convenient to you.

Give yourself a decent length of time. It might be a night. It might be a weekend. It might be a week. You’ll know what feels right.

Get yourself ready by making sure that you’ll be on your own at home. Find some DVDs that you KNOW tap into your emotions and help you to truly feel and to cry. They will allow you to find a way back to your own repressed feelings through the journeys and stories of others.

Have some tissues on hand. Some food. Clean sheets, pyjamas, things that will comfort and nurture you.

Then sit on the couch and watch those movies.

Play the soundtracks that reduce you to tears.

Cry. Wail. Howl. Sob. Blubber like a baby. Scream with grief and rage. Storm around the house in despair and futility. Cry some more.

Get it all out.

Then sleep.

Go again.

Do this until you’re done.

You’ll know it because you’ll feel an easing. Sunshine will begin to pour into that space that’s been cramped and dark and musty. You’ll feel lighter somehow. You’ll come to a space of peace.

Feelings need to be felt.

Maybe it’s time to feel yours.

I’m holding that space for your healing.

All my love, Nicole xx

Image from tumblr

Image from tumblr

When you don’t know what you want…

“Even though there are no ways of knowing for sure, there are ways of knowing for pretty sure.” 
~ Lemony Snicket

Yesterday’s post was all about using your imagination to create a day designed around one thing – giving yourself emotional satisfaction and pleasure. I was thrilled with your responses – it’s such a fun game and I really hope you take the time to play it from time to time, on your own or with loved ones.

I also received a trail of sad little messages in my inbox yesterday. They were all similar, but this one sums them up:

Dear Nicole, while I loved the idea of your magical carpet ride I couldn’t think of a single place I wanted to go, or any food that I would eat, or even who I would be with. The more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve drawn a blank. Is there something wrong with me? I feel like such a failure. Please don’t take this the wrong way. I love your blog, but I don’t think I’m any good at imagination games. All I know how to do is work. I’m just really stuck where I am. 🙁 Could you maybe blog about that?

Oh dear.

Whenever we have that empty feeling, or it seems there is a big wall between us and that place where we know what we want it’s time to pay attention.

Image from tumblr

Image from tumblr

Common reasons for not knowing what we want include:

  1. Being physically, emotionally or mentally exhausted.
  2. Being in Survival Mode – survival mode is where we are functioning on reserve energy; doing the bare minimum to sustain life, pay bills and get through the day. In survival mode we think we cannot afford to waste even a shred of extra energy on anything non-vital.
  3. Being a low priority in our own lives. That’s a self-worth issue, honey!
  4. Having an ingrained belief that we are not worthy of pleasure.
  5. Having an ingrained belief that we can’t have fun until the work is done. Newsflash, people – the work will NEVER be done!
  6. Running on limited resources and worrying that if we don’t make the perfect choice we will waste time, money, effort or satisfaction. We are risk averse. Better to stick with something safe and reliable, even if it’s boring, than risk choosing something that doesn’t deliver, or, even worse, brings criticism from others. (Note – this is also a red flag that you are heading towards Survival Mode!)
  7. Fear that our choices will be judged, criticized or belittled by others. When we live in fear long enough we learn not to be visible or to do anything that may draw attention or criticism. We let others make the decisions for us.
  8. Social and cultural isolation – where our world has shrunk so small that we aren’t even aware of what choices might be available to us.
  9. Believing we don’t deserve pleasure, because of a past action, decision or some other choice we have made on which we judge ourselves negatively.
  10. Fear around taking time for ourselves or spending money on ourselves because we believe that unless we are 100% productive all the time we won’t be loved or lovable.

Sometimes all it takes to break free of this stuckness is to simply acknowledge that we ARE stuck, and to feel around for WHY we cannot connect to dreams any more.

Without hope, without dreams for tomorrow, life becomes colourless and meaningless.

If you’re one of those people who is stuck and don’t know what you want, that’s okay. Don’t be too hard on yourself. What you need is some inspiration.

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So precious by Georgina Hart

So read books, watch movies, go to travel agents and get some brochures, or browse online. Research and ask others what they’ve enjoyed. Try to make a little room in your life for possibility. Make a little room in your life for self nurture and self care. Reach out and make some new connections. You’ll be amazed at how, once you give your heart and imagination a little room, that the road begins to open up in front of you again.

This technique of ‘exploration through information and connection’ works for fantasy magical carpet days, relationships, holidays, jobs, homes, and other matters close to your heart. Why don’t you try it and see for yourself?

Much, much love to you, ♥ Nicole xoxo

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Guided Meditation for Emotional Healing

Image from www.123rf.com

Image from www.123rf.com

“…spiritual or emotional pain doesn’t become a memory so much as a bruise …” 
~ John Geddes, A Familiar Rain

I was up extra early this morning, after a difficult night. My daily practice, no matter where I am or what is happening in my life, is to meditate. So I found myself rugged up against the cold night air, sitting on the steps of my veranda at the farm, looking out over the night-time landscape.

An owl came and settled in the grand old Jacaranda tree overhead. The dark sky twinkled with stars, and I knew how easy it would be to offer up my pain and torment, and to find peace and calm again within my soul.

And then I thought of you.

I thought of how much you might benefit from sitting here in meditation with me, offering up your own emotional pain to the night sky and replacing that pain with a sense of peace and emotional expansion.

When we let go of the hurt and pain that sits in our heart, we find ourselves better able to heal, better able to accept positive energy and change, and we more easily move towards inner peace, health and happiness.

heart-energy

So I’ve recorded you a short guided meditation as I sat here under this tree. It will take eleven minutes, but I’d leave a little time either side, just to get ready for the meditation, and then to sit for a few minutes afterwards, integrating the energy of the meditation before you step into the rest of your day.

To participate, find a place where you won’t be disturbed for fifteen minutes. Then all you need to do is sit or lie down, make sure you are warm and comfortable, and follow along to the sound of my voice.

Click on the link below to get started:

Nicole Cody’s Guided Meditation for Emotional Healing

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Wishing you well, and sending you love, ♥ Nicole xx

Healing Old Hurts

“We are often haunted by important relationships from the past that influence us unconsciously in the present. As we work them through, they go from haunting us to becoming simply part of our history.” 
~ Norman Doidge, The Brain That Changes Itself: Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science

 

Why is it that some things are so hard to let go? I’m not talking about that happy reminiscing we all indulge in from time to time, where we look back on relationships or incidents from our past with a fondness or a good humour. I’m referring instead to those things that we can’t seem to move on from – where remembering them and recounting them re-opens old wounds, and causes pain almost as fresh as the day we were first hurt.

One of the precious privileges I have as a psychic is bearing witness to the pain many people suffer around their relationships. Even people who seem to have the most ‘together’ lives often open up and reveal how much they still hurt over relationships with family and others that they love or have loved deeply.

Old ladies in their nineties still worrying about fallings-out with their sisters when they were mere teenagers, old men are still bowed and shamed by incidents with their fathers or grandfathers.  People yearn and ache for lost loves and relationships that ended badly. We grieve mistakes and bad choices, and crucify ourselves for past decisions. We carry these hurts with us though life.  Why? They are all unresolved issues.

If you fight and then make up, or discuss things and decide to part ways, that’s a resolution. When we have resolution and closure – even if it’s painful – something inside us lets go and we find ourselves able to eventually move on.

An unresolved issue is any situation where we didn’t feel heard or loved or supported or understood. Where we never got to a conclusion or a resolution.

Sometimes we are fortunate enough to be able to find resolution years after a situation has occurred. A friend’s father had a difficult upbringing.  His own father had been extremely hard on his children, and in some cases that hardness had actually been cruel. My friend’s dad had been dogged by this his whole adult life. As his father became ill and required care, my friend’s Dad, by now a man in his fifties, finally decided to speak to his father.  The older man had no idea that his actions had so hurt his son and other children. He thought he’d been being a good father by ‘toughening up his children’ so that they wouldn’t suffer in life the way that he had. The old man apologised unreservedly.  It led to a great healing and a new closeness in the relationship between father and son, and my friend’s dad felt as if a weight had finally been lifted from his shoulders.

Occasionally, after time has passed, we are lucky enough to be able to have that conversation, and finally feel heard and acknowledged.

Another friend found the courage to speak to an older sibling about something that had divided their relationship as teenagers and stopped them speaking with one another.  They are now in their sixties.  It didn’t go as my friend had hoped.  They talked, but there was no apology, no new closeness, no opportunity for a mended relationship.  Still, it gave my friend closure. She has stopped wondering if the relationship can be salvaged.  She has mourned it and let it go.

It is worth attempting resolution, or seeking closure. Even when the outcome is not what you may have hoped, it can allow you to let go of the thing you have carried around inside you for so long.

Sometimes we’re able to have that conversation.

But when we can’t, there are still options.

If the person is alive but unwilling, if they are no longer able to be found, or if they have passed over, we can hold the conversation in our head instead.  We can write them a letter we never send.  We can still get it all off our chest.

Sometimes WE are the person we have the issue with. Well, we’ll still need to have that dialogue, even if it’s with ourselves.

Good therapists can help here. Hanging onto this painful stuff buried deep within is never good for us, and can lead to anxiety issues, depression and even post-traumatic stress.

Sometimes what is most needed is simply to accept the other person and their behaviour; to understand that they are who they are, that they won’t change, and that expecting them to be different will always cause disappointment and hurt for you.

Finding resolution and letting go of old hurts is about energetically releasing ourselves from the past. Sure, we may end up with a scar, but a scar can’t be reopened like a wound can. We may have a reminder, but we can find ways to accept, to forgive, to put it behind us, to move on.

Most importantly, when we heal old hurts, we gather all of the emotion and energy that we were placing on that person or situation and it becomes available for us to use in new ways.  We can put it towards creative projects, new love, business, health and well-being. Tremendous energy can be wasted by being caught up in the past. So much so that it prevents us from living in the present or moving into the future in any satisfying way.

Healing old hurts is possible, and is one of the most worthwhile things you’ll ever do. 

* Other posts you may find helpful around this topic are:

Emotions and their impact on your health

Knowing when to let go

Parents are also people

Closing the door on abusive relationships

Working with the energy of forgiveness (this one also has a guided meditation)

 

A Room of One’s Own…

room

Thank you, Virginia, for that most valuable of advice.

When I was younger her quote didn’t make much sense – weren’t women independent now, didn’t we have the vote, weren’t we emancipated and equal and couldn’t we Have It All?

A room? Goddam it Virginia, I’m a modern woman. I can buy myself a whole house if I like. Don’t need a man for that.  Don’t need permission. Money? I can earn my own!

Foolishly, I thought that being a child of a new generation meant that Ms Woolf’s wisdom didn’t apply to me. But it is so much more relevant than I had realised.  Being part of the generation of ‘We Can Have It All’ means that most of us don’t have the time or the energy for that room, and all our money is allocated to mortgages and other grown-up responsibilities.  Dreams are relegated to the dusty recesses of our minds, or that mythical ‘one day…’ place.

But I was pondering this morning the healing value of having a corner of life just for yourself and your own interests. A little time for which you didn’t need to account to anyone, and a little cash for the requisites to fill that corner. Same same, as they say in Thailand. Virginia, you really were onto something!

2012-06-04 11.06.04

My corner is a movable place, populated by my Macbook (which I purchased just so I could use the Scrivener program), some notebooks, a pencil case, index cards and pocket money for lattes, snacks and photocopying.

I might lie in bed and write, or duck out to the local coffee shop. I have written on trains, planes, verandas, decks of boats, under trees, hotel rooms, in my car, and many other locations – which is why my ‘corner’ is portable.

I also have a Tibetan Prayer Bowl, a journal, some crystals, a deck of Tarot cards and a few other bits and pieces for my Spiritual Grab Bag. Same same, only different to my Mac Bag. See what I mean?

crystal-circle

We don’t need grand gestures to get started on what’s important to us. We can have our ‘room’ by creating little windows of time, a small basket of tools or accessories, accompanied by the jingle of just a little loose change in our pockets.

So what’s your thing? What gives your life meaning and pleasure? What fills you up?

We all need a room of our own, a few dollars to be spent as we so choose, and the emotional luxury and freedom that this affords us.

2013 is almost upon us. I’m gently encouraging you to create a small corner in life just for you and your dreams.  One you can visit often, even if only for the briefest of times from week to week.

Wonderful new directions, satisfactions and accomplishment can be had by giving yourself a little breathing space.

Go on. I dare you!

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