Why Being ‘Nice’ Can Be Poisonous To Your Soul


“Share your weaknesses. Share your hard moments. Share your real side. It’ll either scare away every fake person in your life or it will inspire them to finally let go of that mirage called “perfection,” which will open the doors to the most important relationships you’ll ever be a part of.” 
~ Dan Pearce

Lovelies, today I want to share my perspective on ‘making nice’ with you.

Kindness is a loving balm, understanding is a mental tonic, compassion grows our hearts, love is food for the soul, but niceness? Far too often niceness is a poison administered to ourselves by our own hand.

There is a trend (and I recognise it because I once was in that same place!) where people beginning to become spiritually aware try to live from a place of unconditional love. That’s a beautiful thing, but too often what gets practised is not actually unconditional love but ‘niceness’.

Many people consider niceness to be a virtue; a sign of living from heart, and acting from love. I’m not referring to kindness, or good manners, or amiability. I’m talking here about pleasing others, not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings, and being agreeable and amenable, even if it comes at a high cost to yourself.

Speaking our truth honours us, and it teaches us honest and direct communication that honours and respects others. Can we come from a place of unconditional love and still speak our truth? Absolutely! Because the premise of unconditional love is that we also love ourselves.

Authenticity requires us to live with honesty – not with silencing ourselves or suppressing our true thoughts and emotions.

Niceness is not about unconditional love – it is about giving up honesty in order to avoid disapproval, confrontation, rejection, ridicule or embarrassment. It elevates the happiness and well-being of others above your own. It is based on falseness, and by its nature, niceness prevents honesty and authenticity. When you come from niceness you teach others to devalue you, and disrespect you. You do not set clear boundaries.

Niceness does not come from a heart-centred life. It grows out of fear and a lack of self-worth. It is a behaviour that goes counter to our intuitive wisdom, and to those gut-based mechanisms that keep us safe.  We tell people what they want to hear, we do and say things to keep others happy or to keep the peace. We act in a way that pleases others but that robs us of a little (or a big bit!) of ourselves.

There is always a way to tell the difference between being nice and being kind.  Kindness comes from a place of being centred, and it empowers us.  It strengthens us, as it strengthens others. We can act with generosity or compassion and there is no cost to us, or it is a cost we willingly bear.  We give without expecting anything in return, for the sake of uplifting others.

Niceness always leaves you with an aftertaste – you know you have’t spoken truthfully; you feel that twang of inauthentic energy, that twinge of discomfort, or you even get that sense of being taken for granted or taken for a ride.

Niceness diminishes us, even when it strengthens others. We bite our tongue in order to say the flattering thing, we do the act with a little flame of resentment in our heart. And sometimes it starts out as kindness – but our kindness becomes expected, or disrepected – we are taken advantage of but we are unable to speak up about that and voice our own feelings. So we act nice instead.

When we choose niceness it poisons us.  It leads to depression, anxiety, shame, emotional distress, guilt, anger and despair.   Life-long patterns of niceness leave us open to exploitation and invite difficult, damaging and dangerous relationships into our lives.

We end up doing things we don’t want to do – we can become an entirely different person to who we are on the inside. We can lose ourselves so completely that we have no idea any more what makes us happy, what our preferences are, what we want in life…

Taken to extremes, through living a life of niceness we can cease to exist. Instead, we become a support role in someone else’s life. We become Cinderella, at home scrubbing the floors while her stepsisters are out having fun!

Are you too nice?

Maybe it’s time to start honouring your own truth. Love starts with the self, and healthy self-esteem can only be built by standing up for yourself, giving your feelings a voice, and attending to your own needs.  You can do that and still be polite.  You can do that and still be kind.  You can do that and still be likeable, lovable and accepted.  Don’t keep drinking that from that poisonous niceness bottle!

And if your acts of self-respect and kindness aren’t taken well by others? Maybe it’s time to  get some space, maybe it’s time to stop giving, maybe it’s time to move on… If you have to be ‘nice’ in order for your life to work, the price will always be too high.

You might be surprised. As you begin voicing your honest thoughts, you give others permission to do the same. Being authentic can create great change. It invites miracles. And this week supports that kind of energy, so be brave and embrace your truth then live from that space and watch the magic begin to happen in your life. Choose love. Choose kindness. And above all, be true to yourself. It’s worth it! 

Much love, Nicole ❤ xx

Image from www.simplereminders.com

A Week For Truth and Discernment – Monday Oracle 29 April 2019

“We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be.” ~ May Sarton

Hello, Lovelies!

April calls you to live from your heartspace. This month lifts you above your obstacles, or helps you to blaze a trail through them. Expect magical insights and guidance to help light the path ahead. It’s time to believe in yourself and your dreams even if no-one else yet believes. Keep that in mind as we look at the gifts of inspiration which the card Truth brings us.

Truth speaks of the importance of being able to take off your mask and let people see you the way that you really are. But it’s also about being protective and protecting your inner truth or those tender parts of yourself when you need to. This is an act of self-love and an honouring of your self-worth.

So this is really a message of discernment – knowing when to show yourself and when it’s actually okay to mask or hide or protect aspects of yourself from judgment or from ridicule. This week you’re urged to know yourself and to put thought into knowing when to share.

Truth is also about evaluating your relationships and knowing who you can trust and who you can be yourself with. There will always be people who are judgmental and unsupportive – keep your precious and tender energies and ideas away from people who would ridicule, reject or smash them down. Instead, look for people who can champion the authentic you and the gifts you seek to share with the world.

Image by Ulrike Mai from Pixabay

Truth asks you to look at where you are not being honest with yourself. Look to where you are numbing yourself with food, alcohol, work, sex or drugs and ask ‘Why am I doing this? What am I really feeling?’

Be brave enough to examine your life honestly this week to make sure that your inner truth is reflected and supported in your outer journey.

Most of all, remember that as much as self-reflection and self-awareness are important skills in your life, so is the ability to laugh at yourself and not take everything so seriously. Look to places where your life or your attitude would benefit from ‘lightening up’, and do your best not to give yourself or anyone else a hard time.

Image by Ryan McGuire from Pixabay

Supportive crystals this week?

Malachite is a stone to help you overcome perceived limitations. It is a stone of manifestation and abundance that gifts focus and resilience. Amethyst helps you to tune in to all forms of spiritual guidance and to make wise decisions. Green Jade works with your Heart Chakra to bring balance and integration of Body, Mind and Spirit. It is positive and nurturing, strengthening self-worth. Citrine (pictured) supports your Solar Plexus Chakra and sense of identity. It is a stone of abundance, clearing blocks of low self-worth and creating flow.

Image from www.gemstonebuzz.com

Helpful essential oils?


Wild Orange essential oil supports your Inner Child, and fosters creativity, curiosity and an upbeat mood about life – Wild Orange uplifts mood and replaces anxiety with a grounded optimism too. It’s my favourite oil to use when I am anxious or feeling flat.
Sandalwood is a fabulous oil for keeping you grounded and assisting with overcoming fear, exhaustion and overwhelm. It will help with moving you to a place of emotional and spiritual renewal, and aids mindful awareness and intuition. These oils can be diffused on their own or in combination.

I’m passionate about essential oils and their capacity to support our wellness journey and our spiritual and emotional wellbeing. If you’d like to know more or want to source the oils I recommend and trust visit this site or contact me at channelnc@gmail.com

Want to Join Us For A Tea Party in June?

Are you in the mood for a tea party with friends? Some time with like-minded people in a magical environment that honours nature and the fairy realms and the everyday magic and intuition that resides within us all? An event with yummy food, fun activities and time to talk, meditate, be a little crafty and a little witchy too?

We are so excited to present to you our beautiful High Tea that celebrates the Winter Solstice and all things Fairy! I will be hosting this event with my dear Fairy friend, Sokli, who has lots of Fairy Wisdom to share with us.

Here are all the important details:

St Columb’s Hall – Victoria Street, Clayfield

Saturday 22nd June from 11 am to 2pm.

$97 per person – including High Tea and all Activities (Click here to book your tickets)

DRESS CODE – Fabulously Fairy or A Little Bit Garden Greenery!

This week, sit in your heart. Honour your truth. Dare to show people the parts of yourself you have hidden away. Be brave and vulnerable. You’ve got this!

Lots of love, Nicole ❤ xx

PS: Monday’s oracle card, ‘Truth’, is from the Sacred Power Reading Cards by Anna Stark. I use any cards shown as a prompt for channelled messages and my own intuitive wisdom, so my take is sometimes quite different from the meaning found in a book.

How to Self-Care When Life Is Challenging!

Photo by rawpixel.com from Pexels

“Self-care is how you take your power back.” ~ Lalah Delia

It’s simple enough to be well-intentioned and kind to yourself when life is going smoothly. Or if you are on holidays. Or in a really good head space.

But when we are hard up against it – when we have crushing deadlines, or horrible dramas, or the people around us are treating us badly, when we’re ill, depressed or in pain – that’s the time where we most need good self-care, and it is usually the time where we are least inclined to give it to ourselves.

After years of illness, and in my line of work (as a psychic and a support for many people going through their own hardships) where there is no ‘off-switch’, I’ve learned the hard way that self-care is essential. Always. Fortunately I’ve also discovered that it isn’t such a difficult ask of ourselves, and that a little self-awareness and kindness towards ourselves goes a long way towards keeping us resilient and coping in the most troubled of times.

Here are my top ten tips for getting yourself through whatever you might be facing right now:

1.Drink enough water. When we are well hydrated our body is less acidic, we can flush toxins and stress hormones from our system better, we sleep more deeply and our brains work more clearly.

Image by Pezibear from Pixabay

2. Have a shower, wash your hair and put on some clean clothes. For an additional touch of self-love use a perfume, scented moisturiser, aftershave or essential oil whose fragrance lifts your spirits or reminds you of someone you love. If washing your hair is just too hard, pull it back neatly, plait it, or tuck it under a scarf or cap. When I was at my most ill, I’d make myself bathe and put clean pyjamas on. It helped. A lot. And it was always worth the effort, even when I was exhausted. Clean sheets can do wonders for the soul too!

Photo by Abigail Lynn on Unsplash

3. Find five minutes for meditation. Meditation calms and centres us, and helps us find our way back to ourselves, our soul and to Spirit. Try any of these simple techniques:


Easy Five Minute Meditation


Taking Energy From Trees


Eating The Sun

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

4. Dance. To one uplifting song. Sing along, and let your body move to the beat. Dance in your lounge room. Dance in the car. Of if you’re confined to bed, sway, tap your hands, draw that music deep into your body and belt out the lyrics.

Photo by Taylor Ann Wright on Unsplash

5. Have a plan, and then work the plan. Choose a time when you can sit down for ten minutes with a cup of tea or a cold drink and your diary. Think of something you want to get done and then break it down into steps and assign those steps to the coming days, weeks or months. Allow more time than you need – because in troubled times we need to allow ourselves extra flexibility. No need to give yourself more pressure when you’re already under the pump. Plans enacted help us to take control back in our lives, and give us something to work towards. It’s okay if your plan is for completing something small. Every time we act instead of procrastinate something strengthens within us.

6. Go for a walk in nature. Can’t walk? Then try to simply earth yourself instead. If you’re confined to bed or unable to get outside sit by an open window or door. Use your eyes and ears. Use your skin. Let your mind wander outside even if your body can’t.

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

7. Eat something healthy that will nurture and strengthen your body. Choose foods that you know support you. Food gives us energy and helps our bodies work better. Eating irregular meals and junk food slows us down and makes us feel worse instead of better. Sometimes poor food choices are all we will have. Don’t beat yourself up and don’t sit in guilt. Eating is better than not eating. Decide to make a better choice or plan to bring healthy food tomorrow.

Image by Deborah Breen Whiting from Pixabay

8.Hugs and the company of friends can be healing. In hard times we often feel that the only way to cope is to withdraw. But in that space of social isolation life becomes even more difficult. While it is important to take time to be on your own, you need emotional support too. You can get this from online groups, phone calls, coffee or meal dates, craft dates, pets, good friends and supportive family. Reaching out to others can make a world of difference when life is filled with difficulty.

Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash

9. Learn something new, or escape for a time into another world. A book, a movie, a newspaper, a short course. A trip to a new part of town. Stay curious. When we’re in something for the long haul we create emotional space and better coping capacity for ourselves by having something new or interesting to think about that takes us away from our troubles.

Photo by Lê Tân on Unsplash

10. Get enough sleep. Sleep is a healing balm that restores the best parts of us. Shut yourself away for an early night, or spend the weekend in bed catching up on your rest. An epsom salts bath, some lavender essential oil or a relaxing herbal tea at night will all help get you into that restful space.

Image from veryfunnypics.com


How You Shape My Morning


“Never believe that a few caring people can’t change the world. For, indeed, that’s all who ever have.” ~ Margaret Mead

Good morning, Lovelies!

It’s just after 5am. I am here at my desk, about to begin writing my blog, and I thought today I would share how you shape my morning routine.

I was awake a little before 4am, as I always am, to meditate. Right now I am meditating twice a day for the students who recently attended my ‘Connect to Your Calling’ Retreat. I check in on each of them energetically and work on them as they need it. Then I tune in to you. I offer up my prayers for you and your families. I send you love and healing, I hold the intent for you that you know yourself, care for yourself and are able to express your unique personality and gifts in the world. I send love and light and peace to situations, places, people and leaders. And finally, I ask how I can best serve you today which is usually how I come up with whatever I will write in my blog.

My husband is still sleeping. My dogs are asleep. The world is quiet. It’s just me, holding space for you. This is my sacred time. The time where I can reach out to you, or make a positive difference in your life somehow.

I know some of us have never met, in person anyway. But you matter to me. Caring for you shapes my day. You see, when I was younger and very ill I felt so alone. I had no energy for friendships or connection. My first marriage had recently failed. I was completely broke and broken. Each day was a struggle. I felt that if I were to die no-one would even notice. I was socially and emotionally isolated.

Then one day I went into a tiny shop in Brisbane that sold items from Tibet. It became somewhere I hung out at whenever I had the energy. I bought my first singing bowl, and a Buddhist monk taught me some Tibetan meditation techniques using the singing bowl and a mala, and gifted me some mala beads. One day a new group of monks from Tibet arrived and through a translator I learned that they meditated for their community and the world every day. Each of them worked to support different groups of people, and in that moment I understood that somewhere in the world were people I had never met who were including me in their prayers, thoughts and meditations, with the sole intent that they somehow provide comfort or support to me. They explained to me that many monks and nuns from different faiths did this kind of work, and that this work of holding space for people was something I could do too. This was something I had also been shown by my Aboriginal Aunties.

The monks helped me to establish my own meditation practice for serving others, and I have done that in my morning and evening meditations ever since.

Often I have woken in the night because of my connection with you. Perhaps I will hold you in my thoughts and send you love and energy. Sometimes I will get out of bed and contact you directly by message or phone, or I will see that you have reached out to me or have posted publicly about a problem and I will respond. I see that as part of my life, a life where we are all connected even if we have not ever met in person.

This morning I need you to know that in this tiny corner of the world is a woman whose first thought each morning is you. That the prayers I offer, the meditation I do, the incense I light is for you. Know that there are many others who hold that prayerful and loving space for you too. Our humanity unites us, our love and service binds us. Tune in and feel those waves of energy, those ripples of love that are always there for you. You are truly loved. You matter.

So, that is how you shape my morning.

I’m going to make a cup of tea now, and write in my journal. Then the day will unfold and off I’ll go to meet it.

But tonight in my meditation, and tomorrow morning, I will be with you.

All my love, Nicole ❤ xx

Lean In To Your Emotions This Week


“My favourite words are possibilities, opportunities and curiosity. I think if you are curious, you create opportunities, and then if you open the doors, you create possibilities.” ~ Mario Testino

What do you do when your emotional state is not great?

Do you distract yourself, numb yourself, or work furiously at positive affirmations? (Note that common numbing mechanisms can include work, eating, drugs, alcohol, sex and screen time.)

Sometimes a blue mood is simply a lack of sleep, dehydration or something we ate. But sometimes it is a red flag, put there by our subconscious to help us tune in to a deeper truth. This week I’m asking you to lean in to your feelings rather than to numb them or ignore them.

I’m not telling you to give yourself over to your despair or regret or fatigue or depression. I’m asking you to pull up a chair and sit with it awhile. Lean in. Listen to what it has to say. Stay curious. And expect answers and insights.

Keep asking Why do I feel this way? 

Think about when the feeling came on. Was there a particular action, person or circumstance? What food and/or beverages did you consume recently? Is there a pattern to how you feel? (Eg. Always blue on Monday mornings but great on Saturday?)

Ask yourself What does this mean for me? and see what comes up for you.

Ask yourself What’s this really all about? How do I really feel?

Eventually you’ll tune in to a deeper truth. You’ll find out where you are stuck in limiting thought patterns or beliefs, where you are doing things that don’t fulfil you, where you are behaving in ways that are out of alignment with your soul’s purpose and energies, or where you are ignoring your physical body.

When you lean in and really listen, you get answers. Those answers and insights, if acted upon, can change your life in positive and magical ways.

So, lean in, my friends. Be brave. Be gentle with yourself. Stay aware. Lean in and learn.

All my love, Nicole ❤ xx

PS – Extra Support For Your Year
Need help to connect to your inner wisdom and soul energy? I have limited hard copies of my beautiful YOM 2019 Planner left. And plenty of copies of the digital version. If you purchase one, or one of the Planner packs (that also have new year direction readings, meditation malas or crystals with them) I’ll gift you a month’s free access to my community and membership site (and a chance to win a year’s free membership!) so you can experience my work, and be well supported to start your year.

You can access the Planner and Planner Packs here in our store or read more about them here.

Guided Meditation Bundle

I’ve also bundled together four powerful guided downloadable meditations and created a companion workbook to support you in your spiritual journey. The Stardust Connection Meditation Bundle will help you to connect with and explore Earth Energies, Ancestor Energies, your Solar Plexus energies and personal power, and the Stardust Energies. There is over an hour’s worth of Guided Meditations and a 38-page workbook. The workbook holds specific instructions for using the four guided meditations, as well as journalling activities and reflection/awareness exercises.

The material in the Stardust Connection Meditation Bundle can be used at any time over the next four years, and beyond. My intention with this bundle is to help you become confident in your direction, your intuition, and your contribution to the unfolding history of the world and humanity. To access the bundle or to learn more about it go to my store or click on this link.

2019’s Astrological Events To Awaken and Support Us – Info and Home Study Course


“Everybody has a little bit of the sun and moon in them. Everybody has a little bit of man, woman, and animal in them. Darks and lights in them. Everyone is part of a connected cosmic system. Part earth and sea, wind and fire, with some salt and dust swimming in them. We have a universe within ourselves that mimics the universe outside.”

~ Suzy Kassem

On January 3rd I held my first webinar of the year for my membership group. We discussed the energies of 2019 and how best to use them in our lives, and I also spent time talking about the four-year period (2019 -2022) we have just entered, which is heralded by some incredible astrological events that are happening around us right now and will continue to happen over the next few months.

In response to these events I’ve created a special bundle of four downloadable guided meditations and a 38-page workbook to help you work with and be transformed by the current celestial and cosmic energies. You can access it here now if you’re impatient and don’t feel like reading through to the end of this post.

The Coming Change And How It Can Support You

This four year period is known as The Threshold, and it is being kicked off by a series of astrological events that have already started. I’d like to briefly outline them for you.

January 3 – The Quadrantids Meteor Shower

This meteor shower was most visible over the 3rd and 4th of January, but for the next two months it will be raining microscopic particles down upon us. This shower of golden stardust (literally!) is also the very basis of our own life – we too are made from stardust.

The galactic energy of this meteor shower is awakening something within us. We are beginning to feel both our significance and insignificance in the bigger scheme of the cosmos. That we are here right now is no accident. We are connected to all things, and it is time for us to step into the space of being good ancestors while we are alive and conscious – ensuring the viability of the earth for future generations. We see that our lives matter – that this life and how we live it matters. Not just to us, but for our future selves and for those who will come after us through our family tree.

January 5-6 – Partial Solar Eclipse

This partial Solar Eclipse began the process of activating and rebalancing our Solar Plexus energy. It is waking us out of struggle, helping us to reconnect to flow. It is strengthening our identifty, individuality and resolve. We begin to understand who we are and – most importantly – what we want to contribute in the world and what matters most to us. As the Solar Eclipse asserts its energies we are supported over the next few months to make plans, to start new projects, to build on existing work, and to make changes that will positively affect the course of our life. It heralds the start of a deepening need within us to live in greater alignment with our values, and to live from a place of ethical and spiritual congruency.

January 20 – 21 – Total Lunar Eclipse Supermoon

This eclipse is the ‘Night of the Luminous Soul‘. It gifts us the capacity to become calm warriors in our families and communities. The eclipse heralds energies of courage, clarity, determination, resilience, patience and empathy. We realise that we are not our struggle, and we can choose to align ourselves with solutions and actions that will change the face and future of our world, starting right now. It is a time for revelations and breakthroughs, for divine inspiration and conscious creativity. It is a time for hope and optimism.

How to Use These Energies in Your Own Life

  1. Spend time in nature, on your own or with a companion animal. Allow yourself to relax and then to connect more deeply into nature. As you relax trust that you will begin to know yourself better, and that the best way forward for your life will begin to present itself to you.
  2. Get outside, wherever you are. Become aware of the sky above you, and of the stars, sun and moon. Become aware of the earth beneath your feet, of the air you breathe, of the food you eat. Be in your body. Be of this world. But, also, feel your soul.
  3. Spend time meditating and journalling, supported by these cosmic energies.

I’ll be blogging about the Supermoon Lunar Eclipse over the next few days with some specific free activities for you to try.

Meanwhile, if you head over to my store, I’ve bundled together four powerful guided downloadable meditations and created a companion workbook to support you as you work with these celestial energies. The Stardust Connection Meditation Bundle will help you to connect with and explore Earth Energies, Ancestor Energies, your Solar Plexus energies and personal power, and the Stardust Energies. There is over an hour’s worth of Guided Meditations and a 38-page workbook. The workbook holds specific instructions for using the four guided meditations, as well as journalling activities and reflection/awareness exercises.

The material in the Stardust Connection Meditation Bundle can be used at any time over the next four years, and beyond. My intention with this bundle is to help you become confident in your direction, your intuition, and your contribution to the unfolding history of the world and humanity. To access the bundle or to learn more about it go to my store or click on this link.

Much love to you, Nicole ❤ xx

Things to be thankful for…

“Take time daily to reflect on how much you have. It may not be all that you want but remember someone somewhere is dreaming to have what you have.” ~Germany Kent

This morning I’m counting my Blessings. Such a simple thing to do, and it always makes me feel richer. I like to count them off on my fingers – a tangible act, and a way of really anchoring their truth in my life. Blessings to me are always the simple things in life, and often the things we take for granted.  Even on the worst of days we can find something to be grateful for.  Counting blessings gets my attention OFF the things I don’t want, and back on the things I do. It’s an instant mood lifter that keeps things in perspective for me. It never takes much to find something that’s a blessing.

Today I am grateful for:

1. The sound of wind in the trees as I go to sleep, and birdsong as I wake up.

2. The warmth of the fire, and the sweet smell of woodsmoke in the cold morning air. (I’m also grateful for my husband, who chops the wood and loads the wheelbarrow, and stokes the fire for me!)

3. Chai tea, enough for two, sipped from big bowls, with just a dusting of cinnamon.

4. My Meyer Lemon tree, and its abundance of luscious fruit. And the fresh Lemon Curd I can spread on my morning toast!

5. Farmers’ Markets, and the dedication of our local growers to grow or make the best seasonal fresh produce.

6. My Kindle, and being able to snuggle under the doona on a lazy morning, sipping chai and reading books.

7. My dogs, Rufous and Harry, for their love and companionship.

8. Writing. It is my greatest love, and the thing that wakes me up in the middle of the night, brimful of ideas.

9. Red Jasper which grounds and nurtures, and feels wonderful to have tucked up within my aura.

10. Trees. My little farmhouse is cradled by hundred-year-old trees who whisper their secrets, one to another, and add an incredible energy to this place and to me.

How about you? What do you have to be thankful for today? Go on – count them off on your fingers!

Wishing you many Blessings, Nicole  xx

The Power of Focus – Monday Oracle 17 September 2018

“If you want to be happy, do not dwell in the past, do not worry about the future, focus on living fully in the present.
~  Roy T. Bennett

 

Hello, Lovelies!

September is a month for adventuring and travel. It’s a month for exploring new lands, or undiscovered parts of ourselves. Routine and the usual choices will hold no interest for us. We will long for life to surprise us, and we’ll feel compelled to try new things. We will be less held back with worry about what other people think of us. Keep that in mind as we look at the gifts of inspiration which the oracle card Ace of Swords brings us.

Ace of Swords reminds us of the power of focus. This week it is important to bring that focus to your life. Don’t scatter your energy by trying to do too many things at once, by being all things to all people and by multi-tasking.

There is something powerful in bringing your attention to the moment – to living fully in the presence of a person, a task, an idea. Your focus becomes a sacred act. It can lead to the creation of new things. It can invoke patterns of completion. It heightens flow of inspiration and draws forth synchronicities and magic.

What can you bring your focus to this week? What most needs your attention? How can you create a concerted effort to get something started or completed? This week also supports major decision making and all forms of writing, legal work and signing of important documents.

Supportive crystals this week?

Pyrite promotes confidence, good decision-making, courage and the ability to embrace your potential. Tree Agate heightens your intuition, connecting you to synchronicity, soul wisdom, guides and universal energy. It will help you to work out your priorities and where to best spend your precious energy. Red Jasper will keep you grounded as the ideas flow, and gift you stamina and resilience if you end up burning the candle at both ends. Fluorite (pictured below) taps you into your innate creativity, fires up your inspiration and helps you to be honest, objective and innovative with your work.  

Helpful essential oils?

This week you need essential oils that can help you bring your mind to a place of clarity, calm and productivity. The following oils can be diffused or inhaled on their own but also blend beautifully together:

  • Rosemary
  • Lemon
  • Lavender
  • Peppermint
  • Cypress
  • Eucalyptus

Need an extra boost of encouragement? Try Young Living’s Believe essential oil blend. It’s fabulous in your diffuser while you work, or as a quick pick-me-up. Believe is uplifting and promotes confidence, spiritual connection, clarity and belief in ourselves. It also helps us to let go of fear, doubt and old emotional pain and hurt.  I often use this oil when I am creating, writing or journalling, or working with cards for myself. 

 You can find the oils here.

 

Holding you, as always, in my thoughts, prayers and meditations, and intending for you a life of abundance and joy, where you are no longer limited by your doubts.

All my love,

Nicole ❤ xx

PS: Monday’s oracle card, ‘Ace of Swords’, is from the Inner Child Cards – A Fairy-Tale Tarot. I use any cards shown as a prompt for channelled messages and my own own intuitive wisdom, so my take is sometimes quite different to the meaning found in a book. 

 

Being Okay With Where You Are

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” 
Lao Tzu

I’m still recovering from the flu, and gee, it’s taking muuuuuuch longer than I would have liked. On top of that I managed to pick up a vomiting bug because of my dodgy immune system, so that has meant a couple of useless days just as I was picking up again.

I have to be honest. Yesterday morning after a horrid night I was quite despairing. You know; tears of frustration, being totally over it, and yes – being down on myself too. I wanted to be writing. I wanted to be back at work. I wanted to be doing so many other things. I wanted hair free of knots!!! (Try lying in bed through fevers and misery for a month and see what that does to your hair – I know some of you completely get this because things like illness and depression are not friends to long locks…)

And oh the guilt I began to feel that here I was in bed. Again.

I didn’t stop myself feeling any of those things.

That never helps.

This is my truth. I’m getting better slowly. I’m frustrated. I had a less-than-great couple of days. It was okay to be in a bit of a hole.

It’s helpful to be able to be honest about where you are and how you feel. I had a cry on the phone to my sister. I had a cry with Ben. I had a cry with the dogs. After which I slept and slept and slept.

This morning I am doing better. In a week or so I’ll be back to doing all the things I had wanted to do. Meanwhile, I am where I am and it is what it is.

I realised a few years ago that I had bought into this crazy belief that I needed to be 100% on 100% of the time. Because of that belief I pushed myself relentlessly. No matter what my truth was. This perfection thing is all around us – on social media, in magazines and on television and in movies. It’s the expectation at schools and universities and in our workplaces. We’re not meant to have down days, sad days, sick days, ugly days.

Except that we all do.

We all do.

So my lovelies, the next time you have a down day or a sick day, the next day you feel like crawling back under the covers and not facing the day, extend yourself some compassion and know that it’s normal to not be 100% on your game every single day. Only robots and Stepford Wives do that. Everything else you see providing evidence to the contrary is a carefully curated lie. Please don’t buy into that!

A model’s self portrait in the style of the Stepford Wives by Christine McConnell

No matter what your current reality there is no point fighting it. It is what it is. Fighting against your truth is disempowering. You beat yourself up, lower your vibration and end up feeling even worse than you did before. It keeps you in the hole longer.

Accepting where you are at, honestly and without judgement, creates shift.

Don’t like where you are at? Accept that truth. Sometimes that’s all you need to do to create movement in a new direction and a lightening up of your mood and situation.

Don’t want to keep living this current version of yourself? Decide to change it. That’s not fighting it, that’s empowering yourself to move in a different direction. Wanting to change and then deciding to change still honours where you currently are and that’s so important for self-love and self-acceptance. Affirm to yourself I am where I am but I can change. 

No matter our current situation and how difficult things are we still have choices. We change emotionally, intellectually, spiritually or physically. That knowledge can be a life-raft, and it can open doors to new possibilities.

Self-acceptance is, in itself, a powerful force for change and for creating flow.

Sending you love and hugs, and holding you in my meditations, Nicole  xx

That 2am Place – A Lesson In Mindfulness for Insomniacs

“It was that sort of sleep in which you wake every hour and think to yourself that you have not been sleeping at all; you can remember dreams that are like reflections, daytime thinking slightly warped.” 
Kim Stanley Robinson

I’m still in the grip of this flu. Not only that, I’m stuck in the city so that I can be close to a hospital while my heart continues to misbehave.

Here I am again, awake at 2am (which is when I am writing this – I’ll schedule it to post all by itself so I can sneak back to bed later and hopefully finally get some more sleep). Each night I’m in bed early, and I’ll fall asleep easily. But then my heart wakes me up, sometime between 11pm and 2am, pounding and crashing and racing in my chest. I’ll sit up in bed, distressed, catch my breath and cough a little and then quieten myself and try to bring my heart back to a normal pace using meditation and my breath. I’ll have a nice big glass of water with magnesium too, which sometimes helps. Still, it’s a bother.

Once upon a time, years and years ago, I used to panic at stuff like this. I was an amateur back then and worried excessively about every creak groan, pain and weird symptom. Now this kind of stuff is background noise mostly, and I have a raft of management techniques I use while I wait to see what my body will do and if I will need medical attention or whether it will settle on its own. One of my favourite techniques is mindfulness.

Mindfulness has become a soothing companion for me over the years. I use it three ways. I thought that by sharing this you might be able to add it in to your coping skills toolkit too. This technique works for pain, anxiety and many other kinds of problems.

  1. I become mindful of my body. Sitting or lying quietly I bring my attention to my breath. Then I take a tour, starting at the top of my head and working all the way to the tips of my toes. At each part of my body I draw my focus inwards and observe. How does my body feel? Any pain? Hot or cold? Any sensations or things I need to be aware of? Can I use my awareness to bring control, assistance and calm to my body? I’ve found that this simple act often dials down my pain, calms my heart and breathing, and lets me work through and out the other side of whatever is going on. Thinking about pain generally is very different to feeling into it specifically. When you connect with your pain through mindfulness and being in the moment everything becomes much more manageable.
  2. I become mindful of what’s going on outside my body. Always I bring my attention back to my breath first. Then I reach outside myself with my senses. What noises can I hear? How far can I hear when I reach beyond myself? Where does that awareness take me? Is there a breeze or any other kind of weather I can detect? What animals or people can I hear? If I can see the sky I pay particular attention to that. I let myself dissolve into the world around me, so that I am at the centre and life surrounds me. (This is a brilliant technique for developing your psychic senses too!) If my eyes are open, what can I see? What can I feel? Can I feel the texture of the sheets, or the cool of the night? This brings me a sense of reconnection and belonging. I see that I am more than just my body.
  3. I become mindful of my thoughts and emotions. By now, having spent time in mindfulness of my body and surroundings I am usually calmer. I sit or lie quietly and bring my focus to my breath. Then I stay quiet and open, waiting to see what arises for me. I tune in to any thoughts or emotions – not grabbing at them but letting them float up into my awareness. When I recognise a thought or emotion I sit with it, to see what it means for me. I do this with love and compassion for myself. Often this simple act of witnessing will dispel worry and uncrowd my overactive mind. This, in turn, soothes my physical body and often enables me to return to sleep.

Once I am calm again and things have settled I might go back to bed, or stay up for a little longer and write, or perhaps stand at the window or sit on a chair and watch the slumbering world for a while.

There’s a gorgeous moon tonight, a streaky golden sky, and the air is warm and slightly salty. It feels like there will be early morning fog here in Brisbane. It’s May and I am wearing only a thin cotton nightdress. My feet are bare. It’s almost winter, but it could be a summer night.

As I stand on our balcony I see a lone black and white cat walking down the centre of our street, placing her paws very deliberately, looking warily as she patrols. A possum and her baby are creeping along the power lines and there are fruit bats crying noisily and flapping all about the fig tree across the way. A rescue helicopter flies high overhead enroute to hospital and I send them love, light and my prayers for their journey. Meanwhile, the street sleeps on…

Hopefully soon so will I.

Sending much love to you, Nicole ❤ xx