View From My Windows

2014-02-25 08.11.39

“Set wide the window. Let me drink the day.”  ~ Edith Wharton, Artemis to Actaeon and Other Verses

 

My windows are both real and figurative. The picture above is the view from my bedroom window. This view changes hour by hour, and affords me much pleasure. In the early mornings the sky is grey, before becoming silver and gold, welcoming in the day.

I can tell if it has rained or not by looking at the leaves and smelling the air. Birds constantly visit the flowers in the trees, singing and feasting and spreading their special kind of joy.

Occasionally a cow walks past on its way to water. I know this, even if I am lying down and cannot see that far, because my ever-alert ‘cow detection system’ (see image below) goes into full surveillance mode.

At night I can watch the transit of the moon as she wanders across the sky trailing stars behind her. 2014-02-24 10.13.46 There is another kind of window that is precious to me right now too. It’s the first few hours after waking.

This is my little window of ‘feel-okay’ time before I take my lyme drugs and herbs, from which I descend back into pain, confusion and suffering. It’s the time where I write, meditate, and remind myself why I am doing this. (I am doing this to kill the bugs. I am doing this to be well. And it WILL be worth it!!!)

My morning ‘window’ is the time where I can actually be present with my husband. If I have a tiny bit of zest we may even go for some kind of outing. It’s the time where my life still resembles, if only a little, normality.

Looking Out The Window by Peter Ilstead

Looking Out The Window by Peter Ilstead

There’s one last window I have come to know. It’s the one my soul looks through, watching me as I live my life. That wise part of me which knows that all of this shall pass. The part of me that is filled with love and peace.

Our lives are fragile, transitory, wondrous and beautiful things – every hurt, every hope, every moment. I’m glad for mine, even though the journey has often not been easy. The view from my windows is still magnificent.

Sending much love to you, Nicole xx

9 thoughts on “View From My Windows

  1. Oh such a beautiful post. I love all of the pictures you have posted Nicole, especially of your doggies at attention and the beautiful painting of the young woman looking out the window. Following your journey adds tremendous richness to my life. Thank you! Love, Pamela

  2. That window of wellness may it stretch like lengthening evening shadows as the sun goes lowley out of sight…much golden light your way Nicole…knock out em baddies… you doing so well..x

  3. I have been thinking about you a lot lately, Nicole, and your battle with the disease. I’ve been battling a much less severe disease but it has recently become quite debilitating and a bit scary. You are the first person I thought of yesterday when I hit a real low – I thought of how you fight it and succeed and are always grateful, and how you give so generously to others, how you make the most of every good moment and allow yourself the rest you need. Every day I look at the beautiful necklace you gave me (I can’t wear it at the moment because of my skin thing) and I think of you and send you waves of love and hope and wonder. Julie xxx

  4. WOW !!! such a powerful post… loved it… ‘cow detection system ‘ so funny . You are a brave lady we are all thinking of you . You have got me thinking just what I see from my windows . That painting is amazing .
    Cherry x

  5. What a wonderful job you are doing of pacing yourself. Thank you for including blogging in your window of opportunity before taking your meds. Big love Nx

  6. You’re amazing. So many people would happily forego blogging and use their ‘window’ for something else, not you. And thank goodness because we would all miss your posts so much. You are an inspiration and you help me put things into perspective. I was diagnosed yesterday with a nasty disease and I start horrible meds on Saturday. If I am able to be just a fraction as strong and positive as you I will be pleased as punch. Sending positive thoughts your way, keep enjoying your windows xx

Leave a Reply