“Every time you make a commitment to your own self-care, self-love and self-respect and then follow through, you build trust in yourself.”
~ Miranda J. Barrett
The difficult thing about being empathic or psychic is that most of us can’t turn it off.
Some days that’s fine. We feel strong, and we can roll with it. You know what I’m talking about. When you are well centred and emotionally strong, when your energy is high and you’re feeling great, then it is easy enough to cope with difficult situations, troubled relationships, needy people. Things roll off you. You don’t take life personally. You don’t bring it in under your skin.
But sometimes as empaths or psychics our energetic skin becomes so thin that everything affects us. Maybe we haven’t had enough sleep. Perhaps we’ve had a shock or an upset. Or we’ve simply had so long immersed in the mega-sensory space that our lives entail, that we’ve reached sensory overload.
When that happens, emergency measures are needed. We need to redefine boundaries and self-care.
Here are my top ten tips for protecting yourself from further burden, and allowing yourself to come back to balance again. I’ve learned all of this the hard way, and I know that it works.
- Don’t watch the news on television, or news clips on you-tube, facebook or other social media. Don’t listen to it on the radio. When you’re already fragile, any kind of trauma can put you over the edge.
- Avoid movies or television that portray violence, aggression, struggle or pain. You’re an open wound. You’ll take this in too, and feel and process it as though it’s your own. Turn it all off. Don’t go there.
- Don’t answer the phone. If the thought of talking to that person makes you uneasy or if you feel you need to force yourself to pick up, then don’t do it. Don’t put yourself in that position while you’re vulnerable. Speak to them when your boundaries are strong again. Now, it will only make things worse. You know it. Don’t do it.
- Avoid crowded and noisy places. You’re a raw nerve, friend. What you need is sanctuary, not stimulation.
- Turn down the invitation. Don’t go out of duty. Spend some quiet time at home. When you’re overwhelmed everything is harder. You may well put yourself further down the hole in an effort not to let others down. This time, put yourself first.
- Rest. Read a book, watch a gentle movie, spend time lying on the bed or sitting in the sun. Cuddle loved ones and pets. Nap often. Lavender essential oil on your temples, back of neck, and soles of feet,
- Sip warm tea, and eat simple warm foods. Cold and raw are harder for the body to digest. Warm soothes shock. It nurtures and comforts. If it’s furiously hot weather, drink fluids at room temperature, or sip tea anyway. A little sweetener is fine, and often helps.
- Let go of plans and commitments for a few days. Empty or reschedule your calendar. Simplify everything. You need space and time for this energy to clear, and to become strong again.
- Ground yourself. Crystals are fabulous for this, and one of my favourite is black tourmaline. Followed by rose quartz for nurture. Some good suggestions for grounding stones here.
- Epsom Salts Baths. This gets magnesium into our central nervous system fast, soothing our frazzled body and clearing our aura. Details about how to make your own epsom salts bath here.
Meditation is also a good tool for self-care. Here are some of my favourites:
- Three Minute Essential Oil Meditation – soothing
- Meditation for Connecting with Your Ancestors – helps you know you are not alone
- Taking Energy From Trees – reconnects, heals, strengthens, calms
- Eating the Sun Meditation – tops up your energetic tank, grounds and soothes
Remember, being psychic and empathic is normal! Don’t ever feel bad for being this way. Instead, learn to manage yourself and your sensitivity. Be kind to yourself.
Sending lots of love your way, <3 Nicole xoxo
Just saw this oh so helpful list…..I do most of these things already but sometimes the weight of the burdens I have chosen start to crush and with little sleep and high anxiety, I have learnt I just have to stop and shrug off some of the load…which I did yesterday…feel a bit guilty and disoriented but also feel that lightness creeping in. As one friend responded, closing one door allows another to open…and I find that an exciting thought…time to move on frog I’m saying to myself. So thank you thank you for the timely support of your wisdom…am so glad I stumbled on your blog..<3
Good advice. I did exactly this last week actually, it was just what I needed 🙂
Nicole deep thanks for sharing these wonderful tips. As a counsellor, these serve as a reminder to honour my self care process. I never watch the news because I do find it overwhelming, but I often end up hearing bits of news on the radio. Time to dig out all my peaceful CDs for the car. This list is going on my wall.
Thank you for this! As an HSPer/Empath who also practices Reiki, this is so necessary.
I watch very little news, and this once horror movie buff has had to turn it down a notch. It’s too much. I so want to turn down some family invites, but the pressure is too much, and I really need to look into these Epsom baths. I have heard about them before. Would an Epsom foot bath work as well? I have sensitive skin and showers are best.
I’ve copied all this to save. I do a lot of those things already. Found them absolutely necessary for survival. Thanks so much for taking the time to offer the help.
Thank you. I have a very good friend who is an empath. I did not understand her need for sloitude initially. This post has clarified a few more points for me. Your posts always resonate. keep well. Love and hugs. Mx
I love these. I would add:
Soft, meditative music can be extremely helpful.
Massage is very soothing in this state as well.
You are not alone Barbara. It does take time to re-adjust to a new way of living after all the calls and the visits stop. It is a strange feeling when you look around and see everyone else’s life going on… One thing I find really useful to rest my brain from greif and anxiety is sewing. and colouring in. There are some beautiful adult colouring books available now. It is so soothing to the jangled nerves. One day at a time. xx
These suggestions are exactly what I need to wake up to on a rainy Sunday morning …love em my friend .
Cherryx
Oh it’s just been a roller coaster few weeks. It’s good to read this in text. I had a few good days of remembering this, but woah, sometimes you need to be practicing this a lot longer than you initially think you need to be…There’s just a lot, a lot sometimes. All is well. Thinking I need to instill all of this for a bit longer after the way these few weeks panned out. It’s been a crazy sensitive time around here! Thank you for the reminder ❤️
It is just over a month that Barry passed and as I navigate this new unchartered , and unwelcomed territory without him physically beside me, your words of wisdom and knowing could not have come at a better time, just when I needed them the most. Yet again I feel you across the miles, and again I thank Barry for urging me to respond to your writings. Sent with love to you Nicole….
Thank You. Mx
Ok never thought of the Epsom Salts Baths, although I do like a nice hot bubble bath at the end of a busy, run of my feet day. I don’t like watching things with a lot of violence the news included yes I know there is terrible things happening in the world but I don’t need to hear about it all the bloody time, just like I don’t like to watch movies about the end of the world. When I am tense and feeling stressed to the point of cracking I don’t like to be around people and try to just stay home and do nothing
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! I feel better already! :)))
Thank you Nicole,
This is just what I needed to hear. Xxx
Perfect timing, thanks Nicole. x
Thanks Nicole – this is a very validating blog.
Thank you Nicole. <3 Much love to you too, you always seem to know the advice I need at the right time. Take care and your blogs is such a joy to read and so helpful. thank you again.
I do all of these when necessary…do you know when I most felt like that? About two years after each conception, through pregnancy and breast feeding. I couldn’t watch the news or any even mildly disturbing movies, TV shows or books. I definitely couldn’t drink coffee. I intuitively know to do these things, but it amazes me that people who are feeling fragile for whatever reason don’t think to go easy on themselves.