What it means to sit with a big question


Live the questions now.

Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.

~ Rainer Maria Rilke

Hey, Lovelies.

One of the most important gifts you can give yourself is the patience and care to sit with something that forms a big or persistent question or strong emotion/reaction inside you.

We are a modern society, used to instant gratification. Answers are at our fingertips, via the closest internet-connected device, or perhaps the opinion or advice of a friend.

But these answers won’t give you wisdom. They won’t give you understanding. And that’s what these big questions demand from us.

To sit with something is to explore it slowly, from different angles. It is about being patient, and being okay with the not-knowing. Sometimes it is about digging deeper with the help of a good therapist. Sometimes it is about asking for help from the Universe and then trusting that the way will be shown. It is about understanding that your answer may be complex, or open-ended. It’s about being okay with the fact that your quest may teach you a lot about yourself or your situation but still not deliver an answer that ties everything up with a neat bow.

When you sit with something long enough, you get to know it. You get to see the why and the how, and what it all means. You get to know yourself in a way that allows self-awareness, and that knowing brings peace and stability, and closure or expansion – depending on what it was you needed from the question that got under your skin.

When you have a question, sitting quietly with that question at the front of your mind can help. You may pull a card, or do some journalling. Perhaps you’ll go for a long swim or a bike ride, or look through old photos, or sit under a big sky or in front of an open fire.

Maybe you WILL google what is troubling you, and follow keywords down rabbit-holes. That can sometimes turn up surprisingly helpful resources if only you are open to it.

It helps to see the question or situation as an invitation to a deepening relationship with yourself and the world around you, rather than simply a problem to be solved.

Wishing you well on your journey of self-exploration,

Love, hugs, patience, sharp pencils and empty journals, Nicole xx


Hi! I'm Nicole Cody. I am a writer, psychic, metaphysical teacher and organic farmer. I love to read, cook, walk on the beach, dance in the rain and grow things. Sometimes, to entertain my cows, I dance in my gumboots. Gumboot dancing is very under-rated.
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