When You Don’t Know Who You Are Anymore

Explore yourself in silent contemplation. You will find a breathtaking person you were completely unaware about. 

Hiral Nagda

Hey, Lovelies,

I had a strong response to yesterday’s post from people who told me that they no longer know who they are, or what they want, or what they care about. Somewhere along the way, in working too hard, constantly putting the needs of others first, or being traumatised and broken down in bad relationships, they have lost touch with themselves.

And that has become yet another thing to feel bad about.

But what if you could reframe that?

We all have periods where we feel like we don’t know ourselves or what we want. It’s a normal part of growth and evolution.

Here are my top three methods for dealing with that in a positive way:

1. Get some rest. No-one can make good decisions or have any kind of clarity when they are exhausted. When we rest, it’s amazing how it rejuvenates our sense of self, our sense of possibility, and our ability to know ourselves.
2. Treat life as an adventure. Getting to know yourself and your preferences is a wonderful opportunity to explore the world around you. Dare to dream. Cultivate a sense of curiosity. Don’t take it all so seriously. Try new things. Ask people for suggestions. How can you know if you will like something or be good at it if you don’t give it a try? Life is meant to be experienced in your body, not just in your head. Vary your routine, and the things that you consume. This holds for TV shows as well as food, music and weekly shopping destinations.
3. Look back in time. Maybe you used to love horse riding, or bourbon and coke, or dancing to eighties music. Maybe you adored pointy-toed shoes, or jazz or hip hop. Did you love listening to live bands, or doing weekend art classes, or cross-stitching in front of TV? Sometimes we just stop doing things that make us happy. Look back in time for clues about that, and then commit to bringing that energy back into your life – even if it’s only to find out if you still like that thing you used to do. If you don’t like it? Well, you tried, and you can tick it off your list and move on instead of wondering…

One more thing. No-one will ever know you the way you know yourself, because only you have access to your own inner voice, and your own inner wisdom. So, don’t let other people tell you who you are, or what you should or shouldn’t like, should or shouldn’t be doing. Trust yourself, and if you don’t trust yourself yet build that trust by tuning in, trying new things, and being honest with yourself.

Life is meant to be enjoyed, not endured, and it’s over so soon. So, be a tourist in your life. Don’t get stuck in your head – get into your body and out into the world. Change things up and see what happens. You’ll be glad you did.

I’m cheering you on. Love and big hugs, Nicole xx

PS – My Journeymaker’s Planner is an AWESOME tool for getting to know yourself, and to create a more meaningful and considered life. You can get a copy at the links below. Then stay tuned because I’ll be running another free challenge early in 2022 to help you make the most of your Planner and your year:

You can buy The Journeymaker’s Planner 2022 Hard Copy at Amazon USA or ETSY.

The digital version of The Journeymaker’s Planner 2022 is available at ETSY.

Other tools to help support you on your journey include:

My limited edition and heavenly Ylang-Ylang Oil for emotional support – available at ETSY.

My limited edition gold-embossed Journeymaker’s Journal for writing and exploring with words – available at ETSY.

My limited edition NURTURE Mala for spiritual and emotional support and nurture – available at ETSY.