You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.Maya Angelou
I have something important to ask you today.
I want to ask you to stop telling yourself you’re a failure.
Life is a funny old thing. So often, it doesn’t turn out how we had hoped or planned.
There is a ridiculous amount of pressure upon us to ‘be successful’.
Our social media feeds and the news is filled with stories of people having success, of being influencers, of having it all.
That can lead to us feeling that we don’t measure up, that we have failed, that we are less worthy than others.
But did you know that so much of what you read, and what others portray is staged. It’s carefully crafted. It’s misleading.
And what is success anyway?
Your life may not make sense to you until long after it is finished.
The things you are experiencing may be just what your Soul wanted to try, or to experience or understand.
Maybe you’re here to help a friend.
Maybe you came for a simple life, or a quiet one.
Maybe all you needed to do was to be here to anchor love, just by being yourself, and living an ordinary and unassuming life.
You are enough. Just as you are. Right now.
You always were enough. You always will be enough.
You matter, simply because you exist.
And I am glad that you are here to share the journey.
If there are things your Soul longs to do, or ways you want to express yourself, then do that. Stop worrying about what other people may thing of you. Stop judging yourself. Choose to accept yourself with love and compassion, as you are, right now. You can still change if you want to, grow if you want to, but if you don’t that’s okay too, and even before you change, right now, you are enough.
I’m sending so much love your way, and I’m holding you in my prayers and meditations.
All my love, Nicole xx
8 thoughts on “Stop Telling Yourself You’re A Failure”
Ah Nicole. Just this morning I was saying to my girls that I’m working hard on forgiving my past self for not knowing what I know now, and being grateful and positive that my present self has made positive changes to improve the health of my children. Thank you for this timely reminder. ❤
I worked in the big corporate world and the truisms that stood out for me were ‘if you climb the ladder make sure it’s leaning against the right wall’ and ‘no one ever said on their deathbed that they wished they’d spent more time at the office’ .
I thought myself an under performer as my heart was always elsewhere. It took me many years before my wise husband suggested my life work was not on the outside consumer and appearance driven world but internally on the energetic realm. Shame is I have no idea how I measure this and hey all we have grown up with is measuring ourselves. It. Is. To. Control. Us!
Know that if you try to be kind and anchor love into this confused planet, you are doing great and are successful.
Beautifully said, Kate! Thank you x
That is a habit I am trying to change yes it isn’t easy but I am still trying
I remember a time when I flopped during a big presentation in grad school in front of peers, professors and industry leaders. When telling a friend my shame, he surprised me by saying, “What a great experience. If you can survive this then you can survive any speaking engagement in the future.” It changed my perspective on failure and overcoming. Thank you for sharing this important message.
Thank you for the reminder and the love
Easier said than done.
Hi Caroline. When I have been in that place I found that what helped me was to focus on two things. The first was the things that I knew were still true about me. I was kind. I could cook. I had a few people who loved me and to whom I mattered. The second thing I focused on what how short and unpredictable a human life can be, and that across centuries people like me had lived and died, and were then forgotten by future generations. It gave me a bigger sense of freedom and allowed me to more deeply appreciate the beauty of the natural world and to take comfort in my ability to witness that world, and to think more deeply about life while seeing my own physical self as valuable but transitory. I am a soul in a human body. Everything is just experience. I have lived before and I will live again, and these things I might think of as failure are simply experiences, from which I can explore thoughts and feelings that arise within myself.
We spend so much time judging ourselves and beating ourselves up. Is it possible for you to pivot your thoughts, and to see the value in your life as it is now? What to you is success? Do you have that in any area of your life? Is there any small thing for which you can be grateful? Can you find a new perspective for yourself as a soul in a human body?
I’m sending you so much love, thanks for your comment and for being part of my community xx