Have you ever heard the wonderful silence just before the dawn? Or the quiet and calm just as a storm ends? Or perhaps you know the silence when you haven’t the answer to a question you’ve been asked, or the hush of a country road at night, or the expectant pause of a room full of people when someone is just about to speak, or, most beautiful of all, the moment after the door closes and you’re alone in the whole house? Each one is different, you know, and all very beautiful if you listen carefully.
Today is my birthday. 55. A satisfying number.
A grey day will suit me well. Misty rain and cloud, a brooding overcast, a storm.
Or, it can shine. Bowl of blue sky above me, the roar of surf and seagulls, birdsong in the bright forest that surrounds my home.
Any kind of weather will be fine, but what I long for most today is quiet.
The kind of quiet where I don’t need to speak, to answer questions, to attend to others, to be engaged with conversations and emotions and people.
It’s nothing personal. I love connection. But silence is such a gift. Quiet is so nurturing and comforting and satisfying. All I want to do right now is sink into that quiet and just be. I want to dwell today in the kind of silence where you can sit with your dogs or your beloved and no words need to be spoken. The kind of quiet that is filled with space and love and ease.
The kind of quiet best suited to contemplation, deep thinking and deep emotion.
That’s what I want today.
And maybe tomorrow too.
Anything else? Yes. Perhaps a tasty snack, or some soup. Good cake. A picnic – at home or out in nature if the weather is kind – but I’ll let the day show me what will work best. No preconceptions, no mad organisation of events, just a gentle day of flow and ease.
Oh, that sounds like the perfect gift to myself.
Much love, Nicole xx