
“You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.”
~ Morpheus, The Matrix
I have teetered between unwell and totally incapacitated for my entire adult life. And in all that time I’ve been searching for a solution.
I’ve ended up entertaining two enduring fantasies for the past ten years, both of them so deliciously appealing that I have run them over and over in my imagination, making them as tangible as possible.
The first is that I would find a genius diagnostic doctor like Dr Gregory House, the TV character who could get to the bottom of any medical mystery and create a decent clinical diagnosis and treatment path. This brilliant doctor would finally be the one to work out what was wrong with me.
The second is that I would find a magical pill that would miraculously cure me.
In the last year I’ve been blessed to have two doctors come into my life who’ve been able to give me that diagnosis. And I’ve ended up with magical pills that are returning me to health.
Once upon a time I thought my little fantasy was just a crazy feel-good distraction. But as I kept on dreaming it, it eventually started coming true. A doctor. A diagnosis. A magical pill. Me – well again.
After my visit with my Lyme Doctor yesterday I KNOW it’s not a fantasy. I’m on the path back to wellness, and I’m excited at the possibilities that lie ahead.
Don’t ever stop dreaming. You truly have no way of knowing how things might turn out. Sometimes that crazy idea you entertain on the darkest of nights turns out to be the truth that lights up your days.
Much love to you, Nicole xx

Hi, I’m new to your blog, story. It hits home for me. I don’t have Lyme but many autoimmune illnesses from what the drs THINK. im still after 12+ yrs searching for diagnosises. My life, my body is far from what it was, and what I want it to be. I also am empath, psychic etc.
I’m now noticed this post was 2013. I am hopeful -for you- that all has improved greatly.
I’ve been there, accused of Dr hopping. Accused of medication searching etc.
When all I wish for is to be pain free, more energetic and my life back.
I can say reading many of your articles, I’ve realized I have thought and spoke wrong words- complaining mostly. Being so tired of all of these physical problems and all of my limitations. I do have a magnificent husband -married almost 2 yrs ago. I’m very grateful we were lead to each other.
I’m not sure why I’m commenting , except for the fact that your story hit home for me.
My eyes are opened, thanks to you. I need to manifest, visualize what I want and need for my body, my life, my true desires are, instead of always seeing the horrendous pain, the illnesses, limitations.
I thank you for sharing your story.
You are an inspiration.
I wish the best for you.
Dearest Nicole,
I am so glad and happy to hear that progress is being made! Hooray! And many big hugs on the continuing recovery!
Fantastic news. Keep on getting better
FREEDOM XXXX
Cherry
I am so excited for you. How magical to be well and be able to live life without that ugly Lyme thing. Possibilities are endless no? Love and caring and a big hug.
Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So very glad to hear this!..Must return Louis Carrol.
I wanted to believe you would be well and you are now on the road to recovery. I felt that you would somehow reach your goal despite all the trials and tribulations. I’m awaiting your ultra magnificence when you fully arrive.
My very best wishes to you.
Also, I went to a workshop recently and one of the amusing things that was mentioned was to make one totally unreasonable request at least once a day!!! You never know what could happen.
Wonderful to hear! Love the Lewis Carroll quote. 🙂 “…six impossible things before breakfast.”
I just read the wonderful news! Somehow it made me cry with joy. I am so happy for you.
Can’t imagine what your feeling inside! Much love and blessings. Xxxx
Nicole am quietly utterly delighted for you, utterly and absoloutely….what wonderful news for you..indeed the seemingly impossible has become possible…health again ..wow just wow..major huge and all embracing hug to you..actually maybe thats too rough cant be crushing you..firm and gentle hug instead ..much love and huge smiles.you deserve this if anyone does….xxx
Nicole’s 10-year dream + young doctor’s 10-year plan = a union made in medical heaven, one with ups and downs but sustainable across the Lyme journey, invoking wellness and happiness as the eventual goal. Wow Nicole your story certainly proves that no matter how long it takes, visualising what you want really does work. Today you are the Queen to all those little Alice’s who won’t try because it may not be possible. Thank you for sharing your thrilling piece of news – congratulations! And thank you for sharing such a potent quote.
My heart fills with such joy as reading this. I’m sure the rollercoaster is still there but we all know you will get through this and embrace true wellness and vitality (sooner than later!). Much love, and yay! xoxox
oh good!
That’s fantastic news. After all the ups and downs, you deserve a good diagnosis. xxx
Nicole my cells are so happy for your cells that are bringing your dreams true. So exciting and yes to visualising and staying positive. You are such an inspiration
All my love
Suzie xxoo
Hip Hip Hip HOORAY for believing in the impossible, Nicole. And for spreading the *magic* all around you. LOVE you xox