Does Planning Your Future Press All The Wrong Buttons In You?

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“Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.”
~ Salvador Dalí

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.”
~ Maya Angelou

 

2016 is right on our doorstep.

For many people it’s a time of review. For some it’s a time of making New Year’s resolutions. And some of us are working with my Year of ME Planner – 2016.

Reviewing and planning your life – it sounds exciting, doesn’t it?

Except when it’s not.

I have always maintained that self work is some of the hardest work you can do. It’s easy to go through life busy – getting up every day tired, going to work or school, coming home to eat and watch a screen and then fall into bed. Repeat x 365. With the exception of holidays and Christmas. Busy numbs you. Routine numbs you. You don’t even have to think. Life becomes a series of multiple choice questions with the answers all there in front of you. Or we can let life drive us and carry us along.

Self-work wakes you up. Self work makes you examine your life. Who are you? What do you want? In what direction do you want your life to go?

When we begin to ask ourselves those questions it can be hard to truly see and own the choices (or lack of choices) we have made thus far.

It can be incredibly confronting to stand at the centre of our life and realise that we no longer know what makes us happy. Or worse, that we have become so disconnected from ourselves and from Spirit that we feel like we have only emptiness when we ask ourselves the big questions.

Image from www.theawsc.com

Image from www.theawsc.com

And there’s one other elephant that often creeps into the room when we do start to give ourselves permission to plan and dream and consciously create our lives.

That would be the elephant of Unworthiness.

That feeling where all our fear kicks in. All our self-doubt. The voice in our head, which is effectively silenced by hard work, routine, illness or fatigue, starts whispering and then shouting…

Not good enough

Too fat

No money

Too sick

Too old

Too stupid

Too late

I’ll fail

I don’t deserve it

It’s impossible

and all manner of other unhelpful things. All the old fears rush in. Plus a few new ones. Often that voice gets so loud that all we want to do is put down our Planner (Did I mention that I have an awesome Planner to really help you live consciously in 2016? 🙂 ) and go back to the numbness of the life we lived before.

You’ll know if that’s you.

You’ll move into a place of resistance. Of procrastination. Of crankiness even.

Excellent!

That’s always a positive sign that those buttons are being pushed in you because you are moving out of stuckness (where it’s safe) and back into the flow of life again.

I’d urge you to keep going with planning and dreaming and manifesting through your intention.

I know some of you will now counter that with, ‘But Nicole, you don’t understand! I’m sick. I have no money. No-one is helping me. My life sucks. How can I plan a better life when I am not even coping with my day? That’s so unrealistic – to dream of an ideal life, or even a better life, when were I am currently sucks so much.’

Image from www.buzzfeed.com

Image from www.buzzfeed.com

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

Remind yourself that self work is the hardest work you can do. Encourage yourself. Be gentle with yourself. Treat yourself kindly, like you would a small cranky, frightened child.

Know that sometimes this work needs time to flow. Stick with it. Work in small bites. You can always write a little bit down and then come back to your dreams and your life plan and add more later. Let it be an adventure in knowing yourself, rather than an awful chore that needs to be perfect or ‘done right’.

And most importantly?

NEVER LET YOUR CURRENT CIRCUMSTANCES DICTATE YOUR FUTURE REALITY.

Imagination is a powerful force, and just like when you were a child, you can go into your imagination and create without limitation. Thoughts become things. Change is always possible.

Back in 2000, shortly after I was married, I became so sick from undiagnosed lyme that my husband was advised to put me into a nursing home. I had lesions on my brain. My cognitive ability was shot. I couldn’t walk, think clearly, or function in daily life. It was predicted that within six months I would be a drooling mess, and that within a few short years I would be dead.

But I still had my imagination, and my ability to dream.

I’m sure that’s what got me through.

And every single thing (bar one – having kids), on my list of dreams and seemingly impossible goals from that time in my life has now come true, even though at the time I was sick, had no money, life truly sucked, and I didn’t know HOW it would ever change.

Life is a great big adventure, and we never truly know how it will unfold for us. But thinking and dreaming is still free, and there is powerful magic in those two acts. Don’t give up on yourself!

2016 is almost here. It’s a whole book of blank pages for us to fill. Don’t let that be terrifying. Your imagination is a giant crayon box jam-packed with colour and possibility, longing to be let loose on those blank pages.

Dare to truly think. Dare to give yourself permission to imagine. Dare to dream.

Image from desicomments.com

Image from desicomments.com

Want some help and support for your journey?

We’d love you to be a part of our Year of ME Planner – 2016 community. Come join us, and make 2016 a year of supported and nourished growth.

Much love to you,

Nicole xx

 

11 thoughts on “Does Planning Your Future Press All The Wrong Buttons In You?

  1. But you have your children. Your fur babies. Just because you haven’t pushed another human into this world doesn’t mean you haven’t produced. You are creating life through your blogs, your recipes, your planner and your books, to name but a few. Please continue with all of these.
    Thank you.

    • What is it with people making me cry today? You’re right, of course. And I’m blessed to have my husband and fur babies and so many children in my life, and people I can nurture and mother, even though I did not give birth to them. Thank you. So much. Thank you xoxo

      • You have given ME so much hope, joy, thoughts and pleasure. Didn’t mean to make you cry. Just wanted you to know how much support you have given others

  2. Wow Nicole – how did you just reduce me to tears? :-}
    It wasn’t your story and struggle (poignant and inspiring that it is) that cracked the ice, I just now had an overwhelming image of myself as something extraordinary – shoved and stuffed into a little box of conformity.

  3. Beautifully written, and thank goodness you dared to dream!

    I’m grateful for the ideal place of health you’ve journeyed to right now, because it is allowing you to guide many of us to reach out for our own dreams that have been swirling around us.

    Yes, some of the preliminary exercises have been challenging for me, but the support you have given to us via the group has been so valuable, that I’m feeling more comfortable with owning up to my stuff.

    Also being a geriatric, I’ve found it refreshing to be around the vitality of the younger members of the group. Plus there is a feeling of being nurtured, as well.

    I’m amazed at how much clearer a picture I now have going into 2016 as to the evolvement of my aspirations; I’m excited with how the planner will keep me on track because I know without it and the group I would probably give them up by Valentine’s Day.

    Good job, Nicole, and thank you ❤ 🙂

  4. I am late in replying, as I have been to the coast for a beautiful swim – a Lucky Dip :). Thank you for all your nurturing, support and help over the years. I would not be in the place that I am without that prompting and prodding. Have a wonderful night and many happy new years to come. xxxxx

  5. “It can be incredibly confronting to stand at the centre of our life and realise that we no longer know what makes us happy. Or worse, that we have become so disconnected from ourselves and from Spirit that we feel like we have only emptiness when we ask ourselves the big questions.” These statements made me sit up and take notice. I am NOT unhappy. Fairly content but not sure where I’m going. I keep telling Spirit I’m feeling quite lost so hopefully this planner will get me back on track. After being in survival mode most of my life, making a decision on where I think I might want to go is a gargantuan undertaking. I guess I’ll practice eating elephants. One bite at a time and see where it leads me.

  6. Pingback: Friday Round – Up |

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