“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.”
~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I have some friends going through hard times in relationships right now. They are wondering how they ended up where they are – with a lover who cheats, with a husband who suddenly wants out, with a boss who keeps lying.
When I’ve talked with them they’ve been hurt, distressed and devastated at what has happened.
Then they’ve asked the questions.
Why did this happen?
How did this happen?
Why did I not see this coming?
And the truth is, a wise part of them did see it coming. A wise part of them already knew. So, where did it all go so wrong?
Instinct and Intuition
All of us have intuition, and instinct. This force within us operates with a vast amount of information – not just our conscious awareness.
When I pressed my friends, eventually all of them admitted that there had been things in their relationship, from early on, that made them uncomfortable. Or there was a point where things began to change. And that point was a long way from where they are now.
In each situation, my friends had intuitively picked up on an energy or behaviour that was out of flow, out of truth – either with the way the person was presenting themselves within the relationship, or with my friend’s values and beliefs. My friends’ intuition had red-flagged something, using those feelings of discomfort and that instinctive knowledge to bring the situation to their conscious attention.
So why didn’t my friends allow themselves to be guided by that intuition? Quite simply, their mind got in the way. They discounted or second-guessed or validated that discomfort away. They saw what they wanted to see, or needed to see, rather than what was. They gave second chances, chose to believe what they were told, and shoved that discomfort back down where it no longer bothered them.
Haven’t you done that before?
I know I have.
But that’s okay. Intuition is not a one time thing. Our internal wisdom will connect with us over and over again. Our job is to listen, and to pay attention. To give ourselves space to think things through and to honour these feelings and ideas that arise from deep inside us.
Intuition Put To Good Use
Of course, intuition doesn’t simply show us what’s wrong. It can also show us what’s good. We have a compulsion to introduce ourselves to someone at a party. Things blossom into a beautiful relationship.
Suddenly it seems like we can’t stop thinking about a business idea, or studying again. When we are brave enough to honour that instinctive direction we find ourselves loving the changes we have made. They feel so right for us.
We come to an awareness, without evidence or proof, that maybe the aloof girl or guy in the office is just shy, and when we make an effort to get to know them we find out that we were right.
Intuition says, Hey – let’s drive down this street for no apparent reason – come on, humour me! And there you find your dream house, or the shop with the thing you want, or an old college friend walking their dog, the same friend whose address you lost years ago and who you’d had no idea how to track down.
Intuition and instinct show us where we are out of flow with the Universe, and also how to get back into flow again, with relationships and actions that support our Highest Good.
So the big question is – are you honouring your intuition? Or are you second-guessing yourself?
Maybe it’s time you started paying attention, and trusting what comes up for you.
If you’re not sure how to do that, these posts will help:
Using Your Internal Compass to Navigate Life
Understanding Intuition and Gut Instinct
Come Join Us!
I’d like to extend an invitation to you to come join me inside my free online community. I’ve created a private Facebook group so we can come together to share our spiritual journey, and where I can better support you to grow your intuitive abilities and begin to feel more comfortable with managing yourself and thriving as a sensitive, empathic, intuitive or psychic soul. There are free online study units you can access, and regular live on-line events. I’m also planning some big group meditations and Lightworker activities for you to join in with, if it feels right for you.
This group is a place for all spiritual journeymakers to hang out, to share experiences, to have a safe and supportive community, and to send energy and light out into the world.
Click this link to join:
It’s only a new group, but already we have a wonderful sense of community and support. I know you’ll fit right in.
All my love, Nicole xx
3 thoughts on “Using Intuition In Relationships”
Love this! Thanks for sharing 🙏🏼
In invalidated myself and ended up in a big mess. It has taken 20 years to start to see and believe a recovery is possible. Just typing this makes me tearful.
I always trust my intution or as I would say my gut. I feel more people need to trust their gut feeling