Even in times of trauma, we try to maintain a sense of normality until we no longer can. That, my friends, is called surviving. Not healing. We never become whole again … we are survivors. If you are here today… you are a survivor. But those of us who have made it thru hell and are still standing? We bear a different name: warriors.Lori Goodwin
Today I want to honour a friend. She’s a Californian doctor who is currently working as part of the USA COVID response. Back last year she volunteered to go to New York, to help that city with the first wave of COVID. It was hard, brutal work. A baptism of fire. Eventually things settled down, and she flew back home.
When COVID numbers began increasing in her home state she helped set up and run a COVID response there. To do this she moved out of her home, where her elderly mother and immune-compromised young adult daughter live, so that she could not infect them. As numbers of COVID patients swelled she worked in a field hospital. She was exhausted, ground down, and they began running low on beds and supplies. Then she got sick with COVID. She is certain she got sick out in the community. She had hoped to manage the condition herself, but ended up needing emergency hospitalisation.
My friend survived intubation, and then went to rehab. She needed help with swallowing, balance and range of motion. She also suffered some cognitive issues. Eventually she was well enough to go home. Eventually she went back to work, and ultimately she went back to the COVID field hospital, to stand by her battle-weary colleagues.
We talked last night.
She spent a lot of time crying. Sobbing. She’s stretched beyond exhaustion, but so are her co-workers. She’s been abused in the street for wearing a face mask. Someone spat on her a few days ago for wearing her mask in public. She laughed as she told me that in quiet moments, for levity, she and her team pretend to walk like zombies, because they are so close to being zombies. It’s something that still helps them raise a smile, or at least helps them acknowledge their true feelings. She told me she knows she’s dissociative, she’s sure she and her team have PTSD, but somehow they all find a way to keep turning up for their shifts.
My friend has lost several family members and friends to COVID. She’s lost hundreds of patients. Hundreds. Maybe thousands on her watch. So many, every day. They regularly run low on oxygen and body bags and other essential equipment. Bodies are stacked in refrigerated trucks. The crematoriums are working overtime now LA has amended the air quality regulations to allow for the backlog of bodies to be burned. She told me she can’t believe that after she left New York last year she thought that maybe the worst was behind her.
She worries for her mother. She worries for her daughter. She still can’t go home. She worries for her co-workers, many of whom are struggling, some of whom now how have long COVID and can no longer work, some of whom have walked away, some of whom took their own lives.
So, we talked together. We cried together. We meditated together and prayed together.
She told me one of the few things that brings her comfort is that within my Planner is a meditation practice where we send love and golden light to one another, and each time she struggles she stops and tunes in to feel that love and support from strangers who are wishing her well. It’s what helps her get to sleep at night.
I told my friend to call me any time. Any time. Because I worry about her. And I told her to keep tuning in to that energy we are sending.
There are so many silent warriors like my friend somehow finding it within them to get up and get going each day. To help us, to treat us, to nurse us, to support us. It’s a brutal and largely thankless task. A task so many of us take for granted. We just assume that all of those services and responders will be there if and when we need them.
So, I’m asking you, dear readers, please consider using my evening meditation ritual to help people like my friend. It’s a simple ritual. You need only a crystal and your own good intentions. It’s easy to do, and it will support you too.
I’ll include the ritual here for you, from the pages of my planner:
It’s a ritual I do daily. I find it a comfort that’s hard to put into words. It gives me a sense of connection, safety and belonging.
If you’d like more support for your own journey, or to develop your skills as a Lightworker, please consider purchasing my Planner, or joining my online community. The details are here:
Amazon USA (sold out but we’ll have new stock arriving soon)
Amazon Australia (for Australian sales only)
ETSY (worldwide – I pack and post them myself, and include a personal note, and we also have beautiful meditation malas and crystals in the Etsy store too!)
You can always join my free online Facebook community here too.
All my love, Nicole xx
PS – Yep, I just saw that typo in the Planner copy, the one that somehow defied all of our extensive proofreading. Kinda obvious now it’s all blown up here on the page. Oh well. That’s okay. Things don’t need to be perfect. We don’t need to be perfect. What matters is our intentions, and that we tried our best. That’s true for us all. (((HUGS)))