“Don’t sacrifice yourself too much, because if you sacrifice too much there’s nothing else you can give and nobody will care for you.”
~ Karl Lagerfeld
Hello, my lovelies!
I was reminded of something powerful yesterday, while attending this three-day professional development conference with Ben.
I know you’ll understand because it’s something that almost all intuitives and empaths have in common – we are polite to a fault, and we are so aware of the feelings and emotional states of other people that we put huge amounts of energy into making sure that others are okay.
Which is great. To a point. But sometimes in the caring for others and being attuned to their needs we neglect our own.
Let me give you an example.
I always make it a practice to talk to new people at events like these, and yesterday I struck up a conversation with a quiet and shy-looking woman near the coffee station.
I introduced myself, and then asked her how she was enjoying the day.
Out flooded a torrent of negativity. She was only here because her husband made her come. They’d travelled from Melbourne. She’d never been to Brisbane. She had no time in her life for anything like this. She hated her job. The traffic was terrible where she lived. She never got time for herself. And on it went.
On and on and on.
I’m sure many of you have found yourself in a similar situation, stuck in a corner with some negative Nellie at a family function or a work party or a gig you attended where you’d really wanted to enjoy yourself.
I’ve set myself a goal of finding a few people to mastermind with over this weekend. The only time we get to meet is in the breaks, and this woman was not someone I wanted to hang out with.
Normally polite Nicole would stay, listen, be empathetic and kind and reassuring. But then I’m not meeting my own needs, I’d be putting hers first. And this woman was dragging my energy down so fast it was like I’d been shot and was leaking life force all over the floor.
As soon as she drew breath I smiled. ‘I hope you can find something positive from the weekend. And if it all gets too much we’re surrounded by great shops and restaurants, so you could go exploring instead. Have a great day!’ After which I got myself out of there fast.
I honoured my own needs. I found some other people to talk with and soon I was enjoying myself again; learning, engaging and growing through more positive conversations.
This weekend will you be like that poor woman, doing something you don’t want to do or being someplace you don’t want to be? (I’ve been in her shoes – haven’t you!) How much better it would have been for her if she’d said no, or found a way to honour her own interests and needs while still supporting her man. Or if she’d found a way to make the most of her experience, even if it wasn’t her first choice. Being open-minded can open us up to extraordinary synchronicities and miracles.
If she’d stayed open-minded and it still sucked for her, there was a world waiting just outside the door. A city she’d never travelled to, and three days to fill!
How about you?
Can you say no this weekend? No to the things that you don’t want.
Can you say yes this weekend? Yes to the things that fulfil you and meet your own needs?
Can you walk away from situations that suck all the joy out of you, and put your own needs front at centre, or at least make them as important as everyone else’s?
I promise that the act of acknowledging what you want and making space for it starts a quiet revolution in your life. One that may well make you a much more happy and fulfilled person.
Wishing you a weekend filled with just what you need!
Biggest love and hugs, Nicole ❤ xx
PS – That unhappy woman would really benefit from attending my upcoming Pop Up Shop and Events. At our Channelling and Guided Meditation Evening we’ll be discussing all kinds of ways to uplift, nurture and heal ourselves, and how to better manage anxiety and depression. Learning a foundation of spiritual practices at my Saturday workshop would give her a framework for self-awareness and a whole toolkit of methods for exploring who she is, what she needs and what life direction will make her soul sing At my Sunday workshop she could craft a meditation mala and then learn how to use it. With that mala around her neck she’d feel comforted and reassured, and she’d have a tool at her fingertips for affirmation, meditation, co-creation and transformation. My events run over the weekend of May 25-27 here in Brisbane, Australia. No matter what level you’re at I’ll have something for you on my program and a beautiful selection of spiritual tools, crystals, singing bowls, jewellery, prayer shawls and more in my shop. More details here!
Dearest Nicole,
Catching up through the last week’s blog cos it was a tough week, but somehow go through with a cut and a bruise. Whilst asking the Divine mother for guidance , I come.across this-
“I promise that the act of acknowledging what you want and making space for it starts a quiet revolution in your life. One that may well make you a much more happy and fulfilled person.”
Much needed to hear this my sister, much needed… 🙂
Lots of love and hugs
Biggest hugs right back to you, Prathibha. Wishing you a wonderful and profound quiet revolution! xoxo
Thank you Nicole,
I have been in this situation before and suffered through it. Now I know how I will handle it. Jen
Suffering doesn’t serve anyone! Big hugs to you xx
Nice job getting yourself out of that negativity before it penetrated your spirit. :0)
Thanks, Kristen. I ran into the same woman late yesterday on the last day of the conference, and she thanked me for suggesting she could get out and about. She’d bought a new pair of shoes, t-shirts for their grandchildren, explored South Bank and actually enjoyed some of the speakers. Both she and her hubby were happy. Awesome!