What I did after Retreat

“How much better is silence; the coffee cup, the table. How much better to sit by myself like the solitary sea-bird that opens its wings on the stake. Let me sit here for ever with bare things, this coffee cup, this knife, this fork, things in themselves, myself being myself.” 
Virginia Woolf

It was a big Retreat for me, this week that has just gone. Big pre-retreat prep. A big group. Big learnings. Big shifts. Big inner work.

All the while I held space. I worked hard twice a day before and after our coursework as I held the group in meditation, keeping their energy true as we moved deeper into shamanic practice. I was completely present for my students except when I was asleep or in the bathroom (the two times I asked for my privacy to be respected!).

I loved every minute of it, but it was intense and it demanded everything of me and then some. Still, what kind of teacher would I be if I didn’t give my all for my calling?

So, when Retreat ended I slept.

The first night I slept 12 hours straight through.

The next two days I moved between sleep, necessary duties and back to sleep again. I had no time for chatting. No energy for engagement.

All I longed for was solitude and nature. So that is what I gave myself, to the best of my ability.

Not only do I love this chair, and the view, I love the one fluffy cloud on the entire horizon, into which I poured all of my thoughts so that I sat empty, quiet and peaceful as I looked out over the ocean once the last person had left Retreat and I was alone.

Now I am feeling more myself, still tired but no longer exhausted. Still tired but ready to re-engage.

It is wonderful to have something in my life that I can give myself to completely. And the feeling of being fully used up at the end of my retreat was a good, good feeling. I had nothing left, and that was as it should be.

Today I am alert again. Ben and I are meeting a dear friend for coffee and an early breakfast and then I’ll ease myself back into life.

Wishing you all a wonderful weekend, and time for yourself and your own recharging,

Much love, Nicole ❤ xx

 

Hi! I'm Nicole Cody. I am a writer, psychic, metaphysical teacher and organic farmer. I love to read, cook, walk on the beach, dance in the rain and grow things. Sometimes, to entertain my cows, I dance in my gumboots. Gumboot dancing is very under-rated.
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