“But I know, somehow, that only when it is dark enough can you see the stars.”
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
I was working with a client a few days ago, and the topic rolled around to suicide.
She had been suicidal once, at a truly difficult time in her life. With therapy and support her life has now moved beyond the worst of the pain and back to a place of balance. But there is no-one to talk with about what happened, she said, now that she no longer pays a therapist to listen. And she worries people will think she is still in that space if she tries to talk about it with friends or family.
‘I understand,’ I said to her.
‘How could you?’ she answered crossly. ‘Only people who’ve been there understand. I mean REALLY understand.’
‘I can feel into your body, and step inside you where you met that pain head-on. So yes, I can understand it from inside you – as a psychic,’ I said, ‘but I also understand. Me. I understand.’ I said those last words more slowly this time, weighting each one.
‘No way,’ she said. ‘You? I don’t believe it.’ She looked genuinely shocked.
‘It’s true.’ I looked her in the eye. ‘I have stood in that place twice, and both times it was unexpected. Each place was a different planet I hope never to go back to. Both times I found a solution that ultimately kept me here. And you’re right. No-one ever talks about this stuff.’
We were out of time, and this was about me now, not about her.
‘Maybe you could blog about it,’ she said to me as we finished up. ‘I would have found that useful, to have known someone like you could have had feelings like me. I mean, I was so f*cked up and broken and ashamed…’ She paused. ‘To have read that, to read that now, would still be helpful. So, could you?’
What do you think, dear Tribe? I’ve written about being psychic and being incontinent and all other manner of personal over-sharing. Should I break this taboo too?
I’ll be guided by you.
Much love, Nicole xx