“Friendship plants itself as a small unobtrusive seed; over time, it grows thick roots that wrap around your heart. When a love affair ends, the tree is torn out quickly, the operation painful but clean. Friendship withers quietly, there is always hope of revival. Only after time has passed do you recognise that it is dead, and you are left, for years afterwards, pulling dry brown fibres from your chest.”Anna Lyndsey
My inbox is jammed right now with messages from people in deep pain as longstanding friendships and love relationships end for no obvious reason.
Maybe you’ve been experiencing a little of that too?
We’re all intuitive here, or empathic, or highly sensitive, or aligned with those energies in some way. Right? So, there is something we need to talk about, and that thing is relationships ending – dramatically or silently – when you go through a vibrational shift. It’s a been a hallmark of every single spiritual or psychic awakening I’ve seen. It always accompanies big energetic changes. And in the midst of the turbulence of your shift, the loss of friendships and close relationships can be devastating.
One of the consequences of soul growth is that our vibration changes. What was a vibrational match for us before slowly (or quickly) falls out of alignment. We might notice it. Or the other person might. And then someone will pull away, end things or disappear entirely without ever telling you why. Doors close. Maybe no new door opens.
There you find yourself. Alone.
Alone, and nothing really working for you the way it did before.
When I went through my own psychic awakening twenty-five years ago, my marriage ended suddenly when my partner had an affair. I lost not only my husband, but his family, whom I loved. At the same time so many friendships ended, and relationships with certain friends or family changed in ways where they were never able to go back to how they were before. There were deaths among family and friends. A career ended. And the hits just kept on coming…
All of that pain and loss forced me inwards. The space it left in my life allowed me to dive deeply into my own spiritual journey, and I emerged from that time alone a different person. That painful time was so very hard, but it has also provided the circumstances for me to move in new directions, to find my soul mate, and to life a life more truly aligned with my soul’s calling.
I’m sorry if you find yourself in that hard place of people and old life falling away right now. I won’t lie. It will hurt. It might hurt for a very long time.
Don’t think about that.
Thinking about it will destroy you, and it serves no purpose. Grieve. Let yourself feel all of your feelings. Then, when you begin to be less numb, less tired, less shattered, focus on what you can do. Turn inwards. Be a friend to yourself. Learn. Grow. Evolve. Create. On your own.
I promise that the path will open out again, and new people, new love and new opportunities will come. But first there is the emptiness, the pain, and the adapting to this quieter space.
Don’t try and understand it. Don’t waste time trying to work out what you did wrong or how to make things better. Instead, I advise you to double down and repair your relationship with yourself. Work out where you have been out of alignment with your soul’s energy and focus on being comfortable in your own company. Use this time to heal, learn and grow. I promise that the person you become, and the path that awaits you, will be worth it.
Holding you in my prayers and meditations, Nicole xx
PS – If you find yourself in this place of change, loss and spiritual awakening, come join us in my Journeymaker Circle membership. You’ll be supported by a loving community, and have access to the kinds of resources and teachings that will help you realign, reconnect, heal and grow. We’re here for you! More details here
One thought on “When Friends And Lovers Fall Away…”
Oh Nicole, as always you intuitively say things that need to be said at the right time. It has been 5 months since a dear friend of 40 yrs, ended our friendship. Yesterday i experienced severe cramping pains in my stomach and the violent vomiting. I went to hospital where they checked me out including an ECG. Everything was fine. They said that maybe it could be gallstones. I don’t think so. It is gone today but I have a cold feeling in my chest. I think it is unexpressed grief. Thank you for today’s post. I know I will get back in flow as it is starting to happen from yesterday. Much love to you. You do a great work of love. XX