“Put down everything that comes into your head and then you’re a writer. But an author is one who can judge his own stuff’s worth, without pity, and destroy most of it.”
~ Colette, Casual Chance, 1964
I’m deep into the editing process for my memoir right now. It’s a strange process, crafting your own story.
The only way that I can do it successfully is to become fully immersed in the story. It’s no good to do a bit here, and a bit there. It takes time for me to get into that place of flow, so it’s easier to simply sink down into it and keep going. That means no socialising, no work, no phone calls or facebook or being on tap for others. Right now I need to be front and centre for myself.
I’d thought that at this stage of the rewrite I would be a manuscript surgeon. Objective, detached, interested only in the problems and the process of rectification or amputation. But it’s not like that at all. To write my life, I have been walking that road in my mind. I have to put myself there, so that all becomes real again. Now, again.
I must admit I’ve been struggling too, with style. I have some literary bits, some introspective bits. Especially near the front of the book. You know, trying to craft an impressive beginning and all that… As I read over it, the words didn’t flow the way I wanted them to. I wasn’t sure what to do. Then Rosie wrote a comment on my blog;
Nicole, you couldn’t write crap if you tried! You go girl and write as you do here. Your following on this blog should tell you that we love the way you write. Hugs and crystal sparkles (you know which crystal!) xxx
A lightbulb came on for me. I stopped writing for imaginary judges and agents and publishers. I started writing for you, dear readers. Just like I would write any blog post. Just the way I’d tell you any of my stories.
Oh my goodness, Rosie! A thousand hugs, a box of chocolates, a big sloppy kiss. You’re a genius, woman!!!
I’m recrafting my beginning as though I was writing my blog. Telling it all the way it happened, with the usual out-falling of emotion and honest confession.
I guess that after one thousand odd posts here on Cauldrons and Cupcakes I’ve found my voice after all. Who’d have thought?
Thank you, lovelies. You are all much more a part of this unfolding story than you or I could ever have imagined. Bless <3 xx