We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection. Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.
Brené Brown
Hey, Lovelies.
It had to happen.
I received the mother of all vitriolic attacks yesterday, in response to my post about having had my first COVID vaccine.
The person who abused me is a natural health practitioner, someone I saw for years, someone I once referred others to. They helped me in areas where I was struggling with mainstream medicine. I didn’t get a cure, no matter that I followed all of their directives diligently. But it did help alleviate some of my symptoms, and for that I was very grateful. They helped me at a time when modern medicine had nothing to offer. Let me state right here that I am a big believer in complimentary medicine and have used many modalities, wholistic, alternative and intuitive practitioners for years, and still do. I have the utmost respect and regard for so many of the practitioners in this space, and their dedication to their craft.
The person who abused me? Like anyone, we have always agreed on some things, and not on others. That’s okay. You can still have a deep friendship, a deep respect, a deep connection with someone who holds differing views. That’s healthy. That’s normal. We don’t have to agree on everything. But I had always believed that we could have a discussion, and choose to differ, and that to listen to each other and to respect each other’s viewpoint would be enough.
I appreciate intelligent discussions. They challenge me. As I consider other points of view I have often come to change my own, and to develop or expand my understanding of something. You talk. You think. You ask questions and ponder on what is being shared. It’s the basis for connection, and for growth.
When did this stop being how two people communicate?
I blocked this person yesterday, because their stream of abuse was angry, intimidating, full of hatred and rhetoric, and deeply distressing to me. It was the messenger equivalent of yelling in my face, their blobs of spittle landing on me, their chest heaving in righteous indignation, fists raised. The level of fury directed at me was off the charts.
When I blocked them on Facebook, they carried on abusing me from their business profile. And then by text to my phone.
Their vile abuse was out of character, and it left me deeply shaken.
Did I mention that this person is a respected natural therapist and teacher?
If this was a health professional I would have been within my rights to report them to their regulatory body. That kind of behaviour would not be tolerated in a professional setting, nor should it be.
I’d like to say that this has been an isolated incident, but it hasn’t. Too many people from the mind/body/spirit community have engaged with me in this same way. They sprout messages of freedom, and of love, and of ascendance and unity, and a dawning of a new era of enlightenment, but they bludgeon me with their words, abuse me, and ridicule me.
My crime? I am supposedly one of them (this mind/body/spirit community), but I have ‘crossed over to the dark side’ because I choose to wear a face mask, I believe that the pandemic is real, and I am not joining them in spreading messages about the truth of children hidden in networks of tunnels used by the pedophile elite, the vaccine as mind control or fertility control or a depopulation or tracking tool, COVID as a device for the great unnamed to exert total authority over we, the people. I should know better. I should set a better example for my community. I should stand up for ‘what is right’. My beliefs and behaviours are seen as a betrayal.
I don’t want to argue.
I want to sit down with you.
I want to know what is behind your anger and your rage. I want to know what has generated so much hate and aggression in someone who I know has a good heart. I have seen your care and kindness so many times. Now, I want to be able to understand your pain. I want to connect with the feelings behind the vitriol.
I want to create a safe space where you can cry and rage and get in touch with the part of you that is isolated, hurting, powerless, aching to be seen and heard and understood and included.
I’m sure, once the rage had calmed down, you would tell me things like I’m worried about the consequences of this vaccine, I don’t want history to repeat itself, I feel that the government isn’t listening to people who are suffering from lockdowns, I feel uncertain or anxious about the future, I don’t feel that my voice is represented at any level of government, and so many other things that are your own legitimate concerns and feelings.
I don’t have all the answers. You don’t have all the answers. But when we come together and honestly witness and listen to each other with respect, we can usually find some common ground.
Right now, I don’t know how to reach you, and to tell you that I still care.
Right now, I know you’re not hearing anything I might say.
Right now, I am exhausted from this seemingly endless barrage of anger and hostility directed towards me, and to many of my community.
I am weary of holding space and compassion, when all you do is scream.
I don’t know what to do now, to help healing happen, and for all of our voices to come to the table and be heard.
But, I do know one thing.
I have boundaries.
If you cross them, and hold your fist in my face, and scream abuse at me, I will walk away. I will close the door. I will not engage.
All the same, I wish you well. I wish you peace in your heart, and an alleviation of your suffering.
With love from a slightly more battered and worn-down version of myself today, Nicole xx
I’m sorry you’ve had to experience such distressing behaviour. I had expected that the natural health community would be the source of care, wisdom and support during a pandemic. Instead the offering seems to consist of shrill paranoia, cult-like slogans, sketchy websites and illogical rants. It’s going to take a long time for natural health practitioners to regain the trust of the community after this.
So totally remincent of the school bully..you have to agree with ME, or you cant be in my circle.Such toxic behaviour from a “professional”.so sorry you had to put up with that abusive bully.what ever happened to “Oh , well , thats not what I would have chosen/thats interesting, why do that?”end of story or politely discuss. I really hope she is feeling foolish today, but more likely being petted on the back by someone who has been feeding her this bilge for a while.sending love and energy.your way❤🌻🌻🌻
Dearest Nicole,
Sorry you have to put up with such unkindness. Partly my mind tells me what it would be like if the same were done to the folks who hurt me on intent ,deliberate intentions. I havent, I just turn icy cold. That’s not suggestively courteous ,I know. We all want to survive with as little garbage in our heads as possible.
“I will not engage” really rang a bell with me. And if you are good to.go with that, its gr8 for me as well .
Lots of love ,prayers and hugs
That is crazy! I am so sorry you’ve had to go through this. People seem to be going more and more unhinged. And selfish. And rude, And plain idiotic. Shaking my head about 50 times/day.
My chiropractor, whom I’ve relied on for the past 12 years to get me through the ascension process & keep my mind and body in one piece, won’t get vaccinated and doesn’t get the point of masking. But when I went to him and asked him to use his intuitive abilities to choose the vaccine that my husband & I would best tolerate without long-term issues, he helped me. I’ve thanked him several times for being willing to work with me on this.
Sometimes I don’t realize how fortunate I am.
Thank you for speaking your truth. You are a small but very bright point of light in the ascension community,
Nicole I wear a Face Shield because of breathing difficulties and a paper face mask only exacerbates it
I choose not to have the vaccine….yet anyway. I absolutely hate arguing and arguments because we always dredge up things from the past which cannot be changed and are best left where they are
Discussion is good and differing opinions are food for thought and never ever forget these words
“I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it”
This is the kind of outrageous nonsense some believe in – on a post today
‘If you look at the performance of the likes of Boris Johnson, Scott Morrison, Trump, Macron, Adern from New Zealand and Trudeau and dozens of lesser functionaries like the Premier of Victoria(NSW,Qeensland,etc), it is painfully clear that these people are taking their instruction from above. They are assisting the likes of Rothschild and Gates, Soros and Kissinger and the doyens of international Jewry with their agenda to depopulate the earth and make a staggering fortune in the process. I have stated several times that Western peoples are at war with the Zionists but do not realise they are in one. Rothschild’s/gates’/the Zionists, plans are well advanced. The only scientists we hear from a those on the Zionist payroll. Gates is a major contributor to many of the companies listed. He has given them tens of millions of dollars such that they are beholding to him. Right now, we are all being tragically misinformed, deliberately misled and we have been right from the very start.’
Some people are hopelessly lost. My sincere commiserations.
❤️🧡💛
What has happened to critical thinking? This stuff is totally nuts and makes zero sense. Ugh!!!!
I’m sorry you were abused Nicole, to be attacked like that is shocking from someone you respected and liked.I had a friend in my home last week who declared loudly she would not be getting vaccinated and then challenged me to engage with her. I declined but thought- you won’t be invited into my home again. I was shocked by her and surprised by my reaction. But I will do anything to protect my health compromised husband. My life, my decision, my right…
Nicole, I am so sorry that you have had to endure this abuse. I fully support your choice to be vaccinated and I would have fully supported your choice not to. I deeply appreciate your work, your blog, your honesty, your support and your good grace in so many difficult things. I hope these words can help shield your heart a little from the attacks.
I feel for you and whilst I was never abused, I have recently walked away from a business whose owner and some of her students spouted the same nonsense. They appear to get some of their information from Sky News and the likes of Jones, Bolt and Credlin. Enough said.
Well said, I have family who dissagree with my thoughts on Covid but it isn’t an issue as we respect each others opinion even if we dissagree
What is it about COVID and masks and vaccines that makes people lose their common sense at best, their minds at worst?!?!!
I was at the Dr office today for a CT scan. I had on my mask and in response to the question as to whether I was vaccinated I responded I have received the 2shot Pfizer vaccine. The person behind me (who should have been at least 4 ft behind me and wasn’t) just went off about the vaccine. Screaming and yelling to the
Point they called security. I don’t understand this. I live in the US. Certain vaccines are mandated to attend school and have been for over 40 yrs. seatbelts are mandatory as is obey speed limits. The list is endless. What is it about this vaccine that sparks such rage? I don’t get it
Is it fear?They have swallowed this misinformation, believing it to be true,because they have only been listening to the same info for the past year or so.Their media feed is targeted to feed this fear.Now they may be wrong…fear of appearing foolish makes people angry.It never excuses this type of behaviour.
US reader here as well. I keep telling myself: Anger is fear’s body armor. The world is changing and folks are afraid the life as they knew it will change. Never mind that it just might be changing for the better. The fight against Covid should have brought us closer together, instead it became the excuse to spout hate & fear. I have read that we always respond to anything in two ways – either with love or in fear.
Sending love and hugs to you Nicole. I’m so sorry this happened and that these questions are the reality we live in now.
Awful that you have had to endure this … Compassion, respect, honesty, simple but difficult at the best of times ….and yet you find the words, wonderfully heart stretching, soul weaving words. Much love to you Nicole x
Yes, I was wondering how your post would be received by the extremists. I’m not vaccinated, I’m waiting to see how it pans out. Living where I do, I am now quietly resolute in hoping that others will respect my views & personal decisions. The division in society is breaking my heart. Big hugs & I hope your doing swell today. XO
Totally unprofessional on the part of that other person. I am so sorry that their self righteous behavior has momentarily shattered the tranquility within you. Their behavior is not healthy toward others or themselves. I send you love and light.
So beautifully said. I think what you have written will help a lot of people who have gone through something similar. So sorry you had to go through that though.