Why You Need A Tribe

A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.
~ Unknown

We all need a tribe. A tribe isn’t often the family we are born into. A tribe is a group where we find a spiritual home – a group of people who care passionately about something dear to our own hearts, and who give us a place to belong. A tribe is a place where we can grow, and learn. A tribe is also a place where we can share our knowledge and wisdoms with those walking the same path.

Tribes are built around common interests. I belong to more than one. I’m sure you’ll need at least a couple too.

Before I belonged to any kind of tribe I banged around uselessly on my own, reinventing wheels that never needed all of that effort. There was no-one with whom I could share my successes or failures, no-one to bounce ideas off, no-one to laugh or cry with. I’m all for self-development, but it’s a hard and lonely way to live.

This past long weekend I hung out in the mountains with my writing tribe – the wonderful Sisters of the Pen. We wrote, talked writing, ate and talked writing, wrote some more, laughed a lot, ate, wrote, slept and recharged our batteries with some self time and time in nature. We gave ourselves space and permission to put our passion for writing front and centre in our lives for a few precious days.

I surprised myself, and wrote heaps on a brand new project, as well as getting plenty of planning and project management done. Yep, that’s 17028 words. Yay! My beautiful sistahs helped me negotiate some plot twists and gave useful feedback on issues I’d struggled to nut out on my own.

Our little band of writers has also morphed into something so much more than just a group of women who dig words. We’ve shared tough times and great celebrations, we’ve been secret keepers, cheer squads and good medicine for each other. That’s the beauty of a tribe. You evolve and grow together.

I also belong to a business mentoring group – we are all successful six-figure entrepreneurs who run our businesses in a heart-based way, and who value the support, guidance and friendship of like-minded people. (Yes, my spiritual friends – it is perfectly okay to enjoy prosperity!)  Each week we connect by skype, and then on an online forum, sharing our progress, goals and problems. We live vast distances from each other,  but we have managed to forge connections across oceans, and despite time differences. It’s actually hard to adequately express how valuable this group has been for my own business. It’s just so good to have friends who get where I am coming from, because they are in that same space too.

My business tribe don’t just support me, they hold a space for me, and they call me on my stuff. They are the ones who shout out to me to slow down when I’m being unrealistic, they are the ones who champion my good ideas and who aren’t afraid to tell me if they think my plan is lousy. 🙂  And of course, I do the same for them.

My other tribe is my spiritual community, including my students and clients, and my many friends and readers from around the world whom I’ve met through blogging and social media. I am happy to step up as a leader for my tribe, and I include them in my daily thoughts, prayers and meditations. If you’re reading this, know that you are included in that energy and intention.

My spiritual tribe is where I share my own spiritual and psychic journey, and the things my teachers passed down to me. It’s where we can feel included and normal together, where we can share the sorts of things that other people in our lives may never experience or understand.

Tribes sometimes exist already, and all you have to do is find them.

Sometimes the tribe is waiting to be formed.

They can be a group of people who meet for coffee and a chat, or people who connect over the internet. Or a bit of both.

When you find or create your tribe, the beautiful music inside you finds a way to be expressed in the wider world.

Are you having trouble identifying your tribe? Maybe you’ll find the following exercise useful. Writing in a journal is a great way to connect to your own deeper wisdom.

Journal Exercise:

Start by writing this passage at the top of your page.

Dear Universe, 

I trust that there is a part of me that already knows what makes my heart sing. I also trust that there is a Universal Wisdom which recognises my gifts and talents, and that understands what outcomes and adventures are best for my Highest Good.

I am ready to embrace the possibility of a better life for myself. I am ready to move from struggle into flow.  I am ready for friendship and belonging, and I’m keen to embrace abundance in all its forms. I want you to know that I’m ready for whatever wonderful experiences and opportunities you send my way. I am ready for my Soul to show me my heart’s true desire. I am ready to embrace the kinship of my Soul Tribe.

Now choose any of the following journal starters, and use it to begin writing.  Don’t judge what comes next, and don’t over-think it.  Just trust that what you write will begin to create a greater sense of personal and spiritual awareness in your life.

• I’ve always loved to…
• One thing that makes me completely lose track of time is…
• If I could do anything well, the thing I would choose is _____ because…
• You’ll never guess how it happened.  It all worked out perfectly in the end. One day…
• When I look back, the themes in my life have been…
• If I think about it, the happiest times in my life involve…
• One thing I never get tired of is…
• The thing that fires me up, and that makes me feel completely alive is…
• The sort of people I most want to hang out with include…
• Something people tell me I’m really good at helping them with is…

Once you are clearer about the things that light you up, seek out others who feel the same, or put your own group together! My writers group was formed after we all met at a series of weekend workshops. My business mentoring group was formed from within an online community, and my spiritual tribe has grown out of my own business and interests.

Tribes give you momentum and support, two things that are very valuable in a society where we are often disconnected from ourselves and each other.

So, what’s stopping you? Go find your tribe!

PS:If you’d like to spend time in the company of some wonderful people and are looking to connect with a tribe of your own perhaps my Soul Sanctuary Retreat is what you’re looking for. Come join us in beautiful Byron Bay from November 29 to December 5 for a soulful week of connection, rejuvenation and inspiration.We still have a few places left.

More details on the retreat can be found here

Lots of love, Nicole xx